The Blood-stained Belt (43 page)

That night I
lay in my room cursing myself for a fool. In the longer run, what
did it matter if I had shored up Sharma's position and had done
away with a rotten apple like Bedaxili? What did one apple matter
when the whole barrel was already thoroughly infected with the rot?
There would be no end to the intrigues while Sharma's scheming
wives were alive to encourage their scheming children. More than
ever, I wished to the bottom of my heart that they had left me
alone. I wished that instead of sailing from Terfillere to the
mainland, I had bribed the captain of the ship to set me down
amongst the furthest of the outer islands. From there, rather than
return to Keirine, I would gladly have headed for the realms of
weed-filled seas, icy winds, and eerie howls. Alone if necessary, I
would have sailed as far as I could, following the clouds until I
was becalmed forever or was lost in the endlessness of the Endless
Ocean. Anything, anything at all, would have been better than
returning to Keirine to open old wounds and to become enmeshed
again in these intractable troubles and intrigues.

Before morning,
I went down with a fever as severe as the one that afflicted me
after the second battle of Gandonda. In my delirium, I repeatedly
had the same dream of Dana as I had then. A blurred shape behind
Dana restrained her as she called out and struggled to come to me.
I cried out to her, 'You're safe now, Dana, you're safe. Come to
me.' Then suddenly she was free. She ran towards me, one arm
outstretched and one arm stretched across her throat but the more
she ran, and the more I ran towards her, the more we remained
apart. However, now the dream was overlaid by a vision of Bedaxili,
who rose up between us flinging his head backwards to expose the
gash in his throat and taunting me as he gestured to Dana, who
remained as distant as ever. Then Dana flung her arm aside and
threw back her head to expose her own wound and I felt myself
sinking into a sea of clutching darkness even while I reached out
to her.

When I regained
a semblance of consciousness, I half-turned my head, expecting for
a moment to see Zaliek sitting next to me. Instead I saw an old
woman, one of the palace nurses, and I began to remember where I
was. As my head became clearer, I cursed myself for a fool. After
the nurse wiped my forehead, helped me to change my undershirt, and
gave me some water, she muttered something and left the room. I
heard the click of the latch as she locked the door behind her.
Soon she returned with a junior commander of the palace guard.
Stiffly, he informed me that I was confined to the room until
further notice.

That was two
days ago. They bring me food and water at regular intervals but
will say nothing. My room, which is on the top floor of the palace,
overlooks the great courtyard in the centre of the complex. From my
window, I watch them coming and going – orderlies, soldiers,
servants, merchants, and others. I have seen Shani twice, making
her regal way across the paving stones. She looks more beautiful
than ever. Being a royal consort suits her. She dresses
resplendently in robes that enhance her slender form and set off
her dark sultriness. On both occasions her two younger sons,
Sharma's children, accompanied her. I wonder where her older son
is, the boy that she had by Zaliek. Is he studying at the Academy
of Philosophy in Orifinre as Zaliek wanted him to do? I doubt it,
and I fear for him -- but I have no way of knowing where he is and
what he is doing.

As I said at
the beginning of this story, I did see Sharma recently when he
limped and struggled across the courtyard, helped by two
attendants. Halfway across, he paused to gather his breath, panting
and wiping the sweat from his brow even although the day was cool.
When he stumbled, both attendants had to exert their full strength
to stop him from crashing to the ground. He never looked in my
direction.

I know that I
won't leave here alive. Sooner or later, Sharma will send them to
attend to me. Damn him! Why didn't he leave me alone amongst the
islands to serve out my time in peace and quiet? What did he say to
me, the last time I spoke with him – that I'm the nearest he has
come to an honest man? If that's what he really thought, then he
should have known that honesty is incompatible with serving the
destiny of the kingdom. Cleansing winds, pure air, and pleasant
vistas might surround the heights of a mountain range -- but that
is not the case with the heights of Keirine. As we struggled
upwards, we accumulated dirt and grime along the way. We
compromised ourselves, easing our consciences with the consolation
that it was all for the good of the kingdom. One day, we said, we
would reach the heights and would find them to be glorious and
unsullied. Also, we told ourselves, when we reached our goal our
old, soiled clothes would wither away and we would find ourselves
dressed gloriously in fresh and gleaming garments. More than that,
we ourselves would be completely made over, ennobled and
re-invigorated as new creatures who would be fit to match the new
circumstances. Pha! We were deluded fools. We didn't recognise –
perhaps chose not to know – that the heights of Keirine are things
of our own making. That's all that they are – reflections of
ourselves – nothing more and nothing less.

Yesterday I
removed my belt, folded it, and sent it to Sharma. As I handed it
to the attendant, I noticed that the old stain was still visible as
a darker outline against the burnt sheen of the worn leather. I
took the belt back from the man, looking closely at the stain,
almost surprised to find it there after so long.

The attendant
asked, ‘What is that, sir?’

I was about to
say ‘Nothing of consequence’ when I thought, Why should he not know
who he is dealing with? Why should he not know that once I, too,
was one of the great ones of Keirine?

I asked him,
‘Do you remember Jainar?’

‘Jainar? No,
sir, I can’t say that I do.’

I looked at
him. God, he was young! Life hadn’t even yet curdled the corners of
his mouth. How could he remember Jainar and the time when I served
the kingdom well by leaving Jainar dead in the gateway of
Orihedrin? I said, ‘Never mind. It doesn’t matter now.’ I gave him
the belt, saying, ‘Deliver this to the king.’

‘Any message
with it, sir?’

‘None. The king
will know what it means.’

This time, I
know that Sharma will keep the belt – or, more likely, he will have
it destroyed. Whatever the case, it won’t be returned to me. I know
that for sure.

Who knows what
awaits me when they have done with me? Perhaps at last I might be
set free to drift with the clouds over the Endless Ocean, looking
down on the islands set in the water like green and brown and ochre
pearls in the neck-piece of a gown. Best of all, after all this
time, I might be able to do it with Dana. Who knows?

THE END

Dear
reader,
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Something about
the author, Brian H. Jones

Brian lives in
a country town near Canberra, Australia, together with his adorable
wife, Marie (author of Dangerous Journey), and their laid-back cat,
Shaka. Having survived being born and raised in South Africa, Brian
then lived and worked in Canada, Namibia, Pakistan, and Australia.
Thanks to flashes of optimism on days when the sun is shining as
well as Marie's ongoing influence, Brian believes that life holds
more than political prevarication, economic and financial failures,
moral mendacity and spiritual spuriousness. Sometimes he even
thinks that writing is one of life's more elevated activities. And
then, sometimes, he doesn't..!

You can find
out more about Brian and books that he has written at
http://bhj.scriptmania.com/index.html

Issues that
could be useful for discussion at a book club meeting:

1. Does 'The
Blood-stained Belt' have a clear theme or themes?

2. Does the
theme (or themes) speak to contemporary life?

3. Does the
novel remind you of any other(s) that you have read?

4. What are the
strengths of the novel? How has the author achieved these
strengths?

5. What are the
weaknesses of the novel? How could they have been avoided or
improved?

6. Is Jina a
convincing and rounded character?

7. Which
aspects of Jina's character and experiences did you find the most
convincing?

8. Is Sharma a
convincing and rounded character?

9. Which
aspects of Sharma's character and experiences did you find the
most/least convincing?

10. Has the
long and complex relationship between Jina and Sharma been
portrayed in a convincing manner? Could the portrayal have been
improved?

11. If you
wrote a review of 'The Blood-stained Belt', on which aspects would
you focus and what would you say? (By the way, the author would
very much appreciate reviews and ratings!)