The Beginning of Us (127 page)

How did he know me so well? Why did he do all of those tests?

Why did he say all of those things?

Why did he say he loved me?

“I think you need to tell me everything.”

He looked back at me and I could see the pain in his eyes. “Why? It won’t change anything. I’m married to your sister remember? I’m a fucking horrible person!”

“I never said that!” I reached for him, but he pulled away.

“You didn’t have to say it, Will. I can see it in your eyes.”

I threw my hands up. “I don’t get you. You played me for the last twenty four hours. You knew it was me, but let me think I was…”

“You were Ivy. Yeah, I get that. It was only so I could spend time with you. I knew you wouldn’t stay if I told you. I knew you wouldn’t be here with me right now. You’re too good of a person, too good of a sister to be with me. I get it, okay!”

He stood up and started walking away from me, leaving me standing in the same place without any explanation of what was really going on.

I put my hands on my hips. “You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to be mad at me, Stoshua. I came all this way to help my sister, not be caught up in some game that the two of you are playing.” I was getting angrier by the second.

“This isn’t a game! Not anymore!”

Chapter 6

Dirty Little Secrets and Liars Unite.

He wasn’t going to let me walk this time. I knew it because he grabbed me by the arm and made me look at him. I was so hurt and confused. There couldn’t be a reason that I would be able to forgive him. He’d purposely betrayed my sister and so had I. I felt wretched inside.

“Will, I swear that I’ve thought about you, every minute of every day. I know you don’t believe that, but it’s the truth.”

I shook my head. “This isn’t happening. You picked her, Stosh! You picked my sister. I was right there, waiting for you to want me. Your decision crushed me. I left because of it. I left because of you!”

I knew my words were hurtful, but it was the honest truth. I didn’t get how he was going to stand there professing his love for me when I’d watched him choose my sister. His put his hands up. “This is so fucked up!”

“Yeah, it is.” I wiped my tears away. “Please, just take me home.”

He scrunched up his face and nodded. “If that’s what you want.”

I refused to look his way. “It is!”

A couple minutes later, I heard the anchor being pulled up. He was cussing under his breath as he walked over and started the engine.

My body was profusely shaking and I had no idea what had just taken place. I wasn’t sure whether to drink more wine, or crawl in a ball and cry. I was a wreck.

It was so dark out on the water and after about thirty minutes, we got to an area where there were no other boats. I was randomly watching out the small window.

I saw him coming underneath, even before he spoke. “Will, I can’t do this. I can’t take you back without you hearing me out.”

He sat down across from me and put his hands on his knees.

“What could you possibly say to make any of this better. I almost slept with you. Do you have any idea how bad that could have been?”

He let out an air filled laugh and scratched his head. “Actually, I think it would have been epic.”

“Shut up! My God, I can’t believe that I’ve been in love with such a douche for all these years.” My eyes went right to him, as we both realized what I had said.

“So you admit it?”

I threw my hands up. “It isn’t like it was a big secret.”

“Bullshit! That’s where this whole thing began. If you would have been honest about it, we wouldn’t be sitting here arguing.”

I was getting angrier by the second. “Oh yeah? Where would we be?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. I guess married, with a couple of kids. Or maybe we’d be graduating college together. You know I never wanted to be a part of my father’s business.”

“What did you say?”

“The part about the business?”

I shook my head again. “No, the other thing.”

“I said we’d be together. You’d be my wife, because that’s how it always should have been. It’s always been you, Willow.”

I don’t know whether the moment was just too intense, or his words melted my heart, but I threw myself at him. My arms flew around his neck and I just hugged him as tight as I could. I couldn’t control the tears that were falling down my face and I don’t think I even cared. When I felt Stosh’s arms wrapping around me, I knew he was telling me the truth.

He grabbed my face and held both hands on my cheeks. “I can’t imagine what you must be thinking, but I can assure you that I didn’t know. I didn’t know how you felt about me, not until recently.”

I pulled away. “What do you mean?”

He touched my lips with his fingertips. A single tear fell down on his cheek. “Please kiss me. Even if you hate me, right now. I just need to feel your lips on mine, one more time.”

I leaned in slowly and let my lips touch his. I held them there, letting the room fill with emotions. “Talk to me.”

He grabbed both of my hands and looked down at them. “I really did fall for you that first day we met. There was just something about you. I mean, you were the whole package. You were beautiful and brilliant. You knew what you wanted in life and I admired that nothing could stop you from getting it.”

I was blushing, hearing him put me on a pedestal. “I appreciate that you noticed me. Nobody ever noticed me.”

“Are you kidding, Will? Everyone noticed you. They were just too afraid to approach you because you were so out of their league.”

“Yeah right.” They thought I was a nerd.

“Okay. You weren’t the one who had to hear about it every time I went into the locker room. I think the whole football team wanted to nail you.” He rolled his eyes, like hearing it annoyed him.

“Yeah right. They made fun of me.”

“Who told you that?”

“Who do you think.” Ivy told me everything. We were best friends. We talked about everything.

“Yeah, well you can add that to the list of lies.” He started picking up and putting the leftovers away in the refrigerator.

I walked over and stuck a plate in the sink. “What are you talking about?”

He turned around and wiped his hands off on a dish cloth. “Your sister is a liar, Willow. If you knew the web she’s spun, you’d never be taking up for her.”

I put my hands on my hips. “You’re just saying that.”

“No, I’m not. Sit down and I’ll give you a hundred reasons.” He was scaring me. Surely he couldn’t have a hundred reasons for me to hate my sister. He had to be the liar.

“No! She wouldn’t. Ivy’s a lot of things, but she’s not a liar!”

“Wake up, Willow! She’s the fucking Devil!” He picked up a plate and slammed it down so hard it shattered inside of the sink. Then he held on to the edge of the countertop like he was trying to control his anger.

I tried to touch his shoulder, but he pulled away. “Obviously, she’s done something to anger you.”

“That’s not even the half of it.” He turned around and looked at me, but didn’t touch me. “I could tell you what I know. I’m sure there’s more. Hell, I just found out about some of it this past week.” He grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator and handed me one. “I don’t know if you like beer. I should, but that was taken away from me too.”

He walked back up topside. I followed close behind him. As much as I was confused and angry, I was also curious. If my sister was lying, I deserved to know. I had to be there to take up for her when he tried to drag her in the mud behind her back.

We sat down across from each other. He drank half of his beer while never taking his eyes off of me. I played with my bottle, peeling the wrapper off. “I’m listening.”

He started laughing. “Have you ever felt sorry for someone, so much that you want to be the one to help them?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, I do save my sister whenever she calls.”

He made a sound and shook his head. “Not after tonight.” He took another drink. “Everything changes tonight!”

I cocked my eyebrow. “Are you going to explain why you think that?”

“Do remember when you saw me with your sister before Prom?”

When he shattered my heart? Yeah, I remembered it in detail. “I think so.”

“She told you we were going together. I never asked her to go with me, Willow. I gave her a letter that I wrote for you. I wanted to ask you to Prom, but I couldn’t find the words. You were so determined to stay focused on school. You never talked about Prom or any other dance. So, when your sister laughed in my face and read the note in front of me, I felt like a fool. She said you told her that I’d never be anything more than a friend. She said you weren’t attracted to me and that I didn’t have a chance with someone like you. She said you didn’t like jocks and that dating was the last thing on your mind.”

I started shaking my head. A new set of tears filled my eyes. “She wouldn’t! I mean, I didn’t tell her I liked you, but I didn’t want her to know.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Tell me why you didn’t want her to know. Better yet, let me tell you why I think you didn’t tell her. I think you were afraid to tell her because she always had to have what you had. I think you were afraid she’d try to take me for herself.”

What a douche. “Do you hear yourself? You’re making it sound like you are royalty.”

“Would you just listen?” He sat his beer down and grabbed my hands again. I started to pull away, but he held them tighter. “You know I’m right. Trust me, I’ve lived with her for four years. All she does is take what she wants.”

I gritted my teeth. “Fine. Say that was the reason. It still doesn’t explain why she would do that. She didn’t even know.”

“I thought about her motives, too. I guess she could have had two reasons. She could have just wanted to sabotage your chance of happiness before you had it, or, maybe she knew how you felt without telling her. I think she did it to spite you.”

I stood up, pulling my hands away from him. “You’re an asshole!”

He chased me to the front of the boat. When I was cornered, I had to turn around. “Take me home or I swear I will jump and start swimming.”

He just stood there. “You wouldn’t!”

I climbed up and steadied myself to take the leap. I was so angry at him for accusing her. I couldn’t see his sincerity. All I saw was him trying to swoon me into believing she could be so evil.

I felt him grab me and throw me over his shoulder. I kicked and screamed, but he refused to let me down. Once we were in the bedroom, he tossed me down onto the bed and climbed on top of me. He was intent and I was afraid. I’d never seen him look the way he was. He grabbed my arms and put them above my head. He straddled me with his heavy body. I couldn’t move.

“Let go of me, Stosh. You’re scaring me!”

“I don’t have a choice. You won’t listen. Why can’t you just hear me out, Will?”

I realized he wasn’t going to get up unless I agreed to listen to him. I didn’t think he was going to physically hurt me, but I was a little concerned about his motives. “I’ll listen.”

He leaned down and kissed me, holding his lips over mine. I turned to the side to break away. I hated that he was in total control. It was like he brought me here to take advantage of me. I was alone and nobody could help me.

Was this the same man that I had always been in love with? Was he capable of being someone else? Maybe my sister was running from him.

“I never agreed to go to Prom with your sister until she started crying, saying that she didn’t have a date. She said we should go as friends. She told me it would make you jealous and make you want me. My stupid ass believed her. I was willing to pretend to be with her, if I had a chance to be with you.”

He finally sat up and stopped holding me. I didn’t try to move away from him, though. “That kiss outside of Biology?”

“I knew it was you the whole time.”

The butterflies were back. Unless he was really a twisted person, his story was making complete sense. I’d always wondered why he’d kissed me. It wasn’t to put on a show for the teachers. He wanted a chance to kiss me, not Ivy. “That’s why she wasn’t mad when I told her?”

“Now you’re catching on.” He smiled, like he had finally made some ground.

“It doesn’t explain how she ended up pregnant. Obviously you liked her enough to sleep with her on Prom night.” Saying it out loud was like a nail being slammed into my beating heart.

He scratched his head. “Willow, I don’t remember that night. I remember being at the dance and us being invited to party. I hated being there with her, so I started drinking heavily. The next thing I know, it was morning and she was asleep next to me with no clothes on. I felt horrible for what I’d done. I swear to God that I never wanted to be with her.” He started to laugh a little, which was weird, considering we were talking about something so serious. “It turns out, that I never did. She staged the whole thing as another notch in her ultimate betrayal.”

Even I started to laugh. “Is this some comic? Ultimate betrayal? I can believe that she did the first things, but this is going a little too far. Are you trying to get me to forgive you or something?”

He got up off the bed and paced. “I knew it would be too hard for you to understand. I didn’t want to have to show you this. It’s going to hurt and I don’t want you to feel that way.”

He pulled out a little brown book. I recognized it immediately, because I’d gotten the same one as her one Christmas. “She didn’t?”

He slid it over toward me on the bed and sat down on the edge. “Willow, I have never lied to you. I meant what I said earlier. I’ve never stopped loving you. I can’t change the past four years. I am responsible for those years. Had I have known what was really going on, I never would have let it happen. I never would have married her and promised to take care of a child. I would have spent every single second doing whatever I had to do to make you fall in love with me. It was all I wanted. It’s all I still want.” He kissed me on the top of my head and stood up. “You’re going to be reading for a while, so I’ll be outside when you’re ready to talk. Please keep in mind that I was also a victim in all of this. I hope you don’t hate me too much. I’d at least want to be your friend, if that’s all I can be. I’ve missed you like a fat guy misses a hamburger.”