conversation’.
What
? I’m his
girlfriend
and
you’re
my
sister
! I have a right to know what they were talking about!”
“What does me being your sister have to do with anything?” Tyler had
asked absently, snipping at Wendy’s hair.
“You know that boy was callin’ Damon to talk about
you
. Don’t be purpose-
fully dense, Tyler!”
86
Savannah J. Frierson
Tyler’s nostrils flared, but she said nothing. There was no point, really.
Gunnar had moved on from…whatever they had been. Friends. More than. The
potential for more than.
Tyler didn’t want to think about it anymore.
Tyler was grateful when Wendy moved the topic to random bits of news-
room gossip, and she was mildly interested in the fact the anchorwoman on the
newscast was apparently pregnant by the weatherman…who was decidedly
not
her husband. How Wendy knew this, Tyler didn’t particularly want to know,
but Tyler did feel a little shame at the relief she gained from knowing people
had a bit more issues in their lives than she did right then.
Wendy turned out to be her last customer of the day, and Tyler had in-
sisted her sister go home…no need to baby-sit as she nursed her bruised ego or
the hope Gunnar would walk through the door for a haircut…or to talk.
Of course, that never happened. What did, however, was Tyler, in the low-
est point of her weakness, taking out the card she’d stuffed in her smock’s
pockets and dialed the number on the back of it.
She had a date with Quincy Lucas, the first in six years.
“I am an idiot,” Tyler whispered to herself as she sprayed perfume on her
neck. Her hair was free about her head, and she wore a strapless black blouse
with matching black slacks, dressy but not too dressy. She wore a pearl
necklace, a gift from her father some years back, to break up the monotony of
her attire, and her lips and cheeks were a falu red. She looked good, and she
knew it, but part of her wondered if her appearance were more for herself or to
make sure Quincy knew what he’d been missing for all this time.
“Probably nothin’,” Tyler muttered, scowling at her reflection. “Probably all
happy with that high-yella, weave-wearin’ heffa o’ his…”
She’d try not to let her bitterness show too much throughout the dinner.
Quincy, however, seemed to be on a mission to make her know what she’d
been missing herself. He approached her door two minutes before he said he
would, and when she opened it, he presented her with a yellow rose, her
favorite.
“You remembered,” Tyler said, mildly surprised and unable to stop the tiny
smile that formed on her face.
“As if I could ever forget you,” he said in a tone that, had they been dating,
would’ve made them late for their reservations. Instead, Tyler stuck the flower
in the vase resting on the end table next to the door, grabbed her jacket, and
left the house. He’d promised her good food, and she wouldn’t turn that down,
no matter how smarmy the company was turning out to be.
True to his word, they were dining in one of Durham’s trendiest Italian
restaurants. Tyler could barely pronounce the name, but the aroma had hit her
nose before they’d even walked through the door, and Tyler eagerly anticipated
her meal. Ever the gentleman, Quincy opened doors, pulled out chairs, and
even ordered for her—something Tyler normally wouldn’t let a man do for her.
The Beauty Within
87
But Quincy wasn’t just any man, and the fact he’d remembered her tastes made
her heart flutter against her wishes.
“I did all right, didn’t I?” he asked a little smugly. The candlelight on the
table brought out the rich tones of his dark skin, and Tyler gripped her glass.
He’d always had soft skin, the kind that was perfect for nuzzling and kissing.
He’d worn her favorite cologne of his as well—the one he’d worn on their very
first date no less.
Gauntlet, thrown.
“Why did you want to see me?” Tyler asked instead. “Does your girlfriend
know you’re here with me?” A paralegal at the law firm who Tyler had met
briefly at the one and only firm function Quincy had taken her. She’d been
wary at the lustful look in the other woman’s eyes whenever she had stared at
Quincy, and Tyler had soon learned there was a very good reason as to why.
Quincy met her eyes full on. “Michelle and I broke up three years ago.”
“Three years ago?”
“Yes. It didn’t work out.”
Tyler quirked an eyebrow and took a sip of her water. “So sorry to hear
that.”
“Liar.”
Tyler shrugged. “I could’ve told you it wasn’t going to work out, but I
didn’t want to come off as the jealous, betrayed, scorned ex-girlfriend…”
Quincy chuckled and nodded. “You’re right. I probably wouldn’t have be-
lieved you then.”
“At least you admit it.”
“There are a lot of things I need to admit,” Quincy said, his eyes locked
with hers. “So many things…”
Tyler sighed and sat back a little in her seat, smiling as the server poured
sweet tea in her glass and put a basket of garlic bread and olive oil in the center
of the table. This should all be water under the bridge, but the bridge Tyler had
built between the break up and now was rickety and fragile. She had a feeling
whatever Quincy was about to say would send that bridge and her tumbling
into those murky waters of memories and heartbreak once more.
“Don’t—”
“I’ve been very successful at the firm,” he began, taking a piece of bread
from the basket and pouring some olive oil on his plate. He broke off a piece of
bread and spread it in the oil, staring at it briefly. “I moved up the ranks, so
now I’m being considered for partner.”
“Congratulations,” Tyler said, genuinely proud of him. He’d always been
sharp, shrewd, and had a head for the law. During long study sessions, Tyler
had encouraged him whenever he’d felt burned out, telling him he would make
an excellent lawyer, one who was fair, just, and competent at what he did. She
felt a little smug she’d been proven right, even if she had to be collateral
damage toward his success.
88
Savannah J. Frierson
“All of my accomplishments don’t really mean anything, however,” he said,
his focus completely on her, “at least, not as much as they should.”
“Why not? This is what you worked for, all those nights in the library, all
those heavy books you bought, all that studying and focus—”
“You were there with me, Tyler. You. None of these things mean anything
now because I don’t have you to share them with.”
She gaped; she couldn’t help it. Even when the server put their plates in
front of them, Tyler barely noticed because she couldn’t believe Quincy’s
audacity.
Now
he decided to say the words she’d longed to hear for six long
years?
Now
, when she was starting to
really
move on to someone else?
“You’ve got to be joking,” Tyler said after the immediate shock dissipated.
“I’m not.”
“Well, even if you weren’t, so what? What does this change?”
“I told you the break up was only temporary…until I could make my
mark—”
“You thought I’d wait for you.” It wasn’t a question, but to hear her
thoughts confirmed wasn’t a good feeling. “You thought it would be all right
for you to date other women while I stayed here, miserable, alone, twiddling
my thumbs until you returned?”
Quincy frowned slightly. “Not exactly—”
“No.
Exactly
. You thought I’d be sitting at home waiting for you.”
He reached across the table and held her hand, his grip firm and nice de-
spite the fact she wished it weren’t. “You want the truth?”
“That would be nice.”
His thumb ran across her knuckles. “I thought it didn’t matter if you were
dating someone or not, because what we had was out of this world, Tyler. You
were my first love, my boo, and what we had was so good it could never be
duplicated. I came prepared to fight for you, Tyler. I’m not going to let you
walk out of my life like I did before.”
He had that determined look in his eyes that she’d found so sexy when
they were together. Now, it just annoyed her. “I didn’t walk out. You kicked
me out and threw my heart on the curb with me.”
His face fell slightly but he didn’t let go of her hand. “I know. I was an ass
and I let my ambition blind me.”
“Right. So now that you’re up for partner, you think it would be okay to
drag me back out into the sun, huh?”
“Tyler—”
“I look the same from six years ago, Quincy. I’m still fat, still dark, still nat-
ural. Sill
me
. If I wasn’t good for you before, how the hell would I be good for
you now?”
“You’re not fat—”
“I’m not skinny.”
“You carry your weight well. In fact, looks like you’ve lost some to me.”
The Beauty Within
89
“That’s
so
much better!”
Quincy sighed. “I’ve always loved the way you look, Tyler.”
“Until your boss said you needed someone more ‘appropriate’, right?
Someone who looked like she took care of herself. ‘Image is important’,
remember you said that to me…on the
phone
…as I prepared for my
father’s
funeral
?”
Quincy dropped his head and removed his hand from hers. “The timing,
perhaps, was a little off.”
“You think?”
“Don’t you think we could move past this? I thought you’d be over it by
now, but clearly I was wrong.”
Tyler blinked slowly and moved her head to the side. “
Over
it?” she re-
peated, her voice no more than a whisper. Throughout all of this, they hadn’t
touched their food, and she wasn’t particularly hungry now. “Negro, you ’bout
five seconds away from me going into Angry Black Woman mode. Check
yourself.”
They stared at each other for a few beats, then Quincy glanced at her plate.
“Are you going to eat?”
“Not hungry.”
“Doggie bag?”
Against her wishes, Tyler grinned at the label. He might be a hotshot law-
yer now, but he still had glimpses of the man she used to love. Perhaps that
was why she was so angry and torn. He hadn’t fully committed to being a jerk,
and his flashes of sweetness always brought out those latent tender feelings
she felt for him.
“Yeah. Wrap it up.”
Thirty minutes later, they were back in her driveway, the ride from the res-
taurant just as quiet as the trip to it. She picked up the white paper bag that
had her takeout, the contents still warm since neither had eaten dinner.
“Um, thanks,” Tyler murmured, getting out the car. She’d wanted a clean
getaway, but Quincy refused to grant it to her.
“Let me walk you to your door.”
“I’m fine, Quincy.”
“Please, Tyler.”
Clearly she was a sucker for chivalry, for she nodded and let him fall into
step with her. She reached the door and put the key into the lock, but his arms
came around her body and his hands closed around hers.
“I’m sorry.”
That soft tone, the tone he’d used when he’d broken up with her, dragged
out the maelstrom of emotions she’d been feeling all night. She sniffled, and he
turned her around to face him.
“I was a fool.”
Savannah J. Frierson
“First step is admitting it,” she cracked, hurriedly wiping away a tear that
fell down her cheek.
“I went about this all wrong.”
“Second step.”
“You haven’t forgiven me.”
“And for what would I forgive you?”
“Putting things on hold between us.”
“
On hold
?” Tyler let out a bark of laughter. He still didn’t get it. “No. That
was just the icing on the proverbial cake. I’m mad you completely dismissed
me, betrayed me, belittled me,
disregarded
me and the love I felt for you. As if I
was incidental and expendable and
replaceable
. As if the love I felt for you,
the
love we shared
, wasn’t worth
shit
.”
As she spoke, he’d backed away from her, the force of her anger and hurt
hitting him fully. She hadn’t even raised her voice, but she’d long passed the
point of ranting and raving. This was just resignation now.
“I didn’t go about it right,” Quincy mumbled.
“How is there a right way to break someone’s heart, Quincy?”
“I didn’t mean to—”
“But you did,” she said quietly. “My feelings weren’t as important as your
goals. The fact you let some man who deemed me not beautiful enough or slim
enough or light enough or have enough ‘good hair’…convince you that I would
be a
liability
when I was the one who
helped your ass get that internship
. I don’t care
if he was your mentor, either! It’s like you had selective amnesia, took all leave
of your senses, and let that man’s self-doubts about being black in a predomi-
nately white firm affect
our
relationship. You were supposed to stand up for
me, but you didn’t.
That’s
what hurts the most, Quincy.”
It felt good to say everything she’d wanted to say to him that fateful day on