The Boyfriend Project (13 page)

Where was a shark when I needed one?

Jeremy plowed his hands through his hair. I couldn't believe how sexy that action was. Apparently Jade and Melody thought so, too, because they each grabbed a leg and before I knew it, he was back in the pool.

“That's your guy, right?”

I turned at the deep, familiar voice and looked at Chase. “What are you doing here?”

“Jade told me about the party. Thought maybe she was into me, but looks like I got that wrong.”

“I think you got it right. She's probably just messing with Jeremy while waiting for you. You should let her know you're here.”

“Oh, she knows. She was spending time with me until lover boy over there showed up. Then it was time for a pitching change. She couldn't get to him fast enough.”

“Well, he's not going to stay with her.”

“You don't think?”

I glanced back at the pool in time to see him lift her up and toss her playfully away. Melody was climbing on his back like she thought he was going to give her a piggyback ride. “This is crazy.”

“Want me to chuck you in there so you can defend what's yours?” Chase asked.

I was wearing my favorite sandals. Besides I wasn't sure I'd come out ahead. The very notion of me getting into a brawl with them—of me having to defend what was mine—was ridiculous. “No.”

Jeremy dumped Melody off his shoulders, again swam to the edge of the pool. But this time when he hauled himself out, he didn't sit at the edge. He grabbed his bundled-up T-shirt and staggered away.

He looked around. I waved. He spotted me and wove toward me. “The world is spinning,” he slurred.

“I think you had too much to drink.”

“Not that much.” He took a deep breath, opened his eyes wide. Then he narrowed them at Chase. “Seen you at the shelter, but we haven't really met.”

“I'm Chase.”

“I'm Kendall's boyfriend.” He jabbed his finger into Chase's chest. “You need to remember that.”

“Maybe
you
need to remember that,” Chase said. “You were the one in the pool letting Jade climb all over you like you were a jungle gym.”

Looking confused, he shook his head. “I've seen you flirting with my girl. You'd better stop. 'Cuz you're not going to win.”

“Win what?”

“Anything.”

“Dude, you're not making any sense.”

“You just—”

“Hey, Jeremy,” Fletcher said, putting his arm around Jeremy as though he thought he might fall down without some support. “Think we need to go.”

“Yeah, man. Don't tell him.”

“I won't.”

Fletcher started to lead Jeremy away. I turned to Chase. “I'm so sorry.”

“No need to apologize to me for his actions. They're not your fault.”

But I sort of wondered if they were. “I'll see you at the shelter.”

“Count on it.”

I caught up with Avery and followed along as Fletcher supported Jeremy to the car.

“What happened to him?” Avery asked.

“I think he drank too much too fast. He had two beers and some alcoholic drink in about ten minutes.”

“He had a few beers before that,” Fletcher called back.

He unceremoniously dumped Jeremy into the backseat. I'd recently learned that Fletcher's dad got drunk a lot so I knew he didn't have a lot of tolerance for those who abused alcohol. Jeremy could not work the seat belt so I reached over and did it for him.

He gave me a really goofy grin. “You should have come into the pool.”

“I think there were enough people in the pool.”

“It was fun.”

My gut clenched. I didn't want him having fun with Jade. Or with Melody for that matter.

He didn't say anything else. By the time Fletcher pulled into my driveway, Jeremy was asleep.

Not exactly the way I'd planned for tonight to go.

“I'll take care of him,” Fletcher said.

“Thanks.” I said that to be polite, because at that moment, I really wasn't sure that I cared.

As I walked into the house, I wondered what had happened to the Jeremy I loved.

A little construction crew had taken up residence inside my head and was pounding sledgehammers against the front of my skull. I thought if I didn't move maybe they would go away. But they didn't. They just slammed harder.

Squinting, I cracked open my eyes. Faint morning light was easing between the slats and around the edge of the blinds at the windows. The room looked familiar but I couldn't quite place it. The idea that something was terribly wrong ratcheted through me. I shouldn't be here. It shouldn't be morning.

“Here, drink this.”

Shifting my gaze, I saw Fletch sitting in a chair near the bed, extending a glass of what looked to be tomato juice toward me. My stomach rebelled at the mention of drinking anything, and I thought I might hurl.

“No,” I croaked.

“It'll make you feel better.”

I started to shake my head and pain ricocheted through it. “What happened?”

“You got drunk, passed out on the way home, and I hauled you up here. Seriously, this will help.”

I rose up on an elbow, took the glass, and drank the most foul-tasting stuff I'd ever had in my mouth. I gagged.

“Drink it all, one big gulp. Hold your breath. Makes the going down easier.”

“What is it?”

“Something my old man would have me fix for him when he went on a bender.”

I held my breath and swallowed it down, then handed the empty glass back to him. “Do I want to know what's in it?”

“Probably not,” he said.

But I was beginning to feel a little better. My queasy stomach was settling. The construction crew in my head seemed to have gone on break, although I felt sluggish. Slowly I pushed myself into a sitting position and swung my legs over the side of the bed. Placing my elbows on my thighs, I buried my face in my hands. I realized I was wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt that were a little big on me. “Do I want to know everything that happened?”

“Probably not,” he repeated.

I peered at him through my spread fingers. “But you're going to tell me.”

“Do you remember being in the pool with Jade and Melody?”

I groaned. Yeah, I remembered that. I'd never been the kind of guy that girls went crazy about. Before we moved here, I was a bit of a geek. I'd studied in school, enjoyed playing with computers and video games. I hung out with guy friends. Didn't have girlfriends. Or many friends that were girls.

When we moved here, I met Kendall and Avery. I liked them. They let me hang out with them. I fell for Kendall. But having girls I barely knew giving me attention was insane. Talking to me, fine. Pushing me into the pool and wanting to get into some sort of water fight was nuts. Although if I were honest, I'd really liked the attention. I'd liked that maybe they thought I was funny or cute or interesting. Last night I'd actually thought that I might win that contest, that I might raise the most money for the shelter. That I would beat this Chase guy that was always hanging around Kendall.

Oh, crap. That Chase guy.

“Did I get into a fight with Chase?” I knew that I'd wanted to. I'd wanted to punch him. I didn't know what it was about him that irritated me so much.

“Nah, just poked him in the chest and told him you had
a secret weapon and were going to win. Didn't make a lot of sense, although I figured you were talking about the oil.”

“Ah, man.” I scrubbed my hands up and down my face.

“I've never seen you drunk like that. You didn't seem like yourself all night. What's going on with you?”

“I don't know. Some things that Kendall has said lately . . .” I shook my head. I was not going to tell him that I was feeling insecure in my relationship with her. She kept saying she wanted us to change, and it felt like we were. But the changes were taking us away from each other. “I take it these are your clothes.”

“Yeah, you came to as I was getting you up here. Somehow you managed to change into dry clothes, then you flopped on the bed and were out.”

“Thanks for giving me a place to crash.” I stood up. “Where are my clothes?”

“Drying in the bathroom.”

“I really appreciate this.”

“Not a problem.”

That was a lie. It was a huge problem. And I knew it.

After I changed back into my clothes, I thanked Fletch again and left. My car was waiting for me in the driveway. Climbing in, I knew I needed to get home, but I wanted to see Kendall first. I drove over to her house and rang her doorbell. When she answered, she looked tired and sad. I felt like a total jerk. “I'm sorry about last night.”

“Do you like her? Do you like Jade?”

“No! Not like that. She's fun, but that's all. She wanted me to get into the pool, but I told her no. She said I would before the night was over. So that's what all that was about. It didn't mean anything.” I shifted uncomfortably on the porch. “What about Chase?”

“He's just a guy I work with at the shelter.”

“But you spend so much time talking to him.”

“Because he's there, and he's interesting.”

“Thought you thought he was a tool.”

“At least he doesn't go around punching guys in the chest. What was wrong with you last night?”

I cringed. “I drank too much, too fast.”

“It seemed like it was more than that.”

“You wanted me to change.”

“Not into a jerk.”

I deserved that. I also knew things weren't right between us. That they hadn't been for a while.

“I wish I'd never asked you to do the gun show,” she said.

“It started before that. You were hinting that you wanted something different. You weren't happy with me the way I was.” Just like my parents. No matter what I did, it wasn't good enough for them. “I don't want to hurt you, Kendall, but I don't know who we are anymore.”

“I don't know, either, Jeremy.” She sounded sad,
resigned. I hated where this was going. But I also hated feeling like I couldn't do anything right. That nothing I did was enough. “I don't like that you're flirting with other girls.”

“I don't like that you're laughing with other guys.”

“Maybe we should take a break.”

The construction crew in my head moved to my chest and took a sledgehammer to my heart. I wanted to tell her that was a bad idea. But we weren't who we'd been at the beginning of summer. I didn't know who we were anymore. I nodded. “Yeah, I think you're right.”

“Okay then.” She backed up a step. Waited.

I waited, too, although I wasn't sure what we were waiting for. Finally she turned on her heel and went inside.

I headed for the car, wondering how what should have been the best summer of my life had turned into the worst.

I texted Avery:

Can U come over?

Avery:

BRT

I managed not to run into my mom before I got to my room. Avery joined me there a few minutes later, although by then my eyes were red and swollen, my nose stuffed, and a mountain of used tissues was piled on my bed.

“What happened?” she asked.

“We broke up,” I forced out in a nasally twang, finding it difficult to breathe.

“Oh, Kendall, no.” She crossed over to the bed, climbed onto it, and put her arms around me. Burying my head on her shoulder, I seemed only capable of nodding. “Because of last night?”

I nodded again, shrugged, and drew back. “Because of a lot of things. Like I told you. I asked him to change. And he did. He's never gotten drunk before. He
wanted
to get drunk. And he's never ignored me. He liked Jade and Melody pawing at him. I don't think he's ever had attention like that before. It kinda went to his head. I don't like that he liked it.”

She looked at her hands, like she was trying to make sure she still had all her fingers.

“What?” I asked.

She lifted her gaze to me. “You really seemed to like talking with Chase. Maybe Jeremy didn't like that, either.”

“Are you excusing his behavior?”

“No, I'm saying a relationship takes two. You were pushing him to change. Maybe he needed to feel accepted and Jade and Melody were all-too willing to provide that acceptance. I'm not saying it was right or what you did was wrong. But maybe there is a way for you to get back together if you really love him.”

I shook my head. “I don't know, Avery. In my head, I can't stop seeing him in the pool with them. I don't know who he is anymore.”

“Then maybe this is for the best.”

It wasn't. It was the worst. I hurt all over. It was a struggle to keep breathing. All I wanted to do was cry. I couldn't imagine my life without Jeremy.

It was awful not to get a single text from him all day. When I went to bed that night, I stared at my phone, willing a good-night text to appear. Just one word to give me hope that everything between us wasn't completely and absolutely over.

But the phone stayed quiet. All I heard were my sobs.

I didn't usually volunteer to work at the shelter on Monday. But Terri had asked me to come in around two to help her design the layout for the Bark in the Park event and figure out our volunteer needs. She appreciated my organizational abilities. Or at least that's what I told myself. I didn't want to admit that it was probably my need to control things that had her asking for my help. Once I knew what we wanted, I'd obsess about making sure everything ran as it should.

I was dreading going. I hadn't seen or heard from Jeremy since he left my house yesterday. With no word from him this morning, our breakup was seeming more real. But even so, I felt like a ton of bricks had landed on my chest and was crushing me when I saw him taking a break, sitting under
our
tree, talking with Jade. Although mostly she was doing the talking. He was nodding and grinning. Grinning, like he was enjoying being with her.

It was our tree!

Hoping they didn't see me, I hurried into the shelter.
Chase was standing behind the counter, watching a couple filling out some paperwork. The woman was holding a miniature poodle.

Chase smiled. “Hey. Terri's waiting for you in her office.”

“Thanks.” I started to walk on but he crooked his finger and urged me nearer. The couple was occupied, so I eased up to the counter.

“I saw Jade out at the construction site earlier. Everything okay after the other night?” he asked.

I just shook my head.

He gave me a sympathetic look, which made me feel like a total loser. So I forced on a brave smile before heading to Terri's office. The door was open. She looked up when I walked in. She smiled. “Hi!” Then she sobered. “You okay?”

I shook off my morose musings, hated that I was so easy to read. “Oh, yeah. So what have we got?”

“Pull up a chair and I'll show you.”

On her computer was a layout of the park. “We'll make use of this area here, along the main path through the park. Set up various stations. We'll figure out what we want at the stations, how many people we'll need to man each, who should manage each.”

I pointed to the entrance to the park. “We should probably set up the adoption station there.”

“That's what I was thinking. I'll be there all day. I was hoping you'd take the morning shift when we'll have more dogs on hand. You have a real talent for keeping them calm and showing them off.”

I felt myself blush. “Thanks. I love helping them find their forever homes. Of course I'll work the morning shift.”

“Great. Where do you think we should put the gun show?”

A couple of days ago, I would have said that I wanted it across from us so I'd be near Jeremy, so I could watch him. “Farther up the trail, I think. So they don't distract from the adoption.”

She grinned. “Yeah, the way Jade has been talking about it, I have a feeling she is definitely going to make sure they're noticed.”

“Jade?” I echoed.

“She asked to be in charge of that station.”

Of course she did.

I commented halfheartedly as we discussed where to set up watering stations for the dogs, refreshment areas for the adults, face painting, a magician, and other entertainments for the kids. I loved this event, but I kept picturing Jeremy with Jade.

It was nearly two hours before Terri and I were finished. We had our layout, our volunteer needs mapped out. We created a sign-up sheet for the volunteers.

I went to pin it on the bulletin board in the small break room, crossing my fingers that Jade would not be there. Thankfully the place was empty except for Darla, who was sitting at a table, feet propped on a chair while she read.

She lowered the book, looked at me. “What's that?”

“Sign-up sheet for Bark in the Park.”

“Awesome.” She got up, wandered over, took a pen from a nearby desk, and signed up for setup and a shift at the gun show. “So who do you think is going to win?”

Forty-eight hours ago, I would have said Jeremy. “Chase, of course.” Maybe Fletcher.

“You're not a very loyal girlfriend.”

“I'm not a girlfriend anymore.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Not your fault.”

I walked into the hallway and nearly rammed into Chase. I released a self-conscious laugh. “Sorry.”

“That's okay,” he said. “I've got no problem with a cute girl running into me.”

“I'm not feeling very cute today.”

“Did you and your boyfriend break up?”

Tears flooded my eyes. Stung. I hated feeling so weak. Roughly I swiped them away. “Yeah. But I'm okay.”

“No, you're not.”

Sniffing, I shook my head. “But I will be.”

“I've had some breakups. They're a bitch. I'm here if you need me.”

I was touched, but I also knew that at that moment he wasn't what I needed. “Thanks.”

“When you're ready, maybe we can go out.”

I didn't know what to say to that. “Maybe.”

When I got outside, no one was sitting under the tree any longer. I didn't see Jade anywhere. Jeremy was on the roof, helping to put shingles in place. His blond head was bent; he was focused on the task.

Part of me wanted him to see me, part of me didn't.

I turned on my heel, headed for my car, and pulled out my cell phone. I sent a text to Avery.

Got time for ice cream?

I Scream was one of our favorite hangouts. Avery and I had some of our most important discussions over an assortment of flavors, toppings, whipped cream, and cherries. I poked at my banana split while she dug into her sundae.

“I think Jeremy is with Jade,” I blurted.

She stilled, her eyes wide. Slowly she pulled the spoon from her mouth. “That's crazy! You only just broke up yesterday. Why would you think that?”

“I saw him talking with her this morning.”

Her brow furrowed. “Where?”

“The shelter. I had to go in to help plan the fund-raiser.
Neither of them knew I was going to be in. They were sitting together under a tree.”

“Did they see you?”

I shook my head. “No.”

She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “Oh, Kendall, I'm so sorry. I know this has to hurt.”

I shook my head. “I can hardly breathe.”

“I can't believe he'd be interested in her.”

“You're just saying that because you're my bestie. But Jade is fun, exciting, uninhibited. She doesn't care about saltshakers.”

She released a small burst of laughter. “What does that mean?”

“I require order, lists, plans. At the beach? I straightened up the displays when we went to the souvenir shop. Jeremy understood my need for control. Jade is spontaneous. Without any planning, she pushed Jeremy into the pool. I'd check the labels on his clothes first to make sure the chlorine wouldn't bleach them out.”

“You're not that bad.”

“You're tolerant because you love me.” Jeremy had as well and I'd blown it. “But I wanted us to change, to be different. He changed. I didn't.”

“I really think you're being too hard on yourself.”

Maybe, maybe not. I ate some whipped cream. It had no taste. Suddenly nothing had any taste. “I don't know if
I can keep volunteering at the shelter. It hurts so much to see him, and I want to lock Jade in one of the pens.”

“You can't let them stop you from doing something you love.”

“You're right. I know that. And I don't want to give up on the Bark in the Park fund-raiser. This could be our best year.” I dug my spoon into my ice cream. “It's funny. I think Jeremy actually stands a good chance of winning.”

She grinned. “No way. Fletcher has this hands down.”

I wished I could hate Jeremy. I wished I could root for Fletcher. But the truth was, I hoped Jeremy would win, because then maybe I wouldn't feel so badly that it had cost us so much.