The Boy Detective

Dedication

for Peter and Judy,

friends for a lifetime

Epigraphs

“My dear fellow,” said Sherlock Holmes, as we sat on either side of the fire in his lodgings at Baker Street, “life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent. We would not dare to conceive the things which are really mere commonplaces of existence.”

—
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
, “
A CASE OF IDENTITY
”

Not less because in purple I descended
The western day through what you called
The loneliest air, not less was I myself.

—
WALLACE STEVENS
, “
TEA AT THE PALAZ OF HOON
”

“Why do you have to go back?”
“It's not over yet.”

—
HARPER

Contents

Dedication

Epigraphs

 

The Beginning

 

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Also by Roger Rosenblatt

Credits

Copyright

About the Publisher

 

I
T WAS ICE,
pal
, I don't mind telling you. The revolver was ice. Since nine-year-olds didn't wear suit jackets, I had to carry it in a jury-rigged shoulder holster under my polo shirt, and the cap gun was ice against my chest. The look was that of a kid who had just snitched a mango from a fruit stand and was trying to conceal it. Nonetheless, I managed to maintain a grim, professional demeanor, lest my suspects spot any weakness and get the upper hand. I trailed them among the secret stores and wholesale houses of the neither-here-nor-there neighborhoods of downtown New York. Most of them hung around the Met Life Building, which looked innocuous enough, but clearly was teeming with crime. The businessmen under my surveillance also looked harmless, to anyone but me. I trailed them at short distances—called “rough shadowing” in the trade—making it easy for them to notice me, because if the killer did not know he was being followed, no one else would either. I saw myself as acting simultaneously in real time and in a film noir, so I was both tracking my quarry and watching myself do it. For his part, the killer, sensing danger, would turn around from time to time, confused and annoyed at being pursued by a kid with a mango in his shirt.

 

W
HICH LEADS ME,
as you might expect, to the unpleasantness at Vercessi's Hardware. Mr. Vercessi was trussed up with electrical wire and gagged with a kitchen sponge. He rolled this way and that on the floor of his store at Twenty-third. The two robbers took all they could carry. Every so often they emerged from the store bearing ball-peen hammers, drill bits, and torque wrenches, which they dumped in the back of a small red pickup, double-parked with the engine running. Mr. Vercessi had only $18 in his cash register. The robbers were so angry they could have killed him then and there. We can take some stuff, they said. We'll get something for the stuff.

It was two forty-five in the morning, and they had been at it since nine. Mr. Vercessi, about to close up for the night, had been alone in the store when the two men shouldered their way inside—one with a skeletal face white as chalk, the other speaking half in German, half in Japanese. The skeleton knocked Mr. Vercessi down with his fists. The bilingual one tied him up and shoved the sponge in his mouth. Then followed the enraged reaction to the cash, and the taking of the hardware. The skeleton considered clubbing Mr. Vercessi on the head with a length of pipe, but the bilingual one persuaded him not to.

Of course, I made all that up, but I had so little to go on, and the police, ever uncooperative, told me nothing as usual, treating me like a child. The following morning, I examined the scene of the crime while two cops in plainclothes asked questions of Mr. Vercessi. I was practiced in dealing with cases like that, so I scoured the sidewalk for clues and found a matchbook with handwriting on the inside cover, which I took home for further study under my magnifying glass. I did not mention it that night at dinner, when we sat as we always did—my parents, my brother, and I—saying not a word.

 

O
NCE
I
WILLED
a sequence of dreams in which I was an owl detective, both an owl and a detective. Nothing much happened in the dream. I remember hailing a taxi and telling the driver to “Follow that car” through the downtown streets, without ever catching “that car.” As a largish owl, I had some difficulty stuffing my feathers into the taxi. But I was so happy with the experience when I woke up, that the following night, through sheer force of will, I had the same exact dream. And the night after that as well. And the night after that. Four nights in a row as an owl detective getting into a taxi and following a car into the impenetrable dark.

In
Speak, Memory,
Nabokov observes an aged swan, heavy and powerless, failing in its attempt to board a moored boat. He knows that the scene contains significance for him, but it is obscure—akin to moments in dreams when a finger is pressed against one's lips, and the finger points to an explanation that the dreamer has no time to receive before he awakens.

 

A
MOMENT SUCH
as now, in fact. That moment on a winter's day when the streetlights click on all at once, and you cannot help but smile. You might think that an awareness of the dark, just a moment before, would make you sad, half-sad at least. But the exuberant insistence of light, the brass of it, drives off gloom with a snap. Here I walk with the others of my city, heads high, backs straight. Let the cannon topple from the parapets. Let the owl fall into its feathers. Let the dreams begin and end. Big lights. Don't you love it? A penny for your thoughts.

For no reason at all, I think of Europe at this hour. And of the movie
Foreign Correspondent
—“Hang on to your lights, America. They're the only lights left in the world.” The streetlights of London, Brussels, Prague, Budapest, lamps bowing from the neck like deacons. I don't know. They seem like ancient annotated texts, yet delve no deeper than the streetlights here, overlooking you and me. Somewhere in the city, your love lies sleeping in the curl of the night, and you proceed along Twenty-eighth Street gathering light like tulips, to bring to her bedside. She greets light in her dreams.

The street where lovers lost sight of each other was much like this one. And the street where the villains with long knives stalked the waitress from the pub. Everyone walking from one pool of light toward another.

Clumsily I jump a patch of old snow stuck to a square in the sidewalk. Old snow, abandoned after the plows have cleared the streets. It hangs tough before it liquefies, clinging to the cornerstones, the bases of fountains, the knuckles of the statuary, in a last-man-standing gesture of self-assertion. Like the person who says “by the way” at the end of a conversation, introducing the subject he's wanted to speak of all along. The most important thing on his mind. Crusty, sooty detritus. A cold declension, but alive. Light falls on old snow. Are you with me, pal?

 

I
T IS
F
EBRUARY
2011. And here I am again, walking the same streets I did as a boy. I have been teaching a class in memoir writing at Stony Brook University's Manhattan campus, on East Twenty-seventh Street. After class, I patrol the territory of my childhood. My home, my neighborhood of Gramercy Park, with its private, gated park that requires a key. Irving Place, named for Washington Irving and where he never lived. Madison Square, once the heart of upper-crust New York and where the Gilbert Hall of Science blazed, with its array of test tubes and bubbling amber liquids in great globes of glass. And the Lionel Train store and its smell of machine oil, and its nettings of tracks, whistles, and bridges. And Twenty-third Street, where the seedy novelty shops slouched in a row. And Twenty-fourth, the home of the Horse Market in the 1860s, and its modern remnants, two saddlery shops, Miller's and Kauffman's, with their gleaming saddles displayed on bright wood mounts. The dusky brownstones, aged gray by winter. The haberdasheries bearing headless manikins in ill-fitting shirts behind smudged glass. Met Life, the tallest building in the world till 1913. The Flatiron Building on Twenty-third, the tallest building before that, where the phrase “23 skidoo” originated, for the wind gusts caused by the triangular shape of the structure. Zoot-suiters would loiter at the point of the Flatiron to leer at women's skirts blown upward. Cops would shoo them away with “23 skidoo.”

And Murray Hill, with its mixed air of elegance and menace. And the Village (no East Village in those days), boisterous, still Bohemian. And St. Marks Place, where my grandparents lived, and the old people—probably my age now—parked on folding chairs on the sidewalks in front of their tenements, and gossiping in Yiddish, Polish, German; the women with their thick legs exposed, brown stockings short of the knees. And Union Square, where I listened to a black man with hair like Uncle Ben of the rice box and a rich baritone give a speech about the modern enslavement of “the Negro.” He was shirtless, wore a rope for a belt, and had tied himself up with chains. And Stuyvesant Park, cleaved in two by Second Avenue. And nearby Stuyvesant Town, home of Virginia Lee Jones—Ginny Jones, my best girl, with her shining brown hair, kind eyes, and noble bearing, my wife to be, mother of our children to be. All within walking distance in an area of New York, two and a half miles long and one mile wide, in which I first detected my life. Here I walk.

 

O
N WALKING
? “A walk is a way of entering the body, and also leaving it,” said Edward Hirsch. That's very good. I walk within me and without. But how do you walk in the world? One foot in front of the other, declare the pragmatists. Yet in this life of ours, merely to become vertical requires two years, so any child can see that this walking business is not easy. Even when you get the hang of it, you still stumble and take headers. I read about a disabled boy named Walker who couldn't move a step, if you see what I mean. And, of course, the legless soldiers: How do they roll?

Sometimes I feel like the knotted cripples who drag themselves on crutches before congregations of thousands toward an altar festooned with tulips and a televangelist with a terrible pale face, who enunciates every letter of every word. He lays his hand on my head and beseeches heaven to save me. And then—would you believe it?—I feel the muscles tingle in my thighs, and very slowly I pull myself up, clinging to the shoulders of the preacher, and—praise Jesus!—I am standing, my crutches flung aside, and everyone is clapping and singing and weeping, until I take my first independent step, catch my foot on a nail, fall off the stage, and crack my pelvis in four places.

If you ask me, each of us has two souls, not one, and we take these two souls on our walks. One soul is for the senses, one for the intellect. So, our minds have a soul, which is our point of deepest thinking. And our hearts have a soul, which is our point of deepest feeling. They lead parallel lives, these two souls, never meeting yet connected, and side by side they move into infinity, like legs on a walk.

 

S
AME OLD, SAME
OLD.
A man retraces the steps of his youth in order to determine where he has been and where he is. Your basic mystery story. Mixed motives, false leads, dead-end trails. Innocence is mistaken for guilt, guilt for innocence. Missing persons. Bodies everywhere. Only this particular mystery is endless, without crime, criminal, or justice. Wordsworth uses a phrase in
The Prelude
that may apply to what I'm doing—“From hour to hour the illimitable walk / Still among Streets with cloud and sky above.” He's speaking of walking in London, which, like New York, was and is as much an ideal as a reality, the place that is but also could be, should be. So, he refers to his wanderings as an “illimitable walk,” meaning that if you commit yourself to wandering in the city, you cannot arrive anywhere, meaning also that you cannot
go
anywhere either. Like tracing a Möbius strip on which you can cover a good deal of ground, right side up and upside down, by going nowhere. But how
do
you walk in the world? Our lives runneth over with unsolved cases.

See, for starters, my parents' apartment at 36 Gramercy Park. From all outward appearances, it was gracious and open, like any big New York apartment built in the early 1900s. Eight large rooms with twelve-foot ceilings. French doors in the dining room. Gaslit fireplaces, with wisps of fake white ashes on the petrified logs. A narrow entrance hall leading to a grand foyer with a huge tubular chandelier painted unpolished gold. Wedgewood dinner plates propped up on little wooden stands. A midsize Steinway at the far end of the living room. Purple velvet on the window seats.

But there was also a secret panel in the dining room wall that concealed a small compartment, and a wall safe in my parents' bedroom that no one ever had opened, and a defunct dumbwaiter in the kitchen with a dark, empty shaft that ran the twelve-story height of the building. In my own room, a doorway had been covered and sealed with plywood and painted over. It led to the Homers' apartment on the opposite side of the floor. There were two apartments per floor. At one time, had the ninth floor of 36 Gramercy Park been one immense apartment, sixteen rooms? That seemed unlikely, because the two apartments were symmetrical. No one would plan an apartment with two identical foyers, two halls, two dining rooms and living rooms. So you tell me: Why the sealed door?

 

A
ND
I
TELL
YOU:
Gladly would I have forsaken the eight grand rooms in Gramercy Park for Sherlock Holmes's “lodgings” and “accommodations” at 221B Baker Street, consisting of “a couple of comfortable bedrooms and a single large airy sitting-room, cheerfully furnished and illuminated by two broad windows.” Hell, I'd have been content with a one bedroom at 221A or 221C. I did not want to be one of Holmes's “Baker Street Irregulars,” the gang of street kids he enlisted for help from time to time. I wanted to be Holmes, himself. The detective I concocted for myself was not exactly like him. What I imagined was a composite made up of Holmes's powers of observation, Hercule Poirot's powers of deduction, Sam Spade's straight talk, Miss Marple's stick-to-itiveness, and Philip Marlowe's courage and sense of honor—he who traveled the “mean streets,” like mine, and was “neither tarnished nor afraid.” The fact that, as far as I could tell, I lacked every single one of these qualities, and saw no prospect of ever achieving them, presented no discouragement.

The reason Holmes stood first among my shamus gods was, in part, that his were the first detective stories I ever read, understanding about one-third of each. But I easily grasped how well he lived, and how perfect was his setup on Baker Street. If I was a bit unsure as to what “lodgings” and “accommodations” meant, to say nothing of a “sitting-room,” the atmosphere of his life was clear. He was a “consulting detective.” He sat at home puffing on his pipe and playing his violin until someone consulted him. And sure enough, someone always would. And that someone would be very important, such as Lord Saltire, the son of the duke of Holderness, whoever that was, and the king of Sardinia, wherever that was.