The Better to Eat You With: The Red Journals (21 page)

“Um…” I
bit my lip and typed ‘Felix’. No. I typed ‘Sire’. No. I typed ‘Vampire’. No. I
wondered briefly when Felix’s birthday was and then wondered inanely at the
date he made Natasha. My brain whirled at what the password could be, but I
doubted I could just pull the word out my ass and it would work. I needed Felix
to take a crack at it. He
knew
Natasha. Sighing, I closed the program
and removed the USB. As I surfaced from under the desk, Felix was stood on the
other side, brow arching. I flushed as I scrambled to my feet.
I hated it
when people snuck up on me.

Then I
saw the small notebook in his hand. “Find something?”

“Tucked
neatly into the back corner of an abstract painting of Munich by a street
artist.” He waved the book as his eyes went distant in thought. “It was where
she used to feed.”

Trying to
hide my grimace, I held up the fake business card. “Looks like we both found
treasure.”

His eyes
came back to me, and he grinned ruefully. “Her business card?” As he watched, I
slowly popped the USB connection, and his eyes narrowed. “Clever.”

“It’s
encrypted with a password. Any ideas of what it could be?” I asked, fighting to
keep a straight-face as my stomach let out a loud gurgle.

Felix’s
lips quirked. “Let’s take it with us. I’ll try and hack it while you eat.”

“It
wasn’t that loud,” I grumbled, following him towards the stairs, and he laughed
softly. The sound was rich, gentle and genuine, and I could practically smell
the hurt wafting from him over Natasha’s death and, most recently, prying
through her belongings. I got the sense that his shocked silence while digging
her grave would be the most emotion I would see him exhibit about it. Which I
thought was a shame.

“Nothing
wrong with a lady being ruled by her stomach, pet,” he said, his endearment for
me rubbing my fur backward. I scowled at the back of his head as a scoffed.

“Lady?” I
asked, pretending confusion. “What’s a lady?”

Felix
laughed again.

“Oh, for
piss,
bleedin’
sakes!”

A pale
blue and white pillow flew past the bathroom door, and I narrowly missed being
hit by the soft missile as I leaned back out of the way. I watched it hit a
cabinet supporting a vase of flowers and land harmlessly on the floor, shortly
followed by the vase and the flowers. I looked at Felix, pacing angrily,
fingers digging deep channels in his dark hair. He’d been at his laptop and
Natasha’s encrypted USB, cross-referencing it with that little book he’d found,
and couldn’t break the code. Twenty-four hours after leaving Natasha’s home,
and he was completely irate.

And
didn’t it just make him look fantastic!

I
shivered as I took in his rumpled clothes, his mussed hair, the high color in
his cheeks, and the angry sparkle of his eyes.
Jeepers…
I didn’t know
whether to jump his bones or run a mile. Instead, I sidled back to my pew at
the table, and continued with my eating. I’d done nothing but eat since we had gotten
back, and Felix had briefly marveled at how much I could consume before digging
into his work, fingers flying over the keys. I’d gone out about an hour before
for food. Felix’s meal sat untouched, but I wasn’t eyeing covetously, which
surprised me. A bargain bucket of fried chicken, fries, big bottle of pop and
corn cob sides all to myself had left me glowing and content.
Shocking, I
know!

Felix,
obviously, was not.

“Still no
luck?” I asked warily.

“No!” he
snapped, stopping to glare at me, one hand yanking at his hair, the other on
his hip. “Everything I can think of, every damn idea I have,
it
,” he
waved angrily at the laptop, “says no. No. No. Bloody no.”

“So…you
can’t hack it?” I ventured.

“No, I
bloody can’t.” Felix growled grabbing up another pillow and ringing it like it
was someone’s neck. “This was done professionally, beyond Natasha’s skill, and
therefore, my own.” His scowl deepened. “God-bloody-dammit!” he snarled, and
lobbed the pillow again, hitting a wall and plopping down harmlessly.

I stared
at the fallen cushion for a moment, wondering if Felix’s rage was somehow
connected to that age-old feeling of helplessness in avenging a loved-one.
I
know that feeling well.
“Is there no one else you know who can break the
code?” I asked.

“I do,
but she’s on the other bloody side of the planet right now,” he replied.

My mind
went into a dual thought process. The one that stalled on ‘she’ and then
shifted to ‘how many times was he going to say ‘bloody’ today?’

I shook
myself. “So you and yours can’t break it?” This is what I’d been waiting for. So
far, me and mine had been casually pushed to the side, forgotten or disregarded
as inferior, which rubbed my hackles backwards to no end. The Vampire, however
delicious, was
not
a team player. Though I could relate to that, I
wasn’t about to be set aside like a soggy coaster.

Felix let
out a heavy sigh. “Not at the moment.” He rubbed his brow. “And I need it now,
not three pissing days from now.”

Well,
that’s a change from ‘bloody’.

“Right,
then.” I bounced to my feet, practically ecstatic that I could finally tell him
some of my own findings. Felix, I discovered, was about as accessible as a Fae
mound when he was determined and downright bull-headed when he thought he could
do something and was thwarted. “I have reports of possible sightings, a couple
Were contacts sniffing out his trail, general gossip about Ambrose’s motives
and intended actions, and possibly my techy person to take a look at those.” I
pointed to the inaccessible files on his laptop.

Felix
gave me a wary, squinty-eyed look. “I don’t want outside people getting
involved.”“

“I’m
involved,” I snapped, annoyed at the tingle of hurt drumming itself up in my
chest. What, didn’t he think I was capable?
Dammit, he will not take this
away from me!
“Just because these peoples aren’t
your
people doesn’t
mean they can’t be trusted. They are
my
people, and I’ve know them
decades.” I yanked up my iPad, pulling up my communications. “I may not have
made
them, but that doesn’t mean our work ethic is any less substantial then yours,
vamp boy.” My tone at the end was positively icy, and I shoved my iPad at him
so he could read my latest info.

“Red,”

“Just
shut up,” I snapped, staring him dead in the face, refusing to turn away from the
regret in his voice as he took the iPad. “You want a list of my credentials?
Proof that I know what I’m doing? Jeez, Felix. If you don’t want to work with
someone, just say it. I’ll go off and do my thing, and feed my information
through Osiris.”

“Red, I’m
sorry.”

“I have
to make a call.” I turned away, pulling my blackberry from my pocket.
God, I
need a shower. I felt gritty all over and my clothes are rumpled.
I didn’t
smell, but my muscles ached from tension. I needed to either sweat my ass off
somewhere with a good workout, or soak in a tub of holy-shit-that’s-seriously-hot
water.

Felix’s
hand wrapping around my arm froze me, stilling my fingers as I scrolled through
my address book. His hands were cool. They’d been fiery hot the day before. Did
he need to feed? Probably. His chest brushed my back, and the urge to press
back into him was near overwhelming. The memory of drinking from him on the
plane ran through my head at warp speed, making me shiver as heat pooled low.

Jeepers,
is that all it takes?
Maybe
I should switch that hot bath to a cold shower.

His hand
curved over my hip, slipping up my cotton hoody to brush icy fingers against my
warmed skin. Adrenaline spiked as I gasped, and Felix buried his face in the
hollow of my shoulder, inhaling deeply against my skin. I couldn’t move. I knew
I should, because I could practically taste his hunger in the air, mixing with
the scent of my heated blood and sharp arousal. But instinct told me that if I
ran, I’d go from companion to prey in less time than it took for Felix to soak
my panties.

Bad
analogy, Red. Piss off.

“I’m sorry,
Red,” Felix murmured his voice as smooth and deep as aged bourbon. “I need to
feed.” His breath caressed my throat, and the distinct scrape of fang grazed my
skin. My breath left me in a whoosh as his hand slid lower, skimming beneath
the waistband of my slacks. “And you smell so goddamned good, pet.”

Oh
fuck. What if he bites me?

Tingles
raced over my skin, raising goose flesh as he released my arm and banded his
around my torso. “Felix?” My hand flew down to grip his forearm as his hand
cupped me over my panties, making my nervous enquiry a gasping exclamation. His
fingers pressed into me, and parts of me rippled to life with enough force to
make me breathless. “Stop.”

Dammit,
that wasn’t supposed to be a moan!

“I need
to feed,” he murmured again, his fangs scraping again, making me whimper.

My mind
was screaming at me to get the fuck out of there, the terror of him biting me
scattering thoughts as quick as they came, making my mind a blank. My body,
however, was screaming for something altogether different, and probably the far
more dangerous route. The acknowledgement that Felix had gone from a
sexy-but-safe partner to a dangerously hungry Vampire in the space of moments,
hit home where nothing else could.

Even if
my body was limp with need in his arms.

“Felix,”
I said softly, voice shaking. “I’m going to go make a call, and you are going
to go call room service and feed.” I squeezed my eyes shut as both his canines
raked just below my earlobe. “Okay?”

My heart
pounded so loudly in my ears through the silence, that when he answered, I
almost didn’t hear him. “Okay,” he murmured, but he didn’t release me.

“Okay.” I
licked my parched lips, throat stinging from panting. “You have to let me go.”
I pressed, tugging his arm from my pants.

“To make
a call,” he said, his arms falling away.

I didn’t
move. “While you call room service to feed.” I affirmed without turning.

“Yes.” I
heard him say distantly, as if he were moving away.

“Okay.” I
gripped my phone and moved slowly towards the door. My hand shook as I reached
for the handle. I trembled as I opened it and stepped out.

As I
turned to close the door, my gaze fell on Felix. He was standing by the couch,
by the phone, and he was watching me. His eyes we like suns, glowing and
sparking a fierce, hungry gold, near swallowing half of his face, and his
canines were bigger than I’d ever seen them, glistening with pleasure-inducing
fluids.

Holy
shit
, I thought as I
shut the door.
He was going to bite me.

I didn’t
know if I liked that or not.

My legs
kept walking when I got to my hotel room door. Didn’t even stop. Just
completely bypassed it. I had to walk. Just had to keep going. Just had to get
out, get some air, see the sky—however little of it there might be to see in a
city like Chicago. So I kept walking. I didn’t want to stop, or sit, or stand. I
didn’t want to have to think about what could have happened back there with
Felix. I didn’t want to think about how his teeth would feel sinking into my
skin, or how tight he would hold me while he drank, or  worst of all, how much
I might just enjoy it.

I
squeezed my eyes shut as I stepped into the elevator, my back to the corner,
and felt the sudden lift in my stomach as it started downward. I could still
feel the cool press of his fingers, the weight of his icy palms, and the brush
of his chilling breath on my neck.

What I
really needed to do was bake. Nothing keeps the mind occupied like rolling
pastry, stuffing cookie pillows or measuring flour into a mix. But I couldn’t
bake. My dream kitchen was way back home in Summerville.

God, I
just want to go home.

My eyes
flew open as the elevator stilled, and I was out the doors before they’d
completely opened, phone to my ear—Jade’s phone ringing on the other end. It
kicked into voicemail as I moved through the quiet foyer, and I left a message
for her to call me back. It was unusual for Jade to actually answer anyway, so
I wasn’t concerned. The woman left her phone in her office more often than not
those days, because she was forever losing them or having them lifted when she
was out in the club.

She
shouldn’t wear such tight pants. Doesn’t leave much to the imagination when
it’s all but a second skin! She might stop losing phones that way.

I was
just typing Jade a message as extra back-up to my voicemail when something impacted
my shoulder. Hard. “Hey!” I squawked, fumbling to keep my phone from hitting
the floor.
If I dent Jade, and she finds out, she’ll whine like crap.
“Watch it, mate.”

“I’m not
your ‘mate’, wolf-killer,” came the smoky-smooth reply, and I glanced up from
my Blackberry to see Des scowling disdainfully at me.

I
inwardly sighed, loud and long. I could see more he-she jokes in my future,
maybe even some hermaphrodite ones. Which was a shame, really, because Des
didn’t look like a dude. Her cheekbones were high and her chin kind of pointed,
but with her large hazel eyes and blonde-streaked bangs down instead of in her
customary ponytail, her heart-shaped face was really quite attractive. Her body
was lean and athletic, but she had all the right bits without looking butch. It
kind of made me think of that chick out of Blade Trinity. Give the girl a pair
of earphones and a bow and arrow, and you’d have Jessica Biel at her peak.

I all but
rolled my eyes, however. “Still going with the ‘wolf-killer’ angle, eh?” I
clicked my tongue. “That’s just lack of imagination, y’know?”

“No point
elaborating on a fact.” She replied. Just staring at the hard lines of her face
and the hate in her hazel eyes, I knew there would no convincing this female
with words. I’d have to prove it. But not right then. At the moment, I needed
to get out of there.

“Whatever
you say,” I murmured, and went to go around her.

She
shoved me my shoulder, pushing me back to where I was. “I want you to stay away
from Vince.”

“Seriously?”
I whined, and rubbed my brow as I glanced around to take in how many people
were around. “I would love to. Now is that all?”

“This
isn’t a joke,” she snarled, shoving my shoulder again, forcing me back another
step. “You are a wolf-killer, and I won’t have you anywhere near my Alpha. No
matter how enamored he thinks he is.” She sneered, and my brows shot up.

Was
she implying what I think she’s implying?

“Excuse
me?”

“You
think he wouldn’t have killed you right off?” she snarled, moving forward, and
in my surprise, pushing me back. “The moment he heard a known killer was in his
territory? He wouldn’t have suffered you to live if he were in his right mind!”
She shoved me in both shoulders this time, the jab of her fingers painful as I
caught the back of my knees on a couch dropped onto my rump, gaping up at her. And
I wasn’t the only one. The other people on the couches hastily moved away from
the hostile air, and those by the reception desk were watching.