The Best Christmas Ever (2 page)

“What about her?”

“Why can’t she watch me?”

“Mickie,” her father warned, surprised by his daughter’s unusual show of spirit.

“I don’t think your daddy would like that.” Realizing what she’d said, Sarah gazed at her brother-in-law in shocked apology.

Justin didn’t know what to say. He wanted to tell her,
Impossible, there’s no way I’d trust my daughter with you. You despise me.
But then he couldn’t get over her look of embarrassment at what she’d just said. No matter how true it was that he and Sarah didn’t get along, he didn’t want his daughter to know that, which made him realize just how wrong his feelings were. But it would take time to get over those feelings.

Do unto others…

The verse he’d learned as a child floated into his mind, striking him with guilt. What was he teaching his daughter by harboring this anger? And what would she think if he didn’t at least try to work through his pain and forgive his sister-in-law? It was true Mickie might not understand everything that had happened, but she would understand her aunt Sarah not coming around again.

Justin finally said, albeit reluctantly, “Actually, Sarah, if you’re available for the rest of the evening, I wouldn’t mind. Mickie seems quite taken by her aunt. And it’d give you a little more time to visit.”

Sarah swallowed her automatic no. She knew Justin didn’t really want her there. But could she have ever, in her wildest dreams, envisioned spending an evening with her niece? She hadn’t seen Mickie since her sister’s funeral. Mickie had not been at the hearing before
the judge. Sarah hadn’t been dismayed over that. She had believed she’d have Mickie soon enough.

How absolutely arrogant she had been, and how angry when the court had ruled in her brother-in-law’s favor. Now she was getting a second chance to know Mickie, to get reacquainted with her. The door had just been opened; the opportunity she had been praying for had dropped into her lap. “I don’t have to be anywhere. I’d be glad to watch her.”

An awkward silence fell as the two adults stared at each other; it was broken finally when Mickie squealed in glee and clapped her hands.

“Will you fix me dinner? I like fried chicken, but Daddy doesn’t make it. I also like peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches. And then you can help me into my ‘jamas and we can read stories till Dad gets home. Is that okay, Daddy? Can we read stories until you get home?”

Sarah saw Justin’s features soften and was amazed at how much younger he looked when he smiled so gently like that. “That sounds fine.”

When his gaze returned to Sarah, the cool mask fell back in place.

“There’s a list of emergency numbers by the phone. Fix whatever you two decide you want for dinner…except peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches.” He cast a warning look at his daughter, who bowed her head and appeared properly contrite at the idea of allowing any peanut butter or jelly to pass her lips again in the near future. “I should be home sometime this evening. The office is about forty-five minutes away and the people I’m meeting have to leave tonight.”

He looked at his watch. Four o’clock. He would be
late at this rate. Thank goodness he had arranged to meet them at a hotel closer to his home. It had been Phillip’s idea to pick them up in the limo and for them all to go to the office together for the tour and business meeting. “Any questions?”

Sarah shook her head. Still he seemed unsure. “Look, Justin,” she said, “if you want, I’ll call you every hour on the hour. You don’t need to worry that we’ll be gone when you return.” She didn’t tell him that she no longer had a car and had caught the bus over. Call it pride, but she just couldn’t admit that.

His face didn’t show if that was what he was thinking or not. He finally sighed and gave a curt nod. “I’m trusting you on this. My secretary’s number is on the list. Phone if you need anything.”

He kissed his daughter goodbye and headed out the door.

Sarah couldn’t believe it. She was actually alone with her niece. Why had Justin allowed it?

Was it that it had been so long and he’d relegated the past to the past? She wondered if he meant to pay her. There was no way she would ask. She wasn’t even sure she could take his money. She was desperate, but was she that desperate?

True, that was why she’d originally come. But she hadn’t expected to feel guilty and uncomfortable around Justin. Had she thought to be that same old arrogant woman who would look at him as though he owed her for his past sins?

Closing her mind to those questions, she turned her attention to Mickie, who was tugging on her shirt.

“Can we cook now? I like to help in the kitchen, but Mrs. Winters never lets me. She says I make a
mess, especially when we have chicken. You know, we wouldn’t have to have peanut butter-and-jelly
sandwiches.
Sometimes Daddy lets me eat them on crackers, too.”

Sarah smiled. She hadn’t eaten since last night. She’d missed breakfast this morning because she had wanted to find somewhere to shower before coming over to Justin’s. The only other meal she’d have a chance at was dinner at six o’clock in the evening.

Oh, no!
She suddenly focused on one small fact she’d conveniently forgotten; she had to be back by eight o’clock. Would Justin be home before then? She worried her bottom lip, then sighed. Well, there was no choice now. She’d just have to hope it worked out.

“I think peanut butter and jelly on anything is out—if that look your father gave you was any indication,” she said, forcing her worries from her mind. She’d have plenty of time later to worry. Right now she wanted to soak up Mickie’s presence. “Come on, let’s go thaw out something and you can help me make a mess in the kitchen.”

“You make a mess?”

Mickie’s eyes widened in childish horror. Sarah smiled. “It’s more fun that way.” She winked.

Going toward the kitchen with Mickie, Sarah realized that things might actually be changing in her life. Maybe the past could be just that—the past Maybe she could forget it; let go of the ghosts that haunted her, the mistakes she had made. Perhaps she could turn over a new leaf and start back on the right path. It’d been so long…she wasn’t sure if she could even find her way back on her own. How did she get rid of years
of bitterness and pain and find peace again with the very person she had wronged?

She remembered then—something her mother had told her when she’d had a fight with her dear friend and they had stopped talking for two weeks. She’d been frantic that she would never see her friend again and didn’t know if Sylvia would accept her apology or not. She’d prayed but wasn’t sure God had answered her prayer on how she should ask forgiveness for yelling at Sylvia.

“When you turn and walk down our street it takes five minutes to reach the end, dear. How long does it take to return?”

She had answered, “Five minutes.”

“And how do you get back? Do you cover that distance in five seconds or fifty seconds? Do you turn and take different streets to get you back to our house?”

“No, Mama,” she’d replied.

“That’s right, dear. You simply turn around and start from the way you came, taking one step at a time. Sometimes you can make it a little faster, sometimes not. But the important thing is you make that decision and turn around and go back.”

Her mother had been right. By confronting the issue with Sylvia, Sarah had righted things, although the lost trust between them had taken a little longer to return.

Now she knew that no matter how long it took, she wanted things right again between her and her only living relative. So maybe, if she prayed—since the first step to anything was prayer, or at least that was what she’d been taught in her family—this time things would be different between her and her brother-in-law.
They could get along well enough that she would again have a family.

If she hadn’t turned her back and run from God when everything had happened almost seven years ago, then this mess wouldn’t have happened.

She told herself to remember that this time and everything
would
work out. Put God first, not her own selfish feelings, and trust God to work the miracle.

Looking down at Mickie, she knew that no matter what happened, she had to do that. She didn’t want to lose what she only now was discovering filled a void that had long been in need of filling.

T
he click of the door told Sarah that Justin had returned. She put down the book she’d been thumbing through and stood. Even in the darkened light of the living room Justin looked good. Tired, but good. His suit jacket was thrown over his shoulder and a hint of beard shadowed his square jaw. Dark brown eyes scanned the room before landing on her.

“Mickie asleep?”

Sarah unclasped her hands. “Yes. She fell asleep about an hour ago.”

Silence fell and Sarah resisted the urge to shift. It was late and for the past hour she’d been wondering how to handle Justin’s reappearance. Before, Mickie had been a buffer between them. Now that buffer was gone and she wasn’t sure how to act or how her brother-in-law would act. She cleared her throat.

“Well, I’d better go.”

She started toward the door.

When her hand was on the knob, Justin spoke. “What really brought you here, Sarah?”

She stiffened. How could she tell him that in desperation she’d come to him for a job? He wouldn’t believe it. Or worse. He might. And then he’d either laugh at her or pity her. He certainly wouldn’t hire her, knowing she had been let go from her job in a lawyer’s office, no matter what the reason. Doubts and fears crushed in on her, making her shoulders heavy with the burden of carrying them. Sarah forced herself to stand up straight, as if Justin might actually see the weight loading her down. “I came to bury the hatchet,” she quipped, without turning around to face him.

A wry chuckle escaped Justin’s lips and Sarah felt a warm tingle run down her back. Had that laugh attracted Amy? She knew it certainly affected her.

“Well then,” he said when silence had fallen again, “maybe I should be glad you didn’t decide to bury it in my neck like…”

She knew what he would have said—
Like when you tried to take Mickie.
She stiffened. “Good night.”

“Wait.” Justin rested his hand on her shoulder even as she pulled open the door. “I’m sorry.”

She didn’t respond but stood facing the door, hiding her eyes from his scrutiny lest he see what she was feeling.

“Will it always be this way between us?” he finally asked.

“I don’t know,” Sarah replied.

With a sigh, he released her.

Sarah walked out the door, deciding that she was walking out of his life for the final time. Turning down
the street, she headed to where she hoped she’d be able to catch the last bus for the night, wondering why she’d ever thought she could work for the man her sister had married.

Justin leaned his head against the closed door and sighed again. He was tired. The meeting had been a lot more complicated than he’d expected. What was supposed to be a simple merger had turned into more negotiations. Years ago he wouldn’t have allowed it, but because he’d seen these men making a sincere effort to protect their employees, he’d spent the extra two hours negotiating. Then they’d had to have a new contract typed and finally signed. The men had fortunately found seats on a later flight It was almost eleven o’clock and he’d been worried about his daughter…and he’d treated Sarah badly.

Pushing away from the door, he turned, then went through the house, flipping off lights and checking windows. There had been no reason for him to say such cruel things to her. Indeed, she’d been trying to bury the hatchet. That was the longest they’d gone without snipping at each other. And then he’d had to ruin it. She was Amy’s sister—the only link he and Mickie had to Amy. The least he could have done was hold his tongue. It was just that when he’d opened the door and seen her rising from the couch, the book of scenic landscapes sliding from her lap, he’d felt as though someone had punched him in the gut. He’d never noticed that Sarah was a very beautiful woman, despite her beat-up jeans and sweater. He’d always pictured her as tough and aggressive. Her soft golden hair, which she’d always worn up, had floated about
her face tonight, giving her the look of innocence wronged. But he’d not wronged her. And she wasn’t innocent or soft. He knew her real personality. She had tried to take his daughter away. He’d been right to fight her to keep his child. And he wouldn’t forget the pain that fight had caused anytime soon, no matter how innocent or beautiful she looked.

He hadn’t felt a spark of interest in a woman since Amy’s death. How could that spark be ignited by the sister who had caused them both so much grief? In anger at his own reaction to her, he’d struck out.

He trudged up the stairs. After checking on Mickie to make sure she was covered, he undressed.

Because of his actions, Mickie would probably never see Sarah again. She’d be stuck with a baby-sitter all day—

Baby-sitter!

Justin didn’t have a baby-sitter for his daughter, tomorrow or anytime. He collapsed on the side of the bed and dropped his head into his hands. How could he have forgotten?

Easy. Big blue eyes and a heart-stopping smile had clouded his thinking.

Well, he couldn’t let them distract him now. He had to find someone for tomorrow. Justin lifted his head. Maybe this was a way to prove to Sarah that he wanted to accept her apology and make amends. He could ask her to baby-sit this weekend, since she probably didn’t work on weekends, and Mickie could get to know her. Of course his day would be short on Saturday. He only had to finish up the paperwork related to tonight’s merger and make sure everything was running smoothly. Then he could invite Sarah over for dinner
on Sunday as a gesture of thanks. That should smooth over the mistake he’d made tonight.

He reached into the drawer by his bed and pulled out the phone book. After finding her number, he dialed it.

He listened as the call connected.

On the third ring, instead of an answering machine picking up, he heard a message saying the phone was disconnected.

Frowning, he put the receiver down. Had she moved lately? He called Information and the operator told him she had no listing under Sarah’s name.

Thinking back, he remembered Bill, from church, mentioning he’d talked to Sarah only last week. He hadn’t said where he’d seen her or what they’d talked about. His friends were that way. If they met up with Sarah they only informed him that they’d seen her. Few of his friends felt the need to gossip and dredge up past pains. And, he thought, a few were still friends with Sarah, though none ever really talked about her when he was around.

Bill was the answer. If it had been only last week since he’d talked to her he would know where she was now living. Despite the late hour, Justin picked up the phone and dialed Bill’s number. On the second ring, Bill answered it. Justin smiled. Bill had a thing for computers and was usually up until one or two in the morning playing around with some new software or game.

“Hey, Bill,” he said. “Uh, sorry to call so late.”

“Justin? No problem. I’m up. What’s going on?”

“I just tried to get hold of Sarah. She stopped by earlier today and I need to talk to her. I tried the phone
number I have for her, but the service has been disconnected. I figured you could tell me where she moved.”

Silence followed.

Justin frowned.

Finally, Bill spoke, but it wasn’t with the answer Justin had wanted.

“You say you talked to her today?”

“Yeah. She, uh, watched Mickie for me. I was in a bind—”

“You let her baby-sit your daughter?”

Why was Bill sounding so shocked? “Yeah. She came by to visit. My baby-sitter had an emergency and Mickie seemed taken with Sarah. Look,” Justin said, becoming impatient, “do you know where she moved? I’d like to get hold of her.” Suddenly, it dawned on Justin what had been bothering him. Her number had not been changed but disconnected. Why? Wait a minute. She had been engaged—“Or what her new last name is,” he added, drawing the conclusion that she must now be married and that was why she no longer had a phone number of her own. “I’d like to…thank her,” he finished, thinking that if she was married, then she wouldn’t want to baby-sit on a weekend. He couldn’t believe she had stayed tonight with a husband waiting for her at home. At least her marriage explained her decreased anger and bitterness since the last time they’d seen each other.

“Sarah didn’t tell you?”

Confused, Justin wrinkled his brow. “Tell me what? That she had married? No, but I know she was engaged—”

“
Was
is the operative word there, buddy. You’d better sit down.”

Justin stood, instead. “Look, Bill, obviously you know something I don’t. Why don’t you try telling me.”

“I don’t know all the particulars. Just that she’s no longer engaged.”

“Is that all?”

“No. As a matter of fact, it’s not. She no longer works for her fiancé’s family, either, as of a very short time ago. Nor does she live in her old apartment.”

Justin sighed impatiently. “I know the latter—that’s why I called you. Do you know where she lives?”

“Yes.”

Restlessly, Justin ran a hand through his hair. Why was Bill acting as if Sarah’s address and phone number were a national secret? Okay, so Bill felt sorry for Sarah. She had broken off with her fiancé and quit her job. Justin was sorry for her, too, but that might just work out to his best. Maybe he could hire Sarah for a week or two until she found a better job…unless she already had one. But first he had to locate her. This was all too much to take in at once. Just what did he really know about Sarah? Very little, he suddenly realized.

“So where is she?” he demanded, quickly reaching the end of his rope.

There was a hesitation, then a sigh. “Look, Justin, maybe since she didn’t tell you—”

“Where, Bill?” he demanded.

“Okay, okay! But if she’s mad at me—”

“Bill!”

“She’s living at a homeless shelter downtown near Second Street.”

Justin’s legs collapsed underneath him and he sank to the bed, stunned. “Homeless shelter?” he whispered, unable to believe what he was hearing.

“Yeah. Evidently, when she lost her job, she didn’t have enough money to pay her rent. She had to move out but had nowhere to go and wouldn’t let me help since I’m so newly married. She refuses to collect unemployment—”

“She was fired!” Justin shouted.

“As I said,” Bill continued without answering Justin’s question, “she comes in twice a week, looking for a job. The law office, it seems, was overstaffed and had to get rid of a secretary.”

“What’s the shelter’s name and number?”

“Why?”

“Because I’m going to call and leave a message for Sarah to expect me.”

“Sorry, bud, the shelter closes its doors at eight. Which also means no phone calls, either.”

“What do you mean, it closes its doors at eight?”

“Just what I said. Haven’t you ever been around shelters? In the morning the people are fed, then put out for the day. At the end of the day the shelters reopen and the occupants are allowed back in for supper. At eight this particular one closes its doors and no one else is allowed in. The place is usually full by six or so anyway.”

A sick feeling curled in Justin’s stomach. “What about Sarah?”

“What about her?”

“What if she’s late getting back? Would they let her in? I mean, if she had a good explanation?”

“Sarah’s staying at a very good shelter, Justin. Try not to worry. She’s been there a couple of weeks now. They’ve treated her well. They won’t turn her out.”

Cold fear filled Justin’s heart. “You’re not answering my question. If Sarah was late, would they let her in?”

“Sarah knows the rules. She wouldn’t have been late.”

Justin had his answer. “Thanks, Bill.”

“You okay?”

How could Justin answer that truthfully? “Yeah,” he lied.

Sarah, his sister-in-law, who had been here only thirty minutes ago, was living in a shelter. His sister-in-law, for pity sakes! Why hadn’t she come to him?

In a flash of insight he realized she had. Today. And he’d snipped at her from the time he’d opened the door, never giving her a chance to state her true purpose in coming.

Anger replaced the guilt. Oh, he’d asked, but she’d refused to tell Justin what was going on. It’d always been that way. Amy had been heartsick when Sarah had closed herself off from her only sister because Amy had married him. Of course Sarah had had a good reason for not speaking to him.

His anger deflated. They were both at fault. But why hadn’t she opened up to him tonight and told him she was penniless and living in a shelter?

Because she didn’t trust him. And he didn’t trust her. And she knew that.

Yet despite that, Justin admitted to his feelings of
earlier today. True, he’d felt shock and anger when he’d seen her, then experienced a need to prove that he held nothing against her. But worst of all was the spark of interest he’d felt for her that had slowly made itself known as he’d noticed the sway of her hair, the tilt of her chin, the flash of her eyes…Self-loathing ate at him. This was Amy’s sister, not a woman who should interest him. Especially since he still didn’t completely trust her. But all that didn’t matter now. The only thing that mattered was that Sarah was living in a shelter.

His sister-in-law.

Mickie’s aunt.

There was no way he was going to let her stay there.

“So—” Bill broke the silence “—are you ready to talk?”

Justin sighed. Bill was his friend. He trusted Bill more than anyone else. Maybe he needed to confide in a friend. “I guess at the time of Amy’s death Sarah was a convenient person to blame. I was despondent, and according to Sarah, I unintentionally neglected Mickie because of my grief. Maybe Sarah had been acting in Mickie’s best interest by taking me to court…or at least she thought she was. I can tell you it certainly woke me up to what was going on around me and that I had a daughter who needed me.”

He wondered if Sarah had sensed that things weren’t as good between Amy and him as they’d appeared. Had Amy told Sarah she wanted a divorce?

The night of Amy’s death, she had admitted that her parents had encouraged the match, saying it was a way of showing the peace between their two families. Had Sarah known or suspected that? He’d been devastated
when his wife had run from the house to go see the sister she hadn’t talked to in months, because she was tired of trying to “work things out” as he’d insisted they do.