The Bad Girls' Club (24 page)

What if Imogen was shitty still? What if she slammed the door in my face? I
’d called her a fat cow. Why did I call her a fat cow? As soon as I’d said it, I wished I could take it back. Juliette had said I’d end up with no friends and she was right.

I put the key back in the ignition. I
’d just go home. I bit my lip. I wasn’t going to cry. This was nothing to cry about. I just had to go in there and find things out for myself.

I had my hand on the car door handle when her gate opened. I jumped back and shut the door. Maybe she was going out.

Imogen lingered in the gateway, talking to someone. Just as they were about to walk out, she threw her arms around him and kissed him. Really, it was a bit tacky, macking on like that in the street. I’d never do that.

I shook my head. Who was I trying to fool? I would do that. I had done that, and I
’d done worse. Good on Imogen for finding someone. I hoped he was someone nice, someone who’d appreciate her.

I ducked down in my seat. The last thing I wanted was to be sprung, spying on them. I peeked through the steering wheel to get a look at him, but he was in the shadows. All I could see was Imogen
’s hand running down his back. She was really going for it but surely she had to come up for air sometime.

Finally, she let go. She waved at him as he walked off then leaned on the fence, looking exhausted. All shagged out, no doubt.

As her lover walked back to his car, I caught a glimpse of him in the street light.

Oh my God. It was Daniel.

When I got home from the supermarket, Mum told me that Poppy had called.

‘She’s having a house warming party and wanted to know if you could make it.’

I emptied the Cornflakes into the cereal container.

‘Housewarming?’ I squashed the box and threw it in the recycling. ‘I suppose she wants me to cook for it too?’

Mum grinned at me; she
’d never thought much of Poppy.

‘
She did mention something about that.’

I shrugged and put the biscuits into the biscuit tin. I couldn
’t imagine anything worse than another one of Poppy’s parties. Imogen and Beth were sure to be there, scowling at me.

‘
Why don’t you go along, dear? You’ve been so down lately. It would do you good to get out and party a little.’

‘
Party?’ I laughed. ‘You want me to party, Mum?’

Mum put on the kettle so I arranged some Tic Tocs on a plate and sat down with her.

‘So, what’s wrong?’ Mum asked.

I looked down at my coffee. I didn
’t know where to start, and I didn’t know if I wanted to discuss with it Mum.

‘
Are you missing Craig?’

I picked up a biscuit, a yummy pink one, and let the icing dissolve on my tongue. Was I missing Craig?

‘To be honest, Mum, I don’t think I am. Things weren’t right for long time. And, when we broke up, I did things, he said things…’ I sighed. ‘Sorry, Mum. Guess it’ll be a while until you’re a grandmother.’

Mum smiled.
‘A granny? At my age? I’m in no hurry for that. It’s good that you have your freedom.’

‘
But I thought you liked Craig. I thought you wanted us to get married and settled down. You’ve been going on about having grandkids for ages.’

‘
What else was I going to say? You had your heart set on marrying Craig. And, if that’s what you truly wanted, I’d be happy for you. But I don’t think Craig’s made you happy in a long time. What’s the point of settling down if you don’t live a little first? Break out. Have some adventures.’

‘
I guess.’ But I didn’t mean it. I’d had enough of adventures. What was wrong with being boring anyway? I’d been perfectly happy in my boring life until everyone decided to change that.

‘
Come on, Juliette. Why don’t you call Imogen and Beth? They seem like fun girls.’

Fun? They hadn
’t exactly been fun lately. Pains the butt more like it.

‘
We aren’t exactly talking to each other.’ I took another biscuit. ‘You know, Mum, it’s scary. What if I break out like you say but I break out too far? What if I break out and don’t know when to stop breaking?’

Mum shook her head.

‘That’s not going to happen.’

If only she knew.

‘It has happened, Mum. I think I’m… well, weird or something.’

‘
Weird? What do you mean, dear?’

I looked away. It
’s not like I exactly wanted to give my mum a blow-by-blow description of my sex life over the past few months.

‘
I think I freaked Craig…’

She laughed. I tried to confess my sicko tendencies and she chuckled?

‘Mum, it’s not funny…’

‘
Don’t tell me. You tried some kinky stuff on Craig and he ran out crying like a little girl?’

I nodded. How did she know? Did I leave something lying around the house? But I couldn
’t have. I’d triple-checked everything. Still, I had to grin; he really did run like a little girl.

‘
Oh, I did the same thing kind of thing with your father one time. Anyone would think he’d never –’

‘
What? What did you do?’

She shook her head.
‘You don’t want to know the details. But Juliette, that’s why you need to go out and enjoy yourself. Stop moping around the house. And for heaven sake, don’t try to get back with Craig. He’ll bore you stupid.’

‘
What did you do, Mum?’

‘
I’m not going to tell you that. It’s none of your business.’

She took our cups over to the sink and rinsed them. As if I was going to let her get away with that. I slunk over to her.

‘Come on, Mum. Tell me. You know you want to.’ Mum actually blushed. This had to be a good story.

‘
I want no such thing.’

‘
Mum…’

She flicked me away with the tea towel.

‘Go away and stop being silly,’ she said but she smiled.

I
’d get the story out of her yet. I sat back down at the table and tried my most serious look.

‘
You know it would be really good for me, Mum, if you told me. It would help me get over Craig and stop moping.’

‘
I’m not telling you Juliette. Some things are private between a man and wife.’

‘
Okay, Mum. If you say so.’

I went up to my room and came back down with my laundry. On the way through the kitchen, I called out to Mum.

‘Did you tie him up and whip him with celery?’

‘
Juliette, the subject’s closed.’

I tried not to giggle as I sorted my clothes into piles. The subject was anything but closed. She couldn
’t just drop something like that into the conversation then leave it. I put the whites onto wash and snuck back into her.

‘
Did you drip candle wax on him but it clumped up in his hair and scorched his skin?’

Mum laughed.
‘No.’

‘
Did you dress up in a French Maid’s outfit and taunt him with a feather duster? Did you try to give him a golden shower? Did you whip out a set of nipple clamps?’

‘
No, Juliette.’

‘
I know. You had a wife swapping party. You all threw in your car keys – you and Janice and Margaret and… oh… Mrs Fraser down the street. You did, didn’t you?’ Mrs Fraser was about 100 years old and she had facial hair you could braid. I leaned against the cupboard, laughing.

‘
Juliette! Stop that.’

Mum tried to look serious but her mouth twitched at the corners.

‘But if you must know, I’ll tell you. If you promise me something first.’

‘
I won’t tell anyone.’

‘
Not that. I want you to promise you’ll go to Poppy’s party and try to make things up with Imogen and Beth.’

‘
Mum, you don’t know what happened. I don’t know if I can.’

‘
Try, honey. It’ll be worth the effort.’

I pouted but she just looked at me. She wasn
’t going to give in on this, I could tell.

‘
Okay. Now tell me the story.’

Mum sat back down at the table and picked up a Tic Toc. She broke a small piece off the edge and popped it in her mouth.

‘This was back when you were just a baby. I didn’t know much when I married your father. He’d been my first boyfriend and I was very innocent – I didn’t have many expectations about those things. Then, one day Janice bought over this book she’d got – The Joy of Sex. She said it changed her life; she had the hugest grin on her face.’

Mum picked another corner off the Tic Toc. I could just imagine Janice. She
’d always thought she was a bit racy. I nodded at Mum.

‘
I didn’t want to read it, told her to take it away, but she left it here. I hid it away and forgot about it. About a month later, I found it when I was cleaning up. I started looking through it and next thing you know I’d read it from cover to cover.

‘
It got me thinking that maybe things could be different. So, I talked your father into going away for the weekend. I went out and bought some lingerie – a red peek-a-boo bra and a g-string, even some lace-up boots.

‘
We got to the hotel and had for dinner. We even had a glass of wine or two but I wanted to get back to the room. I couldn’t wait to see the expression on your father’s face when we… well…

‘
I told him to wait while I got changed in the bathroom but when I came out he’d fallen asleep on the bed. I thought about waking him. Then I had another idea…

‘
I got the cord off one of the bathrobes and tied his arms to the bedposts. He woke up as I hovered over him, removing his pants. Oh Juliette, it’s funny now but I was so embarrassed at the time. I had my g-string covered bum poked up in his face. He yelled at me, demanding I untie him. But when I did, he jumped up, got dressed then took off, leaving me there alone. I had to call Janice to come get me.’

‘
Oh no. Poor Mum.’ I had to laugh. ‘Your romantic weekend was all ruined. What an old spoilsport Dad was.’

‘
You can say that again. It wasn’t a ruined weekend, though.’ Mum smiled mysteriously. ‘And that’s a story you won’t be hearing.’

I tried my beguiling look again, but Mum
’s mouth was set in a hard line. She swept the biscuit crumbs off the table into her hand and walked over to the bin. The subject really was closed this time.

‘
Do you regret it, Mum? I mean you could have had adventures instead of being stuck home here with me and Dad. Do you wish things had been different?’

Mum stopped for a moment, thinking about it, then shook her head.

‘I don’t think so. I mean, your father could be… difficult but I had you.’ She smiled at me. ‘But you need to make your own decisions. You don’t need to repeat my life. And you don’t have to listen to Craig or anyone else. Work out what
you
want. Now what are you up to this weekend?’

‘
Nothing.’ I thought for a moment. It was Saturday night and I was young and single. I could go to the club and I could have a good time. ‘I might go out for while.’

I burst into the club that night feeling ready for adventure. As I looked around the room though, I got this feeling in the pit of stomach. What now? My only plan had been to get from point A – going to the club, to point B – playing with some willing boy. My plan hadn
’t included the bit in between. The standing around looking like a big dork bit. I hadn’t figured on that bit and, without Imogen and Beth to hang with, I suddenly felt conspicuously alone.

I looking around for Peter, for any friendly face but everyone sat at tables, obscured in the darkness. Short of leaning over leering at them, I couldn
’t recognise a single face. I felt like the new girl at a school where everyone else had been friends since kindergarten. I smiled hopefully at random people without getting a reaction. Maybe smiling was bad, too desperate. I needed to just chill for a while so I grabbed a drink from the bar and positioned myself near the stage, nodding my head as though I was into the music and resisting the urge to pick at my clothes.

How can it feel like a roomful of people are staring at you yet ignoring you at the same time?  Everyone at the table near me broke into howls of laughter. I knew they weren
’t laughing at me – they could be laughing at anything. Still, I wanted to run and hide.

When I saw Mistress Sue standing at the bottom of the stairs, I bounded up to her. Of course I knew someone at the club.

‘I’m Juliette.’ I said, with a huge grin. ‘I met you. A few weeks ago. With Peter.’

She smiled without really looking at me.
‘Ah yes, Juliette.’

‘
I had the best time that night. I’ve never done anything like that before. It was just the best…’ I couldn’t stop myself from raving. ‘I just wanted to say thank you for helping me out.’

‘
No problem,’ she said looking over my shoulder.

‘
Is Peter –’

‘
Excuse me a minute,’ she said, brushing me aside to throw her arms around a young boy standing behind me. I skulked off, hoping no one had noticed. It was far too early to go home but everything seemed flat and tarnished.

Someone walked past the stage – my friend, the girl with her puppy boy. I turned towards her then paused. Maybe she wouldn
’t remember me either. Maybe last time was a once in a lifetime thing and it was time to turn back into the old Juliette – all the magic of the makeover vanishing. I’d gotten used to being visible, now I felt like Cinderella after the clock struck twelve.

I gave myself a pep talk – I could do this, I just had to act confident. Stand tall,
breathe deeply. Radiate coolness. I ran my finger around the edge of my wrist cuff. It was all real. I was the new me.

So, why did I feel I feel like I had too many arms and legs? Why did I wish I could just fade into the background? No one would ever need know if I walked out but I willed myself to stay. I
’d never come back if I lost my nerve now. Things would surely get better.