The Boredom of Haruhi Suzumiya (17 page)

I gave Koizumi a look as though I had just accidentally stepped on a sea slug.

“Are you sane?”

“I believe that my actions can always be considered within the realm of sanity. Everything I’ve said concerning detectives, closed circles, and the ilk has not been a result of my own deliberation. Rather, I was merely tracing Suzumiya’s pattern of thinking. In other words, the simple way to put it would be that she wants to be a detective. That is the purpose of this trip.”

How is she going to become a great detective? I suppose she could fake a whole case by playing both the culprit and the detective.

“Nevertheless, I believed this to be a better alternative to hunting for
tsuchinoko
. All I did was mention to Suzumiya that an
acquaintance had built a villa on an island and was looking for guests. I personally do not expect any murders to occur, obviously.”

Koizumi’s cheerful smile pisses me off every time I see it. And the way he shrugs too.

“I merely offered Suzumiya an opportunity for a little entertainment. Or else, who knows what she might come up with to deal with her boredom? In which case, preparing a stage beforehand allows for us to prepare a number of safety measures.”

“Us, huh?”

Upon seeing my discouraged look, Koizumi attempted to smooth things over.

“The ‘Agency’ has nothing to do with this affair. Though I filed a report to be safe. I may be an esper, but at my core, I am a high school student. What’s wrong with going on a trip? What you would expect in the life of a high school student. A trip with some close friends would be an exciting occasion, correct?”

Only if the reason Haruhi’s excited is because she’s going on a trip. Maybe if we were going to a normal hot spring or a beach on the mainland, but our destination is a remote island, you know? We’re talking about Haruhi here. She might call in a couple hurricanes…

… Well, I’m pretty sure that she isn’t crazy enough to cause a murder. Or else we’d have a pile of dead bodies in North High by now. Anyway, I had a feeling there was something else important as I lost myself in deep thought.

A four-day three-night trip to the beach in the summer. With beaches of white sand and a blazing sun over our heads. In that case, I’m willing to put up with this wretched heat a little longer. Slave away, Mr. Sun.

Okay, I need to start preparing to drool over the sight of Asahina in a swimsuit.

In a generous gesture, the lodging would be provided free of charge. No expenses for food either. All we had to pay was the price of the ferry trip in both directions.

And so, we were now on the boarding platform in the harbor eagerly awaiting the boarding time for the ferry.

Haruhi must have been in a big rush to go on a trip. The first semester had ended yesterday, which meant that today was the first day of summer vacation. Koizumi and his people told us that we could go whenever we wanted, but the fact that Haruhi wanted to leave the second vacation started says a lot about her impatient personality, I’d say. I’d been planning on spending a few days without having to see Haruhi’s face, but the person known as Haruhi Suzumiya wouldn’t allow that to happen. You could call that the purpose of her existence.

“I haven’t been on a ferry in a long time.”

With a visor on her head at a slanted angle, Haruhi stood at the edge of the wharf and gazed at the lead-colored sea. The sticky sea breeze sent her black hair fluttering as we lined up at the front of the boarding dock.

“This is such a big boat. I wonder how it manages to stay afloat.”

Asahina held a bag with both arms as she admired the body of the boat. She looked lovely in a white summer dress with a straw hat over her head. The laces of the hat were even tied under her chin in a manner you would expect from Asahina. Her childlike eyes were shining as she gazed at the old ferry as though it were an ancient artifact that had been dug out of some ruins. Maybe the boats don’t float on water in her time.

“…”

Nagato stood behind her in a daze as she stared at the name of
the corporation written on the side of the boat. Oddly enough, Nagato wasn’t wearing her school uniform. She was wearing a checkered sleeveless affair and holding a yellow-green umbrella, which provided some shade. She had the aura of a sickly girl who’d just been released from the hospital. I wanted to go buy an instant camera and take a picture. I could probably sell it to Taniguchi or something for a good price.

“It appears we’ve been blessed with clear weather. You could say that the conditions are perfect for sailing. Though we’ll be in the second-class cabin,” said Koizumi.

“That’s fair enough.”

We were in a large room without anything that could be considered a partition. The voyage would take a number of hours, but we’d have to live another ten years or so before we could deserve private cabins. After all, we’re just a bunch of high schoolers going on a trip.

The real problem here would be that this couldn’t be considered a club trip. You can’t call a trip for the sake of going on a trip a meaningful activity. Besides, aren’t normal club trips supposed to have an advisor supervising? The SOS Brigade doesn’t even have one. We’re a club that hasn’t been approved by the school so I’d be surprised if we did have one. At North High, you can’t even be considered a student association if you don’t have an advisor, and I have a hunch that even if we managed to find a teacher willing to be the SOS Brigade’s advisor, Haruhi would deem it unnecessary. If she actually thought that we needed one, she would have kidnapped someone by now. The way she did us.

I yawned as Asahina walked over to me. Her wide eyes were even wider than usual.

“How does such a big boat stay afloat?”

How? What reason could there be besides buoyancy? Do they not have science classes in Asahina’s time?

“Ah, I see. Buoyancy. Th-That’s right. I get it. This would be what they mean by being unable to see the forest for the trees.”

I have no idea why she was so excited, but Asahina was nodding to herself with a look on her face like she was about to run out of the bath screaming eureka.

I decided to try asking a question. It couldn’t hurt to ask a question.

“Say, Asahina. Do boats in the future use some kind of ground-breaking method to float?”

“Hmm. Do you think I’m allowed to tell you?” she responded with a question.

I shook my head. I seriously doubt it. I switched to a different line of questioning.

“Are there oceans in the future?”

Asahina tugged slightly at the brim of her hat.

“Yes, there are. There are oceans.”

“That’s good to hear.”

I don’t know if she’s from the near future or the distant future, but I’m glad that Earth hasn’t turned into a complete desert. Though I have to hope that the composition of seawater has improved by then.

And right when I was getting enthusiastic about prying some beneficial information out of the time traveler…

“Kyon! Mikuru! What are you doing? It’s time!” Haruhi yelled to let us know that it was time to board the ship.

By the way, I had showed up after the meeting time today. When I left the house this morning, I’d picked up my duffel bag to find it oddly heavy. Suspicious, I opened it up to find that my clothes and toiletries had been replaced by my little sister. Last night,
I’d accidentally let it slip that I’d be going on a trip with Haruhi and the others, which led to my sister screaming that she wanted to go too. It’d taken two whole hours to get her calmed down, but I guess she’d come up with a plan to smuggle herself along. I dumped my sister out of the bag and asked her where she’d hidden my stuff. Once she took the fifth, I wasted a good deal of time trying to coax and force the information out of her. I’m not going to buy you any souvenirs. Since that money’s being used to buy the SOS Brigade box lunches on the ferry.

The members of the SOS Brigade were gathered in a corner of the second-class drawing room as we chatted while eating the box lunches I’d been forced to buy. Though Haruhi and Koizumi did most of the talking.

“How much longer until we get there?”

“The trip by ferry takes approximately six hours. I have arranged for an acquaintance to be waiting at our port of arrival. From there, we’ll be taking a private cruiser for approximately thirty minutes. The remote island and towering manor await us at the voyage’s end. I’ve never been there before so I can’t tell you how the location is.”

“I’m sure it’s a strange-looking building. Do you know the name of the person who designed it?” Haruhi asked as she practically jumped up and down with excitement.

“I didn’t inquire about that. I believe a somewhat famous architect was commissioned for the job.”

“I can’t wait to see it.”

“I hope it meets your expectations, but I didn’t see the place beforehand so I wouldn’t know. However, it was built by a person who wanted to erect a private villa on a deserted island, so I would assume that it’s special in some way. At least, I hope so.”

Koizumi might hope so, but I sure don’t. Let us picture a design that would satisfy Haruhi’s expectations. It would probably look
like something designed by an inebriated Gaudi who had just pulled three straight all-nighters. I sure don’t want to stay in such a freaky-looking mansion. I’d prefer to stay in an ordinary inn. A traditional Japanese-styled one that serves roasted seaweed and raw eggs for breakfast. And if it was a special house, could Haruhi kill someone and make a case happen?

“Island! Manor! You couldn’t find a better location for the SOS Brigade’s summer camp. This is the perfect way to start off our summer vacation.”

As Haruhi celebrated, the rest of the brigade members stood around her in silence.

As there was nothing to do besides be rocked by the waves, we went with Koizumi’s idea of playing Old Maid. Koizumi, the loser, was forced to buy juice for the rest of us, which we drank in silence.

I couldn’t help feeling uneasy about our destination being a remote island with a manor and all the other obscure details. It appeared that Asahina shared the sentiment.

Haruhi finished her juice in two gulps.

“Mikuru, you look pale. Are you seasick?”

“No… Um… Ah, that may be it,” Asahina responded before Haruhi spoke again.

“That’s no good. You should go outside. You’ll feel much better once you’re out on the deck and breathing in the sea air. Come on, let’s go.”

And with that, she took Asahina’s hand and grinned.

“There’s no need to worry. I won’t push you into the ocean. Hmm… that doesn’t sound bad. The sudden disappearance of a female passenger on a boat.”

“Eek.”

Asahina froze and Haruhi slapped her shoulder.

“I’m joking. Just kidding. That wouldn’t be any fun at all. This boat has to run into an iceberg or be attacked by a monster squid before I could classify it as a serious incident.”

I’ll check where the lifeboats are located later. I doubt any icebergs are floating around the coastal waters of Japan in the middle of summer, but I could see some unknown water-dwelling creature popping out of nowhere. I shot a look in an attempt to tell them to take out the monster if it showed up, but Koizumi merely smiled at me and Nagato continued staring at the wall.

Haruhi was still talking by herself.

“Incidents are supposed to happen on remote islands! Koizumi, I won’t be disappointed, right?!”

“There are no significant events scheduled,” Koizumi responded mildly. “I also wish for this to be a pleasant trip.”

Koizumi smiled the ambiguous smile typical of people saying insincere things. Though I suppose that was the usual expression on his face, I stared at the stupid esper in an attempt to break through that smiling mask, but I soon gave up. His smile, just like Nagato’s poker face, reveals no information. Seriously, can’t you people show some human emotion? Just not as much as Haruhi, please.

Haruhi hummed a random tune as she led Asahina outside the cabin. Asahina kept looking back at me like she was hoping I’d come along, but that could have just been a wrong assumption on my part, and I didn’t want to ruin Haruhi’s mood by tagging along so I didn’t.

I’m pretty sure that Haruhi would still save Asahina from falling into the ocean. I looked up at the ceiling and prayed that was true before lying down sideways with my bag as a pillow. I’d woken up early this morning, so I figured I’d get some sleep for now.

I had a feeling that my dream had involved something of a fantasy nature, but before I could remember any details I was slapped awake and receiving a directive transmission from Haruhi.

“What are you sleeping for, stupid? Get up already. Do you even intend to be serious about this trip? How much use will you be if you’re like this on the boat ride there?”

It appeared that we had arrived at the stopover island while I was asleep, and I felt as though I’d lost something irreplaceable.

“The first step is key. You don’t have the mentality to enjoy things. Look at how those eyes are shining with excitement about this trip.”

Haruhi was pointing at the three servants disembarking from the ship with their belongings.

One of them was a smiling boy.

“Now, now, Suzumiya. I’m sure that he’s saving his energy for the rest of the trip. He probably intends to stay awake the whole night to come up with ways to entertain us.”

As I listened to Koizumi’s unneeded follow-up, I searched Nagato’s automaton-like face for these so-called shining eyes and I also glanced at Asahina’s eyes, which resembled those of a small animal.

“We’re already there?” I muttered.

A multihour trip. With the members of the SOS Brigade. No, I could care less about the other people. I had given into my desire to sleep and killed an opportunity to spend quality time with Asahina inside the cabin.

Whoa. I’d already jinxed myself. Should I really be spending my summer vacation like this? The only memory I’d have of this
day so far would be playing Old Maid. What happened to the two of us chatting while standing in the cool sea breeze?

I felt like grabbing the me who had fallen asleep a few hours ago and kicking him a few times.