The Billionaire's First Christmas - Contemporary Romance (15 page)

I woke up the next morning feeling
restless, but unsure what to do with myself. I knew that Aaron
planned on leaving on Christmas Eve for his trip, and I considered
calling him, just to wish him a good trip. I didn’t, instead I got
out my laptop and I typed his name into the search engine. I got
over ten million hits. I was flabbergasted. I couldn’t imagine ever
being known that well. I started thinking about what that must be
like, for your life to be at someone’s fingertips.

I searched through the hits I got for
a history. I found the history of him founding the company and I
was able to follow him through to today, but before that it was
like he didn’t exist. Where did he come from, and what happened to
him to make him guard his loneliness like a shield? I closed the
laptop in frustration. I was probably never going to find out what
it was about Christmas that bothered him so badly, unless someday
he chose to tell me himself.

I gave up looking for it and thinking
about it for the moment and went out to the mall. I was hoping a
lot of Christmas music and shopping and merriment would make me
feel better. Just in case I also had a large cup of hot chocolate
and a couple of chocolate chip cookies. If the Christmas merriment
failed, the sugar was a sure fire cure.

AARON

December 22nd will go down in my own
personal history as one of the worst nights of my life. I didn’t
really have bad days, or nights. Besides work, I went out of my way
to keep my stress level to a minimum, until I met Robyn and seemed
to screw up over and over again. The night of the party wasn’t
going so badly until I left Robyn sitting underneath the mistletoe
in the snow. The look on her face made my heart feel like it was
literally breaking. That in itself was a feat, since I’d built a
solid wall of ice around it years before.

I had so much fun dancing with her.
Not only did she feel wonderful in my arms, she was singing in my
ear and it was beautiful and she smelled good enough to eat. I got
a little carried away with it until I realized I was having too
much fun and we were the center of the entire room’s attention. I
told myself that walking away before it went any further was the
right thing to do. I was the CEO of the company, after all. I did
have a reputation to uphold. Plus, there were the concerns I had
about Robyn. I worried about getting too close to her at a time of
year when I only craved solitude. I hadn’t wanted to complicate
things, but the look on her face made me want to go back and take
her into my arms, kiss her passionately, and apologize profusely
for being the biggest ass on the face of the earth. Obviously,
since it was already the 24th of December and I still hadn’t talked
to her… I didn’t turn around and go back. I’d taken the coward’s
way out.

I hadn’t slept in two days. The first
night I went over and over it in my head. By the end of the night
that pitiful look on her face and the sight of her sitting there in
the snow with her cheeks flushed and her hair turning white was
burned into my brain and my heart. The next day I didn’t even get
out of bed. I was the CEO of one of the top ten most successful
companies in the world. I hadn’t spent an entire day in bed since…
ever. But on December 23rd, I lay in my bed from sunup until
sundown, feeling like a zit on the underbelly of humanity. Jeffrey
brought me lunch and asked about Robyn.

“How should I know how she’s doing?” I
snapped at him. “She’s just an employee. I have no idea how she
is.”

“Excuse me sir,” he said in a
sarcastic tone. “I was under the impression you cared for the young
lady.”

“Well I don’t, Jeffrey. Like I said,
she’s an employee.” It sounded false to my own ears. It must have
sounded false to his as well. He gave me a disapproving look, but
no more disapproving than the one I was giving myself inwardly. I’d
told myself over and over not to encourage her, but I’d done it
anyways and then I walked away.

He finally left and I was glad. It was
hard enough to have my own accusing eyes on me, but to also have
his as well was too much. After he left, I’d gone back into
hibernation mode.

I finally fell asleep sometime around
three a.m. on Christmas Eve. I woke up about five hours later. I
lay there for a minute, considering what I was going to do with my
day. My plane wasn’t leaving until the late afternoon, but spending
a second day in bed wasn’t an option. I got up and showered and
finished packing. I ate a light breakfast and had my coffee, but
then I was at a loss for what to do for the rest of the day until
it was time to leave. It was another first for me. Usually, if I
had a free hour or two I’d work. There was always work that I could
do. I could always answer an email or ten, review a report or fifty
and research new parts of the world that I wanted to break into.
Today I was too preoccupied. I was afraid if I even tried, I would
make a decision that I might later regret just because of the mood
I was in. I still couldn’t get my mind off of Robyn, wondering if
she would speak to me when I got back from my trip, wondering if we
could possibly start over. I suddenly realized that I felt like I
was choking on all of this indecision. I hated it. I needed some
air. I had to get out of the apartment.

Jeffrey was supposed to pick me up to
go to the airport later in the afternoon. I sent him a message that
I’d decided to drive myself and would just park in long-term
parking. I text him instead of calling, he was probably relieved.
He had grown fond of Robyn and I’m sure that it was hard for him to
keep his tongue in check about the way I’ve treated her. He was a
complete professional, but the day before I could see on his face
that it was eating away at him. He had known me for a long time.
I’m sure he could easily read me and he knew I was lying about not
having feelings for her.

I sat the luggage I’d packed just
inside the door of the apartment so it would be easy to gather and
load when I got back. I honestly had no idea where I was going or
what I would do when I got there. All I knew was that I needed a
change of scenery and some fresh air before I suffocated. I drove
aimlessly around the city for almost an hour when I suddenly
realized where I was. I was in the vicinity of the Christmas fair
that Robyn and I had gone to the day she was the “boss.” Surprising
myself, I found a parking spot and wandered through the parking lot
and into the park where the fair was going on. It was like I was
being led by some kind of invisible force.

CHAPTER
FOURTEEN

~

AARON

The Christmas Eve snow was falling
lightly and Christmas music was being piped through speakers in the
trees. I thought about what Robyn said about the first snow of the
season being “magic” and I wondered what she would say about
Christmas snow. I passed a few carolers and remembered how
beautifully she’d sung both that day at the park and the night we
danced together. It was like she didn’t do anything that wasn’t
perfect or beautiful.

I found it funny that I’d come here
alone. This was exactly the last place anyone who knew me would
think of looking for me on this day or any other. I could truly
disappear into the fair and no one on earth would find me. It was
the last place I would have pictured myself as well, and here I was
for the second time this season. I had to smile as I thought about
what a good job Robyn had done, almost getting me into the holiday
spirit… almost. I’d had a fantastic time that day with her. The
games were fun and although it took me twenty dollars to win a
two-dollar toy, I’d had a blast doing it. The food was great which
surprised me and I loved snuggling with her on the carriage ride.
Making snow angels was even a treat… although Robyn was the only
person in the world that I could picture myself doing that with. It
most definitely was not the least bit sophisticated.

I wandered around the market, going in
and out of the same shops that Robyn and I shopped at and watching
the festive crowd ride the rides and play the games and I realized
that the spirit she’d instilled in me was gone and I started to
believe that it hadn’t really been about Christmas at all. It had
been about the fire she’d lit in the pit of my gut. She was no
longer here to stoke it, so the fire had burnt out. I had to wonder
what the rest of her life was like, outside of work. She was always
so happy and upbeat that it was hard to be anything else around
her. Surely she didn’t spend as much time alone as I did. When you
were alone a lot you became introspective and it was difficult to
reach outside of yourself far enough to touch others. Robyn was an
expert at reaching out and touching other’s hearts.

I thought back over the times that
Robyn and I had contact since the night of the auction. Most of it
had been because for whatever reason, she refused to give up. By
all rights, she should have run in the other direction by now. I
hadn’t been warm, friendly or forthcoming about myself and my life,
yet she’d still seemed to want to be around me. It was strange that
I didn’t feel she was forcing herself on me. I believed that she
just truly wanted me to enjoy Christmas the way that she did. She
shared her story about her Christmas with her family with me and I
didn’t share a thing with her. I had my own Christmas story, but
mine was sad and depressing.

She took me ice-skating and she wasn’t
the least bit embarrassed to be seen with me when I was sitting on
the ice on my ass. She usually went down with me and we would get
back up together and try again. It wasn’t at all what I had come to
expect from people. People didn’t treat me the same as they did
others. I was always either deferred to because of my status and
money, or I was kissed up to. There didn’t seem to be any happy
medium… no one treated me the same as they did their other friends
and acquaintances - until I met Robyn. She didn’t treat me like her
boss, she wasn’t intimidated by my status, and she didn’t seem to
want anything from me, except to see that I was as happy as she
was. On the other hand, I’d acted like Scrooge and I walked away at
a time when most men would be jumping for joy. She wanted to kiss
me under the mistletoe. The prettiest woman at the party had eyes
for me, and I left her sitting there in the cold. I’d found a
person who treated me like a human being at last. It was what I
wanted, supposedly, yet I’d failed to act like I deserved
it.

I continued to wander around the fair,
turning down the offers of “fresh baked cookies” and “handmade
trinkets.” Disgusted both with myself and the festive atmosphere, I
headed back towards the parking lot and my car. I’d had as much
“Merry Christmas” and happy families as I could take for one day,
and I just had to accept that I’d messed things up with Robyn,
likely to the point of no return.

I stepped around a pile of little
boys, wrestling and getting wet and dirty in the snow. They were
tattering their Christmas best their mothers had dressed them in
for the occasion, but they looked like they were having a great
time. I got back onto the sidewalk once I was around them and that
was when I saw her. She looked beautiful, as usual. She had on blue
jeans and a white parka. Her white beanie looked handmade and she
had gloves to match. I stood mesmerized by the sight of her as she
walked through the booths, taking long strides in her fur-lined
white boots and with a smile on her gorgeous face. She looked like
she was heading somewhere with a purpose in mind.

I thought about catching up to her and
saying hello. Maybe trying to explain somehow why I’d left her
sitting there the other night. I wasn’t sure how to do that without
telling her my life story and I wasn’t ready to talk about that. I
knew I should say something though. She deserved more respect than
what I’d shown her so far. While I was trying to hide my feelings,
I’d taken it too far the other way, I think. I hung back for a few
minutes to see what she was doing, and when I saw her go up to the
hot chocolate stand and buy three hot chocolates I was glad I
hadn’t gone over. I assumed she was with friends and I wouldn’t
want to dampen her holiday celebrations. I should have turned and
gone back to my car then, but I continued to watch her instead. She
took the drink carrier from the girl at the kiosk and again, smiled
merrily at everyone she passed as she made her way back through the
park in the other direction. I’m no stalker, but I was very curious
about her life and what type of people she surrounded herself with
that made her so happy, so I followed her.

She walked through the park away from
the fair. I thought that was strange and she made her way down a
little cobblestone path to the sidewalk. There were a lot of people
out and about, doing their last minute shopping no doubt, so it was
easy for me to follow her without her noticing for a while. Her
white beanie helped, I could see it bobbing up and down in the
midst of the crowd if I couldn’t see her. Eventually, she turned
down another street. It was a little side street, not much bigger
than an alleyway. There wasn’t much foot traffic and no way for me
to hide in plain sight as I did when I was chasing her across the
park. I hung back so she didn’t see me and when she got a few
blocks away, I saw her turn again about a block ahead of me. That
was when I advanced again, but when I got to that street, I
couldn’t see her any longer. The street turned into a dead end and
there was nothing there but a cobbled path that led to an old
cemetery. It was a beautiful old graveyard that judging from the
style of some of the mausoleums, looked like it had been around for
decades. It was one that I wasn’t familiar with although I’d lived
in the city my entire life. It was tucked away into its own little
haven with statues of angels and intricately carved tombs towering
above the simple gravestones. Big, sad looking weeping willow trees
surrounded the grounds and gave it kind of a spooky appearance. I
didn’t really do graveyards.