The Bartered Bride (17 page)

"It's time to leave for the church." Alex took Katie's hand. With Jane on her other side, she left the house for the short walk to the Anglican chapel. The tropical heat was oppressive, but at least the sun was shining. She hoped that was a good omen.

They reached the church precisely on time, as the clock began striking eleven. At the foot of the steps, Alex felt a moment of terrified paralysis. Taking a deep breath, she lifted her skirts so she wouldn't trip, and ascended the stairs. She was a widow and a mother, far too old for childish romantic dreams. Few women were as happy in marriage as her mother and the colonel; most must settle for less, as she had done.

With Edmund, she'd confused a love of adventure with love for the man. This time she was marrying for reasons more of the head than the heart. At least now she was old enough and wise enough to realize what she was doing. She liked, trusted, and respected Gavin. The fact that she found him attractive was merely ... a complication.

Yet when she saw him standing at the altar with Suryo and Benjamin Long, she felt deep regret. Gavin looked like a romantic hero, and he'd acted as one, too. She was the one who was too bruised and scarred for romance.

Chilled to the marrow, she walked down the aisle with Katie and Jane following. Gavin watched so intently that she wondered if he was having second thoughts. But no, there was no uncertainty in his smile when he took her cold hand.

Since there were so few people present, Katie and Jane stood beside her, as Suryo and Benjamin stood by Gavin. The elderly vicar nodded a greeting to the new arrivals, then said in a slow, sonorous voice, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered together ..."

The ceremony was a blur of words, except when Gavin repeated, "With my body I thee worship." She must have flinched, because his hand tightened on hers as he slid the ring on her finger, his grave eyes reminding her of his promise to wait as long as necessary. She managed a smile to say that she trusted him. It amazed her that she could trust a man so much. But Gavin was not like other men. The vicar said, "I pronounce that they be man and wife together." After the final blessing, Gavin said softly, "Man and wife. I like the sound of that, Mrs. Elliott." He raised her left hand and pressed his lips over the wedding ring.

She was Mrs. Elliott now. The words struck her with more finality than the vicar's pronouncement. As Jane Walker shed happy tears, Gavin knelt in front of Katie. "There is no ritual to join us as family, but I wanted a symbol of our new relationship." He drew a small box from his pocket and handed it over ceremoniously "I am blessed to have you as a stepdaughter, Katie."

"And I am glad to have you for a stepfather, Captain," Katie said with equal formality. Opening the box, she gave a purely female gasp of appreciation at the sight of a beautifully made gold locket. Not too elaborate for a child, it was elegant enough to wear even when she grew up. "Thank you! Can I put it on, Mama?"

"Of course." Alex removed the locket from the box and fastened it around her daughter's neck. How thoughtful of Gavin to include Katie. Yes, she'd made the right decision. Now she owed it to him to try to become a true wife.

Even as the wedding breakfast drew to a close, Gavin still hadn't quite absorbed the fact that Alex had actually married him. She'd entered the church looking ready to bolt. A woman who'd fought captivity as furiously as Alex wouldn't have balked at leaving him at the altar if she decided marriage was a mistake. Thank God she hadn't.

As the party rose from the table, Suryo said, "Miss Katie, would you like to go see some elephants?

If you wish, we can ride one."

"Yes, please." Katie smiled mischievously. "Mama and the captain must want to be alone." She hesitated. "Is it all right if I call you Captain instead of Papa?"

"Of course. May I sometimes call you Katybird, as your mother does?"

"I'd like that." Katie bounced from her seat, ready for an adventure. Suryo said, "Perhaps Miss Walker would like to join us? She is surely a better guide to Colombo than I."

Jane agreed and the elephant seekers left, followed by Benjamin Long after a handshake for Gavin and a deep bow to Alex. Finally they were alone. Seeing wariness in Alex's expression, Gavin said, "I thought we might take a walk, too. We can practice answering to 'Captain and Mrs. Elliott'." Alex's expression eased. "I doubt that you need the practice, but I do. And I'd like a chance to see a bit more of the town, since we're leaving tomorrow."

They left the quiet inn where they'd had the wedding breakfast, walking side by side without touching. Except for the night Alex had cried in his arms, she'd avoided physical contact with everyone but Katie. He supposed it was only to be expected.

As they strolled along the quiet street, Gavin remarked, "Ceylon has a colorful history. India, Portugal, Holland, and England have all left their mark. A pity we don't have time to go to the highlands in the interior. It's cooler there, and very beautiful."

"It sounds as if you know Ceylon well."

"I have financial interests in several coffee plantations."

"Still more sources of wealth." She glanced down at her wedding ring. "I'm gaining so much more from this marriage than you are."

He frowned. "Never think that, Alexandra. We must enter marriage as full partners if we want to find mutual satisfaction."

Her mouth twisted. "Full partners. It's difficult to feel that way. I don't like being a ... a taker, with so little to give."

"You give courage, strength, and honesty-pearls beyond price." And a rare, fierce beauty that hardship had only intensified, but he knew she would not believe that if he said so. He lightened his tone.

"I expect you to be the sort of strong-minded wife who will keep me firmly in hand." Her face lit in the truest smile she'd given all day. "I like the sound of that." They came upon a street market brilliant with scents and colors. Sari-clad women, laughing children, baskets of scarlet peppers and rose petals and cardamom. The street was crowded, so Alex drew closer and took his arm. Her clasp was feather soft on his forearm, yet even that slight pressure affected him with absurd intensity.

It was the first time she'd touched him voluntarily-an act of trust on her part, as rare and fragile as a hummingbird. He clamped down on his physical response to her nearness. He'd done it often since they met, and would have to do it countless times more. Perhaps restraint would grow easier in time. "I thought it would be pleasant today to relax and enjoy each other's company without a whole ship's crew within earshot. There's much I'd like to know about you. For example, after your mother remarried and you stopped following the drum, where did you live? "

"Mostly in Wales, where the colonel owns an estate in the most beautiful valley in Britain." A mischievous light showed in her eyes. "I just realized I'm going down in the world. My mother married a colonel, while I have settled for a mere captain."

He laughed, delighted at her teasing. "A navy captain is the equivalent of an army colonel, isn't he?

Though as a mere merchant, I've no proper rank even though Katie wants to call me 'Captain'. I suppose she got that from the way you call your stepfather 'the colonel'."

"It comes from growing up in a military tradition," she explained. "A man's rank is such an important part of who he is. My father was a cavalry officer, my stepfather commanded an infantry regiment at Waterloo and he met my mother when she nursed him after he was wounded. The sound of drums shaped my whole childhood."

"Until you settled in the peaceful hills of Wales."

"With occasional visits to my great-grandfather, who lived on an island off Cornwall, and to London, so I wouldn't grow up a complete rustic. What about you? Where did you live before your family emigrated to America? "

"Mostly in Aberdeen, watching the North Sea. I suppose we'll need a house in London since I'll be working there, but I'd also like to find a country place by the water."

"I agree. London is delightful in small doses, but escaping to the country is necessary for sanity."

"Were you happy in your first marriage?" He knew he probably shouldn't ask, but wanted to know the answer.

She sighed a little. "Edmund was somewhat older than I. Accustomed to being master of all around him. Sometimes that caused ... tension. I don't think it occurred to him to wonder how a woman's mind worked. But he was very reliable and he took good care of Katie and me. When he died ..." her voice faltered. "He was always so strong. I had trouble believing that a fever could take him so suddenly. It was as if the earth beneath my feet had suddenly cracked open."

So she'd had a solid marriage, but not a fairy-tale romance that Gavin would never be able to match. He was glad to know that, even as he acknowledged that Alex might feel it would be difficult to measure up to Helena. Knowing that must be addressed, he said slowly, "I think you know how much I loved Helena. But that doesn't make what is between you and me any less real, or less valuable."

"Were you full partners in your first marriage?"

He had to think about the answer. "You and she are so different that the words don't mean the same thing. Helena and I were young together, and we discovered life and marriage together. You and I-we bring each other our experiences. Our scars, our opinions, and I hope our compassion. We will be partners in a different way."

Her fingers tightened on his arm. "What an extraordinary man you are. I didn't know that couples ever discussed things like this."

"Not even your parents?"

"Certainly my mother and father didn't," she said slowly. "My father was a fine cavalryman, but not profound. My mother and the colonel must have these kinds of conversations, though, to be as close as they are. How strange that I never guessed that. Until now, it has been outside my experience. Already this marriage is an education."

"I hope we continue to teach each other throughout our marriage." Their walking had brought them to a small, lushly green park. Since there was no one else in sight, he said, "May I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"May I kiss you?"

She became still as a statue for the space of a dozen heartbeats. "I ... I suppose that's little enough to ask on our wedding day."

Very carefully, she stepped up to him and raised her face for a kiss. Her lips were soft, a little anxious, brave. Warm, so irresistibly warm ...

Forcing desire down, he made the kiss long but light, with no demand or invasion. Gradually she relaxed. He rested his hands on her waist, feeling her lithe strength through the cream-coiored fabric of her gown.

Since she didn't seem to mind that, he slid his arms around her. Every muscle in her body tensed. He returned his hands to her waist, guessing that she didn't like feeling enfolded. Trapped. With a last butterfly kiss along her elegant cheekbone, he ended the embrace before he forgot all his good intentions. "Thank you, Alexandra," he murmured.

"You're welcome." She touched her mouth with her fingertips uncertainly. "That was ... very nice." A wedding kiss was a poor substitute for consummation-but it was a beginning.

Alex found Gavin to be a pleasant and undemanding husband. Ever since boarding the ship, she and Katie had eaten with the officer's mess. Though they continued to do that for breakfast and the midday meal, now they had supper as a family in the captain's cabin.

Supper quickly evolved into spending the evening together, at least until Katie's bedtime. They would play simple card games, or Alex would read stories, which Gavin and Katie both enjoyed. Sometimes Gavin told Katie of his travels in what became informal lessons in geography. Alex enjoyed his tales even more than her daughter. Not only was Gavin a droll storyteller, but she learned more about him through his tales of long voyages, exotic destinations, successes and failures. She'd known he was a remarkable man, and his lighthearted, often self-deprecating anecdotes only made her appreciate him more.

A new husband, barely a year after Edmund's death. She could never have imagined that. She tried not to think what her life might have been like if she'd met Gavin when she was eighteen, instead of Edmund, because she suspected that she would have fallen deeply into love with him-the forever kind of love that was now beyond her.

Even if they had met later, if the Helena had called at Sydney when Alex was looking for passage back to London, passionate love might have been possible. There would have been no slavery, no terrifying separation from her daughter. Just a long voyage when two widowed but basically normal people could have slowly come to know and appreciate each other.

Instead she was scarred to the soul, and Gavin, despite his protests, had married her from pity, as someone might take in an injured cat or dog. Whenever she got to that point, she reminded herself that without disaster, they might never have become well acquainted. They could have spent twelve thousand miles addressing each other as Mrs. Warren and Captain Elliott, strangers from beginning to end. She and Katie would have been better off if they'd had that peaceful passage home-yet not knowing Gavin's character and compassion would have been a loss. She must simply accept what had happened, and do her best with it.

They crossed most of the Indian Ocean before seeing another set of sails. Gavin invited Alex and Katie up to the deck as the other ship neared its closest approach to their course. As it dipped a signal flag in greeting, he asked, "Can you tell what flag the ship is flying, Katie?" She shaded her eyes with her hand. "Dutch?"

"Very good." He frowned as he studied the ship, which was close enough to see men moving about the quarterdeck. "My guess is that the ship was built in Portugal, with modifications made in the East over a number of years."

"You can read a ship like a book," Alex commented.

He grinned. "There often isn't much else to do out here."

"The ocean is very, very large, isn't it?" Katie said solemnly.

"It is indeed, Katybird," Gavin replied. "I know a New England ship owner who actually met one of his other ships in the Mediterranean, an event so rare that we're still talking about it. As you know, mostly we only see the sea."