The Boy Project (3 page)

Chip was bent over, acting like he was tying his shoe, but I could see his shoulders shaking so I know he's the one who wrote it. Typical. With his head down, I had the perfect chance to erase his name and write
Stu Pitt
instead. I did this quickly, before I could talk myself out of it, then ran the sheet up to the sub.

I really don't think Mrs. Hill will suspect that I wrote the phony name, because I never do anything wrong. Honestly. I'm
that
boring. I hope boring people can find love, too. Never mind. I know they can. Look at my parents.

Taking notes on Chip is probably a big waste of time. But it will be worth it if I don't see James in dreamland tonight.

Evan and I were walking into the building at the same time today and he said, “Hi,” and I said, “Hi.” No big deal, right? Wrong! I'm trying to get up the nerve to talk to him at lunch.

I just turned in my test on the Battle of Gettysburg and I figure as long as I look down, Mrs. Willis won't claim I'm not keeping my eyes on my own paper. If she
does
call me out, it'll be totally hypocritical because Tiffany Davidson
never
has her eyes on her own paper. She always has them glued to Alex. Not Alex Brantley. Alex Langford. I took a good long look at him, too, while I was walking back to my seat.

Alex Langford is like a watered-down version of Alex Brantley — just like his girlfriend, Tiffany, is a watered-down version of Maybelline. Tabbi and I call Tiffany “The Sponge”
because if Colleen is the makeup, then Tiffany is definitely the applicator sponge! She soaks up everything that is Maybelline.

I don't like Maybelline at all, but I have to admit that she has a personality. It's a mean, nasty, vain personality — but no one can deny that she has one.

The Sponge's only personality trait, on the other hand, is that she wants to be just like Maybelline. I mean, if there were a body-size Maybelline tattoo, Tiffany would be tattooed from head to toe. In fact, I think the only reason Tiffany likes Alex Langford is that he has the same first name as Maybelline's boyfriend. She's always talking to Maybelline about “
my
Alex and
your
Alex.”

Anyway, Alex Langford doesn't have much of a personality either. All he does is stand around next to Alex Brantley with his arm around The Sponge, smiling at what
other
people say. So it's fine with me if he's The Sponge's boyfriend. I just don't want someone like that for mine.

I love my room. Last summer, Mom said I could “celebrate my creativity” by decorating it any way I wanted (within reason). And despite the fact that I think it is perfectly reasonable to paint a ceiling black before covering it with glow-in-the-dark stars and Mom does not, I like how my room turned out. We bought this thick, shaggy cream rug, and Mom helped me make cool roll-down shades out of old jeans. (The really great thing about those is that I can store small things that I don't want Mom to see in the pockets. Like notes. And no, they don't fall out.)

Dad helped, too, by covering the old pink walls with indigo paint. We strung little Christmas lights around the crown molding for the finishing touch. So even though I was vetoed on the black-ceiling thing, I still have the feeling of being wrapped in a night sky when I roll down the shades, turn off the overhead lights, and relax on my cloudlike, fluffy shag rug, looking up at the twinkling Christmas-light stars.

Because my room
is
so cool, I never really mind going there to study. Or to do things that are more important than studying. Like trying to figure out how to get a boyfriend.

What I mostly want to figure out right now is how I can get Evan Carlson to ask me out. I think I'm getting a little closer to that goal! Today at lunch I casually suggested to Tabbi that instead of sitting at our usual table with Anna Johnstone and Dianna Leroy, we sit at Evan's table. It's right next to the “popular” table, where Alex Brantley and Maybelline sit, along with their ever-present groupies, Alex Langford and The Sponge. Tabbi thought it was a great idea!

I felt a little guilty using Tabbi's obsession with the unobtainable to obtain my obsession. But we ended up having a great conversation with Evan! Tabbi even stopped drooling over Alex B long enough to join in the discussion, thank goodness, because I was having a hard time thinking of stuff to say. I let Tabs do most of the talking until the conversation turned to track.

Evan wants to join the team this spring. He's even going to weight training after school. Luckily, this is a subject I know something about, being the sister of a track star and all. Who knew those hundreds of butt-numbing hours on metal bleachers would come in handy?

So. I may not have found a boyfriend, but at least I've found the courage to approach my crush!

There is no one — NO ONE — left in the cafeteria. And I wouldn't be here either except that if a teacher keeps you in for lunch detention, they're obligated to let you out for at least the last ten minutes so you have a chance to eat. You read that right. Detention.

This was my first experience with detention ever, and it was totally mortifying. It turns out that Mrs. Hill
is
capable of suspecting a completely boring student who
never
gets in trouble of creatively altering an attendance sheet. Actually, the detention itself wasn't so mortifying. But what Mrs. Hill said in front of the whole entire class was. I'll never forget those words.

“Kara and Chip need to stay seated when the bell rings. The two of you have lunch detention for that little stunt you pulled yesterday.”

Thankfully, the
brrrriiiiiiiiiiiing
cut her off.

Did you know that out of a class of twenty-three students, eighteen look back over their shoulders when they leave a room? At least they do when two of their classmates are in trouble. Tabbi gave me a sympathetic backward glance. She was the only one who knew that we were guilty of what Mrs. Hill later called “tampering with the substitute's role.” Everyone else just seemed curious. Even Evan.

See how many nosy people there are in my class? See?

Will this ruin my chances with Evan?
Stunt
could mean anything. What if he thinks Chip and I were kissing or something? What if he's incapable of loving someone who's served detention? I felt sick.

I felt even sicker when Mrs. Hill told us our punishment was to “talk and discover something to like about each other.” Then she left the room!

As soon as she was gone, Chip said, “What'd you replace my name with —
Justin Credible
?”

“No,” I said. “I went with
Stu Pitt
. But I should have used
Yul B. Sari
.”

“Actually,
Jed I. Knight
would have been perfect.” (Apparently he's a huge Star Wars fan. Figures.)

“Nah,” I said. “But
Ima Moron
suits
.
”

Chip suggested a few more names. So did I. The more crazy names we came up with, the funnier it got.

We eventually made a list of twenty-three names. One for each of the students in our class. Next time we have a sub, we're going to replace the entire class list with our bogus list.

By the time Mrs. Hill came back, we were cracking ourselves up. She gave us what mystery writers call a
“
knowing smile” and said, “It's just as I suspected. You two have solved your differences!”

I don't know about solving our differences. I guess I think Chip Tyler is pretty funny now. I mean, I still think he makes a lot of stupid jokes, but he makes some funny ones, too.

The bell is ringing and I haven't eaten a bite!

Tabbi called me as soon as the bus pulled up in front of my house. That girl has perfect timing. She knows I can't really talk about anything good when I'm trapped in the guts of the big yellow land whale. We didn't have the usual conversation. Unfortunately.

Tabs:
So? Detention was about the fake names you guys put on the sub list, right?

Me:
Yep. Thanks for passing the list back to me, BTW. You could've just turned it in. Then only Chip would've gotten in trouble.

Tabs:
(
Giggles
) Sorry! I thought you'd want to know.

Me:
(
Sigh
) I did.

Tabs:
So what'd you have to do?

Me:
Nothing.

Tabs:
You're kidding. You didn't clean desks, write paragraphs, or anything?

Me:
Nope.

Tabs:
What'd Mrs. H say to you?

Me:
Well, she said we needed to talk and work out our differences. Then she left the room.

Tabs:
No! She left you alone with Chip Tyler? That
is
a punishment!

Me:
He wasn't so bad, actually.

Tabs:
Not so bad?! How can you say that about that knucklehead? Wait a minute. Please tell me he didn't try to make up for that spin the bottle goof-up. Did you guys kiss?

Me:
TAB-I-THA!

Tabs:
KA-RA!

Me:
I wouldn't kiss Chip Tyler.

Tabs:
You went into that closet with him. . . .

Me:
That was different and you know it. It was dark, and we were at a party. And it was a game. I had to go into the closet with him when the bottle pointed to me or else look like a dork.

Tabs:
So why'd you say he wasn't bad?

Me:
He's just funny. That's all.

Tabs:
Oh.

Me:
(
Trying to change the subject
) Sorry I abandoned you at lunch. Who'd you end up sitting with?

Tabs:
Evan.

Me:

Me:

Me:

Tabs:
Kara? Hello?

Me:
I thought you liked Alex!

(I kind of shrieked that last sentence. Hope Tabs didn't notice.)

Tabs:
I do. But I can't exactly sit with him while Maybelline is all over him. And Evan was so nice yesterday, I thought I'd just sit there again.

Me:
(
Trying to sound casual
) Was he nice again today?

Tabs:
Sure. And I had a great view of Alex the whole time.

Me:
(
Huge sigh of relief that I hope Tabs didn't hear
) Do you think Alex noticed you?

Tabs:
Yeah, but he couldn't really talk to me. You know. He has to pretend to like Maybelline.

Me:
Tabs. He does like Maybelline.

Tabs:
How could he? She's so mean. Do you think he'll dump her?

Me:
No.

Tabs:
Ever?

Me:
Nope.

And we talked about Tabs's obsession until Mom called me for dinner. Whew!

Ugh! It's the weekend, and weekends = doom. I know, because I did the equation.