The Awakening (17 page)

She grabbed her collection of real estate magazines, took her coffee and settled herself on the sofa. She flicked on the television and left the set on one of the lifestyle channels, one about up-dating old apartments. She half watched it as she leafed through the papers, pen in hand ready to circle anything she thought might suit them both. Zanzibar settled himself beside her while Alaska curled up at Carmen’s feet. She smiled, this was good, surrounded by the two creatures she loved most in the world, a message of love from Andrew singing in her head and her future unfurling like a brightly coloured ribbon before her. She could imagine herself leaving her basement and living quite happily in some of the houses set out before her. She just hoped Andrew would like what she liked. But surely they could agree on that easily enough?

As evening approached she headed out to the park for a long run with the dogs. She kept her eyes open as the light faltered, half expecting to see Victor running through the woods a little away from her keeping his eye on her. But there were no streaks of white as she ran. Carmen was almost disappointed, but relieved to get through a day without Victor in it, although her mother’s talk about him and the dogs at lunch had been disconcerting. Carmen considered it all as she ran and concluded that her mother was, once again, confused. She’d seen Victor somewhere and imagined he was the man from long ago. But then again, he always seemed to know more about Carmen than she did herself and perhaps her mother was actually correct. So, in that case, why didn’t Victor just tell her the truth? She knew what he would say if she questioned him about this – look inside. Was everything he needed her to know already in a secret part of her consciousness just waiting to be unlocked? It was possible wasn’t it – given how little she knew of her family or herself come to that, that she’d just hidden things away. But it was usually painful things that were locked up, secreted in hidden passages of one’s psyche. Was there more pain in her past? She didn’t want to think about that. Tonight she was going to call AA and just think about him.

After dinner of pasta and fruit Carmen ran herself a deep bath, poured rose and patchouli oil into the running water and scattered rose petals on the surface. The smell was heady and sensual. She took a large glass of wine into the bathroom and grabbed her cordless phone. Her text message telling Andrew to be in his hotel room around eight thirty New York time meant they could talk for a while. She stepped into the bath, settled herself in, had a sip of wine and dialled the number.

Andrew picked up on the second ring. “Carmen. It’s so good to talk to you. I feel like it’s been years.”

Hi, Honey,” she said, her face breaking into a spontaneous grin. He’d been gone for over two weeks and she was now regretting suggesting to Victor that Andrew should be sent away for so long. She really was missing him.

“So, how have you been?”

“Pretty good. Busy, you know.”

“Safe and sound?”

“Of course. You know me.” She laughed at the constancy of his concern. Perhaps he was right – she needed someone to look after her.

“And you? Having any adventures?”

“Just work, Hon, that’s all. It’s been pretty intense. But I miss you. I really do.”

“I miss you too, Andrew.”

“What’ve you got on?”

Carmen giggled. “What sort of a question is that?”

“Well, I’m sitting here, all alone in this strange part of the world, and I’m just thinking about my girl and wondering what she’s wearing.”

“I’m in the bath.”

“So, you’re entirely naked?”

“Entirely.”

“All wet and slippery?”

“Bubbles and sweet smells.”

“Are your breasts floating just above the water with your nipples all erect and tight or are they soft and big and red because you’re so warm and relaxed?”

“They’re big and pink. I’m very relaxed and warm. It’s all steamy in here.”

“Do you have a glass of wine?”

She giggled: how well he knew her. “Of course.”

“Good,” he said. “Take a long sip. Let it trickle down your throat. Let yourself feel the wine, become completely relaxed.”

“It sounds like you want to take advantage of me,” Carmen purred.

“I always want to take advantage of you, especially when you’re naked and wet.”

“It’s just as well I love you.”

“That’s what I want to hear,” Andrew smiled at the end of the phone in his hotel room. “Now I want you to do what I tell you.”

“Andrew?”

“Trust me. Relax. Let me take you to those places I take you when I’m with you. Listen to my voice, Carmen. Think about when we’re together, when we’re really together. Just you and me.”

Carmen took another sip of wine and closed her eyes. She let herself fall under the spell Andrew was weaving over the phone. She found his voice intoxicating, the smooth velvet tones reaching out to her from across the Pacific.

“Okay baby, just go with me. Do what I tell you. I’m going to close my eyes and imagine you in your bath. Your breasts, all pert with the water lapping on them. They’re pink and look good enough to eat. I want to lick your nipples, suck at them and bite them gently until they go hard like little dark pink buttons. Are you touching your nipples, Carmen?”

“Oh, yes. I’m circling my nipples with my finger and now I’m squeezing and massaging them. One, very slowly and then the other. Slowly, slowly, Andrew, imagining it’s your hand on my breast, your mouth on my nipple. It’s as if you’re here in the tub with me.”

“Good, that’s good, Carmen.” Andrew’s breathing was slowing, his voice deepening. “Now move your hand down across your body. Down the long brown lean line of your belly. Touch the inside of your thigh. You know, the soft gentle part that you love me to touch. Just let your fingers butterfly there. Feel your skin, how soft you are. Is your mouth open, Carmen? Is your breathing changing?”

“Yes, oh, yes, Andrew. My heart is starting to pound. Can I move my hand yet? I want to move my hand.”

“Just wait. Don’t rush. Let the urgency in your pussy build. Let the blood move to your core. Arch your back, push your hips up, open your legs now. Let the water push against you. Now you can slowly move your hand to the outside of your pussy. Just feather your fingers there. Stroke yourself gently on your downy fur. Are you purring, Carmen? You should be purring.”

“I am,” Carmen growled into the phone.

“Good girl. That’s my Carmen. Now you can push your finger inside. Find your clit, rub it gently now. Just softly. Feel how good that is. It is isn’t it?”

Carmen could feel the waves of passion washing her, she could feel Andrew there with her, touching her, caressing her, moving into her with every word he spoke. She moved her fingers inside, into the moist jungle of her heat, where her desire for Andrew was unquestionable. She felt him moving in her as she moved her fingers in and out, pushing deeper with each movement. She was opening like a flower receiving the sun and the rain, welcoming the heat and the wetness. Inside her tropical wet jungle the animal was awakening. She opened her mouth to moan and felt a roar moving from the very depths of her. Her fingers were thrusting deeper and deeper as the roar erupted from her open mouth. She felt her pussy shudder and spasm and a wave of heat rush her body from head to toe, a tingling wave that moved up her spine boring into her brain, exploding into light and bliss. She sighed and felt her body exhale, relax back into the bath, her face flushed pink, her mouth smiling foolishly.

“Hey, Hon,” Andrew called it seemed from miles away. “Was that as good for you as it was for me?”

“Ah, yes. That was great,” Carmen smiled. “I needed that.”

“Me too. I miss you, Carmen.”

“You should have rung sooner, Honey. We could have been doing this all the time you’ve been away.”

Andrew sighed. “I have been leaving messages, Carmen. Nearly every day. You’re not there. You just text me. I was beginning to think you’d found someone else.”

Carmen laughed at her own foolishness. How ridiculous to think that she had wanted him to go and thought that she wasn’t ready to get married. At least this separation showed her what was important. And this lovely little bit of phone sex was entirely what the sex doctor would have ordered.

“Oh, Andrew, I just miss you. Much more than I thought. When are you coming home?”

“A few days now. Wednesday, I hope. Things were a lot harder in Brazil than we expected. Didn’t Victor talk to you about it?”

Carmen didn’t want to think about Victor, or Brazil for that matter, not after connecting so electrically with Andrew again. “I’ve hardly seen him. What with the book and my mother and your mother.”

“Of course. I love you, Carmen Whyte.”

“I love you, Andrew Adams.”

“I’ll see you soon. Ciao.”

Carmen held the phone for a little while, listening to the dial tone, completely back under Andrew’s spell and desperate for Wednesday.

Sunday passed in a daze of solitary contemplations. Carmen even bought some wedding magazines and began looking at dresses and reception possibilities. She’d made a short list of possible new homes for them and was happy to be considering dresses and, of course, honeymoon destinations. Her love for Andrew had been renewed and she was looking forward to the conversations they would have about their future together. She was even looking forward to visiting with Andrew’s family next weekend.

She went to bed peaceful and calm, looking forward to the week and able to focus on matters other than Victor, bears, and destinies of great importance. It had been reassuring last night that in the throws of passion in her bath she had not, even for the smallest of seconds thought of Victor. Sure, he would be there in the office tomorrow and he would smile in that winning, compellingly sexy way but she would not melt, not doubt her feelings for Andrew. Not now. Not again. By Christmas she would be married and planning a family. That was what she wanted. That was her destiny. Something straight forward and normal. Even if Andrew was destined for great things. And she was sure that he was.

Sleep cam easily and she was in a place of sand and heat, shimmering mirages. It seemed she was in the desert. The air was dry and hot. She wasn’t sure if she liked the place. But Andrew was there so everything would be fine. She looked to where he was in intense conversations with some strange looking men who kept looking across at her. She didn’t like the look of them or the way they looked at her. She felt they were sizing her up and wondered, given the heat and the strangeness of the place, if Andrew was in fact negotiating to sell her. She had a strong feeling that his machinations were directly about her. She saw him pass a brown envelope stuffed with money to one of the men. He nodded and shook Andrew’s hand. The deal was done She laughed in her dream, how silly was that? As if Andrew would do anything to hurt her. He loved her and wanted to marry her. Perhaps they were going to marry in the dessert. But she hated the heat. He returned to her, smiling, those black-brown eyes twinkling. How she loved him! He took her in his arms and despite the suffocating heat, they locked together in a passionate embrace. He kissed her fiercely and she felt his need for her. She expected him to pick her up and whisk her off to their air-conditioned car to take them to their air-conditioned hotel and make love all afternoon. But he kept kissing her, his tongue roaming across her face, licking her neck, her cheeks. She tried to push him off. It was as if he were tasting her, preparing to eat her. She felt his urgency but this was more than passion. But the more she pushed him away, the more he licked her. She felt the heat growing about her and felt ill. Why wouldn’t Andrew get off her and let her breath?

With a violent shove she pushed him back wards and sat up in bed to find Zanzibar licking her face in a frantic attempt to wake her. Instantly she was wide awake. She sat still to listen, was there anyone there? After the recent attack and despite the security measures she was still somewhat jumpy in the apartment. Her place was empty but there was an overwhelming smell of smoke and as she looked out the bedroom door she could see flames flickering. Clearly Zanzibar had been trying to wake her for several minutes. She got up and found that Alaska had dragged her handbag, cell phone, keys and photo album to the floor beside her bed. She’d been rescuing items while Zanzibar had tried to wake Carmen. Where had the fire come from? She wondered why the new uber-security system wasn’t making its hideous wailing sound – that should have woken her, not Zanzibar.

She threw on her robe and ugg boots and went to the door. The dogs sniffed and stood in front of her, stopping her from going any further.

“It’s all right guys,” she crooned. “But we need to get out.”

She grabbed her bag and album, ascertained that the fire was coming from the kitchen and living room and that smoke was just beginning to sweep down the corridor. She took the photo of her and her dad with the puppies off the wall and headed to the back door. Her medals and trophies were all in the cabinet in the living room but it was not going to be possible to get to them. She sighed, so what. She had what mattered most. The smoke seemed to be racing down the passage now. She shut the bedroom door and guided the dogs to the door. She fumbled with the lock. Deadlocked and complicated now, thanks to Andrew. Where was the key? She fiddled with the locks, tried to force the lock open through force of her will. Why had she let Andrew remove the glass from the back door? Sure she could break down the glass doors out onto the back deck, but that meant going back into the room that was clearly already engulfed in flames and smoke. There wouldn’t be enough oxygen in the room for her to make it to the doors and smash her way through.