The Awakening: Aidan (22 page)

One by one the men backed out, including Rafael. As Jaylin moved to follow, the cougar stepped forward into the room, eyes locked on hers. Its snarls made her swallow. The room shrank. Suddenly there wasn’t enough space between her and the animal. The caterwaul that came from it right before it charged petrified Jaylin right on the spot. All she could do was stare in abject terror as the feline slammed the distance closed between them.

Trevor immediately shifted into his beast, a Bengal tiger, and intercepted the raging animal. The felines rolled on the floor an entangled mess of teeth, muscles, and claws. The cougar tore into Trevor’s back, causing him to yelp and scurry to the side.

“Stop! Aidan. Please. Stop!”

That brought the cougar’s attention right back to her. She held up her hands and stepped back. It prowled toward her, low growls warning if she so much as moved it’d kill her.

Hope that Aidan was somewhere in that animal dwindled. Aidan and his beast were one. Without his beast, Aidan was just a human. Without Aidan, the beast was just an animal—a rabid wildcat. One that had its sights on her.

The cougar lowered, preparing to pounce. Just as it sprang up, something popped and whizzed by her cheek. A dart punctured the shoulder of the cougar. It hissed, changing directions mid-jump toward the man who had shot it. Three more pops fired. Animal or not, all she saw was Aidan snarling and trying to defend himself.

“Stop! God! Stop. Don’t hurt him anymore!” She fell to her knees, covering her mouth with her hands as the cougar staggered, then fell to its side.

Jaylin crawled forward. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Aidan. Oh, God. What have I done? I’m so sorry.”

With a trembling hand, she caressed the side of its face and wiped the moisture from her eyes with the other. He jerked, eyes watching her every move. Lips quivering on barely-there snarls.

“I love you. Please,
please
, come back to me.”

Chapter Twelve

One week, two days, five hours, thirty-four minutes, fifty-two seconds.

That was how much time had passed since they’d smuggled Aidan into her office in the dead of night—how long it had been with no change.

He
will
come back to you.

Over the last few days, Rafael’s parting words as he’d hugged her on the tarmac right before she’d climbed into the helicopter with Trevor and his men had been a source of strength in one of the darkest times in her life. But with each passing day, as she watched Aidan circle his cage, teeth bared, foam dripping from the corners of his mouth, the words she’d clung to were starting to lose their potency.

She shifted on a chair, curling her legs underneath her, staring at the prison that had become Aidan’s home. The once warm, spacious room that used to be filled with cushy seating, welcoming knickknacks, and fresh flowers now felt so cold, uninviting. Everything had been removed but one chair and a huge dog pillow for Aidan to sleep on. But that wasn’t the change she hated most.

She hated the steel bars that had been installed to cage him, hated the chalk line that had been drawn on the floor to remind her to keep her distance after a frightening incident where the cougar had swiped its massive paw out toward her. After this was all said and done, she’d never be able to walk into this room again, would most likely move her practice altogether—far away from anything that could bring back any memories.

She’d have a hard enough time forgetting without the constant reminders.

Jaylin rubbed the heel of her palm against her gritty eyes.

She was exhausted. Couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten, slept, or even showered. Her hair was knotted, coffee stained the front of her white T-shirt, and purple circles darkened the skin underneath her eyes, but she couldn’t care less. All she cared about was staying with Aidan as much as Trevor would allow her, which wasn’t much in her opinion.

He’d barred her from the experiments after the first day, saying she was more of a hindrance than help. She couldn’t deny his observation. The cougar was ten times harder to deal with when she was present. Trevor didn’t have an explanation for this, but, taking pity on her she was sure, he’d said he believed the animal’s reaction was because it could sense the men’s beast, and since she didn’t have one, it viewed her as the weakest prey.

Yet the few times Pam had been in the room, the animal hadn’t tried to attack her, so the no-beast theory was nothing more than a hopeless attempt to make Jaylin feel better. Because of this, she had an uglier theory—one that made more sense than being the easiest kill. She’d abused them. Though the cougar didn’t have human intelligence like the beast did, some kind of instinctual memory made the animal remember how much she’d hurt Aidan and his beast when she’d continually denied them. And like a cornered or injured animal, it was instinctively lashing back at the person who had done it harm.

And every time it did, she felt physical pain as if it’d actually gotten its claws into her.

A light touch landed on her shoulder and she jerked her head up to find Pam standing there. An ever-present sad smile graced her friend’s lips. She handed Jaylin a bottle of water and a muffin. “Thought you could use some energy.”

“Thanks.” She took both, but placed them on her lap, and went back to staring at the animal that stared back at her.

Pam came around the chair. “You need to eat, Jaylin. You’re starting to worry me. You’ve been living off nothing but coffee for days. It’s not healthy.”

Jaylin glanced down at the muffin in her lap, but couldn’t bring herself to eat it. Her stomach was so tied in knots the idea of food made it twist even tighter. “Do you know the last words he said to me before this nightmare began?”

Pam paused, biting her bottom lip. “You haven’t said much of anything since you got back.”

Because she couldn’t find the strength to talk. All she seemed to be able to do was stare at the animal and hope. Hope that this was a dream and she’d wake up. When that dwindled, she hoped she’d see a sign of Aidan, which then led to hope that Trevor would slam through the door with a “Eureka, I’ve got it,” and everything would become normal again.

Hope. She was running out of it.

“He said he wished he’d never laid eyes on me.” She covered her hand with her mouth, smothering a sob. She’d never said the words out loud, but they had replayed so much in her head over the last week she thought she’d go crazy. “And he still sacrificed himself to save my life. I’ve never done anything good for that man. Even he knew it in the end.”

Her friend squeezed her hand. “I don’t know what caused him to say that, but I don’t believe a word of it. You’re his mate. He could no sooner hate you than leave you.”

“But he has, hasn’t he.”

“Not by choice, Jaylin. The device did this, not you.”

“Didn’t I? I continuously pushed him away, reminded him we’d never be together the way he wanted. What if I killed his will to fight?”

Pam lifted an eyebrow. “We are still talking about Aidan O’Connell, correct? That man has more fight in him than anyone I know.”

That he did. “Why isn’t he coming back, then?”

“I don’t know, but I can pretty much guarantee that he’d do it all again if he knew it was the only way to save you.”

“Sad, isn’t it? He’d willingly give his life for a woman who refused to be loved by him. That was all he wanted, Pam. To love me, and I refused him.” Her throat tightened on another sob and she covered her face in her hands, allowing all the emotions she’d kept locked away to flow free. Pam took her into her arms, holding her tight. When Jaylin pulled back, her friend was blurry through her tears. “W-why did I refuse him? I’d take it all back now if I could.”

Maybe if she’d bonded to him, she could’ve used that bond to reach him now. She could feel that he was okay. But all she had was this uncertainty that she’d ever feel whole again, that
he’d
ever be whole again, and it terrified her.

“I know you would, and there’s still hope.”

There was that word again.

“How? Trevor has tried everything he could think of, fixing his favorite meals, playing his favorite music, having Liam and Britton talk to him. You’ve even shocked him with the
Splycer
under sedation. What’s left to try?”

The day Liam and Britton had tried to get through to Aidan, and hadn’t, had been a devastating blow. It was one thing that she couldn’t get through to the human side of him. She understood Aidan probably wanted nothing to do with her, but his two best friends?

Ever since, Liam had pretty much snarled at her the same way the cougar did, and kept his distance. Britton was another story. Something was off with that man. The tall, black-haired shifter spent almost as much time standing in the room as she did. One moment she’d be alone and the next he’d be beside her, arms crossed tight across his chest, his face a mask of tension, but he never tried to connect with the beast in any shifter manner.

She’d asked him to, once, hoping since Liam had been unable to spur on the change Britton could shift and spend time with Aidan in his animal form, possibly connecting to him in a way only another close shifter could. The fury in his electric-blue eyes had kept her from asking again.

Now they’d run out of options.

Aidan was stuck in animal form. No, he was worse than stuck. He
was
an animal.

And it was all her fault.

“He’s never coming back, Pam. I’m going to have to live with knowing what I did to him for the rest of my life.”

Live with knowing she’d had her mate in her grasp, and had refused them both an eternity of happiness.

…

Liam stood behind the chalk mark with his hands on hips studying his friend, who paced the confines with his teeth bared. Pam had finally convinced Jaylin to leave the room and at least change clothes. Not that the woman was willing to go far. Just down the hall to another room to clean up.

Her constant vigilance over Aidan was starting to annoy the shit out of him.

He wanted to spend some time alone with him too, but she was always in the way, watching, offering suggestions…just pissing him off.

Thank God Trevor had barred her from the experiments after the first day. He didn’t like the effect Jaylin had on the cougar. Not that it was any tamer when it was dealing with anyone else, but it was out of control when she was around. Even with her denied access, she waited outside the door, pacing back and forth, each step making him angrier and angrier. As soon as the men filed out of the room, she marched right back in and sat down on the chair.

Never. Leaving.

He wasn’t sure what motivated her. Guilty conscience, maybe?

She should feel more than guilt. This was all her fault, and the only thing that kept him from saying so was knowing Aidan would’ve killed him for uttering a single harsh word to his precious mate.

The bitch needed some harsh words spoken to her, and he worried that he wouldn’t be able to hold his tongue much longer. Every day that passed, his fury with her grew. It didn’t help that he was just as useless as she was, which only infuriated him more.

He’d tried his damnedest to get his beast to respond, knowing Brit was incapable of doing so. Liam had been their one hope at somehow reaching Aidan on a personal shifter level. And he’d failed. Those animal eyes staring up at him, as if they accused him of being weak on a daily basis, didn’t help either.

He leaned closer. “Are you even in there, aware of what’s going on?”

He didn’t think so. He knew Aidan. His friend would find some way to let them know he was there. But there’d been no sign of a human residing inside the cougar at all. But still Liam searched for it.

He owed Aidan that.

Hell, he owed Aidan his life. More so now than ever.

He
was the reason Aidan had met his downfall. If Liam hadn’t been weak, his friend wouldn’t have called that woman in the first place. Aidan would be fine. Still smiling, relaxed, and happy Aidan. The man he’d worked so hard to become.

Now look at you.

Fucking
Drall
…fucking women. They fucked everything up.

But that wasn’t the worst.

Knowing deep down that he’d still want Aidan to make that phone call anyway was the worst.

Here was his friend—an animal with no way of reaching his human side—and a part of Liam was just thankful that
he
wasn’t sitting in a stupor completely oblivious to everything around him but Ava. What kind of friend did that make him?

A sucky one for sure.

“Come on, man. You’ve got to be in there somewhere.”

A hiss was the cougar’s reply. Liam sighed, then stiffened as he heard
her
footsteps coming up the hall. What’d the bitch give him? Two minutes alone?

He wasn’t leaving this time. He wouldn’t leave anymore because of
her
.

Liam kept his eyes trained on the cougar, refusing to give that woman the time of day. If she wanted to interrupt his time with Aidan, he’d just pretend she didn’t exist. When Jaylin came to stand beside him, the cougar’s ears twitched as another growl vibrated through it.

Liam narrowed his eyes. If he didn’t know better…

He inched closer to Jaylin.

No fucking way.

He couldn’t be imagining it, could he? Wishful thinking?

“Leave the room.”

Jaylin’s head swung toward him. “What…why?”

“Just leave and come back in.”

When she didn’t move, he leaned in her face and said, “Go” real slow and harsh. Her color dropped a couple of shades, but she at least left.

Stubborn-ass woman. If she’d only been that stubborn in actually loving Aidan then none of this would’ve happened.

He turned back to the cougar. Whatever he thought he saw was no longer there. Maybe he had imagined it. He had a ton of reasons to wish he’d seen something.

When he heard her footsteps again, he focused on the animal, paying special attention to its eyes. The cougar’s ears twitched again. And then…

“Fuck. Me,” he breathed. “He’s in there.”