The Boss Lady (16 page)

There was silence and I knew why. I said I loved her.
Damn how did that happen? She heard it and I heard it even though I had no idea I was going to say it. I didn’t even know what love means. The only person I ever truly loved was Hailey and she’s gone. I really care about Nicki and Kelly, but love. I’m not sure about that. So why did I say it?

Nicki
turned away from me and started walking away.

“Hey!” I called out to her. “Where are you going?”

“To the bathroom to pee.” She rolled her dark eyes at me.

“Are you going to pee or are you going to freak out?”

“I’m going to pee. If you would like to stand at the door and watch me then that’s on you.”

“Are you kicking me out?”

“No. I’m going to pee. Then when I return I’m going to get in bed and watch TV.”

“Can I still have sex with you?”

“No, but you can make love to me.” She smirked, shrugged and glared into my eyes. She was waiting for me to defy her and I had to good sense to back down. She was in boss mode. I needed to submit or get kicked out of her bed. I wanted to bury my cock inside her foxhole tonight. “Luke, can you make love to me?”

“I can do that.”
I eagerly agreed.

Nicki
disappeared into her master bathroom. I exhaled and ran my words back over in my mind. Fuck! I do love her. I’m going to lose her to someone else, some guy with more money and a decent upbringing. She would never seriously be with me. I don’t have anything to offer. She wants all the things I don’t. How can I convince her to not want a baby or a lifetime commitment involving a piece of paper and a ceremony? It seemed that the issue was resolved but I wasn’t quite sure. Sex seems to cloud my judgment. Nicki seems to cloud my judgment.

CHAPTER TEN

It had been two weeks before the
“L” word slipped from my mouth. I knew there was something wrong. There was something off balance. I could tell by the vacant look in her eyes. Maybe I had done something offensive or wrong. Whatever the problem, I was willing to fix it. I had love for this woman. No that’s gravely understated. I was in love with this woman. I am in love with Nicki.

“Luke, I can’t do this anymore.”
Her first words when she entered the house from work.

“Do what?”
I turned my eyes from the TV to look at her. I knew by the look in her eyes that she was breaking up with me. She wouldn’t really look at me.

“Us, I need to take a break.”

“A break?” I stood up and walked over to her. She had already placed her briefcase on the couch.

“Yes. I met someone. He is an accountant. We had a few lunch dates and I’m interested in seeing where it goes with him.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I told you before. I want to see other people. What we had is over. I no longer want to see you.”

“What the fuck? When the fuck?”

“Don’t make this hard. I met someone.”

“Who?”

“Does it matter? I don’t want you.”

Shot to the heart. “Is this a test?”

“No.”
Her monotone was so fucking frosty.

“Well help me make sense of this no
nsense. I don’t have a fucking Master’s degree. Explain this bullshit so a dumbass can make sense of it.”

“I am sorry but we are over. It’s nothing you did. It’s who you are. I met someone better than you.”

Shit! Did she just say that to me, to my fucking face? “Just like that, you’re done.”

“Yes. I am done. We had fun and now it’s over.”

“LOOK AT ME!” I yelled so loud she jumped back a few feet.

“Luke, don’t make this hard.
Please just leave and don’t come back.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Please just peacefully leave. I care about this other guy now. I only want to see him. I can’t carry on sleeping with you and see him. So you can’t call me or show up over here anymore. I’m trying to build something with him.”

I was too shocked to be sad. I couldn’t even gather enough emotion for a tear. I had something building inside me and it was rage. She was indeed the devil. I am on that list of stupid men that she discarded
without even a bit of empathy. Clifford’s words played in my ears ‘Nicki doesn’t keep boyfriends for long.’

I turned back and grabbed my cell and my keys off the coffee table. I couldn’t really say anything. I paced the floor and stalked over to stare her in the face. She wouldn’t even look at me.

“Nicki.” Her name came out shaky.

“Please leave.” She mumbled and there was no feeling behind her words. I felt like I was being fired. I was
n’t one of her Crome and Foster employees. I was intimate with this woman and she was withdrawn and detached from me.

I wanted to scream I HATE YOU! But that would sound childish. Fuck it. I will
throw an adult tantrum. I stomped over to the two thousand dollar flat screen TV. I picked it up ripping the cord from the outlet. I raised it above my head and watched as her eyes bulged. Nicki placed both hands over her mouth.

I spiked the TV like it was a football. It went crashing to the floor and it shattered into a million little shattered pieces.

I looked over at Nicki and she had backed far away from the couch. She was close to the wall leading to the foyer.

She looked afraid of me. She probably thought I would hit her. I didn’t even care she thought the worse of me.

I stormed over to where she stood. She was shaking. You ripped my heart out and you’re upset. I leaned close to her, so close I could smell the scent of her sweat.

“Fuck—you!
” I went through the den to the foyer. Kelly was standing at the top of the stairs. She was holding on to the bannister and peering right into my eyes. Did she hear everything? I should have controlled my temper.

I walked
right out the front door. As soon as I planted my ass in my pickup I felt bad about the TV, bad about Kelly hearing my tirade. I felt like an asshole and I was the one that got dumped. What the fuck?

***

I couldn’t believe I had been dumped. I was like all the other lovesick fools in history that tried to call and drop by. She refused every gesture I made. I wanted to talk to her and get a better explanation for this but I would never beg.

I was only one week out and I felt like shit. There was another hole in my heart. Just as the pain from one started to heal there was another one that took up residence beside it. I missed Nicki more than any other woman I
ever had. I actually loved her.

I never took her seriously when she made me feel inferior. I thought she was just being a bitch b
ut she really thought I was white trash. She really thought she could do better and now I feel like the biggest fucktard that ever lived. If I would have just fucked her and moved on this wouldn’t hurt so bad but she was nice to me. She acted like she cared. I know I broke down her walls. She let me in and I know she felt something for me. I’m not crazy. She felt something for me. You don’t just spend all that time with someone and not develop any feelings.

I had to pull myself together because Tony was coming over to watch the
basketball game with me. He sensed something was up. I told him I was dumped and I guess he feels some need to babysit me. Maybe I need a babysitter, someone to stop me for going over to Bloombury Court and raising hell.

It was seven
o’clock on the dot when he showed up at my door. I let him in and he found a place on my couch. We were silent most of the time until he decided to do some probing.

“You think you can get her back?
” Tony asked because I’m sure he knew I was miserable.

“No.”

“Why not, it’s only been a week?”

“A feeling I have.”

“I mean come on, you were practically living there.”

“She was firm with her
fuck off loser. Plus there’s another guy.”

“Did you at least try to talk to her?”

“She will not answer any of my calls.”

“I’m sorry I don’t know what to tell you. She
dumps you and gives you some Mickey Mouse bullshit excuse. I don’t know what’s up with her. Are you going to give up or try again?”

“I’m going to go over to her place and see if she’ll talk to me.”

“Okay. Well if you get arrested, call me.”

“Why would I get arrested?”

“Her mouth, don’t choke her or kick her door down.”

“I’m not going to do that.”

Tony left around eleven. I wasn’t going to go over to Nicki’s place. Been there, done that. I give up.

I was back to not sleeping well. There was no need for me to go to bed. I would not fall asleep. I took a shower and planted myself back on my couch.

My cell phone rang and I hoped it was Nicki. I looked at the screen and it wasn’t her. It was a number I didn’t recognize. I answered the phone.

“Hello.”

“Luke.” I recognized the voice.

“Rebecca.”

“Can I come talk to you? My husband just kicked me out and Jolene isn’t answering her phone. I don’t have anywhere else to go.” She unloaded too much information on me.

“Yeah.”

“Can you pay for the taxi?”

“Yeah sure.” Right the DUI, she can’t drive.

“Okay thanks Luke. I’m coming now.”

“Yeah okay.” I hung up and just leaned back on the couch.

I was going to have to be subjected to a long drawn out story about whatever drama was now taking over Rebecca’s life. I was going to have to hear about her low-life husband. She would maybe show up with a black eye. I don’t know. Rebecca is a mess. She has always been a mess and now she’s out on bail awaiting a trial. I may need this to get my mind off my heartache.

I could f
ocus on her problems and throw my own on the back burner. The problem was Rebecca reminded me of Hailey. I had learned to cope with the loss of my daughter. Will Rebecca send me back to a world of despair? She is the sole reason for the despair. The accident was a one car accident. I have no other driver to blame.

I could just have sex with Rebecca
. She has always flirted with me. She was always trying to seduce me. Her having a husband never changed that.

It was forty minutes before Rebecca arrived. The taxi pulled into my driveway and I paid the cabbie fifty dollars. Rebecca looked better than the last time I saw her. She was
n’t as frail and thin like when I saw her in jail. She had even put on a few pounds.

She had a big bag with her. I’m sure it was clothes.
Rebecca placed her bag on the floor and took a seat on the couch next to me.

“Thanks, Luke. I didn’t have anywhere else I could go.”

I’m sure that was true. Rebecca was good for using her looks to get what she wanted. She was also good for burning her bridges. She couldn’t keep friends because she was selfish and she was slutty. I learned that Rebecca set her sights on me twelve years ago. She planned to get me in her bed. She knew I had been with her cousin but neglected to tell me. When I found out it was too late. I was already deep in love with Rebecca. It was odd to me how you could love someone so deeply and then years later feel absolutely nothing for them.

Is that how Nicki felt about me? Did she just wake up on
e morning and say I don’t like Luke anymore.

“Luke it will be just a couple of days until I figure something out. That bastard is always keeping me from my kids.”

I shrugged. “Yeah okay.”

“Are you okay?”

Shit, she’s very perceptive. I need to snap out of my slump. I don’t want her to ask me any prying questions. I want her to only focus on herself like she always does.

“I’m good, just tired.”

“Tired?”

“Yeah
, how are your kids doing?”

“They’re good. Tom is always trying to turn them against me. I should have never married him but I was pregnant and I wasn’t going to have another kid out of wedlock. I was
n’t going to have to hear my mother in my ear constantly calling me names.”

Rebecca talked and talked and I tuned her out. I chimed in from time to time with a word or two. She fell asleep on my couch. I didn’t want her to sleep in Hailey’s room. I didn’t want anything moved around.

I turned in around two. I made sure I locked my bedroom door. I didn’t want Rebecca to wake up and try to come in my room.

***

Rebecca’s little sleepover turned into three weeks. Her husband freaked when he found out she was staying with me. He had nothing to worry about. I wasn’t attracted to her. She was no longer my type.

Rebecca
had rented a bullshit apartment but she couldn’t move in until the end of the week. Rebecca had gotten a job at
Denny’s
from some guy she used to blow in community college. I knew about it because he told everyone but I didn’t find out until after she was pregnant with Hailey. Sometimes you think you know someone and you really are clueless.