The Bad Boy's Baby (Hope Springs) (17 page)

Chapter Twenty-Four

As Cam walked up the sidewalk to Emma’s, he scrubbed a hand over his face and tried to pull himself together. Big surprise, Sheena wasn’t very good at the sight of blood and had nearly passed out twice. Cam had seen his fair share, so he’d helped change Dad’s soaked bandages and applied fresh ones to the gruesome wound, while Heath tried to keep Sheena and Oliver calm and occupied.

Every time he’d gone to call Emma and give her an update, another person would knock on the door, or Sheena would have another meltdown, and it felt like he and Heath had put out one fire only for two more to pop up. The entire afternoon had gone by in a hectic blur, and now all he wanted was a quiet night with Emma.

He glanced at the time—Zoey would probably still be up for a little while, too. After their little girl was asleep, though, he planned on taking Emma into her bedroom, where he could kiss and hold her the way his body craved, and ask if he could stay the night. Forget all the rules and taking it slow. He didn’t want slow anymore. He wanted his family.

Only when he knocked on the door, Emma wasn’t the one who answered. A teenage girl with braces had Zoey in her arms.

“Daddy!” Zoey launched herself at him, and he caught her. She put her hands on both of his cheeks and gave him a big, smacking kiss.

He bounced her higher in his arms and stepped farther inside the house. “Is Emma here?”

“Oh, no she’s not. I’m watching Zoey so she could go meet someone. At the Triple S, I think.”

The skin on Cam’s neck prickled, the blood in his veins immediately pumping hotter. Then he told himself it was probably just Quinn and Sadie, and he needed to calm down.

“I’m Madison, by the way,” the babysitter said. “Cam Brantley, right? My little brother is in Oliver’s class.”

Cam extended his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Need milk,” Zoey said, pointing at her sippy cup on the floor.

“I can get it,” the babysitter said.

“It’s okay. I got it.” Cam lowered Zoey so she was upside down and dangling over her cup. She squealed and grabbed the cup, giggling when he swung her back up. Hugging her tight, he kissed her cheek. Already the stress of the day was fading—if Dad didn’t have to fight everything so damn hard, it would’ve been much easier. Finally Cam had asked a nurse to slip him something. She’d looked horrified by it, but whatever pain meds she’d given him had calmed him down enough for the doctor to cast the foot he claimed was “just fine.”

As soon as Zoey had her refilled sippy cup, she ran to show it off to Madison. Cam noticed the messy kitchen and thought he’d pay the babysitter and tell her she could go home, then he’d tidy up and watch Zoey until Emma arrived.

But the document next to the pot of mostly eaten mac and cheese caught his eye. When he lifted it, he bumped the open laptop and it came to life. As he started to read down the page, his lungs tightened. Then he glanced at the screen and noticed the town houses Emma had obviously been looking into were in Salt Lake City.

Where she was apparently going to be working.

What the hell? She’s moving, and she didn’t even think to tell me?
Anger rose, quickly taking over his body. How could she do this? She hadn’t told him about his daughter for two years, and now, after they’d lived in the same town for six whole weeks, she was going to take her away?

Over his dead body.

He strode into the living room, and in an effort to not scare the babysitter or his daughter, he forced a tight smile onto his lips. “I’m going to go find Emma. You’ll be okay with Zoey for a little while longer?”

She nodded. “Yeah, I’ve got her.”

Cam told his daughter good-bye, promised he’d see her soon, and then he got in his truck and headed toward the Triple S.

He charged inside the restaurant, a man on a mission. And when he saw that not only was Emma there, but she was having an intimate dinner with Pete, he released the hold on his anger, not bothering to fight it back anymore.

…

Emma glanced up from her untouched fries to see Cam heading toward her, and while her heart first skipped a beat at simply seeing him, the second beat it missed was because of how angry he looked.

“What the hell, Emma?” He slammed his fist down on the table, making the plates and, in turn, her, jump. “You’re going to move to Salt Lake City without even telling me? Just like you didn’t bother telling me about Zoey in the first place.” He shook his head, disgust clear on his features. “And I thought you were different.”

It felt like her internal organs were shrinking in on themselves, and she couldn’t help but notice the way everyone in the place was now staring at them. Seth Jr. looked ready to leap over the bar and play bouncer, and she wanted to tell everyone to stay back—she honestly worried about anyone who dared to take on Cam right now.

Unfortunately, she was the one who needed to. “Cam, please calm down.”

“Oh, I don’t think I’ll be calm this time. Last time I was calm, and apparently you’ve taken that as a sign that you can jerk me around.”

Pete was hunched over, flinching with every word.

“Hey, what did I say about Brantleys and the Triple S not mixing last time you came in,” Trevor, one of the bartenders, said as he wrapped his hand around Cam’s arm. “Let’s just fast-forward to where you’re permanently kicked out like your dad.”

Cam spun, fist cocked, and Emma shot to her feet and grabbed his arm. “Cam.
Stop.
”

He glanced at her, and while his stony expression didn’t change, he did lower his fist. Emma took advantage and tugged him toward the door of the Triple S. For years she’d been the quiet girl who walked the line, and with everyone staring, she missed the anonymity. Missed being the boring one.

As soon as she managed to get Cam outside, she opened her mouth to explain, but he cut her off. “You told me nothing was going on with Pete.”

“Nothing is,” she said, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “I mean, except the job offer, which—”

“I don’t need this. I came to get away. All I wanted was to run the lodge and get away from everything.” His hard footsteps as he paced the wooden walkway in front of the Triple S punctuated his words. “Now I’m here in town causing a scene, on the verge of getting banned from the bar for life, and for what?”

Hurt rose up and settled deep in Emma’s chest. “Well, things didn’t turn out like you expected, did they?”

“No. This wasn’t what I wanted at all.”

Tears sprang to her eyes. “You think
I
expected all of this?”

“Too bad for you I came home, right? Or you could’ve kept lying to everyone.”

She moved into his pathway and crossed her arms. “So much for you saying that you forgive me. And I told you that I didn’t need your help. You chose to get involved.”

“Hey, we all make mistakes. Or do you just want to be forgiven for yours, but when it comes to other people, you expect them to be perfect?” He raked both hands through his hair then shook his head, resentment and rage practically wafting off him.

Swallowing didn’t dislodge the lump in her throat, so she forced herself to talk through it. “I barely got the job offer today. I tried to talk to you about it, but then your dad got hurt, so I didn’t have the chance. After reading over the contract a couple of times, I still had some questions, so I came to talk to Pete so I’d have all the facts before you and I talked about it.”

He just kept shaking his head, muttering about how he should’ve known better.

“This is a great job, the kind of job I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember, and I could provide a better life for Zoey. I have to think about that, Cam.”

“And what I could provide for Zoey wouldn’t be enough?” he snapped.

“I’m not saying that! She needs you. Of course I want you to still be in her life.”

“Oh, I will be.” He leveled her with a cold glare, none of the affection that he’d shown her the past few weeks, and she swore she could feel her heart crack, the jagged pieces cutting deep before it split in two.

“Is that really what you think of me? That I’ll try to take Zoey away if you don’t play nice?”

“You kept her from me for two years, Emma. Toe the line, you make all the decisions, and you don’t need me—I got the message loud and clear.”

“So that’s what the past month and a half has been about? Toeing the line so you can see your daughter?”

He didn’t even look at her, more like through her. “I need to get back to the lodge. Back to the life I’ve worked for, so I don’t lose my temper here and undo all the hard work Heath’s done to restore the Brantley reputation.”

“Yeah, don’t let me and my impending difficult decision about my entire future keep you from escaping everything.” Wiping at the tears that’d spilled over and run onto her cheeks seemed like accepting defeat, so she let them fall unchecked.

“We both know you’ve already made your decision. I’m not going to sit here and fight with you until things get really ugly.”

This wasn’t really ugly? It felt devastatingly ugly. A couple of people had started out of the Triple S, only to backpedal to give them space. Usually she would’ve ducked her head and backed away, unable to deal with the confrontation, and especially unable to deal with people witnessing it. But she didn’t want to look back and think she should’ve fought harder for Cam.

“I’ll make sure to schedule touring trips around when I have Zoey,” he said, his voice completely monotone, and the missing warmth chilled her to her core. “Divorced people manage to raise kids all the time, so I’m sure we can figure out a way to deal with each other when we have to.”

He started toward the parking lot, and she almost let it go at that. But each beat of her broken heart sent more misery coursing through her, and with it came a burst of anger edged with desperation. Anger at herself that she’d let him in so quickly and that she’d fallen for him so hard, desperation that he was going to walk away and she’d forever feel the emptiness that was spreading through her, taking over the spot where her heart used to be.

“So that’s it?” she asked, following after him. “You’re happy to walk away and just forget about us?”

“What us? Who were we kidding?” He shook his head and strode away, never looking back at her, and she wished she had let it go.

A minute or so later—she wasn’t sure, because time had ceased to register or make sense—Cam’s truck sped past…

Leaving her alone in the parking lot where they’d had one steamy night, and making it clear that all he’d ever see her as was the girl he’d settled for before one of his deployments.

Chapter Twenty-Five

After the scene she and Cam had caused at the Triple S, she’d still had to go back inside to retrieve her purse—it had her keys, and she’d made it all the way to her car before realizing she couldn’t drive away like she desperately needed to.

She’d received a lot of sympathetic glances and questions about whether she was okay. The tear-streaked face had definitely been a dead giveaway, but she’d answered that she was fine, even though she was nowhere near anything resembling that word.

Pete had walked her out, waving off her insistence that he didn’t need to, and he’d told her that he’d finish up everything at Mountain Ridge and check in with Mr. Strickland. As much as she didn’t want to be the girl who couldn’t go to work because of a breakup, she also didn’t want to be the girl who burst into tears while having to work near her ex.

Besides, she’d see the property at the stupid picnic auction at the end of the week that she still had to attend, and she hoped that after four days to recover, she could fake her way through it.

Emma tried to be strong, and for a few days she even kept Zoey home from day care. Her heart remained broken, though, and it broke a little more each time Zoey asked about her daddy.

By the third day, she didn’t feel any better, but she decided to drop Zoey off at day care and force herself to appear like a person who had her life together. No doubt people in town were talking and wondering what was going on, and she figured the sooner she could get her life back to normal, the sooner it might feel that way.

Normal.

Boring.

Lonely.

With all those words swirling through her head, she collapsed on the couch the second she arrived back home and let herself shed the tears she’d held at bay for two days. Well, she’d cried plenty the night she’d returned home from her big fight with Cam, but she’d told herself that she’d only allow herself that one breakdown.

The problem was her heart ached, and she didn’t want to move on and put on a brave face. She wanted to wallow and cry. She didn’t want to have to be strong anymore, and how could she be, when she couldn’t even make a solid decision about her future?

If it were only hers, then it’d be easier. But she had to think about her career, about her responsibilities as a provider, about how moving away from Cam would affect Zoey long-term, and a dozen other things that completely overwhelmed her, especially while nursing a broken heart.

On top of all of that, someday, somehow, she needed to have a conversation with Cam and talk logistics of what their custody agreement would look like if she took the job in Salt Lake City that he’d already been so sure she’d take.

Custody agreements and lawyers and all the things that’d terrified her that first day Cam had opened the door and reentered her life.

A heavy dose of guilt rose up. Over not telling him she was pregnant in the first place, that she was considering moving away right after he’d connected with Zoey, and that he’d had to find out about the job in Salt Lake in the worst way possible.

I tried to explain, though. Tried to get his input so I could make a decision about this huge opportunity and whether or not it was worth leaving Hope Springs.

More than that, she’d fought for him. Something he obviously wasn’t willing to do for her.

As much as that fact hurt, making it clear that he’d been with her mostly out of convenience or obligation—either way, something she wouldn’t settle for, even as her heart screamed it didn’t care, because it wanted Cam anyway—she told herself it was better to know now.

She closed her eyes and reminded herself of the hurt that’d flash across Mom’s face when Dad made it clear he was only with her because of Emma.

No, she wouldn’t settle for that.

It took him all of six weeks to bring up the past and use it against me. I can only imagine how many times it’d come up if we tried to work things out.
Her accidental pregnancy and the fact that she’d withheld it would always be between them, ammo used in every fight.

At least he wants Zoey. My main goal has always been to ensure she feels wanted.
She’d have two families, basically. More love. It’d be…

Pain radiated through Emma’s chest. She’d find a way to work out the whole coparenting thing for her daughter’s sake. Even if it meant that eventually Cam would move on and find a woman he wanted to be with.

It’ll be some beauty-queen type with no complications, too, who he’ll make so many plans with that it’ll take every ounce of my strength to not try to sabotage them all.

Ugh, why does she get plans and I don’t?

And now she was feeling irrational hatred for someone who didn’t exist.
Yet.

The knock on the door made her jerk upright. She froze, hoping and praying whoever it was would believe she wasn’t at home.

“Emma.” The knocking grew louder. “It’s Quinn and Sadie. Please let us in.”

Emma wiped her eyes, knowing that there’d been too much crying for her to pull off a person who had her life together. As much as she hated for anyone to see her like this, she needed her friends more.

Sadie and Quinn took one look at her and then enveloped her in a hug.

They’d heard enough details to get the gist of what happened, and Emma filled in the rest. The tears flowed freely as she rehashed her and Cam’s fight, and she didn’t bother stopping them. “He didn’t want me.”

Quinn shook her head. “That’s not true. I saw it—he cares about you, I know he does. He’s just…ridiculously stubborn. And maybe a bit lost.”

“I bet
he’s
not sitting at home crying,” Emma said, giving Quinn a look that challenged her to contradict the statement. The tiny part of her that’d been clinging to the shred of hope she couldn’t quite let go of desperately wanted her to contradict it.

“He…left. Took off into the mountains. He’s been up there for three days.”

“I bet he’s up there crying,” Sadie said, patting Emma’s knee, and in spite of everything, she laughed, even though a sob came on the heels of it.

“I doubt it. The ability to escape into the mountains was what he wanted. I got in the way. Me and Zoey—but at least he doesn’t regret Zoey. He’s willing to give up time in the mountains for her.”

Quinn dug into her bag and brought out a bottle of tequila. “Now, before you say you can’t drink this with us, just…don’t say it. We’ll drown our sorrows for an hour or so, and then you’ll have time to sober up before you go get Zoey. Promise.”

Sadie produced three shot glasses. “Yeah, and I’m leaving in a little over a week, so I need a last hurrah.”

Emma winced at the hard liquor as she tipped it back, not sure how much she could stomach. “If I end up taking the job, this might be my last hurrah here, too—the picnic basket auction certainly won’t be hurrah material. More like shoot me now, with a side of an awkward date.”

Quinn poured everyone another. “For the record, we don’t want you to move.
But
we also understand following your dreams and doing what’s best for your family and all that jazz. So, while we let the buzz work its way through our systems, why don’t you tell us all about this new job? That way, maybe we can help you decide.”

…

The wind rippled the surface of the lake, sending Cam’s fishing line drifting farther toward the center and causing him to tighten his jacket and hike his shoulders up against the cold. The late spring storms had brought a heavy dose of rain, and while that usually meant better fishing conditions, he’d caught all of one fish in three days.

If Emma and I were having a contest this trip…
His heart snagged.
Well, I’d lose.

It definitely felt like he’d lost—something way more than a contest, too. This sense of failure went much deeper, down to where it took root and grew stronger every passing day.

After their fight, he’d realized he’d let his temper get the best of him again. Instead of facing up to it, he’d packed his gear, thinking once he headed into the mountains, he wouldn’t feel so lost. That he could clear his mind and figure out his next step.

Even though he’d taken an obscure trail he’d only been on a few times in high school and hiked to a different lake than the one he’d been to with Emma, every damn thing reminded him of her. In an epically stupid move, he’d brought as much alcohol with him as he could carry, and he’d already burned through most of the beer and a bottle of vodka. He’d thought it’d make the long nights better, but in truth, all it did was make him feel just like his dad.

Not even the new-and-improved version who stubbornly refused medical treatment—the past, horrible version that had nothing going for him.

Which had only made Cam want to drink more. He’d thought of a hundred different things he should’ve said to Emma. Like,
don’t take the job. I want you to stay
.

I want you.

I think I’m in love with you, and it scares the shit out of me.

Instead he’d yelled. Turned it all on her and then walked away, undeterred by the catch in her voice and the tears running down her face.

What scared him—and what he couldn’t stop thinking about, though—was that he’d wanted to hit something so badly. That Pete guy would’ve been nice. Trevor the Prick, who’d compared him to Dad… Forget that he’d been acting like him that night, as well as ever since.

Emma’s touch had cooled his temper just enough, but not enough to prevent him from ripping into her when they stepped outside.

As he’d driven away, his anger quickly morphing into self-loathing, he’d thought that the best thing for her, as well as for Zoey, was to get away from him.

He told himself the same thing now.
They’re better off without me. They can go live their lives in the big city, and I can finally live mine the way I’d planned, without all these complications mucking it up.

A form of panic he’d never felt before seized him as the reality of what his life would be like without his girls sank in. A lot of emptiness and regret. No more teasing back and forth with Emma, no more having Zoey run into his arms as she yelled, “Daddy!”

He pressed a hand over his tightening chest. It felt like someone had punched a hole through him and taken everything that mattered. He’d never survive complete ostracism from his girls, and not seeing Zoey wasn’t an option.

Conjuring his daughter’s image made his heart fill to the brink with the love he had for her. He hated the thought of her being too far away for drop-bys, of all the milestones and little moments in her life he’d miss, but he refused to subject her to the way he’d been raised. With the lodge’s future so iffy, Emma was probably better off with a stable job in Utah.

Only seeing Zoey on weekends here and there is going to be torture.

It’d also be torturous to see Emma, because he knew he’d always want more, just like he knew she deserved a better guy. One who wouldn’t snap, one who had his life together. So for the sake of everyone involved, he’d do his damnedest to figure out how to be good at coparenting. And during the times he had Zoey, he’d cut his work hours as much as he could and make every second they had together count.

A lump formed in his throat, and even though he’d just mentally worked through all of his revelations and resolutions for the future, that damned hollow hole remained in his chest.

Since he’d reached the sappy portion of the day, he reeled in his pole, looked at the gray sky that threatened even more rain, and crawled into his tent.

Tomorrow was the big town picnic auction at Mountain Ridge.

Which meant he needed to stay in the mountains for a few more days.