The Blessed (28 page)

“Do you think he’ll answer a prayer about a cow?”

“He’ll answer. Miss Mona used to tell me the Lord always answers. It’s just that we don’t like the answer sometimes.” She was quiet a few seconds before she went on. “I’m not going to like the answer this time if it isn’t that poor calf getting born right.”

“I prayed when my wife was sick,” Isaac said. “She died just the same.”

“Miss Mona used to say we got good out of the prayer even when we didn’t like the answer. That the good Lord helped us through.”

Isaac glanced over at Lacey. “You know what your Miss Mona believed, but what about what you believe? Do you know that?”

His words came out harsher than he’d intended and she looked near tears as she answered. “I used to know. Before Miss Mona passed and everything got in such a tangled up mess.” Then she flattened her lips in a thin, determined line. “But I’m going to figure it all out again, and I don’t care what you say. I think the Lord doesn’t mind a bit that I’m thinking on praying for this cow here. Or that other prayers are rising up in my heart. If he’s knowing how many hairs I’ve got on my head like the Bible tells us, he knows what I’ve got in my heart, don’t you think?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” Isaac said. “I’m the one who doesn’t know what to believe. Or what I should be praying about.”

Her mouth softened. “How about I just say a prayer for both of us. The kind Miss Mona would say.” She didn’t wait for his answer, but instead shut her eyes and kept talking. “Dear Lord, please help this little cow have her calf. And help me and Brother Isaac know what we believe. Amen.”

“I thought praying was more complicated than that.”

“Sometimes. But other times we can just be out with what we want to be telling the Lord and that’s good enough.” Lacey nodded toward the cow as she eased her hold on the rope enough to let the cow lay back down. “Look, I think she’s trying again.”

This time both feet appeared and then the head was out, still wrapped in the birth membrane. Two more minutes and the calf was out on the ground. When the cow started clambering to her feet again, Isaac told Lacey, “Let her go.”

He yanked the makeshift halter off the cow’s head before she got all the way up. The cow gave Isaac a wary look before mooing softly and turning to her calf to start licking it. Isaac pulled his handkerchief out to wipe off his arm as he watched her.

“Come on, little fellow,” he said under his breath. “Talk to your mama.”

Lacey stepped up beside him, the slack rope still in her hand. “Is it all right?”

“I don’t know. But the mama hasn’t given up.”

“Mamas don’t,” Lacey said.

Something in her voice made Isaac look over at her. He had the feeling she was talking about more than the cow, but just then the calf raised its head and shook its ears free of the birth sac. Isaac let out a little whoop and grabbed Lacey and swung her around as she laughed out loud.

“The angels told me you found someone else to dance with,” a voice said behind them.

28

Lacey almost fell again when Isaac hurriedly set her down at the sound of Aurelia’s voice. She staggered backward to get her footing, and Isaac had to grab her arm to steady her. It had to be her dizzy day. For sure all the talk of angels and then getting lost and now the little cow mooing and licking her calf was enough to make a person’s head spin. That didn’t even take into account how the terrible sadness of Rachel turning away from her mixed so strangely with the good feeling of talking to Isaac. She didn’t know how a person could want to laugh and cry at the same time, but she did.

She shot a little grin at Isaac before she stepped away from his hand. She was steady on her feet as she turned to look at Aurelia, leaning against a tree not far from the one Isaac had wrapped the rope around. She was still almost half hidden and Lacey wondered how long she’d been there, listening and watching. Had she been waiting to catch them doing wrong before she spoke up to let them know she was there?

Aurelia didn’t wish her ill, Lacey told herself as she pushed the uncharitable thought to the back of her mind. Aurelia wasn’t only her Shaker sister. She was a friend. Besides, Lacey didn’t want to think about Shaker rules and spying eyes. Watching the little calf spill out into the world and then shake its head with life was too fresh in her head. Isaac grabbing her had been a spontaneous reaction to his joy in seeing the calf alive. A moment of celebration. That’s all. A celebration Aurelia could join in and share.

“Look, Sister Aurelia. The calf. It’s trying to get up.” Lacey beckoned to Aurelia and then looked back at the calf. With the cow still licking it, the calf pushed up on its front legs to raise its head. It wobbled there half up and half down before it plopped down again. Worried, she glanced up at Isaac. “Is something wrong with its legs?” She’d seen new calves in the fields around the church, but never one so new. Those calves were always running all around the mother cows.

“Nay,” Isaac said. “Keep watching.”

The little cow mooed softly and nudged the calf with her nose. The calf pushed its front legs up again before raising its rump up on its back legs. A few wobbly steps and it instinctively headed for the cow’s udder. After nursing a couple of minutes, the calf’s tail began flicking back and forth.

“He’ll be all right now.” Isaac picked up the rope and began winding it up.

He was still smiling.

Aurelia moved up beside Lacey. She looked as bedraggled as Lacey felt, with strands of hair escaping her cap the same as Lacey’s. A few sticktights clung to the bottom of her skirt, and her collar was a bit askew. But at least her mess was all on the outside. And not on the inside like Lacey’s. Then again she thought she danced with angels. So who could say what the stranger mess was.

“What happened to you, Sister Lacey?” Aurelia said with barely a glance toward the calf. “The angels weren’t happy when you didn’t come.”

“I fell down. By the time I got up, you were too far ahead. I couldn’t find you.”

“You should have let the angels lead you.”

“If they’d come down and took hold of my hand, I’d have been glad for them to show me the way. But I didn’t happen to see the first one of them.” Lacey didn’t bother to hide her irritation. Aurelia couldn’t be running off losing her in the woods practically on purpose and then blaming her for getting lost. She had plenty to take blame for what she’d done. She wasn’t about to take blame for what she hadn’t done.

“Perhaps that’s because your eyes were too full of other things.” Aurelia frowned toward Isaac.

“I walked some way before my eyes saw Brother Isaac, if that’s what you’re trying to say. All I was seeing were trees and bushes. And then I found this little cow trying to have a calf. I was trying to find my way back to the barns to tell somebody when I ran into Brother Isaac, who just happened to be hunting this very cow. I guess that was a lucky thing.”

“What does a Believer have to do with luck? A Believer leaves nothing to chance. Each and every day is planned and arranged,” Aurelia said.

“And yet we didn’t do the duties planned for us on this day. We ran off to the woods.”

“Nay, there are many duties. It is as much a duty to listen to the angels as to pick strawberries. We were called to the woods by the angels.”

“Did you find them?” Lacey peered at her and wondered whether Aurelia would have found the angels if Lacey had been able to keep up with her. For sure Lacey didn’t believe she would have seen a single one.

“They found me and they would have found you too if you hadn’t tried to find your way by yourself.”

“She found the cow instead,” Isaac spoke up. “And a good thing too. Else I might not have gotten to her in time to help her deliver the calf while it was still alive.”

Aurelia looked at Isaac. “Do you call that luck, Brother Isaac?”

“Nay, not luck, Sister. Providence. The Lord’s providence. And a calf to show for it.” Isaac pointed to the calf with evident pride.

“Is the calf a heifer?” Aurelia looked toward the calf for the first time. It was still suckling and the mother looked oblivious to them watching her.

“Not a heifer,” Isaac said.

“Then the poor animal’s fate will be to end up on your plate in time,” Aurelia said as her lips turned down. “Its hide will become shoes on our feet.”

“For the good of the Society,” Isaac said.

“Yea, the Lord’s providential care. We do our duties and we labor our worship and we eat and sleep and the Lord sends down his love. It doesn’t matter if there are prayers that go unanswered. Days that are naught but clouds. Miracles that fade away at sunrise.”

“Are you all right, Sister Aurelia?” Lacey had never heard her sound so bitter.

“I’m right as rain. How could I not be all right after dancing with the angels?”

“I don’t know. You don’t sound like yourself.”

“Then perhaps it is not me. Perhaps an angel lingers inside me. Perhaps several angels. They guided me back to you, you know. The angels are very interested in you, Sister Lacey.”

“Why?”

“Some questions are to be asked, but they have no answers.”

“You’re talking in riddles today, Sister Aurelia.”

“Riddles are not the Shaker way. Come, Sister, we must return to our duties and let Brother Isaac continue his.”

“As you say, Sister Aurelia.” But Lacey hesitated as she looked back at the calf and then at Isaac whose smile had disappeared. “Will you take the cow to the barn?”

“I’ll wait awhile, and then encourage her back through the trees toward the barn.”

“Perhaps we should stay to help you drive her.” Lacey was reluctant to leave the little calf. And Isaac.

“Sister Lacey.” Aurelia’s voice was sharp as she turned away from the cow and calf and took a few steps before she stopped to say, “Sin lies in wait to overtake us.”

“Surely not with your angels all around to protect you. To keep us from dashing our feet on a stone.”

“They do look on me with favor, but they might not feel so kindly toward you right now since you spurned their dances.” Aurelia held her hand out to Lacey. “Come. It is not good for sisters to be at odds. We must seek peace between us. Our brother can tend to the cow or such a duty would not have been assigned to him.”

Lacey hesitated there between Aurelia and Isaac. She knew which way her feet wanted to move, but it was perhaps true that sin was lying in wait for her in that direction.

“She’s right,” Isaac told her. “I can see to the cow. But when you get back to the village, it would be good of you to get one of the brethren to let Brother Asa know all is well.”

“All is well.” Lacey echoed his words. If only that were true.

His eyes softened on her. “Thank you for holding the rope, Lacey. I couldn’t have done it without your help.”

She took one last look at the calf. It had stopped nursing and was staring toward her with big moist eyes. She still wanted to smile when she looked at it standing there by its mother. A gift of life.
Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
She didn’t know why the Beatitude came to mind, but it made it easier for her to turn away and follow Aurelia into the trees away from the place she wanted to stay.

“Do you know your way back?” she asked Aurelia when she caught up with her.

“Of course I do. The path is clear.” Aurelia pointed ahead of them. “Don’t you see it?”

“Nay, but I will trust that you do.”

“It could be that you trust too easily, my sister,” Aurelia said.

Lacey didn’t know what to say to that, so she stayed silent as she followed along behind Aurelia. A silence that Aurelia seemed to embrace as they made their way through the trees.

It wasn’t until they stepped out of the woods into the pasture field that Aurelia spoke again. She stopped then and looked straight at Lacey. “The angels seem to be throwing you and Brother Isaac together.”

“I can’t see what the angels have to do with me getting lost in the woods and stumbling across him today. I thought they wanted me to follow you.”

“Perhaps they did. Perhaps they didn’t.”

Lacey had had enough of Aurelia’s riddle talk. “Look, Sister Aurelia, I don’t know what’s going on with you today, but I know what I’ve done and what I haven’t done. I helped Brother Isaac get that calf born. I didn’t do anything wrong. I got lost. That’s all.”

“And then found,” Aurelia said. “You say you did nothing wrong, Sister Lacey, but I saw your face as he swung you around. You had no wish for that to end. And I heard him call your name. Lacey. Not
Sister
Lacey. He does not see you as a sister.”

“Even if any of that’s true, and I’m not saying it is, but even if it is, it doesn’t matter. I am married to Preach—Brother Elwood.”

“Your marriage vows mean nothing here.” Aurelia stared hard at Lacey. “If they ever meant anything.”

Lacey dropped her eyes to the ground.
Blessed are the meek.
She let the words whisper through her mind. “I will confess my sins to Sister Drayma,” she said without looking up.

They stood there for a long minute as the silence built around them before Aurelia said, “Nay, I don’t think that would be wise.”

Surprised, Lacey looked up at her. “But I thought I was to confess all wrongs.”

“You say you’ve done no wrong, and if you truly believe that, then sometimes it is best to keep a few things secret. Sister Drayma might not understand the innocence of your meeting the brother in the woods and refuse to allow you to go to the spiritual feast Saturday. Plus your confession might cause trouble for our brother.”

Lacey didn’t care about the Shakers’ spiritual feast, but she didn’t want to be trouble for Isaac. “I wouldn’t want that to happen.”

“Nor would the angels. Not if they are the reason behind this.” The hint of a smile played around Aurelia’s lips and then was gone. “The angels have many secrets.”

“That they tell you?”

“Perhaps they speak them through me. But if they did, they would no longer be secrets, would they?” She reached out and wrapped her fingers around Lacey’s upper arm so tightly that it hurt. “Trust me, and when the time is right, I will share the secrets I know with you. And I will keep your secrets.”

Just as suddenly as she’d grabbed Lacey, she let her go and then turned to start across the pasture. “We’ve missed the noon meal, but if we hurry we might be able to pick a basket of berries and keep Sister Drayma from frowning too much. Especially if I tell her about dancing with the angels. That is not secret. I’ll say you danced too.”

“That would be a lie.” Lacey rubbed her arm. Keeping her meeting with Isaac a secret didn’t bother Lacey, but telling a lie did.

“If I don’t say who you danced with, it won’t be exactly a lie.” She smiled over her shoulder at Lacey. “Now will it?”

“Bending the truth is a kind of lie,” Lacey said as she hurried to keep up with Aurelia.

“True enough,” Aurelia agreed. “But didn’t you tell me that you used to make up stories for your little girl? What are stories but many lies strung together?”

“Stories are just stories. For fun. Not lies.”

“So you say, but do I say the same?”

Lacey let out a sigh. “You are a mystery today, Sister Aurelia, with your secrets and your riddles.”

“Indeed. That is a truth we can agree on. We both have our mysterious secrets.” Aurelia laughed so loudly that the cows on the other side of the field raised their heads to stare toward them.

Once they were across the field and back in the village, Aurelia stopped on the pathway to adjust her cap and collar. She gave Lacey the once-over. “You’d best fix your cap too, Sister. A Shaker sister’s hair must be hidden. We would not want to break any rules.”

For a minute Lacey thought Aurelia might be joking, but her face was serious with all signs of her earlier laughter gone. “We’ve done nothing but break rules all day,” Lacey said, even as she obediently stuffed her hair up under her cap.

“But now we will not.”

Lacey gave up trying to figure out Aurelia and just followed after her toward the strawberry patch. Aurelia stopped the first brother they met and gave him Isaac’s message as though they had simply happened upon him with the cow and calf in the course of performing some assigned duty in the woods instead of being out chasing angels. Lacey was beginning to doubt the sister’s sanity. And her own.