The Breaker's Resolution: (YA Paranormal Romance) (Fixed Points Book 4) (16 page)

“I’ve heard it before, but it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing you could show me, Wendy. There’s nothing you could say that would ever-”

“Quiet,” she said softly. Then, blinking hard, she moved toward me. If I could have shuddered, I probably would have as she arched onto the tips of her toes and leaned into me.

“There-There’s no-The-“

Now my words weren’t working either. Damn this girl.

“I said quiet. You need to listen.”

She leaned in, pursed her lips against my ear. My eyes went wide. My blood pulled to a stop in my veins, and tears pooled  in my eyes- eyes that Cresta had always loved so much.

And it was all because I was wrong. So very wrong.

Wendy had said something to me.

And it changed everything.

When I woke from my daze, the sun had set behind the Great Wall. It had been hours, at least. Hours, and not one person had come looking for me. I was still right here, flat on my back in the heart of the Meditation Grotto.

The air was cool as I sat up and my back was wet with dew. But that was the least of my concerns. Wendy’s words ran in my head, slamming against my brain like a battering ram.

It wasn’t a dream, I knew that. Dreams were hazy. Dreams were vague and incoherent. What I had just experienced, the words that Wendy had whispered into my ear, were as clear as anything in the world. I could hear it all; the warnings, the promises- even the tone. I could also remember her telling me never to tell anyone what I knew now and that, if I did, it would change everything.

I hadn’t been sure what Luca’s goal was in sending me to Wendy, but after she told me what she told me, it all became clear. He wanted to guide me, convince me to do what I had to, what Fate demanded of me.

And, though before I fell on this damp earth, that idea seemed beyond ludicrous, the truth was, it had actually worked.

Before today, the Council would have had to drag me out of this place kicking and screaming if they wanted me to come up against Cresta. But now, I was seeing things differently. Now I would play along.

I stood up, rubbing rest from my sore eyes and thinking about everything. Now that I knew what to do, I needed to see her. I needed to find Cresta and fulfill my destiny. She would hate me. They would all likely hate me. But it had to be done, and I was finally ready to do it. No apologies, but plenty of regrets.

I marched back toward the hospital, taking a left and heading to the room where Merrin had been resting.

After finding the bed empty, I learned she had been discharged. Grabbing a coat from the communal registry, finally left that Fate forsaken place. Cresta wasn’t the only person Wendy mentioned in her diatribe. I had other things to do too. And to get them done, I needed to find my wife.

After weeks of marriage, Owen Lightfoot was finally coming home.

*******

I pushed through the door of my house, ready to find a team of medics surrounding Merrin, ready to deal with her condition.

It seemed strange to think of this as
my
house, or even to consider the fact that I had a house of my own at all. While it was true that I was years late on marrying Merrin, a part of me still felt like a kid playing dress up. Add to the fact that I had never in my entire life sat foot in this place, and it added to the sense of displacement.

The place was eerily quiet when I walked in, and that made me uneasy. I walked through the living room, a quaint area filled with black furniture (the Breaker color of commitment) and white carpet. It didn’t surprise me that the space was sparse. As a newly joined couple, we were given the bare minimum in terms of material goods. We were meant to earn those with our commitment to both each other and to the cause. It seemed our statuses as ‘Dragon’ and ‘Bride of the Dragon’ respectively did nothing to change that fact.

A dark idea crept into my mind. This place was so quiet. Certainly, if Merrin was here, there’d be someone with her. She was far too weak to carry on by herself. What if she hadn’t made it? What if I was too late and she had died while I was busy licking my emotional wounds or untangling Wendy’s cryptic riddles?

No. Wendy would have told me that. After what she said to me back in that desolate place, certainly she’d have let me know if my wife was dead.

This was
my
house. Merrin was
my
wife. Would I ever get used to that? Did I even want to?

My heart sped up as I realized just how reasonable my fears were. She had been so sick, and I was so damn stubborn. What If she
was
dead? What if it was my fault? What if I never got to make it right?

“Merrin,” I called. My voice came out hurried and worriedly. “Merrin.” I repeated louder, but there was no answer. “Merrin!”

“What?”

Her voice sang through the air like a pardon. I spun to find her standing at the top of the stairs. She was dressed for bed in a long white gown that got sheerer the further down it went. I felt the strength that came with being near her. Why hadn’t I felt that before? Why hadn’t I let myself?

“You look…you look good,” I said, my eyes trailing her. And she did. Which didn’t surprise me because, after all, she
was
Merrin. The girl knew how to make just about anything look amazing. What surprised me, what really had me taken aback, was how healthy she looked.

Her skin was bright. Her eyes were light and easy. The smile that graced her face spoke of life, not death. Like her Breaker name would lead one to believe, Merrin was glowing.

“What happened? I thought you were…” I couldn’t finish.

Luckily, she did it for me. “Dying?” She asked. “I am. We both are. The Council gave me a mixture of herbs and elements to deal with the symptoms and help with my energy. That’s what you’re seeing.”

I started up the stairs toward her.

“It won’t stop what’s happening though. It’ll come back, and soon the herbs won’t be able to help. It’ll happen to me first, and then you. The only way to stop it is-”

“Stop talking,” I said, smiling and looking at her. It had been so long since I just looked at her without putting the weight of all that had happened on her shoulders.

Fate’s hand, she was beautiful. And she was mine.

I swallowed hard before continuing.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, narrowing her eyes. She was either reading my expression or gauging my feelings in her own mind.

Thank you, symbioses.

“Nothing,” I assured her. “Nothing beyond the routine. It’s just…” I took her hand in mine, which caused her already narrowed eyes to nearly shut completely. “I saw Wendy today.”

“Wendy the seer?” She was already shaking her head.

“Yeah,” I answered.

“Wendy the dead seer?”

“There are a lot of different ways to die,” I said, mimicking what she told me. Well,
part
of what she told me. “It doesn’t matter. The point is, we talked a lot, and she opened my eyes about some things.”

“Is this when you were unconscious?” Merrin asked me.

“Which time?” I retorted.

She rolled her eyes.

“Listen to me!” I exclaimed, squeezing her hand tightly. “I have a lot of stuff running around in my head and I want to make sure I say it just right.”

“You’re serious?” She asked, probably reaching into my mind and feeling only truth inside it.

“I feel like I’ve been asleep, Merrin. I feel like I’ve been asleep for a long time and I’m finally waking up.” I grinned wide, like the idiot I was. “I don’t really know how to explain it other than to say that I’m ready. I’m finally ready to do what I have to.”

“What you
have to
?” She repeated, crinkling her nose, untangling her hand from mine, and walking down the stairs. “And I suppose I’m one of the things you have to do? How very romantic of you.”

I sighed hard. I was stupid about this. Of course I was. I’d had exactly one girlfriend in my life, and she was the only one I ever wanted. It made sense that I wasn’t a Casanova. Still, I could do better than this. All I had to do was speak the truth.

I darted in front of her, stopping her halfway down the steps.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” I said. “But I’m sorry nonetheless.” I stared at her hard, hoping those eyes that Cresta was always talking about would do more than I could to prove my point. “I’ve known you since we were younglings. Not once have you let me down. Not once have you made me feel like I was less than the most important person in your life. And if I’ve ever done that to you, then I’m truly sorry.”

She looked at me for a long time, searching my eyes, searching my mind. “You really are serious,” she muttered. She couldn’t believe it. I could tell from the waves of emotion coming off of her.

“Of course I’m serious,” I answered, my voice breaking a little at the end.

“I appreciate that,” she said, her eyes flickering down to the floor. “But it doesn’t matter, Owen. You love her. Even now, I can feel it.”

“So?” I asked, my brows raised.

“So?” She was incredulous. “Did you really just say that?”

My eyes darted back and forth. I really
was
bad at this. “I didn’t think that mattered with us,” I murmured.

“Well, maybe it does,” she admitted, blinking hard.

“You’re my perfect. You always have been. When has love ever mattered?”

“When I saw the way you looked at her!” She balked. She darted around me, descending the stairs and settling in the living room of our new home. “I lived in her head and I watched you watch her. You’ve never looked at me like that. Fate’s name, I’ve never seen anyone look at another person like that. You could never love me that way.”

“Maybe I’m not supposed to,” I answered. I moved toward her now. She faced away from me and I was pretty sure she was crying, given the emotions I was picking up from her. “I know things haven’t gone easily for us, Merrin. I know that we’ve had our share of roadblocks and detours and whatever other sort of street based metaphor I can use to describe all the ways we’ve been screwed.”

“Red lights,” she suggested without turning around.

“Right,” I smiled, but didn’t move to touch her. “But here’s something I know for sure. When the rest of our world told you to give up on me, you didn’t. When everyone in your life said that I was a traitor and a lost cause, and you should just cut your losses and move on, you believed in me. Even now, even after everything you know, everything we’ve been through, you still believe in me. And don’t say it’s not true, because I can feel it in you, damnit. And that mean something, Merrin. It just has to.”

“But you still love her.” She said flatly.

“I do,” I admitted.

“And soon you’ll be face to face with her. The Council will see to that.” She turned to me. Her eyes were red. I knew I was right. Her hand graced my cheek and a somber smile spread across her face. “Do you really want to complicate things for yourself?”

“No,” I shook my head. “That’s what I’m trying to do. Look at how complicated everything already is, Merrin. We can’t even tell who the good guys are anymore. Fate knows I can’t. My brother is effectively gone. My mother has turned on me, and the person I hate most in the world is now one of Fate’s most powerful servants. I can’t trust anyone.” I swallowed hard again. “Anyone but you.”

“Owen…”

“No, just please let me finish. Wendy told me things when I was unconscious, and it made things very clear to me. I’ve been running for so long. Even trapped here, I’ve been running from what I knew was coming. And I was wrong.”

“What are you saying?” She asked, pulling away from me a little. “That you’re ready to kill Cresta?”

“I’m saying this doesn’t have anything to do with Cresta. You’ve been with me my entire life, and I want you to be with me now. Can you look inside of me right now, Merrin? Can you tell that what I’m saying is the truth?”

“I think…I think I can,” she said softly.

“Good, because I want you to know that what I’m doing know I do because I want to, not because I have to.” Slowly, I dropped to one knee. Looking up into her eyes, eyes that I had known since I was a child, I continued. “You know me better than I know myself. We’re closer than any two people could ever hope to be. Your life is my life, and I couldn’t be happier about that. So Merrin, I want you to be my wife. Really my wife. In all the ways a man can have a wife. And not because it’ll save your life. And not because it’ll save mine. But because I want you; all of you. And I think you want me too.”

Her eyes were wide and her body had gone ridged when she finally answered me. “You’re not acting like yourself.”

“Maybe that’s not a bad thing,” I answered.

“What did that seer tell you?”

“Exactly what I needed to hear. Now what are you going to tell me, because I still haven’t gotten an answer.”

“We’re already married,” she said confusedly. “You’re the one who hasn’t been able to accept that.”

“Maybe I am now,” I said, standing to meet her. Her breath fell warm on my face and I could feel her heart beating hard in my chest. Yes, there were things I wasn’t telling her; reasons for my sudden change of heart that she couldn’t know right now. But I hadn’t lied to her. And I wasn’t lying now. “I love you, Merrin. No, it’s not the way I love her. But I do love you, and I always have. You’re part of me, and I can’t imagine a world without you in it.” Tears pooled in my eyes now. “So be my wife, Merrin.”

“I don’t need you to save me,” she warned, tears reemerging in her eyes too.

“Then save
me
,” I answered. “One more time, the way you always have. Be my wife. Save me. But only if you want to.”

“Damn you,” she said, and she couldn’t stop the tears from falling onto her cheeks. “Damn you, but I do.”