was little more than a fetish dating site. I, along with probably thousands of
women, got conned real good for that.”
“Ty—”
“But I can’t pin it all on the site, can I? There’s something to be said for
when a man looks at you with lust…knowing that for at least a few hours, you
are desirable and wanted…you’re good enough for
somebody
for some time…”
Gunnar couldn’t take listening to anymore, so he kissed her softly into si-
lence. Tyler broke the kiss quickly though, shaking her head and trying to
move from his lap.
“No…”
“Tyler, look at me.”
“No.”
Savannah J. Frierson
Gunnar turned her face to his anyway, cursing the boy from eighth grade,
Quincy Lucas, those later men, himself…society in general. What was wrong
with people they couldn’t just accept others for who they were? He’d also been
caught up in the madness. Living in LA and being a model…it’d been hard not
to treat image as king, and most people were so vapid or vindictive that all one
had
was looks. He’d been brainwashed and jaded into that thinking, and he’d
almost missed out on knowing, to him, one of the most beautiful women he’d
ever met.
“Tyler—”
“It’s hard enough to be a black woman in the dating game,” she started, as
if she hadn’t heard him, or if she had, she didn’t want to hear what he had to
say. “And then you’re thick on top of it. So that’s an automatic two strikes
against you. I know I said I came to your gym to get healthy, but I would be
lying if I didn’t admit there was some aesthetic motivation going on too—”
“You’re beautiful, Tyler,” Gunnar blurted.
She snorted and nodded sarcastically. “Quincy said that too. Said he loved
the way I looked. Yesterday.
Yesterday
. Took me to a fancy restaurant to butter
me up…as if six fuckin’ years hadn’t passed—”
Gunnar kissed her again,
definitely
in no mood to hear about Quincy Lucas’s
attempts to right a very gross wrong.
When they broke the kiss, it seemed as if her eyes had gone even flatter.
“Don’t tell me you have a fat fetish too.”
“I have a Tyler fetish,” Gunnar said.
“Right…”
He framed her face with tender hands, his thumbs ghosting over the phan-
tom tear tracks on her cheeks. “Okay, so fetish is
really
not the right word.
Maybe addiction? Compulsion? Necessity? Desire? All the above?” He sighed
and touched his forehead to hers. “When I heard you cry on my machine, all I
thought about was you. Fuck my hangover or the fact I’d barely slept or the
fact I hadn’t eaten since five the night before…you needed me, and I needed to
be there for you.”
“I’d call to cancel,” she whispered, though Gunnar knew it was more for
her benefit than his.
“I don’t want you to cancel on me,” he said, drifting his nose along hers.
“Never, ever that.”
“And what about when those few hours are up?” Tyler said, pulling back
and looking at him sadly. “When that desire fades…what then, Gunnar?”
He could tell her that he doubted his desire would ever fade, that other
emotions would grow…that he could admit to feeling what Damon had said he
felt.
But she wouldn’t believe him anyway.
The Beauty Within
103
Tyler made to leave his lap and this time he let her. He sat up, his forearms
resting on the tops of his thighs, and he watched her stare at him with her
arms hugging her body.
“What would you like to eat?”
She left him sitting there, however, not waiting for him to answer.
Talk about verbal diarrhea at its finest! Tyler hit the heel of her hand
against her forehead repeatedly as she put the frozen pizza in the oven. Maybe
she could stay in here for the full thirty minutes…avoid the man who was
sitting in her den setting up a “movie marathon” for them to watch as they ate
their late lunch/early dinner.
When she’d called to cancel the session, the absolute last thing she’d ex-
pected was for Gunnar to come to see how she was. Because of the uneasy
tenor in their relationship recently, she’d started to put Gunnar in the “former”
list. The scarier thing about that, however, was his entry would’ve been the
second one that would’ve had a big impact on her life. Of course, the first was
the man who had started this “woe is me” funk in the first place.
She couldn’t believe Damon had opened his big mouth and told Gunnar
about Quincy! And knowing Damon, he probably exaggerated a whole bunch
of things to make Quincy come off as Satan himself! Though to be fair, she’d
felt he was when they had broken up; and if she were honest with herself, she
wasn’t quite sure if that opinion had changed overly much.
The date had been interesting and confusing and conflicting and nothing
like the make-up fantasies she’d had. Resentment? yes. Wistfulness? definitely.
Unmitigated joy? not so much. What was wrong with her that she couldn’t
revel in an ex-boyfriend’s unhappiness? She’d been miserable for the better
part of six years, and the knowledge he hadn’t been happy either didn’t have
her screaming, “How you like
them
apples!” as she had assumed it would.
She still cared for Quincy, against her better judgment and sound logic. She
couldn’t brush him off as she had with all the other men she’d known, maybe
because part of her believed what he said about having feelings for her. Perhaps
it was wishful thinking on her part, but she’d needed to hear what they had
shared wasn’t as forgettable as he’d tried to think when they had ended. It
seemed he’d believed their breakup was only temporary, but unfortunately for
Quincy, her heart hadn’t been able to wait.
Maybe her love for Quincy wasn’t as strong as she thought it had been,
after all.
“I hope you don’t plan on hiding out in here.”
Tyler jumped slightly and turned to the kitchen door. Gunnar filled up the
space so completely. Though he didn’t have Quincy’s full height, he was not a
104
Savannah J. Frierson
short man by any stretch, and the muscles he had more than made up for the
lack of length.
It was awful to say there were distinct similarities between Quincy and
Gunnar, the main of which was the fact that whenever they had touched her
she would always feel like the only woman in the world to them. The differ-
ence was, Quincy had made her feel that way in the past, while Gunnar made
her feel that way
now
.
She tried not to entertain thoughts of relationships, especially not with
Gunnar Daniels. She saw even less of a chance of that future than with getting
back with Quincy. If Quincy had had a problem dating her, how in the world
would this white, gorgeous, personal trainer-gym owner not have a problem
with her, either?
He approached her slowly, but she had unwittingly fit herself into a cor-
ner, and his eyes practically pinned her to the floor.
“Are you hiding from me?” he asked, though there was some amusement in
his voice.
“Waiting for the pizza.”
“Doesn’t it take about thirty minutes for these things to cook?”
She didn’t answer him.
He shrugged and stood next to her, his elbows resting against the counter
and his legs crossed at his ankles. “Well then, I’ll wait with you. Doesn’t make
sense to start the movie only to stop it because you need to get food.”
She stared at the refrigerator while he stared at her, neither speaking much
as the minutes ticked. It was disconcerting to feel his gaze on her, but not in an
overly negative way. He began whistling, and she grinned. He was good at it.
“Is that a smile?”
Tyler pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, but her mouth’s corners
were upturned anyway.
“You can’t hide it,
elskling
,” Gunnar said, touching one corner of her smile.
“You’re smiling.”
His finger went from the corner to the meaty center of her lip, and Tyler
closed her eyes. Little zings emanated from the spot where he touched her, and
she bit her tongue so she wouldn’t drift it over his finger.
“Quincy Lucas
er
dum
,” he murmured, so softly she sensed he hadn’t meant
that comment to be audible.
“What did you say?”
He gave her a small smile and kissed her nose. “Quincy Lucas is a fool.”
Unable to help herself, she set gentle hands at his waist. He smiled and
moved his nose to rub against hers.
She’d missed the closeness and intimacy with another person…another
man. She missed someone holding her as if she were the most precious thing in
the world. She missed being someone’s most precious thing. At first, she’d been
her father’s, though she rightfully shared that spot with Wendy. Then she’d
The Beauty Within
105
been Quincy’s, until he’d found a more “precious” thing, being his job and
ambition. God help her if she were to become Gunnar’s precious thing…she
didn’t know if she would be able to handle it.
“The pizza smells good,” Gunnar whispered against her temple. He’d
brought her deep in the circle of his arms, and Tyler felt so warm and safe
inside them. His muscles were hard and yielding at the same time, and it was
all she could do not to burrow her cheek against his shoulder and chest.
“It’s actually the store brand,” Tyler confessed. “Healthier…I thought of you
when I bought it.”
“Hmm,” Gunnar said with amusement. “What else do you buy while think-
ing of me?”
She would
not
dignify that with a response, but since he chuckled and
kissed the top of her head, Tyler realized he hadn’t been expecting one.
They remained standing that way, with Gunnar rubbing her back at times,
until the pizza was done. She pulled it out while he took down dishes and
filled glasses with water. They sat on the couch in front of the television once
everything was settled. The first movie of the marathon was
The Matrix
.
Tyler smiled internally at the choice. It had been a long time since she’d
seen it, and she was glad Gunnar had chosen action instead of something either
sappy or serious. They ate their pizza in silence as they watched the movie,
Gunnar getting up at one point to get napkins and telling her she didn’t need
to pause the movie. When they finished eating, they waited until the movie
ended to clean the dishes together, Gunnar standing very close to her as he had
before. She was just as nervous this time as she had been the last, but along
with it, there was tension she knew only he could break.
Tyler mentally chastised herself. She knew she was in a vulnerable state,
and she wouldn’t put herself in a position to be used again. Not that she
thought Gunnar was the type, but right now, at that moment, sexual comfort
was the last thing she needed. Yes, it had been two years since her last sexual
experience, and Gunnar had been the first man besides Quincy for whom she’d
had real feelings, but she would be doing him and herself a disservice if she
gave into the attraction she felt for him today.
Tomorrow, however, was fair game.
Damp hands closed over her shoulders and squeezed. “Come back…”
He’d said it as if he were an echo, causing Tyler to laugh and slap his fo-
rearm. “What’s the next movie?”
Gunnar waggled his eyebrows and took her hand as they returned to the
den. He sat her on the couch before going to her DVD player and putting in
another movie. As soon as the previews came up she grinned broadly.
“Good choice, Mr. Daniels,” she commended.
“Touché, Ms. Carver.”
Coming to America
would never be unfunny, and both were cracking up as if
it had been the first time they had ever seen it. Tyler was dying at the fact
106
Savannah J. Frierson
Gunnar could do the impressions to a tee, and soon they were both saying the
lines in time with the actors on the screen. Even after the movie ended, they
were still reciting dialogue.
“I needed that,” Tyler said, wiping away a tear as she leaned back against
the couch.
“That’s partly why I chose it. To see your smile and hear your laugh.”
Tyler’s smile softened as she looked at the bookcase across from her. He
was full of surprises. “I can’t believe you knew all the words!”
“Are you kidding? The movie’s a classic! You know how many times me
and the guys would watch this instead of game footage? If we really got drunk
enough, we’d even act them out!”
Tyler giggled and pressed a hand to her eyes. “What I wouldn’t give to see
that!”
Lips on her temple made her pull her hand away from her face in surprise.
“Maybe you will, yet” he said with a wink. Gunnar stood and put another
movie in the player, but she didn’t ask what the film was. He’d been two for
two so far, so she would wait to be pleasantly surprised.
She chuckled when she realized what the movie was. “You’re determined
to get me to laugh, aren’t you?”
“Yup.”
“You could just tickle me and—” Damn. She should’ve never told him that,
especially since he’d raised an eyebrow and gave her an appraising, calculating