The Breaker's Resolution: (YA Paranormal Romance) (Fixed Points Book 4) (13 page)

“God no,” she scoffed. “Breakers are way too self-important to share their precious little Shade. Not that we could access it even if they did. Genetic predisposition and all. We’re just humans, Cresta. Just people. But we’re important. Back in the genesis of your people, when the Council was just a notion and the Hourglass was a tent with a moat around it, the Breakers took our forefathers in. They considered us to be pretty advanced for Neanderthals, and they wanted to make use of that.”

“How?” I asked, inching back toward her.

“They bred us to be servants. We tended to their issues, helped build up and maintain their lifestyle. We even died for them, if that’s what was called for.” She leaned forward, her mouth twisting up like the cat that ate the canary. “But we also learned their secrets.”

She nodded, like maybe I looked like I didn’t believe and she was trying to convince me.

“Generation after generation of Taggers served the Breakers. Just like they were descended from prestigious lines, so were we. But they didn’t consider that. They looked at us like we were nothing, like we were too simple minded to ever be a threat to them. Their egos became their shameful sins. Thirty years ago, my grandfather- tired of watching your Council lie, cheat, and manipulate the world into the shape they saw fit- led a revolt inside the Hourglass. They laughed at him at first. That’s how cocky they were. That’s how unprepared they were. But my grandfather knew their secrets. As Taggers, we watch. We wait. We listen. And we learn. By the time they knew what was going on, it was too late. We had built an Underground Railroad right under their noses. My grandfather led his people out like Moses through the desert. But, unlike the Moses with the Egyptians, my grandfather never needed to throw a single punch. And, unlike you, he knew how to get through the Great Wall without setting off the anchors.”

“It didn’t mess with his brain?” I asked. “But that means that he knew-that you guys know…”

“Where the Hourglass really is? Where all of its weakest points lie? Exactly how to get your boyfriend back? Whichever question you were about to ask, the answer is yes. We’re the Taggers, Cresta. And we’re about to take a hammer to the people trying to kill you. So?” She asked, smirking at me and tilting her head. “Are you coming or not?”

I followed Liv through the ‘bowels of Clarity’, even though I was still more than a little hesitant about her. She had told me all about the Taggers, told me all about their beef with the Breakers, and told me how they planned to use the Breakers’ weaknesses against them in an attempt to bring them down. But she still hadn’t told me what the Taggers wanted with me.

It was no doubt to use me as a weapon or a symbol, or whatever other sort of advantage they could wring out of me. And, while I wasn’t too keen on the idea of being used by yet another clandestine group, these idiots
had
to be the lesser of two evils. And besides, Liv promised she could keep me safe from the Council, which was a huge step up from what I was capable of doing myself.

But that wasn’t all she had told me. She said she could bring Owen to me. The idea of seeing him again, of having someone-anyone- after what I had just gone through, was hope. And I couldn’t afford to turn away from hope right now, no matter how small the sliver might be.

“How much longer?” I asked, after it felt like we had been walking for hours.

“Another quarter of a mile, and then we start up,” she answered, sounding just as chipper as she had at the start of this journey.

“Up?” I scoffed. “We’re never going to get to this stupid town.”

“The ‘stupid town’ is the only thing that’ll keep us breathing.  And the defenses around it have to be top notch, not like that secondhand crap that surrounds the Hourglass.”

I had never been anywhere that had even a tenth of the security that the Hourglass did. It as so strong that even Dahlia- the most hardheaded of us- thought escaping it to be a fool’s errand. And here Liv was mocking it. Was she lying trying to talk up her people’s ability? And if not, what the hell did the Taggers have protecting them?

We crossed into a tunnel and a faint blue light shone and then settled around us before shimmering away.

“What was that?” I asked, tensing up.

“One of those defenses I talked about,” Liv answered. She stopped and spun around to me. “Do you remember back in the diner? What did you hear? What did you see? Did you experience things that put you at ease, that encouraged you to let your guard down?”

I thought about the pie and the Beach Boys song.

“Tell me what’s going on,” I said, my eyes darting to either edge of the dark corridor.

“It’s tech. It scans your brain and pulls out things that are apt to make you feel a certain way. It only works on Breakers, because they’re the people we need protecting from. In the diner, that tech was calibrated to make you relaxed.”

“Okay. And…” I narrowed my eyes.

“Well, we just passed through another one. And it’s not exactly designed to make you feel good,” she winced. “I’d have changed it if I could have, but the controls aren’t here and it would take hours to bring the field down anyway. I’m afraid you’re just going to have to tough it out.”

“Tough what out?” I asked. “What field? What’s about to happen to me?”

“It’s part of the security. We can’t risk Breakers getting this close to Clarity. So, anytime a Breaker passes the point we just did, it sets off an energy field.”

“That’s what the blue lights were,” I muttered.

“Right, and when they disappeared, I’m afraid they disappeared into you.”

“Into me?!” I asked, almost jerking in disgust.

“You breathe them in. They don’t cause any permanent damage. They’re designed to make you feel something, to feel it so strongly that it’ll stop a Breaker right in their tracks.”

“What am I supposed to feel?” I asked, my eyes widening.

“Well, it’s not nirvana,” she quipped.

“What is it, Liv?” I asked, my tone flat lining.

“Sorrow,” she answered. “Bone wrenching, soul crushing sorrow.”

“Well damn…” I murmured.

“We need to run,” she said, sprinting off before I had a chance to respond. “I doubt we’ll be able to outrun the effects, but the less time you spend down here the better.”

I started behind her, splashing through the sewer’s nasty water. I could feel it almost instantly, the light creeping in under my pores. It was like a drug at first, an antihistamine that leaves you dizzy and lightheaded. I wasn’t sure I felt anything as I followed Liv, making a hard left then another right through the maze of the sewer. My feet felt light. My legs seemed detached from my body.

This was fine, a little trippy but definitely doable. If this was all there was to the Tagger line of defensive, then it blew my mind that they hadn’t been flooded with breaker insurgence years ago.

But then the second wave started.

It began as a song in the back of my head, something slow and melodic. Though it didn’t make any sense, it reminded me of my mother. I started to think about her hands, about the way they hugged me when I was down, about the way they healed complete strangers who came to her hospital, and about the way they held tight to my father’s whenever they slow danced.

And then I started think of my father. He was the kindest person I had ever known. He was bright and funny; funny like Casper.

I took another left. The tunnels seemed never ending now as I splashed through them behind Liv.

Casper never got to meet my dad. He was dead before we ever moved to Crestview. But something tells me they would have liked each other. They’d have vibed on shared humor and geeky interests. And on their shared love for me.

Maybe Casper would have even gotten a father figure out of him, one to replace the tobacco chewing, verbally abusive nightmare that was his own dad.    But that would never happen. Casper would never have any of that. Because he was dead now, just like Dad, just like Mom, just like everybody I ever had. He was dead, and he wasn’t coming back.

The realization slammed into me at what felt like sixty miles per hour. It had hurt before, but not like this. This pain was a knife ripping into my flesh and tearing a hole that I knew would never open.

Casper was dead. Dahlia was dead too. She had suffered through so much. She lost her daughter. She lost her husband. She lost her best friend. She lost her school. And, if that wasn’t enough, they even took her belief away from her. In showing their true colors, the Council ripped away that certainty that had made me hate her so much when we first met. Everything was so clear for her back then. Right and wrong were separate lines that never crossed, that never even touched.

And how had that ended for her? She died in a hotel room, trying to save the person she had grown up fearing the most, the same person who trapped her in that hotel room in the first place.

We took another left, still running, and I felt like I was going to hurl all over myself. I was gasping for breath, I was sweating buckets and, worst of all, my heart felt like it was about to explode into a million sorrowful pieces.

And then there was Royce. Aside from Jiqui, he was the one inside that room who I knew the least about. But that didn’t mean that he meant the least to me.

On the contrary, my feelings for Royce had become one of the most confusing parts of an exceptionally confusing life lately. On one hand, I hated him. How could I not? He was smug. He was rude. And he was more than a little condescending. But he also pushed me way past my limits. He believed in me in a way that was different than I had ever experienced before. And he had proven more than once that he’d give his life for me if necessary. And I didn’t hate that part of him at all. In fact, I might have loved it a little.

I crumpled to my knees, gasping for air, tears streaming down my face.

Screw this. Screw it all. What did any of it matter anyway? There was no win here. They were all dead. They had all paid the price for my existence. And, no matter what the future held for me, I could never make that right.

The truth of it pressed down on me, and I found myself wishing that it would crush me, that it would turn my bones to dust and my organs to mush, and just take me out of this misery.

Was this the effect of the Tagger defense? Was this the sorrow Liv had warned me about? Or was it no more than I had coming for being the Bloodmoon, for failing everyone I love so thoroughly, so permanently?

As if she was expecting it, Liv spun around, rushed toward me, and pulled me back to my feet. “Let’s go. I don’t have time to Dr. Phil you right now, okay.”

I shook my head, but I wasn’t feeling it. None of this mattered. None of it. Still, I ran. I moved behind her, slower than I had before, but still going through the motions.

We made another turn and Liv continued. “We need to keep moving,” the other woman said. “It won’t be long before they track us down here, and if we aren’t through the barrier, then I can’t guarantee your safety.”

Was she serious? I couldn’t hold my tongue anymore.

“What does it matter?!” I shouted. “They’re all dead, Liv. It’s over. They’re dead. It doesn’t matter.”

She kept shouting at me, something about the world needing me and apathy turning me into something worse than the Bloodmoon, but honestly, I was barely listening at that point.

It was all too much. I couldn’t just keep going, keep pretending it would all be okay. Because it never would be again. And nothing she-or anyone else- had to say would ever change that.

That was when I heard his voice.

Like a pair of hands cupping my cheeks, Owen’s voice surrounded me. I couldn’t tell where it was coming from, probably just a reaction of my overcharged mind. But whatever it was, it was just what I needed.

“I love you,” he said.

“Be strong,” he said.

And, with his voice trickling into my ears, things began to change. I knew it wasn’t really him. I knew he wasn’t actually here. But hearing him, almost feeling him, it cut through the sorrow like a knife. The people I loved might have been dead, but
all
the people I loved weren’t. What would Owen think of me if I resigned myself to lay down and die right here, to just give up?

I took a deep breath, settling myself and knowing-without a shadow of a doubt- that I had to push forward. I had to keep going for him, the way he would keep going for me.

And maybe one day, if we both kept pushing toward each other, we’d meet up in the middle.

“I love you too,” I muttered to myself. Then, turning back to Liv, I shook the sorrow off my back, stood up straighter, and said,” Let’s get the hell to Clarity.”

Of course, if I’d have known what was waiting for me there, my reaction would have probably been a little different.

Thankfully, the exit of ‘the bowels of Clarity’ wasn’t much further once I had had my little nervous breakdown. And it was a god thing too. While the ‘Owen’ voice in my head had soothed the sorrow monsters for the time being, a few minutes within the Tagger’s field and I felt them threatening to bubble back up to the surface.

When we reached the exit, a plain ladder leading up to a standard manhole cover, I was more than a little underwhelmed.

“This is it?” I asked, scratching my head. “I was expecting some techno gadget or mystical wormhole or something. At the very least some fireworks.”

“And if you stay with us until the Fourth of July, you’ll see some. Mayor Kleghorn always has an awesome stash set up in the park.” Her eyes darted upward. “Until then, I suggest we climb.”

I followed Liv up the ladder, cold and slimy, and winced as my eyes adjusted to the light that poured in once she pushed off the manhole cover and climbed up onto the surface.

I wasn’t sure what I was expecting as I followed her, maybe a parade or a True Life style celebration of me. But once again, I found myself pretty disappointed.

“It’s a town,” I muttered as I stood up, brushing grime and sewer residue off my damp shirt.

Looking around, I saw that Clarity wasn’t much to write home about. We stood in the middle of what looked like a main street. It was paved and had a dotted yellow line in the middle- which put it a step above Crestview- but other than that, it was an ordinary small town.

Shops, diners, and a barber shop dotted the street, ordinary looking people walked their dogs or talked to each other as they passed, and kids played at a particularly boring looking park that sat to my left.

“It’s just-it’s just an ordinary town,” I said.

“Well what did you expect?” Liv asked, looking a little fresher than me as she ran a hand through her wavy hair.

“I don’t know. You said this place was a fortress.”

“And it is,” she chirped. “But it’s also where we live, and work, and eat, and all that. You know, things have gotten kind aborning just sitting around waiting for you to ‘rise’ or whatever it is you do.” She extended her hand for me to take. I looked at it, but didn’t accept the offer. “Whatever,” she shrugged. “You know, we’re not the Breakers, Cresta. This thing, the prophecies and all of that, it’s not our everything. We have lives. We have friends. We got out on dates. Toby and I went to the prom earlier this year. Fine,” she said, reading my face and smirking. “
Casper
took me to the prom. Either way, it was nice. “

“Hi Cresta,” a girl, about my age, waved as she passed us on the street. “Hey Liv.”

“Hey Amanda,” Liv said, waving back.

“Do I know her?” I asked.

“No,” Liv answered, but she knows you. They all do.”

“They’re not staring,” I said, noticing the way they all seemed to be going about their business.

“Well, you’re not much to look at, are you?” Liv smirked again. “Like I said Cresta, these people have lives. They were perfectly satisfied with their small town existence-as boring as it might have been- before you started making waves everywhere.” She leaned in closer, mock whispering to me. “I think you’ll find that, unlike the Breakers, the Taggers are more interested in Cresta Karr than the Bloodmoon.”

My mouth tightened. “I doubt you’d have dragged Cresta Karr through a sewer to get here if there wasn’t something else to her,” I answered. “So you’ll forgive me if I don’t take everything you say as Gospel just yet.”

“Whatever makes your shoes squeak, sweetie,” she grinned at me.

A boy came toward us. He was tall and lanky. His dark hair flared upward at the front as was stained with a blot of grey near his right temple. “Hey Cresta,” he smiled at me, dimples dotting his cheeks. He nodded at Liv. “Deputy.”

“Marco,” she addressed him. “What about the package? Did we manage to secure it?”

“I’m not quite sure. I lost communication with the field team not long after you went underground and we haven’t been able to regain it yet,” he answered, his hands clasping together at his waist.

“Well then find out,” Liv answered, her tone flattening to more or less serious.  “I don’t have to explain to you how important it is to know one way or another. We won’t be able to move forward until we do.”

“Yes Deputy,” he nodded. “See ya later Cresta. Hope you like it here.”

“Uh, thanks dude,” I answered as he strode away, his hands sliding meekly into his pockets. “He called you Deputy,” I said, following Liv as she made her way onto the sidewalk.

“Yeah,” she scrunched her nose. “It’s a little formal for my taste, but what are you gonna do? Rules are rules.”

“You’re the police?” I asked. “You’re like twelve.”

“Sixteen,” she answered. “And not much younger than you, I might add. And of course I’m not the police. Deputy refers to my position within the Taggers. My grandfather is the Commissioner, so-”

“So it’s all about family lines and stuff here too? Tell me again how you’re not like the Breakers,” I scoffed.

“I had to earn my spot, Sunshine” She said, stopping in her tracks and putting her hands on her hips. “My grandfather might have been the big bad boss around these parts, but all that meant is that he was harder on me. He watched everything he did, and he was more critical than he would have been with most. I wouldn’t have gotten where I am without seriously busting my ass for it. See, we’re not like the Breakers. We’re not born with super cool powers and a massive superiority complex. We have to make do with training and tech. We have to make it count.”

“What do you want from me here?” I asked, my mind spinning. I had been through enough of this to know that no one-not even family- does something like this without getting something in return.

Here I was, the Bloodmoon. I was as alone and as vulnerable as I had ever been, and I was more powerful than I ever thought imaginable.

These Taggers wanted to use me for something. I just didn’t know what it was yet.

“I told you. We want to keep you safe,” Liv answered.

“Cut the bull,” I scoffed.

“How screwed up are you anyway, Sunshine?” Liv moved toward me again, eyeing me up and down. “I mean, I get that you’re life has been harder than most, and I imagined some level of trust issues. But do you really view the world as such a crappy awful place that the idea of anybody helping you just because it’s the right thing to do is totally unbelievable? Because, if you do, that just might be the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Stop teasing her Olivia,” a man’s voice sounded from behind me. I turned to find an older man with tanned skin, salt and pepper gray hair, and a pointed chin striding toward me. He walked with confidence, wearing a black suit studded with gold medals and a pair of dark rimmed glasses.

“Grandpa,” Liv chimed.

“We’re in public,” he answered, settling in front of us.

“Commissioner,” he adjusted. “Good to see you.”

“And it’s good to see you. I’m happy to hear that your mission was a success.” He peered at her from over the rim of his glasses. “A
complete
success.”

A wide smile spread across her face. “Does that mean that the package-”

“Was secured successfully. We’re on track, Olivia. And it’s all because of you. Well, because of you both.” He turned to me, extending his hand.

“She’s not a shaker,” Liv said.

“I think she’ll make an exception,” the man said. And the thing was, I did. I wasn’t sure whether it was because he was an old guy, or because he was wearing important looking medals, or because he had just put Liv in her place, but something about this guy made me take his hand.

“I can’t tell you how happy it makes all of us to have you here. You have a home here in Clarity for as long as you want it.”

“As long as I want it?” I asked, my brows furrowing. “Does that mean I’m free to leave?”

“Well, this isn’t a prison, Cresta. And, even if it was, I doubt there’s a prison on the planet that could hold you. You proved that, didn’t you?” He shook my hand. “I’m Commissioner Rivers. For lack of a more inclusive definition, I’m in charge here. If you need anything, anything at all while you’re with us, feel free to come to Olivia or myself. We’ll be happy to do our best to help you assimilate into our little town here, much as we did with your friend. If indeed, that is what you decide you’d like.” 

Casper only had great things to say about this place. He had loved every minute of living here. He had loved this girl who stood in front of me. And, in case his sterling recommendation wasn’t enough, I did have an entire race of Breakers hunting me down right outside the town limits. This was, as Liv told me back in the sewers, my best chance at safety. But something still wasn’t right. There was something off about this place, something they weren’t telling me.

“I’m not sure what I want yet,” I answered, pulling my hand away from his.

“Fair enough. You’re a thoughtful girl. That’ll make you and Olivia great friends, I think.”  He peered at me from over his glasses now, the same way he had peered at Liv just moments ago. “But before you make your decision, I’d like you to come with me. There are a few things I’d like to show you, things that I think might color your decision.”

I nodded in agreement. What else could I do? And started following Commissioner Rivers down the sidewalk.  Liv walked beside me, keeping pace silently. But, after a few moments, the older man turned to her and said, “That’ll be enough, Olivia. Cresta and I can take it from here.”

She balked. “But I-” Swallowing hard, she tried to put her thoughts together. “I was successful Commissioner. I brought you the Bloodmoon
and
secured the package.”

“Which is why you’d do well to take a bit of downtime. I’m sure your mother can find something for you to do at home,” he answered, hands behind his back.

“With all due respect, I’m not interested in downtime, and I’m sure that whatever you could find for me to do would be a much better use of my time than puttering around at home and helping with the pot roast.”

“This isn’t a debate. Must you be so stone headed?  You did well, Olivia. Your community appreciates your talents. Is that what you want to hear? Now for God’s sake. Go home, turn on your Kindle, call up your friends and talk about boys. Do whatever you need to in order to unwind. Because I promise you, this is only just beginning.

She moved closer to him. With her eyes on the ground, she whispered, “But the package…”

“Yes,” Commissioner Rivers answered. “I understand that you have a personal investment in whether or not the package was delivered in one piece. It is for that very reason, that I can’t have you here. We can’t have your judgement clouded.”

“I can keep my emotions in check,” she answered.

“Not when you’re a teenager, sweetheart,” he smiled, patting her arm. “Which is completely understandable. Now do us both a favor, stop acting like you father, and just allow yourself to believe that you did a good job.”

He swallowed hard. “Yes Commissioner. I’ll go home.” She turned on her heels and started the other way. “See you at dinner,” she said over her shoulder.

“See you at dinner,” the commissioner said, as he motioned for me to continue walking with him.

A bit of apprehension crept up in me. I didn’t trust Liv, but at least I had known her for more than thirty seconds. She had saved my life and helped me through that horrible sorrow field. Sure, she had also shot me was a Taser, but who knew what the commissioner was capable of? He was an old guy, but so was Chant. I had seen old guys do some horrific things in my life.

But part of me was confident. I had grown powerful lately, more powerful than I ever imagined I could be. And while that scared me, it also made me feel safe. If this old guy was going to come at me, he was more than likely going to limp away. I could promise him that.

But as we walked, silently down a street full of cheery looking people waving and smiling at me from a distance, I started to feel more and more at ease. I wasn’t sure whether it was clarity or the fact that it reminded me more than a little of Crestview, but something about this place made me comfortable.

I remembered the diner, the familiar tasting pie and the Beach Boys song that floated in the air. Everything I heard, saw, and tasted in that diner was an attempt to throw me off my guard. Was that happening again here? Had I marched right through a sensor, traipsed through another energy field designed to screw with my Breaker mind.

“I suppose it wouldn’t do me any good to ask what the package is, the one Liv was talking about,” I said, intentionally steeling my voice. If they were going to soften me up, they were going to have to earn it.

“I’ll tell you if you’d like, but I’d much rather show you.” The Commissioner turned to me, a smile dancing across his features. “We’re headed there now actually, and I feel like you might have a lot of questions after you see it.”

I bit my lip. There was something about the deepness in his voice that calmed me, sort of like James Earl Jones reading me a bedtime story. Damn these energy fields.