The Boyfriend Project (14 page)

“. . . forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty.” As I called out the final number, did the last crunch, I flopped back, breathing heavily. Beside me, Fletch did the same.

It was Thursday, and we were in his apartment getting in our daily reps. I was astonished to discover that when I looked in a mirror, I could see a definition to my abs that hadn't been there before. I should have been pleased. Instead, I wasn't sure I was going to go through with this gun show.

I wished I hadn't quit my dad's law firm. Wished I hadn't started working construction. Wished I didn't have to watch Kendall with Chase on the days she volunteered at the shelter. They laughed and talked while letting the dogs out.

Jade would visit with me on her breaks. She was nice
enough. But she wasn't Kendall.

“Don't suppose Avery's mentioned how Kendall's doing,” I said when my breathing slowed. It had been only a few days, but it seemed an eternity since she and I had been together.

“It's tough but she's hanging in there.”

I knew Fletch wasn't the type to ask how I was doing. I wouldn't have answered anyway, because the truth was that I didn't know. Mostly I was numb. I stared at the ceiling. “Jade asked me to go to some party with her Saturday. Probably going to do it.”

“You like her?”

“She's fun.” I could use some fun. And she seemed to accept me as I was. She wasn't making subtle suggestions that I should change things about myself. “It'll be weird, though.”

“How so?”

Sitting up, I grabbed a bottle of water, unscrewed the cap, and gulped down a good portion of the contents before recapping it. “I've only ever dated Kendall.” I looked over at him. “I'm actually a little nervous. You dated a bunch of girls. Any tips?”

He shoved himself up. “Didn't really date before Avery. Just hung out with a lot of girls. How'd you start dating Kendall?”

I released a strangled laugh. “It just happened naturally.
We were friends, palled around. One night we were going to a movie, Avery was sick, so it was just Kendall and me. During the movie, she laughed at something. I can't even remember what it was now. I just remember looking over at her and knowing there was nothing I wanted to do more than kiss her at that moment. I've always loved her laugh. Now she shares it with Chase. I really want to beat that guy, but maybe I should just withdraw from the whole stupid thing.”

“Because you think you'll lose?”

“No, because it's important to Kendall. I know she'll be at the event, taking care of things. I don't want my being there to make it hard for her. On the other hand, if I bring in some money for the shelter that would make her happy.” I scrubbed my hands up and down my face. “I know it's crazy. We're not together, but I still want to make her happy.”

“What about Jade?”

“I like her.”

He got to his feet. “Avery would probably kill me if she knew I said this, but you should go out with Jade. That way you'll know.”

I furrowed my brow. “Know what?”

“How you really feel about Kendall when you have options.”

“I always had options. I didn't fall for Kendall because she was the only girl in town. That's insulting to her.”

“Chill. I didn't mean—”

A knock at the door had us both looking at each other guiltily. Our workout sessions were our secret.

Another knock. “Fletcher?”

It was Avery.

“Just a minute,” Fletch called out, then he arched a brow at me. “She's going to get suspicious if I don't let her in, and while I don't think she'd jump to the conclusion that I have a girl in here, don't take this wrong, but this little thing we're doing isn't worth upsetting her.”

“Let her in,” I said in resignation. It was going to be the first time I'd seen her since Kendall and I broke up Sunday. It was not going to be fun.

Fletch opened the door. Avery flung her arms around him, then quickly backed up. “Ew! You're all sweaty.”

“Been working out. Come on in.”

She stepped inside and her gaze fell on me. I shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “Hey, Avery.”

“You're working out, too.” She said it as a fact not a question.

“Yeah.”

She angled her chin. “For Jade?”

“No! For the gun show.”

“I'm sorry,” she said. “I was being snarky.”

“I understand,” I told her. “You're Kendall's best friend.”

“But I'm also your friend.” She came nearer. “How are you doing?”

I shrugged. “Mostly confused, feeling a little lost, but hanging in there. How's Kendall?”

“About the same as you.” She leaned her hips against the back of the couch, crossed her arms over her chest. “I can't believe you guys broke up.”

“Something happened. We weren't happy.”

“Are you happy now?”

Not even the tiniest bit, but neither was I feeling pressure to meet someone else's expectations.

“Anyone want a root beer?” Fletch asked into the uncomfortable silence that was stretching between us.

“No, thanks. I need to go.”

“I'm really sorry, Jeremy,” Avery said quietly.

“Yeah, me too.”

But at the same time, I knew Fletch was right. I hadn't fallen for Kendall because she was the only option. I'd fallen for her because of who she was, how she was. But that didn't mean that she was the only one I could ever love.

Taking you someplace fun. Think steampunk.

I read once more the text I'd gotten from Chase an hour ago. After a few days of watching Jeremy and Jade taking their breaks together, I had agreed to go out with Chase.

But I wasn't sure what his text meant. I knew what steampunk was, had read a couple of books that Jeremy had recommended. I knew he loved the genre. But I still couldn't quite decipher why I was supposed to think about it. I'd tried calling Chase and gotten his voice mail.

Standing in my bedroom, I studied my reflection. I looked like someone about to have some fun. I was wearing a short red skirt, a lacy, white, layered top, and platform heels. Maybe we were going to a movie, although I didn't know of one out right now with a steampunk theme. Slipping my phone into my skirt pocket, I headed downstairs.

Mom was sitting on the couch watching TV, Bogart's head in her lap. I petted his head.

“This is weird,” I told her. “Going out with someone who isn't Jeremy.”

She gave me a lopsided smile, like she wanted to be happy for me but was sad as well. “I know it's hard, but it's good that you're not wallowing, that you have a chance to get out and have some fun. And Chase doesn't have to be the one forever. It's all right if he's just the one for now, for tonight.”

“Is that what you think when you go on a date?” I asked. I was beginning to understand why my mom had waited so long to date after Dad died. It was like I was really saying good-bye to Jeremy, to what I'd had with him.

“I tell myself that it's okay to have fun. Took me a while to get to a point where I didn't feel guilty about wanting to live my life again. But my situation is a little different from yours. If there are no sparks on the date, that's fine. I try to find the enjoyment in just going out and doing things with someone else. He doesn't have to profess his undying love.”

“I like Chase,” I told her. “But I'm not totally crazy about him like I was with Jeremy.”

“You can't compare them. But you might also be surprised. Sometimes the sparks start slow.”

How did I not do that—compare them? I wished I knew. Especially since comparing Jeremy to other guys was what
had started all our problems. If I hadn't become restless, bored with the summer, maybe I wouldn't have lost him.

“You don't compare these guys you're dating to Dad?” I asked.

She slowly shook her head. “There will never be another guy like your dad. I have to consider these guys in light of who
they are
. I know what I need to be happy.”

I almost confessed about the ways I'd prodded Jeremy into changing. If I'd just left well enough alone . . .

“Think about all the different dogs you fall in love with at the shelter,” Mom continued. “None of them are the same, and yet you find things about each of them to love. Some you might have a stronger connection to—like Bogart. But you can still love a dog that isn't like Bogart.”

I shifted uncomfortably trying to understand all the implications of what she was saying. I could love a man who wasn't my dad. I could love another dog. I could love a guy who wasn't Jeremy.

The doorbell rang, and my heart gave a little thud. “That'll be Chase.”

Mom followed me to the foyer, Bogart trotting along behind us. I opened the door and froze.

It was Chase. Although it wasn't. He was wearing a vest over a buttoned shirt, with some sort of cloth wrapped around his neck, and a dark brown coat that was more like a duster that cowboys wore. Goggles were perched
around a top hat on his head.

With a wide grin, he gave me an appreciative once-over. “You look great.”

I released a little self-conscious laugh. “I'm not in costume.”

“I've got some stuff in the trunk you can borrow if you want, but it's totally not necessary.” He crouched down and took Bogart's face between his hands. “Hey, fella.”

I shouldn't have been surprised. I'd seen him with other dogs, knew how much he liked them. He looked up and past me. Then stood. “Mrs. Jones, I presume.”

I felt myself flush. I didn't know why I was so nervous. Maybe because this was not only my first date since Jeremy and I broke up, but my first date with someone who my mom didn't already know, someone who hadn't hung around in my house before. “I'm sorry. Mom, this is Chase.”

“It's nice to meet you,” she said as though she meant it, although she was probably wondering what her daughter was getting into. “Are you off to a costume ball?”

“In a way. It's an annual get-together for those of us who appreciate steampunk. It's a lot of fun, pretty different.”

My first thought was that I needed to call Jeremy and tell him about it. He would love this. He loved steampunk. Then I shoved that thought down because I could not think
about him tonight. We were no longer together.

“Sounds interesting,” Mom said. She leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “I want to hear all about it when you get home.”

“Count on it.”

Then she was ushering Chase and me out the door. When we reached Chase's car, I couldn't help but notice that it had a sizeable backseat, although I couldn't imagine myself back there taking advantage of it. He opened the trunk and produced a pair of goggles similar to his. “You can just drape these around your neck.”

Feeling silly, I did. “I'm not really dressed for this.”

“I didn't figure you had a Victorian dress lying around,” he said, “but my mom is always attending fund-raising teas, so I borrowed one of her hats.”

It looked a little like a short, red top hat. It had netting surrounding it that ended in a bow on one side. I settled it on my head.

“Fantastic,” Chase said. “And really a lot of people won't be dressed up, so you'll be fine. Let's go.”

He slammed the trunk shut and went around to his side of the car, slipped behind the wheel. I wandered to the passenger side as he started the car. He didn't open the door for me, but a lot of guys didn't do that anymore.
Don't compare. Don't compare.
I had a feeling that was going to be my mantra for the night.

Getting into the car, I bumped the hat on the roof and ended up taking it off and placing it on my lap.

With a screech of tires, Chase peeled out and I grabbed onto the edge of the seat. I was never going to complain about Jeremy's cautious driving again. I slammed my eyes closed. Of course I wasn't because I wasn't going to be driving with him again. Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes.

“So where is this all happening?” I asked.

“Warehouse district.” That was an old part of town where they had converted some of the warehouses into bars, shops, and entertainment venues.

I tried to think of something to talk about. “Okay, just so I don't come off as a fool, tell me how you know something is steampunk.”

“It's just a world where everything is steam driven. There are even some stories with steam-driven computers. The costuming is usually Victorian, but it can be anything really.”

“Well, in my steampunk world, it's obviously a short skirt and a lacy top.”

He glanced over. “You look cute.”

It took us a while to find a parking place. The warehouse district was hopping on Saturday night. When Chase parked, he got out of the car and waited on his side. Didn't come open my door. As I got out, I could see him
fairly bouncing on the balls of his feet. This wasn't how I ever would have thought about spending my Saturday night, but he was excited about it. I was determined to be a good sport and not ruin his fun.

Besides I might have a blast.

We walked along the crowded street until we reached the designated warehouse. People dressed in assorted costumes, many of them with goggles, which seemed to be a staple for steampunk, were mingling around outside. Chase took my hand and a little shock of awareness went through me. It was only a hand, but it felt different, it was different. It wasn't Jeremy's. Chase led us through the crush of people to the door where he handed over some money for entrance. The backs of our hands were stamped and inside we went.

It was wildness!

As Chase took my hand again and we wended our way through the crowd, I felt a little out of place with my makeshift costume because obviously most of the people here took their costumes seriously. Some were really elaborate. One guy was dressed in something that looked like a metal skeletal frame. The room was dimly lit, smoke and fog swirling around. Music was blasting. Mechanical gadgets were displayed on various tables.

“Here we go,” Chase said, and he led me farther into the alternative world.

I saw Darla, Tommy Simms, and a couple of other guys from the construction site sitting at the top of a U-shaped couch, a short table in front of them. Darla was wearing a flowing skirt, hiked up on one side, and a wide leather belt with some sort of metallic hooks joining it together. Tommy, Nathaniel, and Ethan only had goggles dangling around their necks. So not everyone was into dressing up elaborately.

Chase sat on the side perpendicular to them and tugged me down beside him, and I suddenly found myself facing Jeremy. I hadn't even recognized him. He was wearing what looked like a safari hat with goggles perched on it. He looked as uncomfortable as I felt. Nestled up against his side was Jade.

“I'm so glad you came,” she said, but it was obvious she was talking to Chase instead of me. She wore tight leather shorts and a corseted top. It looked so snug that I didn't know how she could breathe. Her leather boots laced up past her knees. Goggles dangled from her neck. She wore a hat similar to mine but somehow it was more provocative, sexy, maybe because she was comfortable in it, or maybe because she had it at a rakish angle.

From her fingers, she dangled two yellow wristbands. “You have to be wearing one of these to buy alcohol. It means they carded you. I stole a couple from the bartender.” More than a couple, because she was wearing
one. So was Jeremy. It seemed so unlike him. We drank at private parties, but we'd never done anything in public. Of course just because we were wearing the wristbands didn't mean we had to buy or drink.

Without hesitation, Chase held out his arm. Reaching across the table, she wound one around his wrist and secured it. Then she arched a brow at me.

I didn't want to be seen as a spoilsport. So I stuck out my arm, and Jade attached a condemning wristband.

“Cute outfit,” she said, although her tone was more mocking than complimentary.

Still, I said, “Thanks.”

She settled back onto the sofa, so close to Jeremy that light couldn't have seeped between their bodies. I wanted to pretend that I was cool with this, seeing them together, even though it was killing me. “I had no idea this went on,” I admitted.

“Yeah, it's an annual thing,” Jade said. “Last summer was my first time to come. I love it. People who are into steampunk are so cool. Even if you aren't into it, it can still be fun, especially if we drink up.” She stood and crooked a finger at Chase. “Come on. Your turn to buy.”

“You okay with me going?” Chase asked.

Not really, no.
She'd already stolen one guy from me. But again, I wanted to be cool. “Sure.”

Getting up, he followed her into the dark world of
automatons. I felt really awkward, wished I wasn't here. I couldn't believe Chase had brought me. Had he wanted me to see Jeremy with Jade? Had he wanted to show Jeremy that I was on a date with him? Was he trying to make me face reality? In one way it seemed cruel and yet in another way, he'd given me the chance to prove to Jeremy that I was over him. Or at least pretend I was. The awkwardness thickened. I had to do something.

But before I could think of anything, Jeremy leaned forward. “How's Bogart?”

He couldn't have asked anything that would put me more at ease, that would make me stop thinking about the strangeness of sitting here with him when I was no longer
with
him. “Good. I still walk him every night.” Alone. But that was okay. “Although I've had to shorten the distance. Sometimes it's a struggle for him to make it too far. I think it's because of the heat.” Or at least that's what I told myself.

“Your mom still dating Mr. Morris?”

Even though tomorrow would mark a week since our split, he was asking questions like we hadn't seen each other in years. Was this what it would be like when we ran into each other in the dorm? We'd been so close and now we were practically strangers. “They had a date last night.” Mr. Morris had picked my mom up at the house. I wanted to tell Jeremy how odd but how right it had seemed to see
them together. But my feelings were too personal, a part of myself that I couldn't share with him anymore. At that moment, all that we'd lost hit me harder than it had before.

Over Jeremy's shoulder, I saw Chase returning. He was holding a tray of drinks. Jade followed along behind him, sipping a pink concoction. She slid onto the sofa and snuggled against Jeremy. Setting the tray on the table, Chase sat beside me and grabbed one of the drinks. It was in a cocktail glass and it looked like fog was rising from its surface. He handed it to me. I took a sip. It was very strawberry but I recognized the kick of something stronger.

“How do they make the fog?” I asked.

“Dry ice,” Chase explained.

“Aren't you going to try one?”

“No, I'll stick with club soda since I'm driving.”

Everyone else had helped themselves to a glass. Jeremy downed his as though it were water. I guessed he hadn't suffered too much after Scooter's party.

“Who's your designated driver?” I asked him.

He set the empty glass aside. “I'll be fine by the time we leave.”

“You're fine right now,” Jade said with a stupid wiggling of her shoulders. Standing, she took Jeremy's hand and pulled him to his feet. “Let's dance.”