The Bounty Hunter's Bride (19 page)

“I
am
being truthful.”

Josh’s expression turned mild. “I don’t think you are.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you really want to leave?”

“It’s necessary.”

“Says who?”

Right and wrong seemed plain to Josh. Beau saw gray mist. It didn’t matter, though. He lifted the reins from the post.

“My mind’s made up.”

“So change it. Raise your nieces and make Dani your wife. Give her all the things she needs.”

Beau thought of the butterscotch he planned to buy. She deserved far more. A husband. A partner. A man who’d sit next to her in church. The smell of whitewash filled his nose to the point of sickness. The church looked brand-new. He wanted that freshness for himself, but paint only covered the marks of time. It didn’t remove them. Beau turned to his horse.

Josh gripped his arm. “Stay. Marry Dani, but do it right.”

“I can’t.”

“You won’t.”

How could Josh say such a thing? He’d buried Lucy. Beau swung onto his horse. “Thanks for nothing.”

Josh kept talking. “Clay stole Lucy from you. Don’t give him Dani, too.”

Beau tasted bile. “I want
justice.
”

“Then let God have His way,” Josh insisted. “He’s far smarter than you.”

“He had His chance. It’s up to me.”

“Is that so?”

Beau frowned. “What are you getting at?”

“You’ve been chasing Clay Johnson for five years and he’s still on the loose. Clay’s not that smart. Either you’re a lousy lawman or God’s keeping him a step ahead of you.”

Beau often had the same thought. In five years, he’d caught twenty-two men. Why not Clay? Sometimes he imagined God baiting a hook and jerking it away. The thought made him furious.

He glared at Josh. “If you won’t do the ceremony, I’ll get a judge.”

“Suit yourself.” The minister went up the stairs and picked up the brush. “I’ll be around if you need me.”

Beau clicked to his horse. He still had candy to buy, but he felt pulled to the Silver River. Maybe Wallace had news…Maybe Johnson was close enough to kill. Tasting bile, Beau rode to the wrong side of town. As he neared the saloon, he looked for Harriet Lange’s detective. He had no intention of avoiding the man. He wanted to fight and the man who’d been spying on him was a worthy target.

Seeing no one, Beau dismounted and went into the Silver River. He smelled chili and thought of the graybeard with the bad teeth. Beau didn’t want to become that man, but he could see the signs. Without Dani and the girls, he had nothing.

Wallace came out of the back room. “It’s been a while. Where’ve you been?”

“Around.”

“Coffee?”

Beau nodded, then watched as Wallace poured. The barkeep set the mug in front of Beau, then took something from a drawer. He rested his closed fist on the counter, then opened his fingers to reveal a bullet. “Someone left this for you.”

Beau saw the caliber. Lucy’s pink dress flashed before his eyes. Only Clay Johnson would leave a bullet for the rifle that had killed Beau’s wife. He pinched the casing until his thumb ached. “Who left it?”

“Some fellow with dark hair. I’ve never seen him before. He said to give it to you, that was all.”

“Did you tell Dawes?”

“First thing, but he didn’t act concerned. He said bounty hunters brought trouble on themselves.”

Beau couldn’t believe his ears. “What about the raid at the Rocking J?”

“He thinks the thieves are long gone. He said the bullet was your personal business.”

“Fool,” Beau muttered.

Wallace wiped a glass. “Do you know who left it?”

“No, but I know what it means.” Johnson had sent him a summons. “When did he leave it?”

“Last Saturday.”

The night of the social…If Beau had come to the Silver River instead of watching fireworks, he’d have seen the man for himself. With his palm warming the casing, he made a decision. Tonight he’d offer Dani a marriage in name only. Tomorrow they’d take vows in front of a judge. He’d be out of Castle Rock by noon. With a little luck, he’d be home in a week. The other possibility, that he’d be doomed to wander for five more years, made him ill. Either way, Dani and the girls would be secure.

Smoke stung his eyes. He loved Dani, but he hated Clay Johnson even more. The truth shamed him, but as Josh had said, it couldn’t be denied.

Beau put the bullet in his pocket, paid for the coffee and walked out of the saloon. At the store he bought three pounds of butterscotch, dolls for the girls and the one thing he’d sworn not to buy. A ring for Dani. He picked a silver band with a pretty blue stone that matched her eyes. Someday he’d put a gold band on her finger. For now, silver and blue would have to do.

Dani worried every minute of Beau’s absence. The instant he mentioned Pastor Josh, she’d sensed trouble. When he walked into the house with enough butterscotch for a year and toys for the girls, her worry hardened into fear. Supper didn’t ease her heart. She’d expected him to be quiet as usual. Instead he was charming to them all. With the girls giggling and Dani enjoying his praise, the meal couldn’t have been more normal.

The girls washed the dishes and went upstairs, leaving Dani alone on the porch. She could see a light in Beau’s room and was tempted to knock on his door. Before she could decide, he strode across the yard. He’d shaved, something he usually did in the morning. He’d also put on his best shirt.

“It’s a nice night,” he said. “Let’s take a walk.”

“Sure.”

As she came down the steps, Dani considered Beau’s behavior. He’d gone to town to see Josh. He’d come back with candy, gifts and a secret. Her heart beat with the rhythm of a waltz. Her mind raced to reasons a man spoke in private to a minister.

With the moon lighting the way, Beau hooked his arm around her waist and guided her down the path to the stream behind the pasture. Full of snowmelt, it tumbled over rocks and made deep pools. When they reached the bank, Dani crouched and dipped her hand in the water. Her fingers tingled.

Beau cleared his throat. “I brought you here so we could speak in private.”

Dani blushed. “It’s a lovely night.”

He looked nervous. It charmed her until his eyes glinted with irritation. “I have bad news about the adoption.”

The tingle from the stream turned to a burn. Dani pushed to her feet. What a fool she’d been to expect talk of love. Putting aside thoughts of rings and her ivory dress, she faced Beau. “What happened?”

She listened as he described Trevor Scott’s visit. With every word, her anger grew. She didn’t care about Miss Lange’s opinion of
her,
but Beau deserved respect, even kindness. For the sake of his nieces, he’d stayed in Castle Rock. He’d done it for her, too. How much longer would he stay? Afraid to ask, Dani looked upstream and said a silent prayer.

Please, Lord. Show me what’s right. Protect the girls and show Beau You love him. You know my heart. You know what’s best. Amen.

Beau stepped to her side. “That’s the bad news. There’s good news, too.”

“There is?”

“Scott had a suggestion.”

Dani turned her head. Her eyes landed on Beau’s shoulder. She saw strength. It made her brave. “What is it?”

He kept his eyes on the stream. “If we got married—”

“Married?”

“In name only, of course.”

“I see.”

Dani blinked and saw her wedding gown. Earlier she’d imagined it touching her skin. She’d felt a ring on her finger, but Beau hadn’t offered that kind of marriage. “I don’t know what to say.”

“It sounds crazy, but Scott has a point.”

Dani huddled in her shawl.

Beau crossed his arms. “If we got married, the adoption would be secure. Harriet Lange couldn’t even sneeze at us.”

Dani liked the sound of “us,” but he didn’t mean it the way she did. “What about you?”

“I’m leaving.”

“For how long?”

“As long as it takes to find Johnson.”

Dani wished she hadn’t asked. She turned to the stream and dipped her hand into it. The cold jarred her senses but failed to numb her feelings.

Beau stepped up behind her. “Once the adoption’s settled, you can get an annulment.”

Not once in her dreams had she even thought that word. She understood the principle. An unconsummated marriage wasn’t a marriage at all, but what about her feelings? If he thought she could stop loving him, he’d lost his mind. Dani bit her lip to hold in an angry remark. Lecturing Beau—even telling him she loved him—wouldn’t make a whit of difference.

He touched her arm. “I have to say something else.”

“Not now.”

He leaned closer. “I care for you, Dani. Johnson’s close. If things go as I hope, I’ll be back in days, not months.”

But what then? Would killing Clay bring Beau peace? He thought so, but Dani had her doubts. Beau had been fighting God as much as he’d been battling Clay. Dani loved him, but she feared for the future. She also feared losing the girls.

Sighing, she faced Beau. “When do I have to decide?”

“The sooner, the better.”

“So you can leave.”

He nodded.

“That’s why you went to see Josh,” she said. “To arrange the ceremony.”

Beau frowned. “He won’t do it.”

Dani respected the pastor for his choice. She felt the same inclination, but she had to consider the girls. Before she made a decision, she wanted to hear Josh’s opinion for herself. She looked at Beau. “I’ll give you my answer on Sunday.”

He looked peeved. “That’s three days.”

“I need time. Surely—”

“Fine. Sunday it is.”

With her heart breaking, Dani led the way back to the house. Of all the marriage proposals she’d received, this one was by the far the saddest.

B
eau drove Dani and the girls to church on Sunday. He’d been on his best behavior after visiting Scott, but he had no intention of stepping inside the building. He had nothing more to say to Josh, and he doubted Adie would take his side. Dani alone controlled the future.

Beau stopped in front of the church, helped Dani down from the seat, then watched as his nieces went to Miss Adie’s Sunday school in the parsonage. Dani walked up the steps without looking back. If she had, she’d have seen Mr. Paisley Vest with his son, a young boy who needed a haircut. The kid saw the girls, spoke to his father and scampered off to be with Miss Adie. Beau wondered if she still used puppets to teach Sunday school. He’d helped her once. He’d been a bear named Jed and had hammed it up.

Stifling that memory, he sat in the surrey, waiting for stragglers to pass before he lifted the reins. The last couple went inside the building, but no one closed the door. When the pianist struck the opening chords of “Blessed Assurance,” Beau sat paralyzed. The hymn carried him beyond the moment, beyond his hate. When the music ended, a man read a Psalm filled with utter anguish. Beau understood every word. When it ended, the pianist struck a ponderous chord. Beau recognized “A Mighty Fortress is Our God.” He’d always liked that hymn. He found himself mouthing the words until the last note.

In the sudden silence, he heard Josh’s deep voice.

Beau felt a chill. He’d feared God his entire life. He’d obeyed the Lord’s commands, yet here he was…walking in darkness with no light.

Josh kept going.

Beau held in a curse. He’d trusted God and where had it gotten him? In the weeks after Lucy’s murder, he’d prayed every day. He’d waited for God to bring justice and received nothing. Beau wanted to leave, but Josh’s voice had the same quality as the familiar hymns. It struck chords that rang true. Instead of lifting the reins, Beau stared at the open door.

How many fires had Beau kindled on the open trail? At least a thousand, maybe more. Alone, he’d stared into the blaze, imagining the moment he’d find Clay Johnson. Those flames had encircled his soul.

Josh deepened his voice.

Rage poured through Beau’s veins. He’d walked by the light of his own fire for five years, but only because God hadn’t given him so much as a matchstick to light the way. At night, when Beau had lain devastated on the hard ground, God hadn’t done a thing to help him. The stars had winked in the cold sky, reminding him that somewhere Clay Johnson was seeing the sky and Lucy wasn’t.

Beau stared at the church. The white boards glistened in the sun, forcing him to squint. Who needed a God that would whitewash a murder? Not Beau. Before Josh could utter another word, Beau picked up the reins. As soon as he married Dani, he’d be riding out. He needed supplies, so he headed for town.

Dani had come to church needing a special touch. For three days, she’d agonized over Beau’s proposal. She could justify a marriage in name only in her mind, but she couldn’t settle it with her heart. She didn’t know what to do, and Heaven had remained silent. God, she believed, was listening. He just wasn’t talking.

He seemed to be talking now, though. The instant the organist played “A Mighty Fortress,” Dani felt like a child at her father’s knee. Her own father had been a man of few words, but he’d loved that hymn. After the music, Pastor Josh opened his Bible and read from Isaiah. His impassioned tone reminded her of the nights her father had read out loud to his family. He finished the verses, closed the Bible and looked right at Dani. “Some of us have hard decisions to make today. We know what we want. We know what other people want. But what does God want?”

Dani sat straighter. Josh had described her situation exactly. She didn’t want to be selfish or naive. She wanted to make the right decision no matter the personal cost. As Josh told stories about people in the Bible and the choices they’d made, she hung on to every word. When men trusted God, they triumphed. When they acted on their own, as Moses had when he’d struck the rock, they paid a price. She didn’t want to make that mistake.

Pastor Josh locked eyes with her. “How do we know God’s will?”

Dani thought of the obvious answers. Prayer. Reading the Bible. But what did a woman do when her choice would put others at risk? A marriage in name only struck Dani as wrong, but it would protect the girls. Saying no to Beau would protect her integrity, but the girls could end up in Minnesota.

The Reverend held her gaze. “God hasn’t spoken through a prophet like Isaiah in a lot of years, but he speaks to each of us every day. Sometimes he whispers in our ears. Sometimes he gives words to a friend. I’ve found when people say God’s not talking, most of the time—not all—they’re not listening. Why is that? The Creator of the Universe loves us. He sent His son to lead the way to eternity, yet we hold on to our ideas, our plans, as if we know everything. Why do we put faith in ourselves when the Lord knows far more than we do?”

He gave the congregation a minute to think.

“The answer’s simple. We’re afraid of the dark. We stop trusting God and start our own fires. They give off light but just for a while. They give us heat but only in a tiny circle. Those fires die out, leaving us colder than ever. Sometimes our fires do the opposite. They burn out of control and destroy our lives. Either way, we end up back in the dark.”

Josh paced some more. “So what do we do? How do we manage when the night stretches beyond our understanding and we’re as scared as children? The answer’s both easy and hard. We wait for the Lord to light the way. We walk by faith, not sight. That’s what this story is about.”

The words settled into Dani’s soul. If she married Beau, she’d be doing it out of fear, not faith. Her body tensed with dread. She couldn’t marry him, not even for the sake of the girls. God, she had to believe, had a better plan than a deceitful marriage. Her stomach was doing flips, but she had peace about her decision. Tonight she’d tell Beau she couldn’t marry him. She didn’t think he’d leave without finalizing the adoption, but she couldn’t be sure. Refusing his offer could cost her everything, but so could taking it. She wanted a real marriage, not a compromise.

With that thought, the light of her own fire went out completely, plunging her into the dark. She couldn’t speak to Beau until the girls were asleep, which meant she had all afternoon to imagine a lonely train ride back to Wisconsin. As the organist played the closing hymn, Dani prayed for strength.

Tired of pacing by the stream, Beau glanced up at the moon. After church, Dani had whispered that she’d reached a decision and would speak to him after the girls went to bed. Ever since, he’d been tense and way. He almost wished he’d gone inside the church to hear Josh preach. Back in Denver, the man’s sermons had been like a match to tinder. Beau’s faith had caught fire, but Lucy’s death had doused those flames.

Beau didn’t know what the Reverend had said today, but Dani had come out with her chin held high. She’d looked ready to fight, but with whom? Beau or Harriet Lange?

He didn’t know, but he’d find out soon. Twenty minutes ago, she’d asked him to meet her at the stream. He’d been grateful to walk alone. Every minute he spent with her made him doubt his decision to leave. To stay focused, he kept the bullet in his pocket. He had it now. He also had Dani’s ring. If she said yes, he’d give it to her tonight.

Beau sensed movement, turned and saw Dani walking along the fence. The sight of her stole his breath. She had on a pale blue dress, one he’d never seen before. It matched her eyes. She’d taken time with her hair, too. Instead of a coiled braid, she’d pinned it up in a smooth knot. Had she dressed up for the occasion? He hoped so but chastised himself. They were conducting business, not a courtship.

“Hi there,” he called.

“Hi.”

“Nice night,” he said, sounding casual.

Dani didn’t seem to hear him. She stopped two feet away and raised her chin. “I’ve reached a decision. While I appreciate your offer, I can’t agree to a marriage in name only.”

Beau had been in a lot of fights but never one with so many players. Dani had Josh on her side, Adie, the girls and Lucy, too. In a bizarre twist of irony, Beau’s only ally was Clay Johnson. That fact should have told him something, but he turned a deaf ear to the small voice of his conscience. He couldn’t leave until the judge finalized the adoption. He had to make Dani change her mind.

“Why not?” he asked.

She stood ramrod straight. “It would be dishonest.”

“It’s necessary. Think of the girls.”

“I am.”

His blood started to burn. “What about Harriet Lange? She’s already causing trouble.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course, it matters!” Beau thought she’d lost her mind.

Dani laced her fingers at her waist. “I have to believe that God has a plan. He knows what’s best.”

“He doesn’t give a hoot!” The only man Beau trusted these days was himself. He didn’t want to antagonize Dani, so he tried to sound mild. “I know this is hard for you, but a marriage in name only is the easiest way to settle the adoption.”

“Maybe, but it’s not the best way.”

“Dani—”

“I can’t, Beau.” Her voice shook. “It would be wrong in so many ways.”

“Name one.”

“We’d be telling three girls that marriage is nothing but a business arrangement.”

“They don’t have to know.”

“So we’d be lying.”

She had a point, but so did he. “This arrangement is no one’s business but ours.”

“I’d be lying to myself and to the girls.” Her voice dropped to a murmur. “I can’t do it.”

He shook his head in disgust. “Josh must have preached a barn burner of a sermon.”

“He made me see the truth.”

“What truth?”

“God has a plan for us, and it doesn’t include a fake marriage. If we do it
His
way, not ours, He’ll see us through.”

Beau’s jaw tightened. “Like He saw Lucy through?”

“I’m so sorry—”

“
Sorry
doesn’t cut butter.”

If she told him to set down his hate, he’d walk away. He half hoped she would. He’d have a reason to storm off. Instead she looked at him with heartfelt sympathy, then held out her hand. Beau stared at her fingers. Long and strong, they reminded him of the twigs a bird used to build a nest. She deserved a nest of her own. He wanted to build that home and share it with her, but he couldn’t. If he took her hand tonight, he’d never leave.

Dani crossed the two steps between them and cupped his face in her palms. “There’s another reason I can’t say yes.”

“Don’t say it.”

“I love you, Beau. You know that.”

“Dani—”

“I want everything God has for us.”

Beau knew what it meant to love a woman, to carry her burdens and share her dreams. He’d have died in Lucy’s place. He felt the same way about Dani. He also knew how it felt to be loved. A woman’s smile made a man stand tall. It made him stronger and better in ways no man understood. Beau felt that love now. It was time to be a better man—Dani’s man—but he couldn’t do it without denying his own need for justice.

He jerked away from her touch. “Maybe you’re right.”

Her eyes filled with hope. He hated himself for what he was about to say, but it couldn’t be helped. “You need a husband, a man who won’t leave. I’m not that man.”

“You could be.”

He clenched his teeth. He loved this woman, but he couldn’t tell her how he felt. Leaving would be hard enough without an empty promise.

She stepped closer. “I want you to be that man.”

Beau breathed in the scent of her hair. If he reached for her, she’d be in his arms. He’d kiss her and tell her he loved her…then where would they be? He had to finish his business with Clay. He reached into his pocket, pinched the bullet and raised it for her to see. “Johnson left this for me.”

Her eyes filled with revulsion, then fear. “He wants to kill you.”

“The feeling’s mutual.”

“Stay,” Dani pleaded. “We can have a good life. We can—” She bit her tongue, then turned her back and gave a dry laugh. “I’ve never begged in my life. I’m embarrassed.”

Beau touched her shoulder. “Don’t be. I’m honored.” He wanted to turn her around but settled for looking at every hair on her head. “I have to go, Dani. With a little luck, I’ll be back soon and free to say what’s in my heart.”

Her shoulders quivered. “When are you going?”

“The instant the adoption’s final.”

“But Harriet Lange—”

“I’ll visit Scott tomorrow. Maybe he can speed things up.”

“I see.”