The Big Fat Truth: The Behind-the-scenes Secret to Weight Loss (30 page)

A former cast member named Melissa is someone else who paid it forward in a big way. One of the things she remembers most about her stint on
Extreme Weight Loss
was the totally unexpected help she received from people in her town. Melissa came on the show as a widow and single mother. Her husband, a recent army veteran with post-traumatic stress syndrome, took his own life, leaving her with two broken-up kids and in-laws who blamed her for not preventing her husband’s death. “Crying into her Nutella,” as Melissa put it, she ended up at 301 pounds.

At one point during the show, we asked Melissa to run ten miles. At the time, it seemed like an impossible task. How was she going to do it? She asked people in her Ohio town for help, and a woman named Deanna came out of the woodwork and said, “I’ll help you.” Deanna became Melissa’s running coach and, later, the two of them formed a workout group called Twisted Sisters.

“I wanted to form a workout group but Deanna said, ‘I’m a runner; I don’t work out.’ I’ll teach you, I told her,” says Melissa. “I had had five stomach surgeries, so when I first started trying to lose weight, I couldn’t do a single sit-up, but by then I could bust out 50 of them.” The two of them invited five other women to join them. Melissa knew that feeling of walking into a gym, seeing bouncy 20-year-olds working out on the exercise machines at level seven while she was at level two, crying, and then walking out. She wanted to pass on an important lesson she’d learned: The only person you need to keep up with is yourself.

Once the word was out about Twisted Sisters, it grew to 60 people in one month. And women continued to come in droves. Did I mention that Melissa and Deanna conduct the workouts daily—for free? The group participates in 5Ks and is known for doing Indian runs, borrowed from Navy Seal training. About 20 of them run in a line holding a rope above their heads as, in rotation, the person at the end of the line sprints to the front. They’ve caused such a sensation (and raised a lot of money for different 5K causes) that organizers are lining up to get them to participate in their races. Knowing that all these women are counting on her, Melissa
has to
keep working out. No wonder she’s kept off most of the 142 pounds she lost on
Extreme Weight Loss.
She’s given back, while continuing to get something, too.

Melissa:
Before

Melissa:
After

What is life really about, if not service? Giving back warms the heart and keeps the fire in our bellies. We are not selfish creatures put on this Earth to be alone. We need to share experiences and feelings, including our pain, with others. As we inspire each other, we create bonds that no one can break. Don’t strive to be perfect. Strive to be connected. Connected to other people, your own family, and to yourself. If you can’t love—truly love—yourself, you will never be able to love others. You are special; we all are. Remember what I said earlier: Ordinary people do extraordinary things every day.

Helping Others Is the Icing on the Cake

Hi,

I remember being in every interview leading up to the interview with ABC execs, thinking, “How am I still here? I have no crazy tragic story to tell or skeletons in my closet to release.” I was the way I was solely because of myself and my poor decision-making skills when it comes to good judgment.

With that being said, I have spent my entire adult life in this body. I’ve been wallowing in my own self-pity, because I was stuck in this rut, and I didn’t know how or where to begin just to get out of it. I fought for years to figure out who I am and what my purpose on this Earth was supposed to be, since I’m the one who has to live this life.

Now I know exactly who I am and what my worth is. I am here not for myself, but for the people around me. I’m here for the girls who write me constantly to tell me that they admire what I’m doing and look up to me. I love inspiring other people, because that’s what gave me the lift and confidence to get to the point I’m at today. I love the fact that I get to inspire so many known and unknown people. It’s extremely scary and humbling at the same time.

—Brandi,
Extreme Weight Loss
cast member, via
email

Scientists have done a lot of research on the people who live the longest. One of the longest-living cultures resides on a small island near Greece. It has more people living over 100 years old then anywhere in the world. When asked what are the top reasons they live so long, the three answers that come back are: 1) Sharing their harvest with the rest of the community; 2) walking each night to meet in a center square for discussions with neighbors; and 3) being connected to other people in the village for survival. Do you see a common thread in all three? Emotionally connect to your community and the people in it. If one person suffers, we all suffer. People looking out for each other, helping each other, and supporting each other. I want to live to over 100, so I am trying all of these things. And even if I only live until 99, it feels good to help others and see the smiles on people’s faces when you do something for them that they didn’t expect—and without wanting anything in return.

As you help others, I also want you to spend more time on yourself, even if it means working harder so you can leave work 30 minutes early three days a week to do something for your health (I know, it sounds like a lot to fit in, but you can do it). Be bold. Make decisions that inspire you. Challenge yourself. Turn the TV off for a solid week and see how much extra time you have to improve your life. If you are on medication, realize that within 30 days of eating right and exercising, many medications are not needed. Don’t assume once your doctor gives you a pill, that you are now a patient for life. (But remember to check with your doctor before stopping or changing any medications!) Grab control of your life. After all, you only get one, so live it without regrets.

Let me leave you with these parting thoughts. Losing weight is all about changing your mind-set and searching your soul. Determine what you want out of life, then go get it! Don’t let a defeatist attitude or buried secrets stop you. Don’t be a victim. Deal with the emotional aspects of your life that need attention and fight each day for what you want. Because you are worth it. Say it out loud!

“I’m going to fight each day because I am worth it!”

Say it a thousand times a day until you believe it. Because I already do. I believe in you. I know the power of your mind, and I know you are capable of anything.

What’s easier, taking multiple pills each day or working your butt off exercising and eating right? A pill, of course—the pharmaceutical industry is counting on you to say that! Their quarterly earnings depend on it. But if everyone chose exercise and a nutritionally rich diet instead, many people could live a life free of pills. The most underused antidepressant on the planet is a pair of running shoes!

I’ve seen people go off medication after a mere 30 days of exercise and eating healthfully. No more insulin, no more blood pressure medication, no more Prozac and Xanax, no more Lipitor . . . the list goes on. Even if you’re not on medication, isn’t your quality of life worth 30 days of hard work? Thirty days is the perfect amount of time to get control and launch you into a totally new lifestyle. Thirty days to help you feel alive again. Thirty days to teach all those naysayers to be proud of you.

Don’t get me wrong. You can’t just go back to your old ways after 30 days. But 30 days will give you a jump-start, a path into a whole new way of living. What follows are a month’s worth of ideas to help you put all that I’ve talked about into practice. There’s a sort of order to them, but you can really do them in any order. Just do them! That’s all I care about.

As you go through the next month, there are a few things I think will increase your chances of success. The first is, start your day by doing something good for yourself. Exercise is my number-one choice for starting the day, because if you don’t get it out of the way early, you have a greater likelihood of just saying “forget it” later in the day. But if you’re not a morning exerciser, then start the day with a healthy breakfast. None of the bear claw pastries, fast-food breakfast sandwiches, or triple-mocha-latte crap. Start out eating something good for you at the beginning of the day, and chances are that you’ll make smart food decisions the rest of the day, too.

The second thing I would advise you to do is surround yourself with people who will cheer you on, help you, inspire you, hold you accountable—and just hold you if you need a hug. Everything I’ve set out for you in this 30-day plan will work so much better if you have like-minded, compassionate people by your side.

Remember, this is just 30 days to get you going and help you try out some new ways of living. Don’t take your foot off the gas after 30 days—or anytime in the future. You’re in this for a lifetime!

That’s it. Take a walk. Don’t run before you can walk. Literally. Start with something you know you can accomplish: Go for a 30-minute walk after dinner. Don’t worry about speed; don’t worry about distance. No data other than time. Just walk. Go out 15 minutes, come back 15 minutes. Now from this day forward, do this every night. If it’s not safe for you to walk at night where you live, do it on your lunch hour or some other time of day. What you want to do is create a habit. Maybe you did something similar with your kids or your parents did it with you: Every night, there’s bath, books, then bed. It’s a habit, routine. Walking is going to be the same thing for you. Don’t deviate, just like you don’t deviate from brushing your teeth each night. This is a very simple way to start training yourself to live differently.

Ultimately, you should use these walks to segue into a more vigorous cardiovascular workout routine. This could be anything from more walking to running or working out on an elliptical trainer. Get that heart rate up! Check back into Chapter 16 to help you think about the options open to you.

Just how hungry are you? Probably not as hungry as you think. I’m going to take a wild guess and say that you like to pile up your plate high. And maybe once you’ve stuffed all of that food down, you even feel pretty uncomfortable. “Oh, I ate too much!” Still, you do it again at the next meal, and the one after that. You have to wake up to your body. There’s a reason your eyes are bigger than your stomach. It takes time for your brain to get the signal that your stomach has had enough. If you keep eating without pause, you’re never going to get the message, and you’re never going to retrain yourself to eat moderate amounts of food.

Today, you’re going to prove that you don’t need the piles of wings and mountain of pasta you think you do. Make up your dinner plate as you normally would. Dish up the vegetables, put some chicken beside it, spoon on some rice—whatever you usually eat when you’re trying to eat healthfully, and however much of it you usually eat. Eat half of it. Take your plate into the kitchen, and go for the 30-minute walk that’s now part of your regular routine. If you’re still hungry after the 30 minutes are up, eat the rest of the food. Most people never do.