The Betrayal of Bindy Mackenzie (18 page)

There was also something called the Chocolate Game which I thoroughly enjoyed. The group sits in a circle around a block of chocolate. A dice is passed around the circle. (I told everyone that ‘die' is the technical singular of ‘dice' but that ‘dice' is acceptable these days.) If you throw a ‘six', you have to put on an apron and begin eating the chocolate, by cutting it up with a plastic knife and fork! You should hear the screaming and shouting when you get a six! ‘SIX!' they all shriek. And they rush the dice around the circle, hoping to get
another
six to stop the first person's attack on the chocolate.

I got ‘six' more often than anybody else. I felt so proud. I can't explain it—I know it was only luck.

I admit, there was a point when I thought: Really? I have to eat more chocolate?

But I always did.

Now, two hours later, back home again, I have the strangest feeling. I can't describe it. I guess I just feel sad that the party's over. I feel tired and confused and cranky. I wonder if I'll ever have such fun again? I mean, it just seemed to
work
so beautifully—could that party, that chocolate game, have been the high point of my life? Is it all downhill from here?

I think Keats put it best when he wrote:

 

My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains

My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,

Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains.

DIARY ENTRY
Sunday, 16 August

I've been struggling a bit with
Ulysses
by James Joyce. I think a good editor might have made a world of difference to this book.

DIARY ENTRY
Thursday, 17 September

I made friends with the girl next door today. (We moved here a month ago and I've been watching her, trying to gather the courage to introduce myself.) She's from Lebanon and I asked her to teach me a little Arabic. What a marvellous language!

DIARY ENTRY
Saturday, 31 October

Today we moved to another new house. It's a wreck. Anthony and I walked in the front door, straight down the hall, and out the back without stopping. We looked at each other and laughed. We sat on the porch for a while, talking about the universe, and watching some kids play in a swimming pool next door.

Next thing, one of the kids climbed out of the pool and ran over to the wire fence. He was shivering and asking us over to swim!

Mum found our swimmers for us (how did she know which box they were in?) and we swam all afternoon, played Red Light/Green Light, played Crocodile, Crocodile, played whirlpool, etcetera.

The boy who invited us is named Sam, and he and Anthony are the same age, and Sam's coming over to watch a movie at our place tomorrow.

DIARY ENTRY
Thursday, 19 November

As soon as Mum got home from work last night, I handed her my History exercise book and said, ‘Ask me.' Because there was a test coming today.

But this morning I woke up and at first I felt fine but then I was eating my breakfast and I opened up my history book to look one more time and SUDDENLY I got the WORST headache and such a bad tummy-ache that I couldn't stand up.

Mum said I had to go back to bed and she'd stay home with me today. I made her promise to phone Mr Inglewood and ask if I could do the test tomorrow instead. She said only if I promise to take a day off today and not think about History.

After I slept a bit, Mum came in and had a talk with me. She said I had to learn to relax and who cares if I mess up a history test sometimes? Nobody, she said.

Then she went out and I was thinking, well,
I
care, aren't
I
somebody? and Dad came home and I heard them fighting in the hallway. Dad was saying Mum should have sent me to school anyway, because you've gotta sand back those neuroses. And Mum was going, ‘If a ten-year-old's having a nervous breakdown about
schoolwork,
that's a problem,' and Dad was going, ‘If I know our Bindy, she'll be out of bed any moment, demanding you take her to school, and she'll be right because you can't let fear get in the way of progress.'

So I waited a moment then I got up and went out and said I need to go to school now.

Dad goes, ‘That's the spirit.'

Mum goes, ‘Bindy, you promised.'

I said, ‘That promise was contrary to my own interests and you should not have exacted it from me.'

Dad goes, ‘Ahaaah!'

So I went to school and the history test was easy and we got it back in the afternoon and I got 20/20,
Excellent Work.

 

DIARY ENTRY
Saturday, 6 February

Just read a book called
Lady Chatterley's Lover
by D.H. Lawrence. Rather repetitive and overwrought. I don't understand why the Lady is spending so much time with the gardener. And what exactly are they doing? It should be made clear.

Mum took us to visit Auntie Veronica today. Anthony brought Sam along. I'm impressed that they've managed to stay friends even though we've moved several times since we lived next door to him and his pool.

DIARY ENTRY
Thursday, 20 May

Reflections on Velcro
Lately, I've been reading the myths of Ancient Greece. I have just finished a story about a hero named Herakles who had to undertake twelve ‘labours' (which means challenges, like killing many-headed serpents and stealing apples).

As I read, I felt as if pieces of velcro were being torn apart in my chest. For I could not stop the despairing ‘rip' of this thought:
When did he get to take a break? Why, after each of these labours, did Herakles have to do ANOTHER one? When did this poor man get to take a break?

DIARYENTRY
Saturday, 17 July

Reflections on Realists
This morning I overheard Mum and Dad fighting. (I was on the floor behind the couch.)

Dad was going, ‘Cecily, listen to me. You're not hearing me here. Hello? Am I speaking to a rock?'

Afterwards, I hovered around Dad a bit, in case he wanted
me
to hear him. We were taking some doors off their hinges, and Dad said something interesting.

This is what he said.

‘Bindy,' he said. ‘What would you call a person who walks into a takeaway joint and makes her choice by looking at the glossy pictures on the wall above the counter? Rather than at the
actual
food which is sitting right in front of her? Right there in front of her, underneath the glass? What would you call such a person? Do you hear what I'm saying?'

I assured him that I did.

Hills District Primary School
Half-Yearly Report: BINDY MACKENZIE
General Comments
Bindy is a pleasure to have in the class. I can honestly say I've never had a student as bright, conscientious and cheerful as she is. No doubt, she will eventually win over her classmates
—
she's a little too advanced for most of them at the moment, but she tries very hard to engage with them.