The Book of the Unnamed Midwife (6 page)

Good luck, man.

She slept in the hold of a boat that had no food but about six kilos of weed. She sniffed its skunky, oily stink and thought about taking some. It might be good to trade, but it’d be a terrible idea to get stoned on her own. When it got dark, she decided she was sick of the smell and got out to walk up to the university. She looked back at the boat, knowing that she wouldn’t return to it. She could set it on fire. She could burn down the whole marina. The night was clear and cool and the thought passed.

She had no flashlight, but there was an almost full moon. Most of downtown looked intact, and the school seemed to have held out for a long time when everything was falling apart. Dorms stood dark on every side, most with banners hanging out the window with slogans opposing the school closure and quarantine. One banner overhead read “3 INSIDE PLEASE HELP.” She wondered if they were still there, or if help had come. Firelights flickered on an upper floor of an old brick pub and she crept away from it, around the block. She doubled back and came up to the main entrance of the school, and then hooked down the street. The building she was looking for was boarded up, but she picked at the edges of the plywood at one window until she found a way in.

In Berkeley

In the university clinic now. Been here a few days. Pallet of bottled water in here, plus cases and cases of granola bars and dried fruit. Also more birth control than I’ve seen anywhere else. Stocked up to bursting. Thousands of doses = all set.

June

Actually pulled it off. Wasn’t sure it would ever work but I did it, today.

* * * * *

They were three, men and a woman. She was young. The midwife saw them coming around one of the old cafes, carrying boxes of cookies. It was broad daylight and she was prepared, right down to the socks in her underwear. She went out through the roof hatch and drew her gun.

Steady. You’ve got all the advantage. Stay steady. Ready? Talk low. Ready. Steady. Ready.

“Hey!”

They started and one of them men dropped his cookies. They both looked around wildly and froze when they saw her.

“Hey!” She started again, low and gruff. “Didn’t mean to scare you. You interested in trade?”

“Fuck, dude,” said the one with the black ponytail. “Don’t pull a gun if you’re not trying to be scary.”

Maybe not next time. Maybe overcorrecting. Fuck it, I feel better with it showing.

“Just getting your attention. Trade?”

“Put that thing away and come down.” They weren’t showing any arms. She put the gun in the back of her waistband and climbed down through the hatch. She wiggled out of a back window where she couldn’t be seen and came around the front, with her trade-goodie bag and her medkit. She came around showing her hands.

“My name’s Rob. I’m holding some good stuff.”

“I’m José, this is Mike and Jenna. What do you have?” José had the black ponytail, shiny with some kind of grease. Mike had a buzz cut and one arm was covered with tattoos.

“Well, I used to be a PA, so I can offer you medical assistance if you need it.”

They looked at each other and back at her. “We’re cool. You got more guns to trade?”

They didn’t have one. “Nope, just mine. Not trading that.”

“Damn. Okay, what else?”

“Liquor. Cigarettes. Candy. Good food. I’m a good raider. What do you want?”

José was quick to step up. “You got cigarettes? I seen no cigarettes anywhere in a long time. I’d kill for one.”

“Regular, menthol, Black and Mild. You name it.”

He licked his lips. “What you want for them?”

She looked down at them from under the bill of her ball cap, trying to look sly. “You know what I want. Is she your girlfriend? Or his?” She switched her gaze from José to Mike, not looking at Jenna.

They both looked at Jenna. She was about seventeen, with long dirty blonde hair grown out dark at the roots. She wore frayed jean shorts on long, tan legs and a loose blousy top. No bra. Her face wasn’t bruised, but she never looked up.

“She’s… uh…”

“Ok, I don’t care. Point is, is she for sale?”

Mike jumped in this time. He was red haired with a scruffy beard, long ropy muscles with a lot of tattoos. She sized up his biceps and thought about her own skinny arms. “Yeah she is. But it’ll cost you.”

She stuffed her hands in her pockets, trying to close up her face while stealing glances at Jenna. The girl was not fazed by the discussion of her as an object. “Two packs of smokes, your choice. One bottle of the liquor I don’t like.”

I don’t give a shit what they choose. Haggle anyway. Act like it matters. Keep looking at the girl.

José countered. “Four packs of smokes, one bottle each, our choice, and something to eat while you do her.”

“Three packs. Two bottles, your choice. Two cans of pork and beans and you eat where I can see you.”

They looked at each other, not talking.

“I need half an hour, man. That’s all.”

They turned back to her, grinning. “Ok, but you do it where we can see you.”

She made a face. “No fucking way. I want some privacy. On the roof. You’ll be able hear us.”

Mike turned to José, who was clearly in charge. “What if he shoots her? Or throws her off the roof?”

“Why would I do that? I haven’t seen a girl in months. And you two would figure out a way to kill me, gun or no gun. I’m not crazy. Just looking for trade. How about it?”

She told herself to stay relaxed, not to tense her shoulders or let her voice get high.

A young man is used to getting his way.

José nodded once. “Three packs. Two bottles. Food. Show it to us.”

She slipped the small bag off her shoulder. She showed them the smokes and threw their choices at their feet. They picked one vodka and one whiskey. She set them down gently and lined up two cans of pork and beans beside them.

“Ok?”

“Mike, you got a can opener?”

“Right here, dude. Let’s build a fire.”

José pushed Jenna toward Rob without a word to the girl. “Don’t fuck her up. I know you got a gun, but you were right when you said we’d kill you.”

Rob reached out and put a hand on the back of Jenna’s neck. She told the girl to go around the back of the building. She did, wordlessly obeying.

The young man turned back to them and winked. “Half an hour.”

She turned and ran after the girl. She pushed her through the loose plywood slot and toward the ladder to the roof. Jenna broke through the hatch ahead of Rob and sat down on the white painted tar. Jenna drew her knees up to her chest and wouldn’t look up. She dropped down beside her, unbuckling her med kit.

“How old are you?”

She didn’t look up or speak.

“Jenna, we don’t have much time. I’m not gonna fuck you. I’m trying to help. Look at me.”

She wouldn’t.

“Jenna. Jenna, seriously. Please try.”

Nothing.

She picked up Jenna’s hand and held it to her hairless jaw. “Look. See? I won’t hurt you. Get it?”

She didn’t.

She stood up and undid her belt. Jenna tensed all over, but wouldn’t look.

“Look, goddamn it. Look!”

Frustrated, Rob threw the socks at the blonde and they bounced off her ankles. The girl looked up and saw the boxer briefs, empty in the front. “Look, see?” Rob went to pull the flap open and show her and her breath caught. It was too real, too much like she really was going to fuck her. Instead, she put her flat hand against her vulva and pulled it up tight. “No dick. Nothing. I’m a woman. See?”

Jenna looked up at Rob’s face and began to cry.

Rob stuffed her socks back in and did up her pants, leaving the belt unbuckled. “Now, tell me. How old are you?”

“Seventeen. I was gonna be eighteen in October.”

“How many times have you been pregnant?”

Her eyes were wide with terror. “Twice. Once when it was just José, and once since Mike.”

“Did you give birth?”

“The last time, yeah. The first one I just bled out and got sick. In the winter. I had the baby like two months ago. He was dead.”

Lucky she’s alive at all. Don’t tell her that.

“Ok. Ok, yeah. I know. Look, I’m gonna give you a shot. It’ll keep you from getting pregnant again for almost two years. Then I’m gonna give you some little plastic rings. After the two years, you put them up inside you. They’re only good for a month, then pull them out. If you get caught with them, say they’re for dryness and you found them somewhere. Ok? Ok, Jenna?”

She was nodding while Rob dug out the Depo shot and sterilized the needle. Jenna cried out when she plunged it in and down on the street they heard laughing. She stuck a dozen of the tiny plastic rings in Jenna’s jeans pocket.

She held her arm and looked up at Rob. “Have you seen any other girls?”

“Not a lot.”

“Fuck.”

“I can’t get you away. I thought about it, but… Look, if you have a chance to get free, cut your hair. Dress like a boy. It doesn’t always work, so-“

“I can leave anytime I want to. There’s worse guys out there than José and Mike. They’re alright.”

“Ok. Sure. Yeah.”

Rob didn’t think their time was up yet. She heated up a can of pork and beans and watched Jenna wolf it down.

“You get to eat?” She cocked an eyebrow at the girl.

“Yeah. Just haven’t had meat in a while. It’s so fucking good.”

She wiped her face and Rob mussed up her hair. Jenna got the idea and yanked her shirt up a bit. They came down disheveled and Rob grinned at them while she pushed the girl back into their midst.

“Good trade.”

“He treat you ok, baby?” Mike murmured this into her hair. José stared at them both.