The Boyfriend List (5 page)

That got her attention. With wide, sad eyes, she touched his face, kissed him gently. He’d overstepped. He always did. His timing sucked.

“Oh, Nate. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Not possible.”
I’m falling in love with you.

“But it is possible. I suck at relationships and I don’t want to make a mess of things.”

Just as he was about to speak, Jenna laid a finger over his lips. “No. Let’s just enjoy this. Being here with you makes me happy, and I promise there will be no regrets, but I can’t risk more than that.”

Deep in her eyes, Nate saw sorrow and fear that no one should have to bear alone, but Jenna seemed determined to do so. He wondered who had hurt her, who had broken her spirit.

Because he wanted to kill him.

The sizzling heat had turned into a sensual warmth. Her kisses were slow and sweet and as Nate settled her into the plush pillows, he thought about her willingness to give up on love. How could a woman with so much love to give shut it out of her life?

He had his work cut out for him. Not only did he have to show Jenna that love was possible between them, but he had to convince her that she deserved it.

***

After three spectacular orgasms, Jenna was happy to be wrapped in Nate’s arms, eating cookies in bed. The sky outside her window was going from indigo to gray, letting her know the sun was not far behind. They’d stayed up all night making love and Jenna was going to miss this.

It wasn’t just that Nate was a skilled and intuitive lover, it was him. He was the best man she’d ever met, and with a nudge, she could fall for him hard. But she’d drawn the boundaries herself. No relationships. No risk. Her heart couldn’t handle it.

If only she’d met him first. If only.

“Jenna?”

“Huh? Oh sorry. What did you ask?” They were playing a kind of twenty questions game and they were just getting into the more personal questions.

“Are you tired? You barely slept at all.”

“Neither did you,” she reminded him.

“I guess I drifted off. I looked outside and saw that the sky is getting lighter.”

Silence settled and it was weird, because there hadn’t been a lull in the conversation all night. He was so easy to be with. Everything about Nate made her feel warm and protected. There was a chill across her back when he rolled away and got out of bed.

“Where are you going?”

“Just going to check my phone.” He strode across the room to where he’d left his clothes and pulled his phone from the inside pocket of his jacket. Jenna couldn’t help but admire him. He was gorgeous. Tall and fit, with defined but not bulky muscles, he was beautifully made. Examining him as an artist made her heart sing. She wanted to paint him or photograph him—he was that beautiful.

“Staring at anything in particular?”

The shock of cool air on her bare skin as she threw back the covers made her shiver. Getting out of bed, she went to him and when she laid her hands on his chest, Nate was the one who shivered.

“I love looking at you. Your body is a study in the male form. Everything, from your face, which is masculine but beautiful, to your body, which is strong and powerful without being intimidating.”

He looked away and Jenna realized she’d embarrassed him. So be it. This was as much academic as it was attraction. “But your legs. My God, the muscles in your thighs are breathtaking.”

“It’s the riding. I’m on a horse five days a week. Those muscles get a workout.”

“Really? I may need you to teach me how to ride just so I can get rid of this fat butt of mine.”

His expression went from amused to incredulous. “You’re not fat anywhere.”

“Oh, come on. My rear should have its own zip code.”

He spun her around so she faced away from him. “No. Every part of you is perfect. Just perfect.”

“Stop. My ass is too big. Why are you looking at it?”

He ran his hand over one of her cheeks and then pressed what seemed to be his ever present erection against her backside. “I love looking at it. I love looking at you.”

“Well, don’t look too long.”

The large armchair nearby made it easy for Nate to sit down and pull her onto his lap. He grabbed a soft throw that was draped on the back of the chair and wrapped it around them. “You need to stop this. Why do you think you’re anything less than stunning?”

“I don’t know. I’ve always battled my weight. It’s a sore spot. I don’t let on that it bothers me, but when you grow up in a house with sisters who could walk the runway and a brother who could have been on the cover of a romance novel, you get a little self-conscious.”

“That doesn’t make sense to me. I just see you, and since the moment I met you, I thought you were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. You have this light inside you, this amazing spirit that draws me in.”

This was one of those moments when a person realizes they are sitting with someone who is just too good. No one had ever talked to her like that; no man had ever seen the girl behind the eccentricities. “Don’t get me wrong, deep down, my family loves me. But they’ve never really understood me, and my choices have had people wondering where the hell I came from. I’ve always been different. They were all star athletes and I was the geeky artist.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being an artist. Or geeky, for that matter. I was the nerdy kid on the math team. I’ve done okay with it.”

She couldn’t help but chuckle.

“What’s so funny?”

“I suck at math. Like, it’s an abomination. When Kim, Joey, and I were thirteen, we made lists of the qualities we’d want in our perfect boyfriend. Mine included, ‘Must be good at math’.”

“See, I’m perfect for you.”

He did fit more than a few of the qualities she wanted in a man, as the girls had pointed out earlier. He was handsome, athletic, smart, and sweet. And while she knew it was the fantasy list of her thirteen-year-old self, Jenna indulged herself, just for a minute.

“You
are
a great kisser,” she said while stealing a quick one. “That was definitely on the list.”

“What else is on there? You have to tell me now.”

“Hmm. Good at sports. Does riding qualify?”

“Yes. I used to do competitive show jumping, but I play polo now. I also played ice hockey in school.”

“You play polo?”

“Yes. You’ll have to come watch me play sometime.” He stole another kiss.

Jenna drew a deep breath. The thought of him on a polo pony, racing around a field, those tight pants. Oh, jeez. She had to shut down her imagination and get back on track before they were planning their honeymoon. It was so easy to be swept away by him. Too easy.

“Hit me with another one,” he challenged her.

“How do you get along with your mom?”

“Famously.” He smiled like a champ. “You’d like her. I’ll introduce you at brunch. I should have done it last night, but they didn’t stay long; she wasn’t feeling well.”

“Oh, right, okay.”

Damn, that came out wrong and now she’d probably insulted him. Nate had been eager to meet her family and when he did, he was so polite and nice. They liked him.
Of course they did
. There was a lot to like.

“Jenna, I’m not trying to force anything. I’m just . . .”

“No, I’m sorry. I’d be pleased to meet your folks.” She’d be scared shitless, but she and Nate were friends. There was no harm in that. It wouldn’t mean anything. “Can I ask you a question?”

He nodded.

“What’s your full name?”

“Och.” He brought on his Scots brogue and continued. “Nathaniel James Bayard. Named after my granddads.”

“That’s quite a formal name. Very impressive.”

“What about you?” His hand was running up and down her spine.

She felt almost ridiculous. Her name was so ultra-feminine. So Italian. But what could she do? That’s who she was. Her parents were born in the United States, but her grandparents, on both sides, were immigrants. They loved their new country, but there was a strong connection to her Italian roots. “My real name is Giovanna Rosa Albanese. Jenna evolved from that.
I
was named after my grandmothers.”

“Really? That’s beautiful. Why don’t you use it?”

“I guess part of it was that I wanted to fit in. It’s very ethnic. The other part was that the name is a mouthful. When I was little and could barely say my own name, my sister Tina called me Jenna. It stuck. My parents, my nanny, and some aunts and uncles call me Gia.”

“Gia sounds exotic, mysterious.”

“Which I am not. I’m just plain Jenna. As ordinary and geeky as they come.”

“Ah, baby.” Nate’s strong arms moved and shifted her so she was no longer tucked into the cradle of his arms, but facing him instead. Each touch of his hand, each word he uttered, affected her. And she didn’t know if she could handle it. “Jenna, you are not ordinary. Not in any way. Look at me.”

When she focused on his face, on his eyes, she could see a very different life than the one she’d envisioned for herself before Nate. But could she trust these new feelings—feelings that swamped her like a tidal wave? So many times, her heart betrayed her, taking her away from things that really mattered, like her family and friends. It could very well be happening again. Nate was everything she’d pledged to avoid—handsome, rich, larger than life.

But he was kind—so very kind. She loved his kindness most of all.

Jenna felt his fingers take hold of her hips, raising her up. Not hesitating at all, she shifted her body, seeking him for warmth and comfort and love. Nate slipped inside her, so familiar, filling her perfectly.

“You’re beautiful. So beautiful. Be mine, Jenna?”

For a fleeting moment, Jenna thought about the future, about what life with Nate could be if she was truly his. It was a dream, a fantasy that courted perfection, just like her list. And just like a dream, Jenna knew her time with Nate would be over as soon as the sun came up, as soon as she was forced to leave the castle with the handsome prince and face her own life.

He should be friends with my friends.

—#2, Jenna’s Boyfriend List

“You have no idea how much I appreciate this, Jenna.” Harper pressed the code on the keypad to the cottage at the rear of her property and opened the door when it was all clear.

“I’m happy to do it,” Jenna replied. “It will be good to get out of my parents’ house for a while, especially with my sister moving home.”

“With Mama gone for six weeks on her cruise, I really need a hand with Anna. This baby in my belly is knocking me out.”

Harper and Kevin Rossi had been married for about eight months and they were expecting their newest bundle right around their first anniversary. Harper was just starting to show, and their two-year-old was giving them a run for their money. Being a working parent was hard enough, but being a working parent with a husband who played pro baseball and was away for a good part of the season was something else altogether. Especially with a toddler.

Personally, Jenna was glad for the distraction. Since Kim and Owen’s wedding a few weeks ago, she was getting a thousand and one questions from her family about Nate.
Had she seen him since the reception? Did he call? Was she interested?
She hadn’t seen him, he had called and she’d dodged it, and she was really interested, which meant he was a really bad idea.

The night they spent making love would be etched in Jenna’s memory forever. She’d never forget how connected they were, how she’d never felt as cared for as she did when she was with him. It was crazy, but Jenna knew that if they spent any more time together, she’d be head over heels in love with him. Hell, she was almost there. She couldn’t put herself through that again.

“Okay, so you know the space, you were here a lot when Kim lived here.”

Harper walked through the gorgeously appointed cottage and Jenna followed, admiring every piece of furniture and color choice. Whoever had designed the space did an amazing job. “It’s beautiful. And so peaceful.”

“It’s not going to be peaceful with a screaming two-year-old around.”

Jenna reached out for Anna, who was perched on her mother’s hip. “Stop it, she’s a darling. Come here, you sweet thing.” There was no hesitation from the baby, who gave Jenna a sound kiss on the mouth before breaking into a grin. “Jen-na,” Anna teased.

“Yes? Our names rhyme, did you hear that? Jen-na and An-na. They sound alike.”

Anna smiled and giggled, and that made the day just about perfect. That’s why she’d decided to teach school when she came back from the West Coast. It might not have a high-glamour factor, but there was high satisfaction, and that was all she really required. She wanted to be content—
needed
to be content—not necessarily happy. As she’d told Nate, happiness was overrated. Now for the summer, she could focus on a child; that was a whole lot better than feeling sorry for herself.

Harper took her through the cottage and Jenna remembered when Kim finally gave in and let herself be swept away by the handsome marine. She’d had to let go of Jenna’s brother, Tom, and all the anger that had bottled up inside her, but once she did, magic happened. And it couldn’t have happened to a better person.

“So,” Harper began, “how have you been since the wedding? Have you and Nate gotten together yet? He did ask you to dinner.”

Shit
. Harper was asking the same question her mom had been asking. This was not fair; she knew her friends and family meant well, but there had to be some end to the meddling. “No. I haven’t seen him. Is he doing well? He’s such a nice guy.”

So nice that he’d given her more orgasms in one night than she’d had in the past five years. Very nice.

Turning, Harper raised a perfectly groomed brow. “He’s a nice guy? Is that all you have? Because, honey, I saw you that morning at brunch. You had the sex glow. I know you were with Nate and I want to know why you’re lying.”

“Sex glow? What are you talking about?” Jenna put Anna on the floor and turned to her soon-to-be employer. “I did not have a sex glow. That’s not a thing.”

“It is
so
a thing. If you want, when we go back to the house, we can ask Kevin.”

“We will not ask your husband!” Jenna shrieked. “But still. I know it’s not a thing.”

Shrugging, Harper leveled a cool gaze at Jenna. “He should be here soon.”

“Who, Kevin? I thought he was home.”

“He is. Nate and Jason will be by to pick him up. They’re playing golf.”

Oh. No.

Nate. She’d been avoiding his phone calls for three weeks because she just couldn’t face him. Now she was going to have to see him whether she liked it or not.

“You look like you want to find a closet to hide in. Was the sex that good or that bad?”

“It wasn’t bad.” Jenna slapped a hand over her mouth. “Dammit.”

“I knew it! I could tell by the way you two were looking at each other the morning after the wedding.”

“I’m not talking about this, Harper.”

“Sure we are. That’s what girlfriends do. And since I’m his friend, as well, I’ll have to torture him about it.”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Jenna wondered why the fates were conspiring to make her life difficult. “Please don’t do that.”

The last thing she wanted was for Nate to think she’d gossiped about him. Now, he knew Harper and what she was capable of, so chances were he would know the teasing was coming directly from his friend and that Jenna hadn’t supplied any information. But still, it was embarrassing. And poor Nate was so sweet, it was easy to see him being uncomfortable.

Jenna had to hope her friend was teasing and really wouldn’t embarrass her or Nate for the sake of a laugh. She really hoped so.

Without any warning, Anna squealed and rushed to the side door of the cottage. The large French doors looked out over the garden, but Anna was looking at the house and it was only when Jenna walked over to the door that she could see Kevin leading Nate and Jason down to the cottage. What the hell?

“Should we go?”

Harper grinned. Damn, this was going to be awkward. “They’ll all want to see the baby.”

“Of course they do.”

Seconds later, through the door of the cottage came Jason, Kevin, and Nate, whose face dropped so close to the floor when he saw her, she was afraid she was going to have to tie his mouth shut.

There was a lot of noise, which indicated Kevin had entered the room, and he quickly scooped up the baby before kissing Harper on the cheek. For all her bluster, it was easy to see that the two of them were totally in love, and that made Jenna smile.

It didn’t take more than a second for Kevin and Jason to notice her and say hello. But it was Nate who had her attention. He stood with his hands stuffed in a pair of tan chinos and stared at her, just stared. He must have left six voice mails and she’d blown off every single one of them. He’d been nothing but wonderful, and she’d walked away like nothing had ever happened. Like she didn’t care.

Which was a total lie. She cared more than she should.

Folding her arms protectively across her midsection, Jenna approached Nate and wondered what she could possibly say to him. How she’d treated him was proof that she was a horrible person.

“Hi.” It was a start. She felt awful.

Considering he was, by his own admission, a little on the shy side, Jenna felt her pulse quicken when he didn’t look away. His gaze was steady, unwavering. He was annoyed and he wanted answers. Shy or not, this guy didn’t become a billionaire or wrangle high-strung horses because he lacked a backbone.

“How are you, Jenna?” His reply felt cold, formal.

“I owe you an apology, I—”

A gentle wave of his hand stopped her cold. “Let’s not do this here.”

Of course he didn’t want to talk about it. Why would he want to talk about being blown off by her in front of his friends? Jenna had never felt more disappointed in her own behavior in her life. It was shameful, especially considering how kind this entire group of people had been in welcoming her into the fold.

“Yes, of course.” Taking a deep breath with the hopes it would calm her down, she turned to Harper. “Harper, I’ll start bringing my things over tomorrow, okay?”

“Perfect. It will be nice having you here.”

“It was good seeing you all again.”

Jason and Kevin were looking between her and Nate. They knew something. She wasn’t sure what, exactly, but their reaction told her they were more in the know than they were letting on. Nate opened the French door to the patio, inviting her to leave.

Wonderful. He couldn’t wait to get rid of her.

“I’ll walk you to your car.”

***

The set of his jaw told her she obviously didn’t have a choice in the matter, so Jenna went through the open door and started walking. This was almost worse than talking about it in front of other people. If they were alone, he’d probably tell her what he actually thought of her.

She walked faster. Maybe if she got to the car quickly, she could escape. Yes, she was a coward.

It was no use. He had quickly caught up to her with that damned long stride of his, and grabbed her hand. “Jenna, stop running. Talk to me.”

Her skin prickled and warmed at his touch. Lord, what this man did to her—she had to run. She had to run to protect her heart. Did she tell him that?

No. Instead she stopped. Turned. And then tilted her face to Nate, who didn’t look angry, but confused. Sad and confused.

For someone who wanted to talk, Nate didn’t say anything for what felt like an eternity. He held her hands, pulled her in, and then without a word passing between them, he kissed her.

And Jenna didn’t fight it because she’d missed him so much.

The sweet pressure, the movement of his mouth, then his tongue across her lips made everything brighter, hotter. And that’s the way it was meant to be with Nate. They were like a pair of exploding stars, destined to consume each other. Jenna just didn’t know if she had it in her. But he felt so good. So good.

He broke the kiss and pressed his lips to her temple. Feeling his arms banded around her, she felt safe and Jenna burrowed into the warmth and security of his body. Yeah, she’d missed him a lot.

“Tomorrow night, I’m taking you out,” he said into her hair.

“I’ll be unpacking.” That was the truth. She was moving her things into the cottage, and while it was just a few boxes of personal belongings and her clothes, she still had to get her life for the next two months squared away.

“Fine. I’ll bring dinner. I’ll help you.”

“Nate, you don’t have to . . .”

There was no more arguing because Nate kissed her again and didn’t stop until he was holding her up against a tree. Like really holding her up. Her knees had stopped working.

“I want to skip my golf game and take you to bed.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “Jesus, Jenna. Why did you blow me off? I’ve been wondering what the hell I did wrong.”

“Nothing.” Her hand came to his face. “It was me, not you. And I know how stupid that sounds, but believe it. This is my problem. You’d be wise to run, not walk, away from me.”

“Not a chance.”

“I’m not worth it, Nate. You can do better.”

Pressing her head into his chest, he dropped a kiss on top of her head. “Don’t say that. Give us a chance, okay?”

“I—” Jenna was swamped by the emotions. Her mind was racing and her heart was out of control. “Please. Just say you’ll give it a shot.”

He was so damned irresistible. Everything about him made Jenna think about the future and what it could be like if Nate was a part of it. “Okay. I’ll try.”

“Good.” Then he held her. Just held her tight and after a while, she melted into the moment and stopped questioning the rightness of it. “I have to go,” he said quietly.

“Don’t want to miss your tee time?”

“No, I don’t want those idiots to come out here and embarrass you.”

Or he didn’t want to be seen with her.

“Stop it,” he said, his voice dropping.

“Stop what?”

“I don’t care who knows about us. I do care that those knuckleheads have the maturity level of eleven-year-old boys and will make every attempt to embarrass me and you.”

“Did you hear me think that or something? Wow.”

“What you’re thinking is generally all over your face.”

“I guess I’ll never be a mysterious temptress, then.”

“No, but it will be real between us, and trust me, you don’t need to be mysterious to tempt me.” He grinned and kissed her nose before stepping back. “I’ll come by about seven. Anything in particular you like? Or don’t like?”

“Um, I love Thai food.”

He chuckled. “You’d get along with Molly, Jason and Meg’s oldest. The first time I met her was about a year before they adopted her. We were at his house for a dinner meeting and were eating Thai. She jumped in like there was no tomorrow.”

“How old was she?” Little kids and Thai food didn’t always mix.

“Six, maybe?”

Jenna loved the story and loved how the friends were all a part of each other’s lives. Even the teasing was endearing, because it showed Jenna they cared enough to notice. She hoped Nate realized how lucky he was. But thinking about that, knowing he was a man who didn’t take the people around him for granted, there was no doubt about it.

***

Once Jenna was safely on her way, Nate went to find his friends who’d made their way back to the house. Kevin handed him a beer, but it was Harper who was giving him a look that was part curious, part ready to pounce. He pulled deeply on the bottle, letting the cold brew trickle down his throat. “What?”

“That was some kiss you gave her.”

“That is none of your business.”

“My house, my tree, my temporary nanny. That makes it my business.”

“Leave it alone, Harper.” Jason’s warning got her attention. “You know it never goes well when you butt in. We get mad, you get all pissy, and that’s never a good thing.”

“I don’t get pissy.” Folding her arms, she plopped next to her husband on the plush settee on their deck. “Do I get pissy?”

“Are you kidding? You’re the definition of pissy, and you’re pregnant. Let them handle it.”