The Boy Who Paints Me (19 page)

“Kiss me, Rai...just for us,” he whispered as the music continued to play in the background. I did, I kissed him like he was the air that I needed to survive. I melted into him. I
needed
him...wanted him. I wasn’t even sure when he pulled away but I knew how cold it felt without him. “Hey,” he chuckled as his forehead rested against mine.

“Hey,” I whispered into the silence of the night. The sudden excitement of the moment faded as I looked over Leighton’s shoulder. I could feel the panic start to rise in my lungs as I struggled for air.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” He asked as he held my face in his hands.

“Something’s not right,” I muttered as I looked back at my aunt’s house. One thing that I am not is a forgetful person and seeing that the living room light was left on told me straight away that I hadn’t left it that way.
Mitch
. I knew that he would find me, it was only a matter of time; I can’t believe that I was so careless. I’ve been so wrapped up in Leighton that I had stopped focusing. I knew one thing...If he was here then I had to go. “It’s him, he’s in there,” I whispered as the tears fell down my cheeks.

“Listen, Rai, calm down, ok? I’m going to go in there and see what ‘s going on, you stay here, ok?” I could hear him but the words refused to leave my lips. “Rai, did you hear me?” He asked firmly. I nodded my head as I watched him step out the car.

As I watched Leighton step out of the car and move cautiously towards my aunt’s house, my head started to race frantically. My vision was becoming blurred, and my breathing pattern was all over the place. I wanted to scream and beg him to come back and run away with me. I couldn’t do it, this wasn’t his mess; it was mine. I had to go. I needed to get out of here. It didn’t matter about the money or my clothes. I just needed to go. I couldn’t go back there, with Mitch, not now...not now that I knew that there was more. I looked down at the keys that were still hanging in the ignition and then back at the front door that Leighton had disappeared through. I had to go, I knew it. I could get a head start; I could disappear into the night. I would be careful this time. I needed to go somewhere that he couldn’t trace me back to. Without even thinking, I slid into the driver’s seat of Leighton’s car and clung to the steering wheel like it was giving me the confidence that I lacked. I looked back at the door praying to see Leighton walk back out...he didn’t. I couldn’t stay. I pulled the seatbelt over my chest and twisted the keys in the ignition. I let out a sigh of relief as the engine roared to life. I looked back at the house one last time before driving slowly away as the guilt filled my entire body.

I drove down the road, a few feet before slamming my foot down on the brakes. I couldn’t do it. I was so mad at myself but I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t leave Leighton. I should have ran, I should never have taken the risk, coming back but I couldn’t leave. I
needed
him. I put the car into reverse and drove until I was back outside of Aunt Sarah’s house again. I turned off the ignition, and pulled out the keys with shaky hands as I made my way out of the car. Each step towards the house felt like an eternity. It wasn’t until the door slammed open that time started to move at a normal pace.

As I looked into the face staring back at me, uncontrollable tears started to stream down my face....

“Mom?”

Chapter 9

I couldn’t see past the tears in my eyes, and my head was spinning like a tornado. I could feel my hands shaking and my palms becoming clammy as I tried to look at her. I could make out her flowing brown hair and her dainty body but that was it.

“Rainie?” It was almost a whisper but as she spoke my stomach dropped. It dropped out of joy and disappointment. Disappointment because I now knew that it wasn’t her, and joy over the new owner of the voice.

“Aunt Sarah?” I whispered, almost painfully.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry, I thought you were...I thought she was...I...”

“It’s ok, baby, you don’t need to explain, come on,” she said as she took my hand and led me inside. I wasn’t even sure when she had walked towards me but the warmth of her skin against mine was comforting. As the tears slowly began to dry, I took in my aunt’s worried face. She was staring at me as though she was afraid for my life. She also had that look that said ‘I want answers’. I didn’t want to give them but I knew that I had to. When I had seen Aunt Sarah, I was so afraid that Mitch was there that I didn’t even focus. I just looked at the same small frame and brown hair that she shared with my mom and freaked out. I was so angry with myself because part of me was happy to see my mom. I was happy when I thought that she had come for me, even after everything that she had done, and it made me mad.

“Where’s Leighton?” I managed to whisper.

“He’s gone home. I’m going to get you a drink, wait there,” she said in a gentle voice. I allowed my body to sink into the couch as I tried to block out the images of my mom that were flying through my brain. I couldn’t believe that I had risked seeing Mitch, risked going back to that life for Leighton. I must have been crazy. What made me even crazier is that even as I’m sitting here now, if I had the chance to re-live the last ten minutes of my life, I would have come back again.

“Here,” Aunt Sarah said, handing me a glass of water. She watched me take my first sip before I placed it down on the coffee table. I knew that she was trying to be gentle, and careful but she wanted me to talk.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” I whispered as I let my eyes drift to my tangled hands, resting in my lap.

“Rainie, are you ok?” She breathed as she moved to sit next to me.

“Ye-“ I paused before shaking my head. I couldn’t lie anymore, I needed a day off...just one.

“You’re not here for a vacation, are you?” She asked. I shook my head gently from side to side. “Does Julie know that you’re here?” She asked, referring to my mom. I shook my head again. “You need to call her,” she said firmly.

“I can’t,” I whispered as the tears began to fall again.

“Look, Rainie, whatever falling out you two have had, she is still your mom, and you need to let her know that you’re safe,” she whispered as she pulled me in for a hug. I inhaled her perfume, slowly as I allowed myself to mould into her body. I missed this comfort; I needed it. “Rainie, what’s going on?” She said as she rocked my shaking body.

“I can’t call her...”

“Why?”

“Because...I don’t know where she is,” I finally admitted as I let my eyes fall closed.

“I don’t understand, I thought that she was with Derek?” She asked in confusion. I mentally scoffed as I heard her using Mitch’s ‘fake’ name, it made me feel sick. Everything about him made me feel that way I remember the first day that he invented that name, that day will be forever tattooed on my brain.

It was the start of the summer break, and I was excited. I couldn’t wait to see Aunt Sarah, just like we always did. Mitch had been successful at keeping us away from everything we were used to. My mom didn’t have any friends anymore, especially male ones. She didn’t go out with them, and they didn’t visit. I had to drop my friends at school. He told me to pretend that I didn’t see them anymore. Apparently, friends gossip, and he didn’t want his business on the street. Eventually Mom’s friends thought that she was stuck up, and mine became my enemies, making my high school life a living hell. It was just the way that he wanted it, so that he could keep us to himself. He even stopped us from going to church. I hated it because except for Aunt Sarah, mom didn’t speak to her family, and I had never met my dad or his family. Our friends at school, church and everywhere else were sort of like our family. He took that away, he took all of it away, and she let him.

I almost jumped in excitement when my mom came down the stairs but then the joy was instantly disappeared as I saw the expression on her face. Something was wrong. I didn’t need to ask what was wrong because Mitch was following behind. He always ruined the good moments.

“Hey, sweetie, listen, I need to talk to you,” my mom said as she stroked the sides of my face with her hands. “We’re going to give the trip to Aunt Sarah’s a miss this summer.”

“What?” I gasped as I pulled away from her.

“It’s only this summer, there will be other summers-“

“Don’t lie to her, Julie,” Mitch grunted from behind her.

“Why can’t we go?” I questioned as the anger built up inside of me.

“Because I said so, I make the rules around here, Princess,” Mitch replied but my eyes were fixed on my moms. I had lost it. I was fed up. Aunt Sarah was the last thing that we had left, and I was going to fight for her.

“No, he doesn’t make the rules! You haven’t even known him that long, and he’s changing everything!” I screamed.

“Rainie, stop,” she warned.

“No! We don’t have friends, we can’t go out. We can’t even go to church anymore! I miss everything! Why are you letting him change our lives?” I screamed, slightly out of breath.

“Sometimes things have to change, just stop getting yourself so worked up, please,” she begged. She was pleading with her eyes but I had had enough. I wanted my old life back where it was just us. I wanted back my peace. “Mitch, please, look what it’s doing to her. Maybe we could just go for a week?” My mom asked, turning around to face Mitch.

“What did we discuss upstairs?” He asked angrily, causing me to become instantly silent.

“I know but it’s breaking her heart. We won’t go for the entire summer but maybe a week wouldn’t hurt,” she said in a timid voice. She was scared, and right now, so was I. The look in Mitch’s blue eyes was fierce. My mom had never questioned him before, and he looked beyond mad. I was about to take it all back and say that it didn’t matter but I was too late. My words were not faster than the fist that was heading towards my mom’s face. I screamed as she fell to the floor just in front of me. My eyes instantly filled with tears as her screams filled the entire house. It was the first time that he had ever hit her, and it was my fault.

I was so mad at myself. As I watched him drag her to her feet, my heart sank. He held her back slightly by her baby blue top and pulled his fist back.

“No!” The scream was so loud and so foreign that it took me a while to realise that it had come out of my mouth. All three of us froze and two pairs of eyes landed on mine. “I’m sorry, it doesn’t matter if we don’t go just please don’t hit her again,” I begged as I wiped away the warm liquid that ran out of my nose, with the back of my sleeve.

Mitch’s eyes were amused as he looked at me. He let go of my mom instantly before walking towards me. I could feel my heart beating and the sick rising to my throat with every step that he took. He stopped just in front of me before reaching behind me, causing me to shiver as his hand glided past my hip. “Only because you asked, Rain, only for you,” he whispered as he smiled at me. He pulled his hand from behind me to reveal his cell phone before turning to face my mom who looked terrified. “Here, make the call to your sister, and make sure that you hide my number,” he growled as he looked at her in disgust. She approached slowly as she reached for the phone in his hand. He turned to face me as he continued talking, “and tell her that my name is Derek, the less people know about us, the better. Isn’t that right, Princess?” I nodded my head as he smiled at me. It made me feel sick. I watched as he weaved around me and exited through the front door, leaving behind a tense atmosphere.

I leaned against the counter as I listened to my mom telling my aunt that we wouldn’t be there for this summer or any other summer. I was surprised at how well she feigned a stern voice, considering what had just happened. The last words I heard were ‘don’t call me, or contact me again, just stay away’ before she hung up.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered as I stared at my mom in fear.

“I don’t ever want my sister to see that or ever be involved in it, do you understand me?” She asked angrily. Her face was still cover in bright red blood, making my stomach churn. I nodded my head.  I knew that it was my fault and that she had a right to be angry but it still hurt. “I don’t want you to put your aunt in danger by contacting her, are we clear?” I nodded my head again as the tears rolled down my cheeks at the realisation of her words. “This is our mess, and I intend to keep it that way. For once in your life listen,” she growled before walking back up the stairs.