The Autumn Palace (19 page)

‘I hope so,' Shambles said.

Ondine took in the sight of her great aunt properly. She looked so old and frail. ‘Is the Duke feeling better?'

‘His specialist is here from Venzelemma. We've cancelled all his appointments and have to pretend he's tied up with paperwork.'

‘Is he getting worse?' This was all getting so horrible and serious and not at all like the escapade she thought she'd be having with Hamish.

‘Not worse, exactly. But not any better either.' Old Col made a face and breathed in hard against the pain.

Ondine felt sorry for her great aunt. ‘Pyotr said you needed me?'

‘Did he? That's odd, I don't remember speaking to him.' She sucked her breath in as another pang took hold. ‘Shambles, if this is anything like your pain at transformation, I am truly sorry.'

‘Thanks. Yer a fine woman.' His furry face crinkled in what Ondine could only assume was somewhere between shame and sympathy. ‘If ye'll excuse me.' Shambles made for the bathroom. In a few moments, to Ondine's pure relief, he reappeared as his most gorgeous human self again, clothed and complete with a shy grin.

‘That's much better,' Ondine said, finding herself smiling again.

Hamish's forehead crinkled like a concertina. ‘Aye. I think I know how it happened. The medicine hit me hard and sudden. It made me feel like the pain I get when I'm changing back, and so I did. Sorry aboot the lousy timing.'

Ondine shut her eyes and counted to ten.

‘Oh yes? And what were you and Ondine doing at the time?' Old Col asked.

‘Nothing. Can I get you something to settle your tummy?' Ondine changed the subject as fast as she could.

‘Ha ha, you must have been up to no good. Maybe Hamish felt guilty and that's why he turned back?'

‘Some antacid perhaps, Aunt Col?' Ondine tried again.

‘That would help. And a bowl of Toots Wheat with full-fat milk,' she said, smoothing the bed covers. ‘I always find that helps bind things together and move them along.'

‘I'll get some from the kitchen. I wish I'd thought of it earlier, it might have helped,' Ondine said, thinking back to her own reaction to the medicine.

Old Col breathed hard against the next intestinal spasm. ‘This is so annoying. I have a very important meeting this afternoon with the CovenCon organisers and I must be well. We have a lot to discuss.'

‘What's CovenCon?' Ondine asked.

‘It's our annual witches' convention. It's in Norange this year, of all places, so I'll have to update my passport. Birgit Howser is organising it. There's an oxymoron if ever I heard one. She couldn't organise a you-know-what in a you-know-where. Oh, come on, stop swooning at each other and get me some medicine!'

‘You know, maybe we should all get out of here
and go home.' Ondine huffed out a pent-up sigh. ‘The whole lot of them are wonky in the head. The Duchess is stashing money, the Duke thinks his sister should be sectioned. Not to mention the way Vincent turned out. What makes people behave like that?'

‘Generations of inbreeding,' Hamish said.

Ondine laughed.

‘He's a balloon, that Vincent,'
⁸¹
he added.

From the smile on his face, Ondine could tell he was really warming to the subject.

Old Col gave a slow shake of her head. ‘Ondine, our family is far from perfect. Those who live in glass houses and all that.'

‘We might have a few fights, but at least my family all love each other. I remember that night at the pub, the way the Duke looked at Vincent, as if he were nothing more than a huge disappointment. Vincent has everything he could ever want, but he's a total pain.'

‘Too much money can do that to you,' Old Col said.

Hamish slapped his hands together. ‘Right, weil,
enough tongues flapping like lambs' tails. We've goat a job tae do here and I fer one plan tae get it done.'

‘Oh, look at you, sounding all in charge,' Ondine said, teasing.

‘I was trying tae be more polite than saying “atspish”, but ye forced me hand.'
⁸²

‘Yes, yes,' Col said, ‘I know we haven't achieved much, but we'll get there.'

‘I dinnae mean tae rush ye, hen, but the Duke's in trouble and we're standing round jabbering. Let's get back tae work, like.'

A wince of regret stole across Ondine. Why did Hamish have to like it here so much?

 

80
   Most of us make do with two-hundred-thread-count cotton; that is, two hundred strands of cotton per square inch of fabric, counting the up and downy threads and the side to sidey threads. Most weavers claim it's impossible to create true one-thousand-thread-count cotton, as there is simply no way to squeeze five hundred threads vertically and horizontally into one square inch. These weavers have yet to meet the incredible craftsmen and women of Venzelemma, who achieve the impossible on a daily basis
.

81
   ‘Balloon' – somebody with an inflated ego
.

82
   ‘Atspish' – a less than stellar result
.

I
t was the end of another long day of school, butlering and homework. Ondine felt all warm and dozy as she settled into bed. Sleep embraced her like a welcoming hug. Scratching noises on the floor heralded the arrival of something small and furry.

‘Pssst,' he said.

‘Whah?' Ondine murmured, not keen to open her eyes because it felt so good to keep them closed. Even though it was Shambles in the room and she should make the effort. But she was so tired. Couldn't he come back later?

‘PSST!' he said, louder this time.

Through the fog of half-sleep, Ondine pulled the cover over her head. But then she heard his voice say,
‘I'm me again. And ye need more blankets because I'm fair freezing.'

She opened one eye and saw the man of her dreams, wrapped in two blankets he'd stolen from the end of her bed. ‘Oh, Hamish, it's you.'

‘Shh, don't wake Draguta,' he said.

‘Fine, but you're the one making all the noise.'

‘Ye have tae come with me, lass. There's something going on that ye should know aboot.'

‘But I'm all warm.'

‘It's the Duchess. She's not happy.'

The warmth evaporated. She wobbled out of bed and wrapped her quilt around her shoulders to stave off the chill. Her feet prickled with cold, so she reached for her shoes.

‘Naw, lass, ye need tae be quiet, like.'

‘Righto.' She pulled her socks on and her feet slid on the parquet floor.

‘Aye, good,' Hamish said as they padded down the hallway, making barely a noise.

‘Why are we going to the laundry?' Ondine asked once she realised the direction he was taking her.

‘Because the chutes have ears,' Hamish said, leading her to one of the gaping black cupboard doors. ‘They're like a periscope fer sound.' Hamish crouched on the floor and waved Ondine to sit beside him. She leant into his embrace and felt freshly warmed and cared for. If they weren't having to spy on people in such a drab location, it might almost be romantic.

Voices carried down the chute. ‘It's the Duchess and Ms Kyryl!' Ondine said.

‘Smart lass.' Hamish kissed her on the forehead.

Kerala and Ms Kyryl were chatting – complaining, really – about some kind of problem.

‘I tell you, no good can come of them being here,' the Duchess said. ‘Things turned strange the moment they arrived. I've never seen a storm like it. And then fish fell from the sky. I mean, don't you think that's fishy? And they have done nothing for my dear husband's health.'

Turning to Hamish, Ondine saw him make a face that said,
I know
. Understanding and worry passed between them – they were trying to help the Duke but
the Duchess seemed convinced they were to blame for his failing health.

‘The old woman is paid far too much for doing nothing. And the girl – I tell you, cuz, there was something in her eyes when she looked at me and read my palm. As if she had nothing but bad intent towards me.'

‘That's not true,' Ondine whispered to Hamish. ‘She's got it in for me and I haven't done anything.'

‘Ye dinnae have tae convince me,' he whispered back.

Hamish hugged her harder as the voices carried down the chute.

‘I can get her expelled for you, would that make you feel better?' Ms Kyryl said. ‘Set her a test she'll fail. Or catch her cheating, which I already suspect at any rate.'

‘That would remove the child, but what about the old woman?' Kerala asked.

‘We're done for!' Ondine exclaimed.

‘Hush.' Hamish kissed her again to console her. ‘At least now we know what we're up against.'

They listened harder and did not like what they heard one bit.

‘The old lady has to go, Dionysia. I don't like the influence that woman has. I can't help thinking she's poisoning Pavla's mind against me.'

‘Really?' Ms Kyryl asked the very question Ondine was thinking.

‘He promoted her to personal secretary pretty fast. I'm suspicious. She made him stay here while I went to Venzelemma on my own. Who knows what she slipped into his food or whispered into his ear in my absence.'

Ondine's brows rose in surprise. Her great aunt had become Pavla's secretary? Way to go, Col!

‘You told me he was too sick to travel.'

‘That's what she said.'

‘I see. Well, I can't do much about the old lady, but I can do something about the girl. Set her exams to fail, make it seem like going home is a better option, that sort of thing.'

Ondine shivered. ‘We're in so much trouble. We have to tell the Duke about what she's saying.'

‘Aye, but ye've seen them together. He's totally in
loave with her. If we say she's a bad egg, then we really will be poisoning his mind against her.'

‘We're trying to help him. Can't she see that?' Fear and dread twisted in Ondine's gut. ‘I've just noticed, the Duchess isn't slurring her words like she normally does.'

‘Mebbe she's on the wagon?'
⁸³
Hamish said, giving her a reassuring hug.

‘First time for everything,' Ondine said, trying to make light of the situation.

Ms Kyryl said, ‘It's getting cooler in the mornings. I can see the children's breath as they speak. Can I press you to ensure the renovations at the school are completed soon?'

‘Surely it's not that cold yet? Anyway, if we want that girl gone, no point making her comfortable. Oh, would you look at the time? I must get my beauty rest.'

‘Yes, of course. I'll let myself out.'

Huddled together after hearing such a damning conversation, something pricked the back of Ondine's mind. ‘I just realised something,' she said. ‘Kerala called her “cuz”. I didn't know they were related.'

‘It explains why the teacher is on such a good wicket. It also means ye'll have tae be on yer best behaviour in school.'

‘Which means I can't cheat any more. She's already suspicious about me. She'll catch me for sure and expel me.'

‘But if ye fail, she'll send ye home. I need ye here with me, Ondi, I can't do this without ye.'

His kiss made Ondine feel warm all the way through. It affected her brain like amnesia potion, making her forget everything except him.

Which is why it took them so long to get back to the room she shared with Draguta.

After another of his sweet kisses, Hamish pulled back and said, ‘Is school so horrible that ye'd want tae leave me?'

‘Of course not. Did I tell you we're doing a play for the Harvest Ball at Hallowe'en?' They had to keep
their voices low, so as not to wake her room-mate. It had the effect of making Hamish even more delectable when everything he said sounded like sweet nothings in her ear.

‘No, ye didnae. Yer in a play? Sounds like fun.'

‘It only lasts for five minutes, no biggie.'

‘What's your role? Queen of the Harvest?'

‘Er, no. Promise you won't laugh.'

‘I solemnly swear.' Hamish made the sign of an ‘x' over his heart. Then he did the sweetest thing, he leant in and tenderly rubbed his nose against Ondine's.

Ondine gave a quiet sigh. ‘I'm the Cabbage.'

Hamish smiled, but kept his honourable promise and didn't laugh. ‘Is that so bad? Is it a speaking role?'

‘I have one line.'

‘That's Barry. I can't wait tae see it. I'll tell Old Col, we'll be cheering for ye.'

Ondine gave Hamish a kiss. ‘Thanks.'

‘What fer?'

‘For not making fun of me.'

‘I wouldnae do that. But lass, ye still look sad.'

Another dramatic sigh. ‘I am. If I want to stay here, I have to study even harder. I'd better hit the books . . . and you'd better go.'