The Betrayal of Bindy Mackenzie (22 page)

A few people were walking along the balcony, and they paused and looked at us with interest. Astrid's eyes were puffy. She stared at me.

I realised it was the first time I'd ever actually spoken to her. I found my voice trembling, but was determined to go on.

‘It was the “five food groups” float,' I explained. ‘And it was really wonderful. I loved it! And listen, I
know
the kind of person who would be on a float like that is
not
the kind of person to steal a boy from her friend! I know you didn't do what they're saying you did. I can't believe Nicole is spreading those rumours!'

Astrid's face was doing something odd. It was as if the face wanted to find its own centre. Her eyes seemed to crease downwards, towards her nose; her nose crinkled upwards; her mouth curled in on itself.

‘And you were so great in the Orange Blossom Festival!' I continued, in something of a panic: why wasn't she speaking? ‘You really look
superb
,' I said, ‘all dressed up as a lamb chop!'

At last, Astrid spoke.

I cannot write the words that she spoke.

They are not in my vocabulary.

Let's just say that she spoke in these unwriteable words to say some cruel things about my appearance, about the sound
of my voice, and about the fact that I exist. She told me to ‘get out of her face'.

Then she turned towards the passers-by and laughed. (They laughed too.)

I noticed something—Astrid might be beautiful, but when she laughs, she sometimes gives herself a double chin. She leans down to laugh, you see, lowering her chin to her neck. It makes her look a little plump.

She will be fat one day. She will go from vodka to antidepressants to marijuana, and she will find herself on the slippery slope to crack cocaine.

I feel sorry for her.

I'm confident she'll be in and out of rehab.

 

Explanatory Note
I have looked through my special box, but can find nothing at all relating to this year. It must have been completely unremarkable.

I do recall that my asthma returned during an incident that took place on our school trip to Hill End. I did not enjoy that trip. I have been a chronic asthmatic ever since, and take preventative medication every day. I always carry an inhaler, and only wear clothes that have pockets, and my hand is always checking in a pocket to ensure that the inhaler is there. When I moved in with Auntie Veronica this year, she scattered inhalers all over her house (high enough so Bella can't reach them). Now I catch sight of them in unexpected places
—
on the windowsill, in a china cabinet. It's like an easier egg hunt for inhalers.

 

Feel like a MORON?
Think you might be MALFUNCTIONING?
BINDY MACKENZIE CAN HELP!!!
Come along and learn how to:
‘TAME THE TEEN MONSTER INSIDE YOU!!!!'
Bindy's advisory sessions will take place in the relaxed, convivial setting of the locker room, every second Tuesday this term.
Free to All Students! Real Indian tea will be served.

DIARY ENTRY
Monday, 3 February

I am excited about Year 9.I intend to embrace it. I will
erase
Year 8 from existence. It didn't happen! Poof. It's gone! (I saw Astrid today, back from her summer holiday with a ridiculously dark suntan. She will erase her
self
from existence if she keeps that up. Somebody should tell her there's a hole in the ozone layer.)

Anyway, I will gather Year 9 into my arms and squeeze it tight. Press it close to my body and curl my legs around it.

In that spirit, I have registered for the Schools Spectacular, the School Representative Council, the Duke of Edinburgh Award Scheme, the Tournament of Minds, a C-grade netball team and the squash comp.

Also, debating! There's a contest called the Tearsdale Shield that our school has never won. The debating coach,
Mrs Lilydale, seems friendly. We chatted for a while (she knows of my academic record), and I told her about my ‘Tame the Teen Monster' plans. She wished me heartfelt luck with my first session tomorrow.

I wonder if anyone will come?

Tuesday, 4 February

To The Principal
Ashbury High

Dear Sir,

I am writing about a matter of grave concern.

Today, I held the first session of ‘Taming the Teen Monster Inside You'. This course is based on several books about juvenile delinquency and teenage self-esteem which I read over the summer.

My aim is to help the socially malfunctioning amongst us to realise their full potential.

I am delighted to inform you that three students attended this first session.

They were all new to the school this year. Their names are Ernst von Schmerz, Kelly Simonds and Joshua Lynch. I have no complaints about their conduct: they listened attentively, and Ernst promised to write it all up on his blog!

No, my complaint is more important—a grave issue, nay, an issue of life-or-death. I am sorry to say, at the end of the session, Joshua Lynch reached into his school bag, to take out his books for the next class, and
I believe I glimpsed something like drug paraphernalia.
Or, at least, something like
drugs. A large plastic bag containing a greeny-browny, plant-like substance.

I do not believe in ‘telling tales'—but I was frightened by the size of that bag. I fear that my new friend may be heading for a fall.

I hope that you can find a way to help him.

Thank you,

Yours sincerely,
Bindy Mackenzie

DIARY ENTRY
Wednesday, 5 March

I now have two new friends at Ashbury: Ernst von Schmerz and Kelly Simonds.

I also have a new debating team.

I confess, there is a link between the above two facts . . .

Today, I mentioned to Ernst and Kelly that I would not be able to lunch with them, as I had to see Mrs Lilydale about debating, which begins next term.

Ernst tipped his head to the side.

Kelly said, ‘Whuh?' (That is her way of loading the word ‘what?' with confusion—a kind of cross between ‘what?' and ‘huh?')

And it turned out that
they
also had to see Mrs Lilydale.

Because
they
are my debating team!

They had always assumed that I knew this! Indeed, they had been to see Mrs Lilydale the very same day that I had, to ask her about debating. And it was Mrs Lilydale who suggested—nay, insisted—that they attend my first ‘tame the teen monster' session! To get to know me, and each other, their debating team!

I felt embarrassed to have been mistaken—I had thought it was my posters that brought those two along.

(I don't know who told that other boy, Joshua Lynch, to come along. I suppose he must regret his decision now.)

ASHBURY CITIZENSHIP AWARD
To:
Bindy Mackenzie
For:
Adopting the Music Courtyard
and adjoining paths
as her part of the school to keep clean.

DIARY ENTRY
Saturday, 19 April

Sam went to the wrong house to visit Anthony today. He'd been thinking about something else, and knocked on the door of the house we had lived in
two houses ago.
It was so funny. Sam can be vague. He and my brother are both so artistic and creative. They plan to make films together, and I believe they have every chance of success.

At the moment, they are going through films written by Charlie Kaufman. I watched
Being John Malkovich
with them. I think it's my favourite film of all time.

Especially, I liked the scene in which everyone has to crouch and hunch down, because the ceilings are too low. That scene spoke to me, because I think I have to crouch and crawl my way through my days. I feel a lot like a giraffe.