The Baby Bond (21 page)

A weight seemed to lift from his shoulders.

“Thanks, Dad. Mom.” He bit into the buttery cookie and savored the semisweet chocolate on his tongue, but savored more the knowledge that his family was behind him. “You always know what to say.”

“What about your relationship with Cassidy?”

His mother’s gentle question plummeted him back into the depths of despair.

“Unless I leave the fire department, there is no relationship.”

“Your career is your calling. Turning your back on your life’s work is not the answer to Cassidy’s problem.” Rosalie reached for the coffeepot, but Leo beat her to it. “Does she love you?”

“I thought so. Apparently not enough.”

“I saw her looking at you the way Mama looks at me.” Pouring more coffee into each cup, Leo winked at Rosalie, who winked back. “She loves you. But fear rules her life.”

“She has reason to be afraid, Dad.” He’d told them about the tragedy in the Philippines. “She was buried alive, her parents dead, smoke circling like a vulture. Now her sister’s dead.”

Rosalie spooned creamer into her cup and stirred but didn’t drink. “These are all tragic circumstances, but the Lord never intended any of us to be a slave to fear.”

“There’s nothing I can do to change her mind, Mom. The decision is hers.”

His mother got a look on her face that he’d seen dozens of times. He and his siblings called it the mother tiger look—protective, determined and full of fierce love.

“There
is
something we can do.” She extended an upturned palm to each side, capturing his hand and his father’s. “Let’s pray.”

N
ic drove around for a while after leaving his parents’ house. Sometimes he prayed. Sometimes he just drove and thought about what a great family he had. He was blessed beyond anything he deserved. Thankfully he’d wised up.

He’d wised up about a couple of other things, too. If he loved Cassidy the way his dad loved his mother, he wouldn’t sit around moping. He would take action.

But his ego still smarted from her rejection. If she loved him, she’d try harder to overcome her fears.

The dilemma warred inside him like two gladiators, each as strong as the other.

The night was warm and humid. He kicked on the AC and then the CD player. Worship music flowed out.

The CD was Cassidy’s. She must have forgotten it the night of the race.

Considering the CD as good an excuse as any, he turned his truck toward the apartment complex where he parked in a no-parking zone directly beneath the steps leading to Cassidy’s apartment.

From his own home came the sounds of the party in prog
ress. In the shadowy darkness, he made a wry face. His friends hadn’t even missed him. He rubbed his chest with the flat of his hand. Today was an ego-crushing day and the ego at risk was his.

He took the CD, jogged up the steps and pounded on Cassidy’s door. From inside he heard the television playing. Someone laughed. She was having a good time without him. His ego took another nosedive. Here he was moping and she wasn’t.

Nic fidgeted, waiting only a few seconds before pounding again. If she didn’t open the door quick, he might chicken out.

The door swung open. Backlit by pale lamplight, Cassidy looked as pretty as an angel, her hair glowing gold. Nic swallowed, more nervous than he could remember.

“Hey,” he said.

“Nic.”

“You forgot this.” He held out the CD.

She took it. “Thanks.”

He was hoping she’d invite him in. She didn’t.

Okay, why had he come up here? To make a fool of himself?

“I thought you might want it back.”

“I appreciate it.”

“The music’s good.”

“I like it.”

Talk about a sparkling conversation. This was not one.

Behind her, voices murmured. Nic’s defenses rose. Was she with another guy?

A female voice called, “Cassidy, who’s out there?”

His shoulders relaxed the tiniest bit.

Cassidy called over her shoulder. “It’s Nic.”

As she turned her head, the light illuminated her face. Nic saw what he hadn’t seen in the shadow. Puffy, swollen eyes were redder than her nose. She’d been crying.

His heart dropped to the toes of his Nikes. Okay, that was it. No crying on his shift.

He grabbed her hand. “We need to talk. Let’s take a drive.”

She shook her head, pulling away. Pale hair swished softly against the shoulders of a shiny blue blouse. “I can’t. I have company.”

At that moment, two teenage girls appeared at her side. He recognized them from her Bible Study.

“We’re not company,” one of them said, eyeing Nic with interest. “Go.”

Apparently, they’d overheard his invitation.

Still Cassidy hesitated, but something in the way she looked at him said she wanted to go.

“Come on, Cass. Just for a while. We need to talk.”

“Talking won’t do any good, Nic. Besides Alex is already in bed for the night.”

Nic’s hopes fell.

One of the girls gave Cassidy’s back a little push. “Go on, Cassidy. Katie and I will watch Alex.”

Nic held his breath while the love of his life teetered on the edge. Finally, when he was at the point of light-headedness, she capitulated.

Though her expression was grim and hopeless, she said, “Let me get my shoes.”

Cassidy sat against the passenger door wondering why she’d agreed to this ride with Nic. Being this close to him again was nothing but torture.

“Aren’t you missing your own party?” The question was almost an accusation. She’d seen the trail of people roaming in and out of the parking lot and heard the gaiety from below. The notion that he could throw a party only hours after their
breakup hurt. For all his declarations of caring for her, the party spoke volumes about his sincerity.

He made a smooth turn onto the main highway. “I missed what wasn’t there.”

“Meaning what? Mandy or Brandy or Candy didn’t show up?” She sounded every bit like a jealous woman. She shouldn’t have come with him tonight, not while she was still so emotional. She was the one who couldn’t move forward. She was the one who was stuck in fear. Why should she be upset if Nic wanted to move on with his life as soon as possible?

Because she loved him, that was why.

As they pulled into heavier traffic, he glanced her way. The dash lights cast him in gray shadow with only the focal points of his bone structure clear. Except for the dark coal of vividly alive eyes, he was like a sculpture, perfectly cast.

He never bothered to counter her foolish questions. Instead his words touched her to the core. “You’ve been crying.”

She crossed her arms against a rush of longing to be in his arms again. “Is that what you wanted to talk about?”

“I want to discuss anything that makes you unhappy.”

“Don’t do this, Nic. Caring about each other is not enough. I know you care for me and Alex.” Her voice choked. “We care for you, too.”

“What about love? Is love enough?”

Was he saying he loved her? Even if he did, what good was it under the circumstances?

She closed her eyes against the rush of hopelessness. “Love can’t enter into the equation. In some weird way, I feel that if I don’t love you, I’m protecting you. People I love die.”

“That’s not rational, sweetheart.” The baritone was gentle, but she heard his frustration. “You have to know that.”

“Of course I know,” she moaned, desperate for him to understand. This was for his good as well as her own. “But I can’t help my feelings. Wonderful people I love die. That’s a fact. You work in a dangerous profession. Your life is in jeopardy every time you go to work. I can’t live with that kind of worry, Nic. I can’t.”

He was silent for a few seconds, attention focused on the road and traffic. An eighteen-wheeler passed, lights bright and blinding. Nic’s truck wobbled in the powerful wake.

A sigh as soft as Alex’s breath escaped him. Cassidy felt his heaviness and ached for all the things she couldn’t change.

“We’re praying for you,” he said quietly. “That’s the main thing I wanted to tell you. Mom, Dad, me. I went to their house tonight. We prayed together. We’ll keep praying.”

The revelation moved her to tears.

Cassidy pressed a hand to her forehead. What was wrong with her? She had faith for so many things. Why couldn’t she have faith to conquer this?

Somewhere she’d heard that fear was the opposite of faith. The statement had hurt her terribly. She wanted to have more faith. She just didn’t know how to get it.

“Take me home, Nic. This is only making things worse.”

By now, they’d driven to the outskirts of town where the traffic thinned and a few stars could be seen above the city lights. Nic’s shoulders slumped and she knew she’d hurt him yet again. She hated herself and wished a thousand times she’d followed her instincts the first time they’d met and stayed away.

But this man wasn’t the Notorious Nic she’d wanted to avoid. This man was solid and strong and caring, and far more dangerous to her heart.

Without argument, Nic hit the signal light and turned, taking the side streets back to the apartment.

They’d driven several blocks, through one quiet neighbor
hood and into another when a frighteningly familiar scent invaded Cassidy’s nostrils.

“Nic.”

He glanced her way, eyes wary. “Yeah?”

“Do you smell that?” The blood began to pound in her temples. “It’s smoke, Nic. I smell smoke.”

The words were barely out of her mouth when Nic slammed on the brakes.

“There,” he said. “That house.”

The dash lights reflected off Nic’s face, painting him yellow and red—the colors of fire. Slowly, she turned her head, mesmerized by the smoke billowing from one side of a sprawling brick house.

“Call 9-1-1.” He popped the latch on his seat belt, reaching for the door handle at the same time.

Cassidy grabbed his arm. “What are you doing?”

“There may be people inside.”

The knowledge of what he was about to do slammed into her with the force of a freight train. Rising panic clogged her lungs.

“No!” The scream was ripped from somewhere deep inside. She clawed at him. “You can’t.”

He placed a hand over hers, a light touch of reassurance.

Gently but firmly, he said, “I have to be sure no one is in there. Don’t worry. It’s only smoke.”

She was not reassured. Flames could burst forth at any moment.

Frantically, she clung, desperate to hold him back. “No. I won’t let you. Something bad will happen.”

In a rush now, he peeled her fingers away. “What if that was Alex in there?”

What could she say to that? Stricken and terrified, her hands fell uselessly to her sides. Nic slid from the truck, his mind already leaving her behind as he focused on the burning house.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid,” she begged. “Promise me.”

He had already moved a step away but he came back, shot her a cocky grin and saluted. “My middle name is careful. Now, call 9-1-1 and get me some help.” He started to shut the door but leaned back in. “I love you.”

Then he was gone, running full tilt toward the inferno.

With shaking fingers, Cassidy punched in the numbers, reported the blaze and then turned to press her face against the side window, hoping and praying to see Nic return.

The fire was young but growing. An eerie golden glow shone through a window on one side of the house.

She saw Nic running around the structure, pounding on windows and doors, his voice raised in alarm. He disappeared around back and then reappeared on the front porch, pounding and yelling. To her horror, he shouldered the front door open and disappeared inside. Smoke gushed out like fog beneath the streetlights.

To hold back the cries of despair, Cassidy’s hands pressed against her mouth.

“Oh, God in Heaven,” she begged. “Protect him.”

A litany of prayers pouring from her lips and heart, she rolled down the passenger window and coughed when smoke seeped across the lawn and into her lungs. How much worse must conditions be for Nic inside the house? She shuddered and turned to stare down the street, but all she saw were darkened homes and a few cars moving parallel to the quiet neighborhood.

Where was that fire engine? Why weren’t they here?

Most importantly, where was Nic?

Mouth dry as sandpaper, she watched in terror as the blaze grew in power, like a beast fueled by all it devoured. A windowpane popped. Glass shattered.

Cassidy gripped the door handle.

In the next moment, she was standing on the grass, outside the truck, the stench of smoke thick and acrid.

Nic was in there. Her Nic.

Suddenly, one side of the roof leaned. A crash echoed across the yard.

Cassidy jerked, her horrified gasp the only human sound in the empty, lonely darkness. A terrible certainty washed over her in waves that left her shaking. If the roof had caved, Nic could be trapped.

In her memory, she was transported back to two unspeakable days beneath bricks and dirt, waiting for the unseen flames to claim her. Dear Lord, please don’t let that happen to Nic. Please don’t take him, too.

The fire spread, glowing in several windows now, but the man she loved did not return. What if the blaze had already overtaken him?

“No!” she screamed. Galvanizing anger ripped through her. With strength she didn’t know she possessed, Cassidy’s wobbly legs began to churn. They propelled her across the grass and toward the inferno. She would not let Nic die. She would not let fire steal someone else she loved.

Her feet hit the porch and thick smoke boiled as she charged through the door. A wall of heat slammed into her, scorching her lungs, sucking away her air.

In the distant night, sirens screamed, too far away. They wouldn’t get here in time. She was the only one available to help Nic. She was the only one who could save him from the monster.

Please help me, Lord. Help me be brave. Help me find him.

Dozens of half-memorized scriptures flowed into her smoke-fogged mind. She grasped onto each one as if holding on to sanity.