The Black Album (5 page)

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Authors: Hanif Kureishi

Tags: #Literary, #Drama, #General, #Fiction

BOOK: The Black Album
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SCENE EIGHT
 

A high-rise flat in the East End. Night. The gang tip out
knives, cleavers, etc. from the rucksacks they’ve been
carrying
.

 

Chad
Weapons training.

 

Chad demonstrates, to the accompaniment of rousing
quwaali music from his boom box. Shahid, Hat and
Tahira go through a drill. Chad starts to weep
.

 
 

Shahid
What’s wrong, Chad?

 

Chad
I’m moved by my people’s suffering. Can’t keep it together.

 

Shahid
If you keep blubbing, the old man is not going to have much confidence in us.

 

Chad
You’re right. (
Blows his nose
.) You stubborn but sensible. We here to defend the man terrorised by racists. Bring ’em on! United in defence of West Compton Estate!

 

They finish their drill. Tahira clears a study area for
Hat as the guys lounge after the work-out. Shahid
looks to slip away but Chad holds him back
.

 

(
To Shahid, watching Tahira at work
.) This great sister here, Tahira, she been with us from day one. Riaz like a father to her. Her old man threw her out because she wanted her mum and sisters to cover up.

 

Tahira
Park yourself here, Hat.

 

Hat
Ta, Tahira.

 

He moves to the space Tahira’s cleared for him, takes
out his books from his duffel bag and starts on his
homework. Tahira sits with the others
.

 

Tahira
(
to Shahid
) Hat always studying. His father – he’s putting too much pressure on him to be an accountant.

 

Shahid
He’s here with us tonight.

 

Tahira
But the father thinks Hat visiting his auntie in Sunderland today.

 

Chad
He think we stopping Hat being an accountant. But we ain’t. We only say accountants have to meet many women. And shake hands with them. They expected, too, to take alcohol every day and get involved in interest payments. We not sure Hat won’t feel left out, you know?

 

Tahira
And you’re expected to take drugs in the City. And meet strippers at lunchtime. Chad, could you close your legs, please?

 

Chad brings his knees together
.

 

Tahira
I see you like wearing tight trousers.

 

Chad
I do, yes.

 

Tahira
Can’t you wear something looser? We have to look modest. Think it’s easy wearing the hijab? Yesterday a man on the street ripped my scarf off and shouted, ‘This is England, not Arabia.’

 

Chad
(
sheepish, looking at Shahid
) I’ve been looking out for some Oxford bags for a while.

 

Tahira
That will be progress. And aren’t you thinking of growing a beard? Look at Hat, his is really coming on now. (
Feeling Shahid’s smooth-shaven chin
.) Even Shahid has got something bushy on the way.

 

Chad
My skin needs breathing space, otherwise I develop an itchy rash.

 

Tahira
Vanity should be the least of your concerns.

 

Chad
(
to Shahid
) I’ll put something bushy in your face if you don’t stop smirkin’!

 

Shahid
Sorry, brother. How long is this vigil going to last?

 

Chad
Could be days, you know – them racists sometimes clever.

 

Shahid
I have to go off for a few hours – family business.

 

Just as Shahid is about to leave, Riaz enters, wearing
the red Paul Smith shirt and jeans. The gang stare at
him
.

 

Chad
All present, brother Riaz.

 

Riaz
I am very happy you are with us, Shahid.

 

Shahid
(
appraising Riaz
) Suits you.

 

Riaz is puzzled. Chad steps in to explain
.

 

Chad
(
to Riaz
) Your clothes needed washing, brother. Shahid lent his shirt and trousers. (
With pride
.) Brother Riaz look smart, eh!

 

Riaz
Thank you. Thank you. (
Diffident
.) I just picked up what I saw on my chair – fashion passes by me.

 

Tahira
You look like a general.

 

Chad
Or a chairman. When the racists see the brothers strong, they whimper like dogs with tails between their legs!

 

Riaz
Time for prayers.

 

There is a loud bang on the door. Startled, they pick
up their weapons, as Chad pushes Shahid forward
.

 

Chad
Check it out. Don’t fear – you reinforced up!

 

Shahid opens the door and sees an eager Strapper,
looking around curiously
.

 

Strapper
Want anything?

 

Shahid
What?

 

Strapper
Skunk, trips, E? Don’t worry, all the Pakibusters are indoors watching the match.

 

Shahid
Show us where they live, then. You know who they are.

 

Strapper
What’re you gonna do, burn them out? I can fire places up, if you like.

 

Shahid
Who are you?

 

Strapper
Strapper. An Asian family left their flat and I’m squatting here for my business.

 

Shahid
What business?

 

Strapper
You name it, man, I’ve had experience of it. Police, courts, kids’ homes, rehabilitation centres, social workers. I tell you, Blacks and Pakis, the people put down, and outside, they generous and loving. My partner – he a Paki like you – he takes me to all kinds of hip apartments in his cool car, full of birds. Keeps saying this place’s too small for him. If you’re not buying nothing, I gotta swing over to him in north London – our new base of operations!

 

Shahid
Where are the racists, Strapper? Just point at their door and we’ll do the rest.

 

Strapper laughs
.

 

Strapper
You wanna find someone who hates another race? Just knock on any door. Course I used to be a skinhead, myself.

 

Shahid
What?

 

Strapper
Supported Millwall, see. Me Black mates were always chasing me. One time they tied a noose round me neck and tried to throw me over a bridge.

 

Shahid drags him back into the flat. Frosty atmosphere
.

 

Shahid
This is Strapper. Maybe he can help.

 

Strapper
How you doing, Trevor, mate? Respect, eh?

 

Chad
Fuck off! That’s not my truth!

 

Strapper
Just being polite.

 

Chad
(
to Shahid
) What the fuck you bring him here for?

 

Strapper
You a Paki, me a delinquent. How does it feel to be a problem for this world?

 

Chad
(
pushing Strapper
) I’m a solution, not a problem! Diseases like you need sterilising.

 

Strapper
Don’t touch me, man – I got rights too, you know.

 

Shahid
(
to Chad
) He could point out the racists – we’d seize the initiative then.

 

Chad
He can only point to his arse. We got our sister here to think of.

 

Tahira
Chad can be fierce when his blood races.

 

Brownlow rushes in
.

 

Brownlow
Comrades! Any sign of the lunatics?

 

Strapper
Not till now!

 

Riaz welcomes Brownlow in
.

 

Riaz
We are so happy you received the message and are able to provide support, Dr Brownlow. So many immoral people surround us here.

 

Brownlow
Ghastly – this estate! What has been done to these people! Crimes against humanity. Important to visit wastelands regularly. Lest we forget. Seeing them, one understands a lot. It’s obvious, not surprising –

 

Riaz
I beg your pardon? What is not surprising to you, Dr Brownlow, my friend?

 

Brownlow is leering at Tahira. She moves closer to Hat
.

 

Brownlow
That they’re violently in love with beauty. I’ve been wading around, you know, an hour or two in Hades, lost in the foul damp. Breeding grounds of race antipathy – infecting everyone, passed on like Aids. Often wished in my adult life, that I could be r-r-religious.

 

Riaz
It is never too late for higher wisdom.

 

Brownlow
(
apologetic
) Read Bertrand Russell at fourteen. Expect you know him, don’t you, T-T-Tariq?

 

Shahid
My name is Shahid.

 

Brownlow
Of course. Does Deedee only make you watch Prince videos?

 

Shahid
She’s a good teacher.

 

Brownlow
Not a patch on Russell, I bet. Put the deity in his place, Russell. Said that if He existed He would be a fool. God is man’s greatest creation. (
To Riaz
.) Surely the act of believing is – of no practical use on these estates, to this class. It – it is – dishonest! Yes, d-d-dishonest! Even the lowest class must decide good and evil for themselves.

 

Riaz
Please excuse me, but you are a little arrogant. First you ask these poor people to believe in the brotherhood of classes. Now, when your Communist dream has been shown to be just that, you set them adrift to think for themselves. You see now how Western civilisation is proving to be a hoax?

 

Brownlow
But this civilisation has also brought us –

 

Strapper
Drugs, mate – and the police.

 

Brownlow
(
ignoring the interruption
) – science, psychoanalysis, a stable political culture, organised sport – at a pretty high level, mind you, e-e-except for England. And all this hand in hand with critical enquiry. Which means steely questions. And ideas. Ideas being the e-e-enemy of religion.

 

Riaz
Why must they be? My dear Dr Brownlow, revolution everywhere has been an act of faith.

 

Brownlow
No – that is how the working classes have been exploited. More than any other class they must be f-f-free to think for themselves.

 

Riaz
And what did free thinking bring them with your Communism? The great gift we offer our poor uneducated – (
indicating Strapper
) yes, even this uneducated poor boy – is the example of our Prophet – peace be upon him! – who brought about a revolution of equality in Arabia by the simple act of belief.

 

Brownlow
I must admit not having associated revolution with I-I-Islam. I suspect that is what F-F-Foucault discovered in the Iranian revolution in ’79.

 

Riaz
I do not know the man personally, my friend, but he sounds like a good man whose heart has been changed by simple belief. And don’t we all strive to be good?

 

Brownlow
Foucault saw in the revolution a clear triumph of the Iranian working class.

 

Riaz
Precisely what we can achieve here. Come now, it is time to pray. I will be your guide.

 

Strapper leaves. Riaz unfurls his prayer mat and kneels
on it. The others clear space and follow his example.
Shahid stands awkwardly by, before Hat guides him.
The ‘azaan’ is heard. When they finish, Riaz sits, with
the others fanned around him
.

 

Now I am calm. So, my subject today. Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

 

Laughter
.

 

Allah in his mercy has given us another sign of his continuing magnificence, through the disease that has now taken over the West – Aids. A name through which Allah reveals his warning – Adam is definitely Satan! For it is when Adam and Steve come together that the West is shown by Allah to have cancer in its feet – those very feet that help it to stand on the necks of the poor the world over. So what should we do with Adam and Steve? When you go to hospital to meet a cancer patient, do you argue, do you shout? No, you take the person sweet grapes and bright flowers. Gentle persuasion, reciting the words of Allah as revealed in the Koran, will help Adam turn away from Steve and start looking at Eve.

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