The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya (15 page)

She may have come up with the idea of a fake client to ease away some of Haruhi’s boredom. If that were the case, Nagato could have dealt with it by herself without getting us involved. Is that what usually happens? She secretly prevents weird stuff from happening without saying a word, in silence, from the shadows.

A breeze came in through the window and ruffled Nagato’s hair and the pages of her book. Her pale fingers gripped the edges of the book and her pale face was perfectly still as her eyes followed the text.

Or perhaps, Nagato brought us in because she wanted to? An alien-made organic android living for years in a totally empty room. Though she appeared to feel no emotion on the outside, perhaps she could.

Perhaps she still felt lonely when she was all by herself.

I was so dumbfounded I forgot about the pain in my shoulder.

At the moment, I was lying on my belly, unable to stand as I couldn’t help being astonished by the sight before my eyes. I was unable to move because of an excess amount of weight on my back that refused to budge. But that wasn’t my concern at the moment. Koizumi, draped over me in the aftermath of breaking down the door, was also stunned by the scene in the room before us. Get off me already—but my mind wasn’t clear enough to channel that thought. That’s how shocked I was.

That which could never possibly happen had happened. It had actually happened. This could no longer be laughed off as a joke. What are we supposed to do?

There was a flash outside the window. A few seconds later, the rumbling of thunder reached my stomach. Just like yesterday, a full-blown storm was covering the entire island.

“It can’t be,” someone murmured.

It was Arakawa, who had been slamming against the door with Koizumi and me and fallen to the floor when it opened.

Koizumi finally got off me so I rolled over and sat up.

And then I took another look at the unbelievable sight before my eyes.

On the carpet near the door lay a man sprawled on the floor the way I was a moment ago. A resident of this manor who hadn’t come down to the dining room this morning and also happened to be our host, a man in his prime. I could immediately identify him because he’d been wearing the same clothes when he’d left us in the living room last night and headed upstairs. He was the only one wearing a formal suit in this hot weather on an island when there was no need for it. He was also the employer of Arakawa, who had been murmuring a moment ago, and the owner of this island and manor…

Mr. Keiichi Tamaru.

Keiichi was lying on the floor with a look of astonishment on his face. He wasn’t moving a single muscle. Of course he wasn’t. Since it appeared that he was already dead.

How did I know? It was obvious. The item protruding from his chest looked familiar. It was the handle of the fruit knife that had been included with the bountiful fruit basket we had been served during dinner.

I’m willing to bet that you’d find a metal blade on the other side of that handle. Or else, it wouldn’t be sticking out of the chest of an unmoving human who had his eyes and mouth wide open. Which meant that the knife was stuck in Keiichi’s chest.

I’m pretty sure that most people would die if they had a knife through their heart.

And that would describe Keiichi’s current state.

“Eek…”

I heard a soft shriek of terror from the other side of the busted door. I turned around. Asahina stood with her hands over her
mouth. She staggered backward but Nagato was there to support her from behind. Nagato turned to me with her permanently blank face and lifted her head as if deep in thought.

Naturally, she could always be found where we were.

“Kyon, could it be that… this person is…”

Haruhi also looked surprised. Her head was sticking into the room next to Asahina as she stared at Keiichi in eternal repose with catlike eyes in the darkness.

“Dead?”

Her voice was unusually soft and even slightly nervous, which was very peculiar. I turned around to try to say something. Koizumi’s usual smile was nowhere to be found as he had a somber expression on his face. The maid, Mori, was also standing out in the hallway.

Only one person who’d been in the manor yesterday was missing from this scene.

Keiichi’s younger brother, Yutaka Tamaru, wasn’t here.

We broke into the room to find one silenced owner of the manor and one person who happened to be suspiciously absent. What might that mean?

“Hey, Kyon…”

Haruhi spoke again. It almost looked as though she were going to cling to me any second. She had an unfamiliar look of anxiety on her face.

Another flash of lightning lit up the room. The storm had peaked yesterday. The sound of thunder accompanied the crashing of waves in an array of goose bump–inducing sounds.

This was a remote island. And there was a storm. And the master of the manor was lying before us in what had been a sealed room, with a knife in his chest.

I couldn’t help wondering.

Hey, Haruhi.

Were you the one who made this happen?

I flashbacked to the reason the SOS Brigade members ended up in this place.

Back one day before summer vacation had started…

………

……

…

It was mid-July in the dead of summer. The weather was so intensely hot that I wanted to give the sun a paid vacation.

As always, I was in the literary club room, which served as our hideout, drinking Asahina’s trademark hot tea. I was attempting to recover from the term exam results we had just received, but when I thought about how I’d have to take supplementary classes, I couldn’t really relax. This is when people start wanting to escape reality.

I spontaneously came up with a number of potential reasons for why reality was just a big lie and began mulling over which one to use.

“Um, is something the matter?”

I snapped myself out of the fake story where a bunch of evil aliens from the dark side of the moon would land and destroy the Diet building on the day before makeup exams.

“You have a strained look on your face… Does the tea taste bad?”

“Of course not.”

It was as sweet as always. Though it was made using cheap tea leaves.

“That’s a relief.”

Asahina breathed a soft sigh as she stood in her summer maid outfit. I responded to her relieved smile with a smile of my own.
Your happiness is my happiness. You could send Xu Fu from China to the mountain gods of Mount Penglai in a quest for a miracle cure and not find a panacea stronger than Asahina’s smile. My heart currently felt clearer than the surface of Lake Mashu, and I swear that I could almost envision messengers from heaven blowing on their horns…

And I was in the middle of delivering an impassioned speech like Saint Francis of Assisi preaching to the birds but I stopped. Not because I got sick of chaining modifiers, but because someone showed up to interfere with his needlessly melodic voice.

“Hello, everyone. How did you do on your finals?”

Koizumi rolled the dice on the Monopoly board on the table as he asked the question he really didn’t need to ask. Thanks to him, my mind was warping to the dark side of the moon again and was in satellite orbit before I could calm myself down. Why don’t you just play Monopoly by yourself over there? Learn a thing or two from Nagato, who’s sitting in the corner of the room and quietly reading a book.

Nagato had what looked to be a hardcover encyclopedia open as she sat in a metal folding chair in her summer sailor uniform with a face like a glass mask that didn’t seem to breathe and her eyes focused on the pages. I wonder if there’s a reason she enjoys acquiring data through analog methods when she’s more of a digital entity.

“…”

In any case, everybody had too much free time.

Today was a short day and school had officially been out before noon, so why were we all gathered in this place? That question was also directed at myself, but I had a legitimate reason. I have to drink one cup of Asahina’s tea every day or I’ll become a living corpse. Which is why I suffer from withdrawal on Saturdays and Sundays.

That was just a joke. That should go without saying, but I’ve learned since entering high school that some people have to be told that something’s a joke. In fact, that’s the only thing I’ve learned over the past few months so it has to be right. You should draw a clear line between jest and earnestness. Or else you’ll run the risk of suffering an unpleasant experience.

The way I am now.

I opened my bag and took out the ham sandwich I’d redeemed from the school vendor to eat with my tea.

It was the time of year when everybody was counting down the days to summer vacation, so there was a reason all of us were lounging around in the club room like cats—or not. I’m fairly confident that there wasn’t. After all, the SOS Brigade started up for no real reason, so there had never been an explanation for our presence here in the first place. I suppose that the lack of a reason would be the closest thing to a reason for any of this. Considering how stupid everything we do is, I’ll have less of a headache if there isn’t any meaning either. Since I won’t have to do any thinking.

“I’ll also take this chance to eat lunch.”

After happily pouring herself some tea, Asahina took out an adorable-looking lunch box and sat down at the table across from me.

“Don’t mind me. I ate in the cafeteria before coming here.”

Koizumi spoke in a cheerful voice in response to a question nobody had asked. Nagato appeared to be more interested in reading than eating.

Asahina poked at her white rice with a smiley face drawn on it using the seasoning furikake.

“Where’s Suzumiya? She’s awfully late.”

Why are you asking me? Maybe she’s off somewhere trying to catch grasshoppers. Since it’s summer.

Koizumi responded in my stead.

“I saw her in the cafeteria earlier. She had an admirable appetite. I can’t even imagine how many ergs you would have if you were to convert the nutritional value of everything she ate.”

And I don’t feel like running the numbers. Hell, she can stay in the cafeteria until dinner if she wants.

“That won’t happen. She seems to have an important announcement to make today.”

I have no idea how you can look so cheerful. Her big announcements have never produced anything of value. Do you have less memory capacity than a five-and-a-quarter-inch floppy disk?

“Besides, how do you know about this?”

Koizumi feigned ignorance.

“Indeed, I wonder why. I could answer your question, but I believe that Suzumiya would prefer to tell you herself. It would be rather troublesome if I ruined her fun by telling you what she has to say. I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

“I didn’t want to hear it myself.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. Your tone basically told me that the idiot is up to another idiotic scheme. I don’t know how many more minutes my peace of mind would have lasted, but it’s obvious that the peace has been broken.”

And as I was about to finish my remarks, the door slammed open.

“Okay, everybody’s here, right?!”

Haruhi was standing there with eyes that shined like a spectroscope.

“We have an important meeting today. I’d planned on punishing anyone who showed up after I did by assigning them to be permanently It in a game of Kick the Can. It appears that you’re all developing a sense of pride in being brigade members. That’s a very good thing!”

I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that I hadn’t heard a thing about a meeting today.

“You sure took your time.”

That was meant to be sarcastic.

“Okay? The trick to eating your fill at the cafeteria is to go right before they close. Then the cafeteria ladies will give you extra leftovers. But the timing is key. If you wait too long, everything could be sold out by the time you get there. Today was a lucky day.”

“I see.”

That was all I had to say in response to the worthless information presented with a boasting face, since I rarely ate in the cafeteria.

Haruhi sat down on the brigade chief’s desk.

“Well, that doesn’t really matter.”

“You’re the one who brought it up.”

But Haruhi just ignored me and turned to Asahina, who was using her chopsticks in a proper manner.

“Mikuru, what do you think of when summer is mentioned?”

“Huh?”

Asahina covered her mouth as she chewed and swallowed the food that she’d made herself, apparently.

“Summer? Um, the Feast of Lanterns… I guess?”

A rather old-fashioned response, which made Haruhi blink a few times. “Feast of Lanterns? What’s that? Sure you didn’t mix that up with Halloween or something? That’s not what I meant. There should be a word that instantly pops into your head the second you hear ‘summer.’ ”

What’s that?

Haruhi said in a matter-of-fact tone, “Summer vacation. Summer vacation. Shouldn’t that be obvious?”

That’s too obvious.

“And then, what does summer vacation make you think of?”

Haruhi rattled off the second question and looked at her watch as she made ticking sounds.

Asahina was drawn into Haruhi’s flow as she frantically tried to come up with an answer.