The Awakening (19 page)

We got up from the bar and headed back to our area, when someone grabbed Jay from behind and spun him around. I tried to get a gauge on the situation quick, before Jay's temper got the best of him.

“I'm hoping you think you know me to be grabbing me like that, bruh.” Jay was already on dude before I could grab him. In the corner of my eye, I could see Ice picking up and heading in our direction.

“Naw, homey, but we do have your bitch of a wife in common though,” he said. This guy was hostile. I could feel the heat on him. “Your bitch gave me and my boy the clap the night you caught us with her.”

“You're a liar!” Jay countered. Suddenly the deeper wounds from that night came rising furiously to the surface all over again.
“I should have taken care of you both that night!”

“I'd suggest you check your bitch and make sure, partner,” he warned before walking away. He shoved a dancer out of his way as he stormed out the main entrance of the club.

I had to hold on to Jay to keep him from continuing after him, and Ice made sure to provide backup in case he slid from my grip.
But the damage had already been done. There was some severe trouble on the horizon, and if that guy was right, a lot of people could be affected.

“What was that about, Jay?” Ice asked.

“I don't know, but he just helped me make a decision.” Jay gritted his teeth, the anger still consuming him. “Jasmine's done. I don't want to see that bitch again.”

21
RAMESSES

It had been a couple of weeks since the incident at Magic City.

I was still reeling from the venom the dude had spat when he'd seen Jay at the club. If what he'd said was true, then Jasmine may have cheated on him with some other people as well. This was getting really thick, really quick. To make sure, I advised my boy to go get tested to make sure he was clear. Luckily, the tests came back negative on everything, including HIV.

October was rolling around the corner fast, which meant that Amenhotep's Halloween party was coming up. Whatever problems Jay had to work out, he was on his own for a while. I couldn't be all to everyone, especially when I had my own House to deal with, both in and out of the alternative world.

There's a term my father always used: “addition by subtraction.” Being a photographer, I employed that strategy all the time because people do cancel, sometimes at the last minute. It served me well in my alternative life as well, because submissives can leave you as quickly, sometimes through the fault of no one at all.

I wasn't prepared for the gauntlet that unexpectedly got thrown down in front of me, though.

jamii called me completely out of the blue to let me know she wanted to be released from service. She didn't know whether to be pissed or scared of my calmness to her request. But frankly speaking,
why get upset? Almost all of the time, submissives leave for two reasons: they're not happy and they've found another Dominant they thought would treat them better than you, or they want to return to a vanilla lifestyle because things didn't go exactly as planned when they entered this lifestyle. I've always likened the latter to wanting to go back to “prison,” but that's my opinion.

In the end, she sounded almost hurt I didn't put up more of a fight. The truth was I saw it coming, ever since the safi's collaring, when she kept silently begging for my attention the entire night. Within a Poly House of multiple submissives, a submissive had to have a certain mentality to handle the fact that the primary focus would not be on them all of the time. Each of the girls knew it before presenting themselves as willing submissives within the House.

But that's what happens when you start reading those BDSM romance novels. That's not reality, and I don't know anyone who has lived that life. I mean, come on? A twenty-something or thirty-something male knowing all there is to know about domination and submission without stepping one foot into the real-time community to learn what it took a lot of us decades to perfect?

If you believed that, I have a lovely home in Agra, India I would love to sell to you.

She called herself trying to disrespect by sending her collar back to us via mailing, but what she did was anger Neferterri, who promptly found out who the new Dominant was she had turned to for “more personal attention” and informed him of the disrespect of her act. He, in a rare act of respect for us, immediately discontinued his consideration of her as his submissive.

As quiet as it was kept, respect and honor were a part of the way things were done around there. So, as a thank you for his display of respect, Amenhotep released one of His service slaves interested
in acquisition into the gentleman's service. jamii ended up moving out of Atlanta altogether after that.

I guess she thought she could pick up and find what she wanted somewhere else.

The last thing I remembered hearing about jamii, she had decided to leave the lifestyle and find a vanilla boyfriend because the lifestyle had “bored” her. She can front all she wanted, but the bottom line was she tried to act like the victim and got burned by her own BS. In the process of trying to exact whatever revenge she thought she was going to get, she completely screwed herself out of a good opportunity. As I said before, this was a realm of honor and respect, and what was given, was also received.

nuru was the next to go, and it happened less than a week later.

She started to purposely break the rules in an attempt to get attention as well. That really did nothing more than to upset us. In my pursuit of Angel and Kitana, I guess it was supposedly my fault neither I nor Neferterri paid attention to her. Or should I say
enough
attention to her. Here we go with those damn romance books again. But instead of trying to release her without backlash, we simply punished her with the silent treatment. The one thing we couldn't tolerate was a disobedient submissive for the sake of being disobedient. She was also forbidden from keeping in touch with either Kitana or shamise.

After a week, she simply faded to black, literally. We checked at her apartment to make sure she was in one piece, but we were greeted by an eviction notice on her door. Word got around after nuru disappeared; she had been placed behind bars due to a warrant that she had in her hometown.

Damn.

When I checked on the warrant, it turned out she had been busted
on narcotics offenses from an old boyfriend who had dropped a dime on her before she'd come to Atlanta. Oh well, I guess you never really know a person, even after a year of service.

But the one that really hurt was shamise asking for her release, after being with us the longest. Her vanilla boyfriend asked her to marry him, and he had taken a more lucrative position with a company on the West Coast. Although she didn't want to be released, common sense had to take over because we were not big fans of long distance relationships, D/s or otherwise. Even in the Internet age, it's not practical.

“i don't want to leave, Daddy.”

“This isn't pleasant for Me either, baby girl. But you made it clear, you want to be with this man, and he's moving across the country for his new position.”

“i know. i know You would never want me to choose between him and You and my Goddess, but i can't leave this House. Is there another way?”

“There is, but it would require you to choose between your D/s family or your vanilla life. I can make that choice for you, but I don't know how well you would like that choice.”

I heard shamise softly tearing up over the phone. I understood where she was coming from, I truly did. This was something that was dealt with a lot—the balance between keeping a vanilla profile and enjoying being a libertine and a kinkster.

She was the last one I wanted to take a hard line with, but I didn't have a choice.

“Daddy, i don't want to be released, but i want to be with him, too.”

“The only way that this will work is if he stays here in Atlanta. If he's insistent upon leaving for L.A. and you choose to leave with him, then we have to release you.”

I heard the angst in her voice, and it tore me up she felt this way.

“i'm sorry You feel that way, Daddy. i wish to be released.”

“I can hear it in your voice, shamise, you don't want to be released. Why are you torturing yourself and us like this?”

I didn't want to let her go, but she knew the protocols of the House. She's our Alpha submissive, not someone who could be easily replaced, and I didn't want to replace her. Not even Kitana would be able to completely do that. In time, maybe, but that void would be a hard one to fill for the foreseeable future.

As much as I didn't want to admit it, it was perfectly obvious: we loved her without question. I wasn't about to give in without a fight.

“He loves me, Daddy.”

“We love you, shamise. you belong to us; you know this is true.”

“Tell me what to do, Daddy,
please.”

This was starting to roll downhill quicker than I wanted, and I felt my grasp slipping by the minute. By the time Neferterri came through the door and saw the expression on my face, she knew something had to be done or else a bond, once so strong, would never be remade.

I quickly explained the situation before giving her the phone. I needed a break to gather my thoughts.

“Baby girl, this is Neferterri. Daddy explained to Me what's going on.” Neferterri went into negotiation mode, something I was unwilling to do. “Do you really love this man?”

“Yes, Goddess, that's why this is killing me.”

“I know, baby, I can see it on your Daddy's face. Is there any way that we can find a happy compromise?” she asked.

“Goddess, if You both would consider letting me travel to You, at Your whim, i will handle the rest of the details with my soon-to-be husband.”

“We can't ask you to do that, shamise. It would put you in a difficult
position, one we would not be comfortable asking you to do.”

“But i don't want to lose You.”
Her emotions were on the brink of meltdown, the same as where she was with me.

“Okay, let's slow this down a bit.” Neferterri rubbed her temples as she tried to think a minute. “shamise, what we will do is this: we will temporarily release you while you make your transition to L.A. What I mean is for a few months, you will not be obligated to this House in any way, until things start to settle down in your vanilla life out there with your fiancé. After those few months pass, which will put us into the New Year, We will send for you, so we all can assess where things stand and move from there. Do you understand Me, baby girl?”

“Yes, Goddess, that sounds agreeable. Will i be allowed to keep my name?”

“No, baby girl, your name belongs within this House. Protocol obligates us to take your name back, for now. But it will never be given to another submissive within our charge; do you understand Me?”

“Yes, Goddess, i understand. If things progress as we all would hope, will i be given the opportunity to earn my name back, or be given a new one more proper to the House?”

“Yes, baby girl. Right now, you need to follow the path you have chosen. We will always be here. Just because you don't have your physical collar does not mean that you won't be able to feel the eyes of Kemet-Ka on you.”

As much as I didn't want to sound callous, knowing Neferterri and I had Kitana and Angel waiting in the wings took the sting of losing shamise away a little bit. Still, as a Dominant, you really never wanted to lose any of your submissives, mainly because separation anxiety took effect. After all, you shared a lot with that
person, and some of it was very intense, very intimate. At the same time, life moved on. I was not willing to go through the anxiety with shamise—not after three years of blissful servitude.

I kissed my Beloved. She could tell I was emotionally exhausted from the whole ordeal, as was she. But hearing our little one breathe a sigh of relief with the contingency plan laid out for her to follow was better than losing her altogether. Perhaps a long distance D/s union could be fashioned? Who knew what the future held?

“You know she'll be home again soon, Beloved, right?” Neferterri wiped the tears from my eyes as she sat in my lap. I wiped the tears from hers as we shared a kiss to console each other.

“I know, Beloved,” I answered. I wasn't completely convinced of my response to her question, but I wanted to believe in my heart she would be. “It still hurts to have her away from us.”

“We'll be fine, darling,” she said. “Things have a way of working themselves out; we simply have to be patient.”

22
RAMESSES