The Boss Lady (18 page)

“You’re loyalty is misplaced.”

“Loyalty is a word that should never come out of your lying mouth. I was loyal to you and you were plotting and planning to steal my sperm and get knocked up.”

“Okay fine. I got pregnant on pu
rpose. Do you want me to sign something saying I won’t take you for child support?”

“Every fucking thing is not a business transaction.”

“
What do you want Luke? I did it. I’m not sorry. I love this baby.” Nicki started rubbing her stomach. My eyes went down to her huge baby bump.

“How many months?”

“Does it matter?”

“Answer the
fucking question!” I roared and Nicki jumped back. My temper shot out of me. I reined it back in. “Nicki, I’m sorry. Please tell me when this kid is coming into the world.”

“I’
m eight months. I’m due in six weeks.”

“Six
weeks.” What the fuck?

“I don’t want anything from you.”

“You already took enough.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, you did that already! I don’t know how I feel about this.”

“You don’t have to feel anything. You can just walk out of here and act like this never happened. Act like you never found out.
Act like you don’t know this baby is yours. Act like you don’t know a baby is coming. Act like you never met me.”

“Is that what you really want?”

“Yes, that’s what I want.”

“You are selfish.”

“Maybe, but if I would have asked you for a baby, would you have given me one?”

“I don’t know. You never asked.
” I turned away to pace the floor. I was talking aloud but to myself. “So you’re having this baby? I have no say. The baby is practically here already.”

“I’m having my baby.”
Nicki said firmly.

I slowly turned to look at Miss Nevels the devil.
“Fuck! I can’t do this. I told you.”

“Yes you told me
, so go.”

“I
swear I’m leaving. Nicki, I’m leaving and I’m not coming back.”

“That’s fine. Have a nice life.”

I stormed from her foyer and it’s all too familiar presence. This baby was out of left field. She had lied to me. It was a completely contrived tale to take from me what she wanted and then just discard me. I thought she dumped me for another guy. She dumped me for my own baby. She wanted a child more than she wanted me. Did she just want a kid or did she want my kid?

I sat in her driveway in the driver’s seat of my pickup. I couldn’t seem to get my thoughts together long enough t
o turn the ignition.

My mind was racing all over t
he place. I was burning and crashing. I was mad and angry with her. She wanted to control everything in her life. That included me. There was a knock on my driver’s side window that scared the shit out of me. It was Kelly. I opened the door.

“Where’s your coat? It’s cold out here.”

Kelly shrugged.

“Go around and get inside the truck.” I closed my door and watched as Kelly ran around the front end of my truck. She opened the passenger door and climbed in. She slammed the door shut.

She had something in her hand. “What’s that?” I asked.

“It’s a picture of the baby.” Kelly shoved it in my face. I didn’t have a choice. I had to look at the black and white sonogram. I had seen one before. I saw Hailey’s sonogram.
It was dark inside the truck. I turned the interior light on. I needed to really see it.

“Kelly, you shouldn’t be showing this to me.”

“Why? You’re the dad. I know where babies come from. I know you’re the dad. Are you the dad?”
“Yes.” I couldn’t lie to her. I had to tell the truth. I looked back down at the sonogram picture.

“Lukas, it’s a boy.”

“How do you know that?”

“The doctor said and my mom painted the baby’s room blue.”

This baby has a room.
“It’s a boy.” Maybe I could have a son. No! No!

“If you come over tomorrow after school I can show you his room.”

My chest exploded. My head hit the steering wheel. I was bombarded with thoughts of Hailey, images of her as a baby, images of her riding her bike, images of her asleep on my chest. The pictures were too heavy for my brain. Tears leaked from my eyes and trailed down my face falling on my knees.

I felt Kelly’ little hand on my back. “I’m sorry Lukas. Please don’t cry.” I sniffled
before I manned up and that’s when I heard Kelly. Shit, she was crying.

“No, no, Kelly don’t cry.” Her
green eyes were red. He face was bright and tear stained. What the fuck did I do?

“I don’t understand. You can be a dad all over again. You don’t want my mom anymore?
You don’t want to see me anymore?”

“No,
Kelly listen. Your mom wants the baby. She doesn’t want me.”

“Huh, she wants you. She misses you.
”

“Kelly it’s late. You have to go back inside. You can’t sneak out of the house.”

“My mom doesn’t know I’m out here. She’s in her room crying.”

She was doing a good job of making me feel like shit. “Kelly go back inside.” I tried to be firm but Kelly just looked at me and sneered.

“Okay.” Kelly put her knees in the passenger seat. She unexpectedly reached over and hugged me around my neck. I hesitatingly hugged her back.

Kelly grabbed the sonogram picture from the dashboard and left me sitting alone in my truck. As soon as she entered the house I backed out the driveway.

CHAPTER TWELVE

I disappeared for a week. That was how long it took for it to sink in. Kelly didn’t call me for a week. I wouldn’t have answered but I learned she got into trouble for telling me the secret. The punishment was Nicki took her cell phone for a week.

As soon as the cell was returned Kelly called me. We talked about everything but the baby. I wasn’t ready for that. I wasn’t sure I would ever be ready. I had resumed my visits to the house. I was there briefly before Nicki came home from work. I felt like Kelly needed me. There was this baby coming into her life.

I had worked up the nerve to stay until Nicki got home. I had worked up the nerve to go into that scary room I had been avoiding. I walked inside the baby’s room and went straight to the rocking chair.

I
took a seat. I was sitting alone in the blue rocking chair by the window. This room was quiet and peaceful. The walls were painted a pale shade of blue. This room was baby heaven for the infant that would reside here. It was getting dark out and I knew Nicki would be home soon.

I wasn’t quite sure if I was done fighting.
I felt so betrayed by this woman. I sat in the dimness that hadn’t turned to darkness quite yet.

I heard her heels as they approached. I was sitting in the corner when she entered the baby’s room. She didn’t notice me. Not a surprise. She didn’t care either way. She went straight for the baby’s crib. She placed a small blue teddy bear insid
e the crib and just stood there. From the corner of her face I could see a smile, she was happy.

She must have felt my presence because she abruptly turned to face me. She grabbed at her chest. I had startled her. That was not my intention but I’m glad I scared the shit out of her.

“What, what are you doing here?”

“I’m visiting with Kelly.”

“She let you in?”

“I don’t have a key.”

“I’m going to have to have a talk with her.” Nicki rubbed her stomach and reminded me of the reason I was sitting in this room, the baby’s room.

“Do whatever you want. Oh I guess you have already been doing whatever the hell you want.”

“Luke, what do you want from me?” Nicki walked over to my chair and stood over me. Her stomach was really poking out. It appeared even bigger than the last time I saw her.

“I don’t know.” I shrugged and pushed back in the rocking chair.

“If I haven’t told you I was sorry, I am sorry. All that bullshit I said was lies. I never thought you were less than me. I never thought you were beneath me. I swear I never meant any of the things I said. I was trying to hurt you so you would hate me and stay away. I’m so sorry.”

I chose to ignore her extended apology.
“Is the baby healthy?”

Nicki grinned quickly before she realized her mistake
. “Yes the doctor says he’s big. All the test came back good. He is really quite perfect.” Her face was lit when she talked about the baby, my son. 

“You love my baby that
’s growing inside you?”

“Yes I love your baby.”
She cupped her stomach and my eyes followed her movements.

“
I need to know how you feel about me?”

“I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”

“How do you feel about me?”

“Luke, I don’t know how to answer that question.”

“Tell me the truth. Be honest with me.”

“I feel, I feel, I was in love with you.
”

“Was?”
She needed to be honest with me.

“I am in love with you.
I wanted to have a baby by a man I love. I wanted to have that. I didn’t have that before. You told me in your weird way that you loved me. I was relieved because I loved you too. I wanted a baby that was made from love. You are not going to make me out to be a bad person because of it.”

I was floored by this admission. “I don’t think you’re a bad person. I think you’re a selfish person to make decisions that affect me without my consent.”

“I’m selfish fine. I want this baby. I love this baby. I’m having your son. You’re going to have to grow up and deal with it.”

“What if I don’t want
to?”

“Stop lying to yourself. Why do you keep coming back if you don’t want to be
a part of this?”

“I don’t know.”

“You know.” She was leering down at me.

I stood and she backed up a bit.
“I think I can’t live without you. I think I am still in love with you.”

“You think so?” Nicki started crying and I’m not at all sure why.

“Why are you crying?”

“I’m fucking pregnant and emotional.
Who was that woman at your house?”

“What woman?”

“I came to your house. I was going to tell you I was pregnant. Some blonde woman answered your door in your t-shirt.”

“Rebecca that is Hailey’s mother.”

“Are you seeing her?”

“No not at all. She is no one.”

“You think you love me?
I’m having your baby. You are so pissed at me that it hurts my heart.”

“
I’m mad and I’m not sure why? I know that I love you and I would give you as many babies as you want but I can’t let go of my anger. I can’t let go of the past. I don’t deserve to love you. I don’t deserve to get another kid. I don’t deserve to have a chance to move on with my life like Hailey never was here.”

“Hailey will always be here in your heart. You are a good loving person. That’s why I wanted to have your child. I wanted your love in the
baby. I wanted to see you in my baby.”

I don’t know what is going on in my brain. I put both my hands on her shoulders and pulled her close to me. I missed her kisses. I wanted one. No I wanted them all. I pushed my tongue into her mouth. She kissed me back like she missed me. I was inside her mouth dancing around in a territory that I was familiar with.

“Luke you have to forgive me. I’m sorry that I hurt you. I’m sorry that I lied but I’m not sorry that I’m pregnant with your son.”

“I can’t be without you. Whatever you want from me I will give to you.”

“Will you come back to me?”

“Yes.” I pressed my lips back to hers and fell into her mouth. I wanted her so badly. She seemed too far along for sex but I thought about it. I embraced her tight and held her close to me. I gently pushed her body back with the weight of my embrace. I had backed her into the hall without losing contact with her soft tender lips. I backed her
all the way down the hall and into her bedroom. I made sure to lock the door behind me.

I started stripping Nicki down of all her clothes. Her stomach wasn’t the only thing that had grown. Her breasts were huge, tight and full.

“I look fat.”

“No, you look beautiful.”
The huge belly didn’t make her look any less beautiful.

I raised my hand and realized it was shaking. I hadn’t touched her stomach but I was compelled to do so. I wanted to feel her stomach but I was scared.

Nicki looked down at my hand. She grabbed my wrist and guided it to her pregn
ant bump. As soon my palm went flat to her skin I felt movement. Not a kick but it was like a ripple. Like something was stretching inside her.