The Awakening (18 page)

I turn around. “Who’s guarding the door?”

“Sticks has it covered.” As Cap rolls to the table, I can’t seem to take my eyes off of his legs. It’s bizarre seeing the shriveled uselessness of them in his wheelchair compared to their sturdy strength in dream world. “Have a seat.”

Link obeys, wearing a Christmas-morning grin that never falters.

Luka, however, is not nearly as eager to oblige. “What’s going on?”

Cap rubs the stubble on his pouched cheek. “Non said you threw a force field on your second attempt.”

“So?”

“So it usually takes several days of intense training before a Shield can do something like that.” Cap clamps his hand over the back of the empty chair beside him and pulls it out. The legs scrape against the floor. Luka still doesn’t sit. “I’d like to know how you did it.”

I hold my breath, waiting for him to share the theory he shared with me while I washed lunch trays. Part of me wants him to share it. Cap witnessed my fighting. Claire owned me in that dojo, which means he can laugh Luka’s theory into its grave and we can all move on. But surprisingly, Luka folds his arms and shrugs. “Beginner’s luck, I guess.”

Cap narrows his eyes, then turns his attention to Link. “You will be taking over part of Tess’s training.”

Luka shifts. “Why?”

“Because Tess is turning out to be quite an anomaly.” Cap takes hold of the chair on his other side and pulls that one out too. “Please have a seat and I’ll fill you in.”

Luka sits. So do I.

“It appears she is both a Fighter and a Linker.”

“And all this time I thought I was unique.” Link shakes his head in mock disappointment.

“What will this training entail?” Luka asks.

“I’m afraid that’s top secret tricks of the linking trade.” Link winks at me so quickly, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who sees it. “It’ll be fun.”

Luka’s green eyes flash. Somehow, I don’t think he agrees.

Cap folds his hands on top of the plastic table. “Gabe, I’d like you to take over Luka’s training.”

Wait—what?
My attention darts to Gabe, who doesn’t even twitch at the news. “Why would he take over Luka’s training?”

“Because Gabe is a Keeper.” The words are like a glass of cold water to the face. Gabe is a Keeper?

“And since Luka is your Keeper, he’s the best man for the job.”

“You
know
?” How is that possible? Luka and I haven’t said a word about his dreams.

“I had my suspicions when the pair of you arrived. They grew when Non told me about Luka’s first training session. They grew again when I witnessed your training firsthand.”

“But you saw me spar Claire.” Cap’s growing suspicion makes about as much sense as sending little Rosie out on the streets of Detroit by herself. Claire came away from that match with nothing but a grazed chin. And what did I get? A bloody nose, a full body slam, and more knees and kicks to the ribs than I care to admit. “I was weak, not powerful.”

Cap sets his hands on the wheels of his chair, his silvery blue stare so invasive it’s as though he’s cutting me open and looking inside. Seeing for himself what I’m really made of. “My first lesson to you is this. When it comes to what’s true, how we feel matters very little.”

His lesson leaves me squinting, and not because I’m attempting to see better either.
How we feel matters very little?
What does that have to do with anything that’s happening right now?

Luka shakes his head slowly. “So that’s all it was—a suspicion?”

“Until Tess confirmed it several seconds ago, yes.”

Dirty trick. Dirty, dirty trick.

Cap claimed to know something, but really, he was bluffing. If I would have reacted differently, if I would have said anything other than
you know
, nothing would have been confirmed. Cap would be none the wiser.

I look down into my lap, hating the implications. Everyone here seems to think that only the most powerful Fighters have Keepers and that Luka is my Keeper. But what if I’m the exception? Cap said so himself—I’m an anomaly. What if the reason I have a Keeper isn’t because I’m incredibly strong, but because I’m exceptionally weak?

“I know this is not what you had in mind.” Cap speaks the soft words to Gabe. “I hope you understand why it’s necessary.”

Gabe gives Cap an emotionless nod, and that’s that. He’s going to train Luka. As I look into his dull eyes, an incongruity surfaces. One that demands to be voiced. “If you’re a Keeper, where is your
anima
?”

For the first time since I’ve met Gabe’s acquaintance, something in his expression flickers, so fast I almost don’t recognize it for what it is—pain. A deep, dark, inescapable anguish that leaves his eyes more lifeless than before.

It’s all the answer I need.

Gabe’s
anima
is dead.

*

I stare morosely at my tray—instant mashed potatoes, steamed corn, and two slices of what I suspect to be canned ham. Yum. When the impromptu meeting ended, Luka asked to speak with Cap privately. I wanted to stay too. Whatever he had to say to Cap, I should be able to hear. But Luka didn’t invite me, and Gabe ushered me out of the room like a troublesome delinquent. So now I’m here in the cafeteria all by myself, the object of curiosity.

They all must know I’m a Linker. Surely Jose or Claire told everyone already. This place is like a condensed version of high school and we all know how fast word travels there. How long before they all find out that Luka is my Keeper? I stab a piece of ham and twist it into my potatoes. I hate that Luka didn’t include me in his conversation with Cap. I hate that even here, in this place, I am Tess the Freak once again. The weight of it all perches on my shoulders like a heavy bird with sharp talons that doesn’t release its grip, not even when a chair scoots out beside me.

I look up to find Link.

“You’re really dragging down the mood in here.”

He’s teasing. I know this. But still, I have to bite back a sarcastic apology.

He sits down and sets his elbows on the table. “This is cause for celebration, not mourning. You’re a Linker
and
a Fighter. Not only that, you have a—”

“Shhh!” My sharp hiss has him drawing back his chin. “I’m sorry, but I’d rather that not become common knowledge on top of everything else.”

“Why not?”

“Because, everybody will have expectations.” And I will do nothing but fail to meet them. A sudden and unexpected lump rises in my throat. Why couldn’t I just be a Fighter—a regular, ordinary Fighter with no Keeper and no other anomalistic abilities? And why does the one Keeper we know have to have a dead
anima
? If Luka was obsessed with my safety before, he’ll only be more so now. A tear gathers and tumbles. I drag my forearm across my cheek.

Link’s excitement softens into concern. “Hey. You okay?”

Great. So now I’m not just a freak, I’m a blubbering freak. I shake my head, an attempt to downplay my embarrassing meltdown. “I’m fine. Really. I—I’m just sick of being cooped up. I want to see the sun.” It may not be the reason for my tears, but it’s no less true. I’d give anything to be outside, surrounded by the towering redwoods of Northern California or the lush palm trees of Florida. Even the frozen, danger-strewn landscape of Detroit sounds appealing right about now. “I miss being outside.”

Link twists his lips to the side for a moment, then scoops up my tray and stands.

“What are you doing?”

“Come with me.” Without any more explanation than that, he sets my plate of mostly uneaten food in front of Rosie, who brightens with gratitude. I catch a glimpse of Claire. Her animosity has reached a whole new level. Too curious to care, I follow Link out of the cafeteria.

He leads us down the main corridor, then turns down the hallway that belongs to the adults. The very one we left behind not more than half an hour ago. Maybe he means to eavesdrop on whatever Cap and Luka are still talking about in the supply-closet-turned-conference room. “Uh Link? Where are we going?”

He stops in front of a door. “Close your eyes.”

“What?”

“Come on, Xena. If I’m going to be training you, you will need to trust me.”

Letting out a sigh, I do as requested.

The door unlatches. Hinges squeak.

Link takes my hand and pulls me inside. The warmth on my skin has my eyelids fluttering open before Link gives me permission to look. If he’s mad that I cheated, he sure doesn’t look it. In fact, he’s wearing that Christmas-morning grin again. So am I.

Flowers, vegetables, fruits, and lush green plants grow up from pots and planters. It smells like earth and grass. The bright lights are as warm as the sun with strategically placed mirrors to maximize the brightness. The humidity in the air reminds me not of Thornsdale, but Jude. “What is this place?”

“The hub’s very own underground greenhouse. Anna and Fray are in charge of it. Non says the light and the warmth offer them some much needed fortitude.”

I step in further and turn a slow three-sixty. “It’s amazing.”

Link leads us toward the back, where the vegetation is thickest. He lies beneath an unidentified bush with palm fronds for leaves and pats the floor beside him—unspoken code for
join me
.

There’s a moment of self-conscious hesitation, barely longer than a heartbeat. The temptation is too strong to resist. I lay beside him on my back, staring up at the light as it dapples through green leaves.

Link folds his hands behind his head and gives my shoe a tap with his. “It’s almost like you’re outside, huh?”

The gesture wiggles its way inside my heart, pushing aside all the junk, warming me straight through. In this moment, right here, I’m no longer scared or confused or tired or homesick. I’m lying outside in the woods beside my really thoughtful, new friend. “Thanks.”

“You bet.”

As we lay in the silence, I do not let myself entertain questions about Gabe or his
anima
. I do not let myself think about letting everyone down when they discover I’m not as powerful as I should be. I do not think about Luka and whatever he had to say in private to Cap. I force all negative thoughts out, unwilling to ruin this moment.

“You can go outside anytime you want, you know.”

“How’s that possible? Gabe’s always guarding the door.”

“It’s one of the great perks of being like me. You can go anywhere you want to in your dreams. You can dream anything you want to dream. You’re the one in control.”

More often than not, my dreams control me, pulling me into places I don’t want to go. Link’s version sounds wonderful, yet unattainable. “How is that possible?”

“How do you dream hop?”

“I don’t know, I thought you were going to tell me that.”

“C’mon, you know. You know even if you don’t know you know. When you visit Luka in your dreams, how do you do it?”

I squish my face up, trying to recall. Luka figured it out before I did. “I think about him before I go to sleep.” As soon as the confession escapes, warmth pools inside my cheeks. It feels too intimate to share with Link—that I think about Luka in bed at night. But it’s true. And a glimmer of hope breaks through my sour mood. Does this mean I can visit my mom whenever I want? My dad and Pete and Leela, too? Is it really so simple as thinking about them before bed?

“Same principle applies. If you want to dream that you’re outside, go to sleep thinking about being outside and you’ll wake up outside. You can even create a tropical island for yourself if you want.”

It sounds too good to be true. Like my own personal bedtime heaven. Can dreams really be pleasant, highly anticipated things? “Really?”

“Really and truly. You may be cooped up when you’re awake, but you don’t have to be cooped up at night.”

I turn my head. “Is this a training session right now?”

“Nah, you’ll know when you’re being trained. I’m more of a teach-by-example kinda guy. In fact, I was thinking we’d have our first training session tonight.”

“Tonight?”

“I’ll find you while we sleep.”

“Oh.”

Link gives me a friendly nudge. “No reason to look worried, Xena. I promise it’ll be fun.”

Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

I
toss and turn in bed, wishing there were an on-off switch in my brain so I could turn off my thoughts and go to sleep. I’m quite positive Luka will hate this idea—me and Link sharing dreams. But then, in theory, if Link thinks about me before bed—a thought that makes my stomach kind of fluttery—he’ll be in my dream whether I want him to be or not. It hits me, suddenly, how much freedom a Linker has. Dreams are often very personal things and here we have the ability to barge in on any we like. What if I end up on the beach with Luka and Link shows up? The very idea twists my muscles into knots.

I must not think about Luka. Must, must,
must
not think about him. I flip over on the mattress and force every ounce of mental energy I have on my family. The last time I saw my brother, he was in a hospital room. How’s he doing now? Last I heard from Leela, my father’s job was on the line. Is it still? Anytime Luka creeps into the crevices of my mind, I push him out and focus all the harder.