The Bad Girls' Club (25 page)

I spotted someone sitting on his own near the stage. I couldn
’t really tell from here, and he had his back to me, but it looked a lot like Satoshi. Satoshi? Maybe I could join him. I shook myself. No. Bad idea. After that look he’d given me at Poppy’s party, better that I stayed away. I sighed and checked my watch.

I
’d not worn a jacket because it had been sweltering last time I’d been at the club but I must have been standing under an air vent because I shivered in the cold.

Then the maybe-
Satoshi got up and walked to the bar. In the better light I could tell it was definitely Satoshi. Ouch. Dilemma. He stood so close that he only needed to turn and he’d see me. I could either talk to him or look like I was blatantly ignoring him. Bugger; I’d make him talk to me. I couldn’t look like a bigger fool than I already had.

‘
Hey there, Satoshi.’ I tapped him on the arm.

He turned around but all I got was a terse nod.

‘So, what have you been up to?’

‘
Not a lot,’ he replied then reached back to the bar for his drink, the whole time deliberately avoiding my eyes. Then silence. Well, as silent as a silence can be with decibels of music pumping through the room. 

Just as I was about to move away,
Satoshi gave me a questioning look. ‘So what are you doing here?’ I wondered that myself. ‘Looking for some more stories to laugh about with your girlfriends?’

‘
What?’ I shook my head, puzzled and confused. ‘No.’

I sipped slowly at my drink, wondering where to go from there. I snuck a peep at
Satoshi; he was running his hand through his hair. I grinned at him. He grinned back, just a little. That was better.

An older man with a young girl walked up to the bar and started chatting to
Satoshi. He introduced me to the man, Sir Victor, who slapped me on the arm, rather forcefully.

‘
Hey girlie, you think you can handle playing with the big kids?’ His voice boomed out over the music and he looked around making sure the surrounding tables had heard.

I smiled through gritted teeth, not sure how to answer that. But Sir Victor had moved onto other things. His friend lingered behind him looking bored.

‘Hi,’ I said, feeling bad for her being ignored.

Sir Victor spun around.
‘Don’t ever speak to the girl without my permission.’

I waited for him to smile but he seemed deadly serious.

‘But –’

He pointed his finger in my face, moving in closer.
‘No buts… you seem new here, girlie, so I’ll let it go this time but you don’t want to cross me.’

I stepped back and he eased off. The girl seemed oblivious to it all.

I tried to catch Satoshi’s eye, to see how I should react, but Sir Victor had pulled out a case, opening it to show Satoshi. Inside, a row of knives glistened in the lights.

‘
Check this out,’ he said, nudging Satoshi’s arm and snorting. ‘The girl’s a sook about blood.’

He took a huge knife out of the case, the handle covered in an intricate pattern. I shuddered. I could be a big sook about blood too. He balanced the knife in his hand, turning it so we could admire the blade,
and then ran the flat side along the girl’s arm. She stood absolutely still, but I noticed the slight flinch in her face and the look of dread in her eyes.

‘
She’ll have her limits tested tonight,’ Sir Victor told us. ‘She got to learn she’s my property and I’ll do with her as I desire.’

Couldn
’t he see her cringe? Maybe he could and he didn’t care. Or maybe he got off on that. But then, I’d caused Craig deliberate pain. He hadn’t wanted that. I’d known it and kept going. Mum might think I’d never lose of control, but she had to. She was my mother.

Suddenly, I wanted to be curled up on the couch, playing Street Fighter and eating deep pan Hawaiian pizza. I wanted everything to go back to the way it had been.

Sir Victor slapped me on the arm again. ‘You sticking around for the show?’ He chuckled. ‘You might learn a lot. It’s going to be hardcore.’

My stomach heaved.

‘Wait until you see my enema kit.’

‘
I’ve a really big day tomorrow. Got to be up early.’ I shot Satoshi a quick smile as I dashed for the door.

Satoshi
ran after me, catching me as I got to my car.

‘
Are you sure you don’t want to stay?’ he asked, grabbing my arm.

Satoshi
liked me. I could tell. Ten minutes ago, that would have made my night but I wasn’t so sure if I wanted to play the games Satoshi was into.

I shook my head. I didn
’t want to stay. I wanted to go somewhere safe and quiet, where I could sort out the thousands of thoughts buzzing around in my head.

‘
Sir Victor is a total jerk. Don’t let him put you off.’

‘
It’s not that…’ I shrugged, I didn’t know what to say. How to tell him it wasn’t Sir Victor that disgusted me so much as the thought that I could have just a tiny bit of the same thing within me.

Satoshi
grabbed me by the arms, staring at me intently.

‘
The man’s a fucking jerk. It’s not this scene that makes him an arsehole, he just is. You see that, don’t you? It wouldn’t matter what he was into, if it was… fly fishing or macramé, he’s a bully and he’ll always be like that.’

‘
I’ve got to go,’ I told Satoshi, opening the car door.

‘
Call me sometime,’ he said, waving me goodbye.

***

Craig came around to visit the next day. I’d not gotten out of bed yet. I could see the sun streaming through the blinds and could hear Mum pottering around downstairs but I just wanted to let my mind blank out. The world could survive without me for a day. I’d pulled Pink Bunny out from under the bed. Childish, I know, but sometimes Pink Bunny makes me feel better. When I snuggle him, he smells like childhood and innocence and chewed ear.

Craig knocked on my bedroom door then walked in.

‘Hi,’ I said, sleepily. I wiggled up, making room for him to sit.

My clubbing clothes sat in a pile on the floor where I
’d thrown them when I got home. I swept them under the bed with my foot.

Craig stared at his hands for a minute and I waited for him to talk.

‘Sorry, Jules,’ he said. He turned to look at me. ‘I said some mean stuff to you but you shocked me. I wasn’t expecting…’

‘
I’m sorry too, Craig.’

‘
Tony’s pizza isn’t the same without you, Jules. And I was thinking last night. You’re like Princess Peach and this thing… well, it’s like Donkey Kong. It’s got you in its clutches. I’ve got to pull on my plumber pants and be a man like Mario.’ He turned and smiled at me. It was a weird analogy, but I could see where he was coming from. I tried to picture Craig with a big-assed moustache and had to grin.

‘
So, I was thinking, we should get married. But you’ve got to give up all…’ He looked down to where I’d nudged my clubbing clothes.

I stroked Pink Bunny
’s ear. That had always been the plan. That I’d marry Craig. We’d have kids and a house and the works. I’d always be safe with Craig. I’d never have to question who I was or what I was capable of. It was time to get back to the real world.

Craig reached into his pocket and pulled out a box. He
’d bought a ring? Craig had gone into a jewellery shop and bought a ring? No way. He opened the box and took my hand. As he slipped the ring on my finger, I wondered if Princess Peach had even asked to be rescued.

I sat at my desk with my earphones in, hoping Poppy would
n’
t be tempted to talk to me. I had a stack of work to do and a can of Diet Coke to get me through the afternoon. So far,
I’
d existed on Diet Coke and fruit. I’d been going great guns and think I’d lost three kilograms at least. Woohoo! Go me. Anyway, I preferred not to talk to Poppy. Talking to Poppy raised questions I didn’t want to think about.

Someone waved from across the office. José. Great. What did he want? I took the earphones out of my ears.

‘Imogen, are you coming?’ he asked. ‘It’s Maria’s birthday. You’d better get some cake before it’s all gone.’

Cake. Urgh. That was the last thing I wanted. Still, I couldn
’t just ignore him. I got up and wandered over to José’s desk. Maria cut the cake up into big chunks while Poppy handed out the plates and napkins.

‘
Happy birthday, Maria,’ I said and leaned against the edge of a desk, sipping on my can. I wouldn’t even look at that cake. If I didn’t look, I wouldn’t be tempted. Diet Coke was just as good as cake anyway. Better. It had carbonated water and food acid and phenylalanine. Yum. Much better than all that cream and sugar. I’d be fine so long as I didn’t see it. I turned and checked out the collage of photos on the side of José’s cubicle. I wondered if it would be wrong to take his stress ball and use the gallery of stuffed toys on Maria’s desk as target practice.

‘
Aren’t you having any?’ Poppy asked. ‘What’s wrong? You on a diet?’

I shook my head.
‘I just don’t feel like cake today.’

‘
But it’s your favourite.’ She waved the cake under my nose. I could smell the coffee and the cream and the chocolate and the mascarpone and that liqueur that they put in tiramisu. Each one nothing on its own but when combined into a soggy, creamy, cakey dessert – becoming more than the sum of its parts. Why couldn’t it be mud or cheese or any other lesser cake? I wanted to snatch the plate out of her hand but instead I tried to imagine it crawling with maggots.

‘
Tiramisu,’ said Poppy, in case I hadn’t realised. ‘Check it out. I reckon this would have to be the best cake we’ve ever had. Maria’s mum made it herself. Maybe she could make one for my housewarming. Don’t worry, Imogen, I’ll leave this here in case you change your mind.’

She sat the cake beside me. Yeah, I could smell the goodness of it. All the rich, creamy yumminess. One little bite wouldn
’t hurt, surely. But Daniel. He was like tiramisu in human form. Suddenly, carbonated water and food acid and phenylalanine didn’t look so bad. I picked up the plate and handed it back to Poppy.

‘
That’s okay. I won’t feel like it.’

Poppy pursed her lips.
‘You sure?’

‘
I’m sure.’ Of course I was sure. The last thing I wanted was a tonne of fatty cream cake on my thighs when I was shagging her husband. I tried not to smile. She wouldn’t be so smug if she knew. But then again, I doubt that I’d even be in the office. More likely I’d be in a dole queue.

Poppy proposed a toast to Maria. I raised my Coke can and mumbled birthday greetings. Poppy looked frazzled, leaning against the wall. My stomach churned. I remembered how glowing and excited she
’d been through all the wedding preparations. That was gone now. I was a bad person.

Then Poppy straightened herself up, glancing at me and the discarded cake.

‘Hey, everyone,’ she said, walking over and picking up the plate. ‘Get this. Imogen doesn’t want cake. Call a doctor.’

They all laughed. Screw Poppy. No one laughed at her hoeing into a huge slice of cake like she hadn
’t eaten in weeks. I really hoped she’d choke on it. Or that her metabolism would change overnight and she’d pork up like a big hog. I’d had enough of this anyway. If I pissed off downstairs for a fag, the cake would be gone when I got back.

As I walked off I heard that suckhole, Maria, say to Poppy,
‘you’re so lucky. You can eat whatever you want and stay thin.’

‘
I know,’ Poppy answered. ‘I’m so lucky.’

‘
Yeah and why worry? You already have your man.’

There was some hesitation in Poppy
’s laugh.

I was back at my desk before it clicked. Housewarming? What housewarming? I knew nothing about a housewarming party. I still wasn
’t over the damn photo night. I swear sometimes she just sat around thinking of ways to torture me. With any luck, I’d be far away from Poppy before the party and her new personal assistant could do the dirty work. I’d had enough – the engagement party, the wedding, the photos. Now this. My promotion couldn’t come soon enough.

I picked up the photos of the house from the pile Poppy had left on my desk. I
’d never wanted to buy a house or settle down; mostly I was happy living with Jack. Home was just somewhere to sleep and watch TV but I picked up one of the photos, wondering what it would be like, coming home to somewhere like that after a day at work. I’d walk into the kitchen and pour myself a glass of wine and sit at the kitchen bench chatting with my gorgeous Daniel-esque husband, joking about my day. Maybe he’d rub my shoulders and tell me I had to relax more.

I
’d be in that kitchen getting dinner ready while he chopped vegetables. I’d make some joke and he’d look at me, smiling so his eyes crinkled and turned sexy. He’d tickle that vulnerable spot just under my rib cage and I’d squeal and try to run away but he’d catch me. Somehow, we’d end up wrestling on the floor. He’d pin me down, straddling me, tickling me and covering my neck with light teasing butterfly kisses. I’d wrap my legs around his and feel the pressure of his cock growing hard against me –

Someone removed the headphones from my ears.

‘Think you should turn your music down. I’ve been talking to you for ages and you didn’t even answer.’

Shit. Poppy. Did I have illicit lust beaming out of me? Thoughts of Daniel radiating from every pore? I sorted some documents to avoid looking at her.

‘I’d hate to have to ban your little iPod thing.’ She reached over and picked it up. ‘The Ramones? Who are they?’

Sometimes Poppy scared me.

‘So, what’s this about a housewarming party?’ I asked her.

‘
We’re moving at the end of this month and I want to have the party before summer ends.’

‘
But –’ I stopped myself before I blurted out that Daniel knew nothing about it.

‘‘
So…’ She flung a piece of paper on my desk. ‘I want you to start sending out invitations.’

I picked up the list. This was going too far.

‘Listen, Poppy. I’m not your little beck and call girl you know. It’s not up to me to run your personal errands.’

‘
You’re my personal assistant, aren’t you? That’s your job. To do my personal stuff. I’d hate to have to mention that you are un-cooperative on your recommendation for this promotion.’

I rolled my eyes and picked up the list. As I did, my mobile rang. Poppy reached out for it but I snatched the phone away. Thank goodness. When Daniel told me he
’d got a cheap prepaid mobile and would use the code name ‘Derek’, I’d thought he was being all paranoid and James Bond. Now, I saw his point. Although, I had no idea why he’d ring me at work.

I switched off the phone and threw it in my bag.

‘Who was that?’ asked Poppy.

‘
Ahh… no one. A friend.’

‘
A friend, huh?’ She put on that annoying voice, the one most girls stop using after high school. ‘Do you have a special friend, Imogen? You do. You’re blushing. Oh my.’

Of course I was blushing. I
’d have to have a word with ‘Derek’ about ringing me at work. Poppy was nosey enough to actually pick up my phone if she had a chance. He should know that.

‘
It’s no one, really,’ I said.

‘
Probably best not to let these things interfere with work. You’ve been a bit cranky lately too.’

I gulped and nodded while Poppy picked up the photos of the house and flicked through them. Of course I
’d been cranky. What with trying to resist cake and trying to resist her husband, I’d zapped all the strength from my not being a cranky bitch part of my brain.

‘
It might be nice if you scanned some of these photos and did something all lovely and creative for the invitations. You’re so good at those kinds of things.’

I did her invitations then decided to sneak out for a cigarette. I
’d have gone home sick if I could have. I’d just about had enough of Poppy.

While I waited for the lift, I heard her voice from the meeting room. I didn
’t mean to eavesdrop, I really didn’t.

‘
Personally, I don’t think Imogen can handle the responsibility. She’s a little bit immature and lately I’ve been beginning to doubt her commitment to the job… I know it’s up to you. Give her the promotion if you want, I’m just thinking about the company’s reputation.’

The bitch. The absolute bitch.

***

Daniel didn
’t leave a message and he hadn’t called back when I got home from work. I ran around, tidying the place up. It was amazing how different the house looked. I seemed to have a renewed interest in domestic duties.

I couldn
’t get enough of him lately. He’d dropped over after football training a couple of weeks ago and now he popped in nearly every second night or so. It wasn’t just a fling for him. It couldn’t be, he was risking so much.

Jack had a meeting until 11.00 so we
’d have the house to ourselves for a couple of hours. So far we’d only groped and petted like a couple of high school kids. Between having Jack in the next room and my guilt about being a scarlet woman and also not wanting Daniel to see my fat thighs, we’d not gone all the way. With Jack out and Poppy being a conniving promotion ruiner, I only had my thighs to worry about. I could dim the lights.

I made myself a salad for dinner – lettuce and celery and tomato. Jack had bought himself a big block of chocolate. It sat in the door of the fridge. Fruit and Nut, my favourite. But I didn
’t need chocolate. Not any more.

I took my bowl of salad outside and sat in the sun. It was a gorgeous night. Maybe I should see if Daniel wanted to come over for dinner some time. I could cook something stunning; well, Jack could cook since I didn
’t want to poison Daniel. We could sit out here on the decking and maybe share a good bottle of Shiraz. I’d do something clever with the table and put candles around the garden. Maybe even pull out some of the weeds and put something planty in. I should nick some of those glossy house magazines from Poppy’s office for inspiration.

I rinsed out my bowl then showered and changed into something sexy. I used to hate dressing up. I
’d get home from work and chuck on my pyjamas but then I’d never had anyone to make an effort for. It wasn’t like Jack mattered.

I
’d even splurged on some nice lingerie – not slutty, just better than my old Cottontails. And I’d bought some new clothes – well I had to, the only seductive thing in my wardrobe had been that red halter top and I couldn’t wear it all the time. Anyway it reeked of Beth and treachery. I’m sure it would be a bad omen to ever wear it again.

I pranced around in front of the mirror, in just my bra and knickers and high heels. I looked thinner, I could see it. My collarbones even stuck out a little.

Damn it, I had to stop preening and get ready. Daniel would be there soon. I slipped on a slinky dress and put on some makeup, then lounged on the couch, flicking through a magazine.

I finished the magazine. Where was he? You can only elegantly lounge in a sexy dress for so long before it becomes tedious. Your dress gets crumpled and your hair gets messed and your makeup runs. It was hard work looking that good.

I got up and put on another coat of lipstick then I remembered Daniel didn’t like lipstick; too easy to leave telltale marks, so I rubbed it off. Then I wandered into the kitchen to get a glass of water. One piece of chocolate wouldn’t hurt. I’d been good all day. I broke off a row and put the rest back in the fridge then I went back to reclining on the couch. Maybe I shouldn’t recline though. He was half an hour late, the bastard, and I didn’t want him to think I had nothing better to do than wait around for him. Maybe I should go out. See a movie or something. He’d turn up and the house would be empty. I’d look aloof and mysterious. That’s what I should do.

Instead I rang his mobile. But it just rang out. Maybe he was training late. I flicked on the TV.

Damn, that chocolate was good. I needed just a little bit more. Another row wouldn’t hurt.

There was nothing interesting on telly – I flicked through the channels without settling on anything. I wandered to the kitchen and got the packet out of the fridge. No point sitting down then having to go back for more.

I tried to get into a movie but my eyes kept wandering to the clock. I checked my phone again, just in case he’d called and I’d missed it. Why hadn’t he left a message before? Maybe he’d been calling to say he couldn’t come over. But then he’d have rung back. Or sent a text. Maybe his phone got stolen. Maybe… I reached for another piece of chocolate but couldn’t find one. I patted the foil package but all I got was an empty, tinny rattle. I couldn’t remember eating that much. I searched the floor in case I’d dropped some. Hell. I wanted more chocolate.