The Bad Boy's Baby (Hope Springs) (18 page)

Chapter Twenty-Six

Emma placed her picnic basket on the table behind the number Patsy Higgins had assigned to her. She twisted it so that the prettier side showed, momentarily disregarding the fact that she was fairly against this whole bid-on-a-woman’s-baking-skills thing. Since Zoey had helped her pick it out late last night, when her procrastination had reached the critical, out-of-time stage, it was pink. In a sea of standard white and brown baskets and a lot of red-checked material, the color and tulle lining definitely stood out—it looked like several ballerinas had lost their clothes to make it possible.

Her already frazzled nerves frayed more as she glanced out at the line of chairs taking shape in front of the podium that’d been brought in. On top of not wanting to basically be an item for bid, Emma was also sure there wouldn’t be a whole lot of interest in her basket, and then she’d get to experience humiliation on top of everything else, which her self-esteem could hardly handle right now.

It’s for a good cause, it’s for a good cause.
Despite her best attempts to stop them, her eyes searched the faces of the people who were scurrying about the property, hoping to find one in particular. It made no sense after their ugly confrontation, but she’d had some time to think, and while Cam shouldn’t have jumped all over her like that, she imagined finding out about her job offer the way he did would’ve made anyone lose their temper.

He still should’ve let her explain. Even if he didn’t want her, they had a child together, and that meant talking out big decisions, whether he liked it or not.

That’s why I’m looking for him. So we can have the big talk. Not because I miss his face and his voice, and the way he made me feel more adventurous and fun…sexier…

Her brain choosing to focus on all the things she missed about him when he clearly didn’t want her the way she wanted him was a new form of torture.

Stop it, brain. We need to focus on the here and now.
Get through setting up for the event, go on a date with—if she had any luck—a nice guy who would understand this was all a coerced, archaic ritual that in no way would equal a real date, and then go home and sign the contract so she didn’t throw away an amazing opportunity for nothing.

While she still felt she owed it to Cam to have a conversation about the job
before
she signed the papers, she also felt that if she waited much longer, Pete might take offense and withdraw it. Cam was the one who’d decided to flee and hide instead of deal, which wasn’t an option for her, even though she could certainly understand the allure.

She understood it even more as Patsy Higgins strode toward her, arms swinging in that way they did when she was on a mission.

Luckily she strode past her, another target in her sights. Emma noticed Quinn in the middle of the melee and headed over to her. The property looked amazing, every cabin complete, the landscaping flawlessly done with a lot of touches of bright flowers. Since Emma hadn’t been able to do everything she’d wanted to help with during her few days off, she’d shown up extra early this morning.

As soon as she reached Quinn, she said, “Put me to work.”

They set up a couple more rows of chairs, and Emma mentioned how impressed she was by the property.

Quinn held her hair up in a makeshift ponytail and fanned her face and neck. “Thanks. Hopefully the state of the property will make up for the fact that my basket looks completely pathetic.”

“You’re lucky that you’ve got a sure bet bidding on you,” Emma said.

Quinn dropped her hold on her hair, frowned at a chair, and wiggled it an entire centimeter to the right. “Yeah. Although Heath made a joke about how this might be his last chance to eat another woman’s cooking, so I made a joke about how he could cook his own meals from now on, and I think we’ve reached a compromise.”

“The compromise being that he’s bidding on your basket?”

“You guessed it.”

Emma laughed. Quinn’s version of compromise was different than the actual definition. What it usually meant was that she tried to sway Heath to her side, and when she couldn’t—like when it came to decisions on decorations or furnishings for the cabins—she ordered what she wanted anyway and told him he could choose all the camping gear and vehicles. Emma loved how easily Heath always went along with it.

Why’d I have to go and pick the stubborn brother?

Quinn craned her neck and looked around. “I’ve got to make sure to give Heath a signal when my basket comes up, because even though I showed him last night, they all look similar, and I want to make sure he knows it’s mine.” Her eyebrows lowered as she continued to scan the area. “Have you seen him?”

“No,” Emma said. When she glanced around to see if she could help Quinn locate Heath—and definitely not so she could check and see if Cam was with him—Pete caught her eye and waved.

She nodded and attempted a smile. For some reason, she hadn’t expected him to be here, and the fact that he was made her think that she needed to give him her decision before she left the property.

All signs were pointing to her not having a good enough reason to stay in Hope Springs, and the sooner she wrapped her head around it, the better.

…

Cam slowed at the sound of the motorcycle engine, and a moment later his brother came though the thicket of trees, the loud buzz growing louder as he neared.

Heath killed the engine, set the kickstand, and then climbed off the bike and hung his helmet on one of the handles. “Most of the town is headed toward our property right now, and I have to spend my time searching for your ass. We’re supposed to be in this together, you know.”

Cam readjusted the straps of his backpack, shifting them so they’d cut into his shoulders a few inches over from where they’d already rubbed against his skin for a good hour. “Yeah, well, I’m going through something.”

Heath crossed his arms. “What? Screwing up your life? Well, I hate to interrupt, but I thought maybe you should…” He blew out his breath. “Oh, I don’t know. Unscrew it up before it ruins everything, including our business.”

“How long have you been working on that pep talk?”

“For a couple of days, and that’s the nice version. But I’m not done.” Heath took a few steps closer. “You had everything—I’ve never seen you so happy. Then you threw it all away. For what?”

Cam’s gaze drifted to the meadow he’d been headed for—the trail diverged there, and he hadn’t quite decided which way to take yet. “I lost my temper. I said things…awful things I’m not proud of. Which just proves that I was right to be worried about my anger issues. I have them, just like Dad does—it’s always been one of my biggest fears, and while I thought maybe it was just the military bringing it out more, clearly it goes deeper than that. Before long I’ll push everyone away, and I’ll hurt them in the process. I’d rather push them away
before
it causes permanent damage.”

“Then what?” Heath asked. “Hope that twenty or thirty years from now you’ll get it together? Why don’t you learn from Dad’s mistakes instead of repeating them?”

“I liked the army, Heath. When the bad guys needed taken out, I volunteered. Who does that?”

“A guy who protects people.” Heath closed the remaining distance between them, walking right up to him so he couldn’t look past him anymore. “You think you’ve got anger issues, but you’ve got trust issues, and you’ve got a hero complex. You’re a protector, Cam. You took the brunt of Dad’s anger growing up so that I didn’t have to.”

Cam swallowed, hard. “You still got too much of it.”

“He didn’t hit me the way he hit you.” Heath jabbed a finger at Cam’s chest. “And it was you who made sure of that.”

“He still hit you.”

“Once or twice, and mostly when I was older. When I could take it better. How often did he hit you? Once a month at least—sometimes more.”

Cam dropped his gaze, staring at the toes of his hiking boots. “I’m fine.”

“You pushed away a woman who cares about you, one I can tell you care about, too. You’re not fine.”

This was way mushier than their usual talks, and Cam didn’t think he could handle much more.

“You know who kicked my butt into gear when I nearly lost Quinn?” Heath didn’t answer his own question until Cam glanced up at him. “Dad. Yeah. It took him telling me about his life of regrets. He’d probably tell you, too, if you let him. Forgiveness is earned.”

“I’m not sure I’m ready to forgive and forget. I haven’t seen much earning.”

“I’m saying
you
need to earn it. Prove that you’re not like him. Don’t wait until you’ve lost Emma. Till your daughter resents you because you weren’t there.”

The fight leaked out of him, and without it, he felt lost and hollow once again. “What am I supposed to do? Ask her to give up her dream job?”

“You at least need to tell her how you really feel. I know, I know, that’s not Brantley men’s strength by a long shot. We don’t talk about feelings, and we pretend we don’t have any. It’s a good way to keep people away. Not a great way to keep the people we need most.”

“What if working it out means I have to move to Salt Lake, too?” He’d been holding it back, trying not to think about what he’d have to do, telling himself that Emma was better off without him. But he knew that if he really wanted a shot with her, it might take that. Leaving behind everything he’d finally gotten his hands on.

And that doubtful, nagging voice in the back of his brain asked what if he lost everything and then she still decided that he wasn’t who she wanted? Where would he be then?

“Then we’ll manage,” Heath said. “We might need a few months to find another qualified guide, but I’d rather see you happy than anything else. But I’ll also say that Quinn and I talked, and we might have an idea to keep Emma here… I think it might work, but of course that’s up to Emma, and if you don’t fix things, we’ve got no shot at talking her into it…”

Heath quickly outlined his and Quinn’s idea, and while Cam was afraid to hope, a spark of it caught and whispered that maybe he could have everything he wanted.

There was one person responsible for his fate, for controlling his temper, for making sure he was good enough for Emma and Zoey, and that was himself. He might not be able to offer her a fancy job title with a big salary, but he could help provide a good home for her and for Zoey, one where they could laugh and enjoy days living next to one of the most beautiful places on earth. He could promise that he’d do whatever it took to protect his family, because he’d die before he let anyone hurt his girls.

And he could offer Emma his heart, because it was all he truly had, and it already belonged to her anyway.

“So?” Heath arched an eyebrow. “Are you ready to pull your head out? Or do I need to keep spouting off more inspirational lines? Because I’ve been writing songs for Dixie Rush’s next album and I’ve got sappy lines to spare.”

Cam laughed, and after days without feeling even an ounce of joy, he wanted to hold on to the happiness and the hope slowly working their way through him. “Save something for the album, man.” He glanced at his wrist out of habit, only to remember that he’d purposely left his watch, thinking that the lack of watching time go by would make it pass by easier.

It hadn’t.

“What time is it?”

Heath took his phone out of his pocket. “Eleven forty—so about ten minutes past the time when Quinn threatened to kill me if I hadn’t made it back to Mountain Ridge yet.”

Eleven forty?
That didn’t give him much time to get back to the property and pull together everything he needed to.

But it was time to take his fighting skills and use them in a healthier way.

He just hoped it wouldn’t be too late…

Chapter Twenty-Seven

The first auction ended, and Brianna and Dusty Brooks, who were engaged and set to be married in a couple of months, walked away arm in arm.

In fact, Emma was noticing that the majority of women involved in the picnic basket auction were already engaged. Meaning that if she did stay in Hope Springs, next year she’d be about the only single woman under the age of forty left.

Another point for moving, I guess
, she thought as she shifted in her seat, but it only sent a pang of sadness through her.

Grandma Bev came over and bumped her hip into Emma. “Scooch down,” she said, and so Emma and Quinn moved down a couple seats to make room.

“Which basket is yours?” Emma asked.

“The empty one with the big red flashy bow on top.” Grandma pointed.

“It’s empty?”

“There’s no food, anyway. Just a paperback book and a bottle of wine. ’Cause if a guy bids on me, he should know that that’s what I’ll be making him for dinner every night. Nothing.”

Emma and Quinn laughed, and Emma said, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Vera Mae’s going to bid on it, actually. Since she’s moving in, we figured we’d make people wonder about us. Stir up a little controversy, you know.”

Emma shook her head, and Quinn asked if she could adopt her.

Caroline Dixon’s basket was next—although no one was supposed to know whose basket was whose, Emma had seen her placing it on the table. Not to mention most everyone in town knew already. It helped people in the same age range bid on the basket, so the dates were only semiweird instead of super-duper weird.

As the bidding started, Grandma Bev patted Emma’s leg. “How you holding up?”

She put on the best smile she could. Last night she’d finally broken down, gone over to Grandma Bev’s house, and told her everything. She’d been so sure she’d only hear
I told you so
, but she’d simply told Emma that if Cam didn’t want her, he was an idiot, then she’d made peach cobbler, and they’d eaten it with ice cream while Zoey played.

“What I should’ve said to you last night was…”

Emma braced herself.

“That I think maybe I pushed you a little too hard, because I didn’t want you to have regrets and for you to waste that big, beautiful brain of yours. But you’re smart, and funny, and beautiful, and you’re raising a smart, beautiful daughter. What matters is that you’re happy wherever you are. And also, I’ll come visit if you move, so you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon.”

Emma gave her grandma a side hug, resting her head on her shoulder for a moment. “Thanks, Grandma.”

The nice widower who owned the feed store was declared the winner with a thirty-dollar bid, and while Ms. Dixon was clearly nervous, she smiled shyly at him, and they headed toward the tree line. Not arm in arm, but Emma thought she still noticed a spark.

Sadie’s basket was next, and Cory and Royce had a bidding war that was more friendly competition and driving the price up than a real fight for Sadie—the three of them and Quinn had been really close in high school, always going everywhere together. In fact, Quinn had once said that if Cory wasn’t too scared to settle down, she could almost see him and Emma together.

Speaking of Quinn, she was texting and checking her phone constantly.

“Everything okay?” Emma asked.

Quinn dropped her phone quickly—almost as if she were hiding it—and then she smiled. “Yeah. It’s fine. Just checking on Heath.”

Something weird was definitely going on, but right as Emma was about to call Quinn on it, Patsy Higgins lifted her pink basket in the air.

“Let’s start the bidding at five dollars,” Patsy Higgins said.

Pete lifted his hand.

Forrest Scott, the guy who ran the parts store, bid him up by five dollars—she wouldn’t have a clue what to talk about with the guy, and while he might’ve matured since high school, her brain still held the image of the cocky jock who thought he was cooler than everyone else.

“Oh, no, not that kid,” Grandma said. “He’s dumber than a sack of bricks.”

Luckily the noise of the auction was loud enough to cover Grandma’s commentary—Emma certainly hoped so, anyway.

Pete raised the bid to fifteen, then he turned and flashed her a big smile.

Crap.
She’d insisted to Cam that nothing was going on, but Pete
had
asked her out, and even though he’d claimed his offer was purely professional, now she wondered if there was more to the job offer than a job. With everything that had happened with Cam, she was far from ready to even consider another relationship. Not to mention it’d probably make working together weird.

Maybe in time… She tried to imagine it, because the thought of never dating again was depressing, but the image of her and Pete simply didn’t fit.

Keith, one of the guys on her crew, bid next, and then Pete upped him.

Well, they could talk about how nicely Mountain Ridge turned out, discuss options for the resort in Park City, and at least it shouldn’t be too horribly awkward. As long as he didn’t expect more.

Either way, she’d done her part to raise money for the town, and that was something to be proud of.

“Twenty-five dollars. Going once…going twice…”

“One hundred dollars.”

The entire audience spun as one. Cam stood in the back, a resolute look on his face. Her gaze met his and held. Every cell in her body pricked up, and her pulse throbbed behind her temples, each beat faster and harder than the next. Moving on hadn’t seemed possible a few moments ago, but with Cam physically here, his presence causing that oxygen-stealing sensation it always did, she knew there was no fully moving on from a guy like him.

“Maybe he’s not as stupid as I thought,” Grandma said, elbowing Emma in the side.

Pete bid $110, and the muscles in Cam’s jaw tightened. Emma scooted to the edge of her chair. This was ridiculous. Neither of them should be throwing money away like this. Cam’s eyes remained on hers as he said, “Two hundred dollars.”

A combination of gasps and loudly whispered, “Did he say two hundred?” went through the crowd.

“Here’s the thing,” Cam said loudly as he strode up the aisle. “I behaved like a jackass the other night, and I intend to make it up to Emma. So I’m eating whatever’s in that basket, even if it’s disgusting, or if it gives me food poisoning…”

Patsy’s mouth dropped, her expression making it clear even the implication offended her, and in spite of the surreal situation, Emma laughed. Cam flashed her a smile, and her heart fluttered, slowly coming to life after days of dormancy.

“Not that, uh, Emma would intentionally make bad food,” Cam said. He cleared his throat. “But like I said, I’m going to be leaving here with Emma and that basket, whatever it takes.” His gaze flicked to Pete, and Emma could see how hard he worked to keep his expression civil. “So I suggest you back down now. Because I won’t.
Ever.
”

Goose bumps swept across Emma’s skin, and Quinn grasped her hand. “It looks like I’m not the only one with the sure bet today.”

Emma was afraid to read too much into it all. This was just his way of apologizing. It didn’t fix everything, and it certainly wasn’t the same as declaring he wanted her.

He looked dang good, though, his rolled-up flannel shirtsleeves showing off muscular, tattoo-covered forearms, his unshaven face wild in a way that made her want to be a little wild, too.

“Two hundred dollars,” Patsy Higgins said, and the entire crowd seemed to be holding its breath. “Going once…going twice…” The gavel banged against the podium, and Emma was officially Cam’s.

Er, her basket and company were his. For the next hour or so.

Cam strolled up to the front, grabbed the pink basket that clashed with his rugged mountain man look, then strode back down the aisle, a man on a mission. When he reached her, he extended his hand across Grandma, to her.

“Emma, I know this is a long way from making anything up to you, but if you’ll hear me out, this is just the beginning of my apology. I’d rather not have to make the rest of it with the entire town watching, but I will if it comes to that. So? What do you say?”

With him so close, her fingers twitched, longing to reach out and touch him. The vulnerability swimming in his eyes nearly undid her, too—as if he wasn’t sure she’d come along. The truth was, she’d walk to the ends of the earth with him as long as he stayed by her side.

“If you’re not going, I will,” Grandma said, tilting her head toward Cam in a clear
go already
gesture. “Although I also wouldn’t mind hearing the apology.”

“Emma’s grandma, I presume?”

“Beverly Harris. You and I are going to have quite the talk someday.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Cam said, then he returned his attention to Emma.

She took his extended hand and let him pull her to her feet. With her hand in his, the achy, broken pieces of her heart started to bind back together, leaving her feeling whole for the first time all week. She tried not to let herself get carried away, because she knew they still had a lot to work out, but after feeling hopeless for days, the happy optimism tingling through her body felt too nice to shove away.

So she pushed logistics and worries about the unsteady future from her mind and let her heart take the wheel, hoping it wouldn’t end up crashing and burning.

They walked toward the trees, and Cam kept on walking until they reached the spot where he’d first asked her not to go out with Pete and then kissed her. She’d wanted him so badly that day—ever since she’d first laid eyes on him, really—and she still did.
I just need him to want me. Please let him want me.

She sat down on the large flat rock, and when her hands couldn’t deal with having nothing to do, she tucked them under her thighs.

Cam lowered his big body onto the rock and then lifted the basket and spun it around. “Quinn texted to let me know which basket was yours, but I’d know Zoey’s influence anywhere. She help you decorate?”

Emma was afraid talking would cause her to burst into tears—she was pretty close to doing so as it was—so she simply nodded.

Cam ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t even know where to start.” His gaze drifted toward the trees, and then he sucked in a breath and turned his blue-green eyes back on her. “I’m so sorry, Emma. I saw that contract, and then I saw you with Pete, and I just…I lost my temper.

“Remember how I told you that when I first got home, I felt lost? Without the military in my life, I’d lost my sense of purpose. And I was still dealing with blaming myself for that last bad mission, and everything inside me was all mixed up. I thought Mountain Ridge would be enough—I’d hoped so badly it would be, for months. That it’d fix everything broken inside me. But there was still something missing.” He placed his hand on her knee and ran his thumb over the top, and her skin hummed, coming alive so quickly under his touch. “Then you and Zoey happened.”

Emma attempted to swallow, but her throat vetoed it.

“You guys became my sense of purpose, and when I found out I might be losing it… Everything I cared about was suddenly slipping through my fingers, and I panicked.” He squeezed her knee tighter. “Then I saw you with Pete and…well, you were there.”

“I was,” Emma said, the words scraping from her tight throat. The reminder of that night brought back the pain she’d felt and put a dent in the optimism she was doing her best to hold on to. She glanced down at the rock, focusing on a silver fleck that caught the sunlight. “You told me that you came here to run your lodge and to escape everything, and that I was getting in the way of what you truly wanted.”

He put his hands on either side of her face, gently tipping it toward his. “That’s because I’m an idiot. I don’t express myself well. Anger’s my knee-jerk reaction, and sometimes it’s easier than feeling hurt. But that’s what I felt. Hurt.” He looked to the sky and let out a long exhale before his attention returned to her. “Heath told me… But I… You see…”

Cam growled, frustration radiating off him, and she almost wrapped her arms around him and told him it was all okay. But they needed to have a real talk, to discuss everything and figure out where they went from here, before she knew if it would truly be okay.

That was the problem with falling in love. It messed up your common sense, and she didn’t mind being without it if she wasn’t there alone, but someone had to be responsible, and time had proved again and again that that was her role.

Oh, well. The happy optimism was nice while it lasted.

“What do you want, Cam? No matter what you say, or what you decide about me, I’ll make sure you get a lot of time with Zoey. We can schedule visits, and I’ll travel back to Hope Springs whenever I can, or even meet you halfway between here and Salt Lake. It’s so important to her and to me that you’re in her life. If you’re not ready for more…for us, you and I can just put our relationship aside and focus on her. Because she’s what’s important.”

Time seemed to stop, and tears were coming, and she didn’t want to cry in front of him again, so when, after several eternally long seconds, he still hadn’t said anything, she started to stand.

Cam caught her hand, holding her in place. “Please, don’t go yet. I’m trying, I swear I am. I just might need a few attempts to get it right.” He pressed his lips together and took a few deep breaths, then his eyes met hers again. “The mountains have always been my escape. When things got bad at home, I’d hike as far as my legs could take me. Sometimes alone, sometimes with Heath. When we didn’t have food, I’d go hunting and fishing and make sure the freezer was stocked enough to get us through the winter months. I survived because of those mountains. Misery didn’t touch me there. So after our fight, I grabbed my gear and took off into the hills, the way I’d done dozens—hell, hundreds of times before…

“But without you? I was completely miserable. And it was more than the rain and lack of fish.” He reached out and dragged his thumb across her lower lip, and intense longing like she’d never felt before took over every inch of her body. “I couldn’t escape missing you. Which made me think that I might be in love with you.”