Authors: Taylor Lavati
The stars are shimmering tonight. The North Star is just in front of me, begging me to reach out and catch it. I wish that I was a dreamer. I lean back in the chair, my body exhausted from my work out today.
My formerly scrawny arms and legs are now muscular and lean. I've never been in better shape, and it's all thanks to my rigorous training. I try to get at least three or four hours in the gym per day, and most of the time, today being excluded, I succeed.
I shut my eyes and envision my plans. I picture Hermes's face and how it will look as I drain the eternal life out of him with my new muscles. I see myself sprinting around him and catching him off guard. I picture Hades's smug grin as I sprint through the Underworld and ruin his plans, restricting him to the Underworld for all of eternity. I feel a tang of pain in my chest, but ignore it.
It'll all be worth it in the end. Even if I die.
"You couldn't save me." Her voice rings out in my head. My eyes dart open as I look around the empty hallway. I must have fallen asleep. I rub my eyes and try to adjust to the now flickering fluorescent lights up on the ceiling. The hallway is exactly like when I fell asleep, only now the lights are on but the walls are darker, painted a morbid black.
I check my front pocket for my phone, but it must have died. I press the power button but nothing happens. I stand up from the chair and start to head back downstairs, since people probably miss me from my own party. I grab the chair and start to drag it down to the common room. When I step out, a figure down the hall halts me, rooting me in my place.
"Megan?" I call out, praying that my eyes are deceiving me. That's impossible. I step forward, and at the same time, the figure moves forward. She's right under a blinking ceiling light, and I can make out her features perfectly now. I rub my eyes and then look again. Something is wrong.
It's clear that it's Megan. Her brown hair is long, like it was when she died. Her glasses are on, but her eyes glare beneath them, glaring at me. I just don't understand what's happening. There's no such thing as ghosts. I know that, but the fact that she's standing in front of me signals that I'm wrong.
"You killed me, you bitch!" Megan screams, her voice shrill and angry. But her face doesn't move as she yells. The expression stays the same. Her mouth doesn't even open to speak the words. She just stands there, still as stone. I look from left to right to make sure this isn't a sick joke.
"I'm sorry," I tell her, tears streaking down my face now. "I couldn't save you. I'm so sorry."
Her eyes sink back into her head and shut. "You deserve to die."
"I do," I answer, nodding my head in agreement. I step forward towards her, but she suddenly vanishes, and the ground swallows me whole. I fall.
CHAPTER THREE
savior
A warm set of arms wraps around my waist and lift me up from the ground. I refuse to open my eyes. I refuse to let anyone see me this vulnerable. My knees ache from falling on them, but the physical pain is nothing compared to my emotional trauma.
"Shh. You're okay."
"Leave me alone," I mutter as I try to wriggle out of the arms encircling me. He lets me go. I turn my back on the person and cover my face with my hands. I try to bury my feelings deep within me, try to shove them down into my gut and never let them resurface, but for some reason the vision is just too powerful. I feel too much to hide it.
I fall to my knees again and sob, tremors of pain jolting through my body. With my face still covered, I crumble into myself, wanting the ground to eat me up. Wanting to disappear.
"Eury, you're okay," the voice says again. Only this time, his voice is so clear that it cuts right to my heart. Hearing my nickname roll off his tongue makes my heart slam against my chest and my stomach flip-flop itself.
"I can't feel this anymore," I say, pressing my hand against his chest as if I might actually break. I feel the familiar thump of a heart. I let myself look up into Ari's light green eyes, and for once in the past three months, I feel okay—safe even. And for the first time, I don't ignore it. I don't have a choice to look away when he stares at me with such compassion that it burns.
"Let yourself cry. It's okay, Eury. Let go." His voice is soft and coaxing me. I listen to his words and obey. I let it all out. My anger, my frustration, my hate, my sadness, my grief. I push it out like I'm expelling a demon from within me.
He pulls me into his arms and lifts me up effortlessly, cradling me against his firm chest. I let him carry me into an abandoned room and lay us down on the bed together. I can't stop the tears now even if I tried. Three months of forgetting, of burying, gone. All my walls I built have crumbled and fallen through my hands like sand.
Ari holds me against his chest tight, as if he is afraid that I might make a run for it. But to be honest, that's the last thing on my mind. Time passes as I cry into his shoulder, relieving myself of all the pain that I carry.
Finally, I pull in a breath and actually let myself exhale. I push the air out of my lungs and my body relaxes into Ari—our forms molding together with each intake of breath. My tense shoulders sag, my beaten down muscles release.
"Do you feel better?" he asks into the black room. I nod, because I don't trust myself to speak just yet. I push back so I'm not nestled in his shoulder and look across the pillow at him.
He's changed, that much is blatantly clear. His bagged eyes look worn down from not sleeping at all. His face is pale, almost like he's been sick. I want to ask what's happened to him, but I already know the answer. His pain is my fault. His change is my fault.
But my pain is his fault. My change is his fault.
He hurt me, betrayed me. He gave my mother up to Hades. For what?
But, right now, for some reason, I need him more than I care about his betrayal. I feel safe within his arms. I feel loved as he looks into my eyes, but even more so like he's staring into my soul. He sees the real me, and nobody else can strip me like that.
"I'm sorry." I'm not sure why I say this, only that it feels right in the moment. He doesn't move, doesn't say a word, and I worry that I've upset him somehow. "What's wrong?" I ask him after a few moments pass.
"I'm trying really, really hard not to kiss your tears away, Eury. But it's literally killing me inside not to be able to comfort you," he whispers.
"I haven't cried in over three months," I admit to him.
"Crying doesn't make you weak, Eury."
"I know."
"You're the strongest person I know. It's one of the many reasons that I love you. You feel so much, so strongly. Holding it in, carrying it around, it doesn't help you."
"Thank you," I tell him. I lean forward, closing the space between us and kiss his lips. I forgot what it feels like to be with Ari. I don't want our kiss to end. Ever.
Love radiates from his mouth into mine in thick, white tendrils of emotion. My heart thrums inside of me, finally taking on a life of its own. Butterflies erupt in my stomach, and the feeling is so foreign that I almost giggle.
I open my mouth to Ari, wanting all of him. He's tentative, almost as if he isn't sure what the heck is going on. And, to be honest, I don't know what's going on. Only that it feels right. Before I can dwell on it further, his arms wrap behind my back and tug me close to him so our bodies are flush up against each other.
My bare legs brush against his. His shorts only go to his knees, so feeling his flesh against mine makes my blood boil. I pull my leg up over his hip and scoot closer to him, as if that's even possible. With our legs tangled, I can't tell where I end and he begins.
His kisses become stronger and harder and faster. I don't have time to think as I try to move with him. My hand dives into his thick head of nearly black hair. My other hand reaches around him, trying to find its own purpose.
Ari pulls back, our long kiss abruptly ending, and I moan at the loss of him, refusing to open my eyes and face reality. He laughs a little at my frustration, and it's that laugh that made me love him in the first place. I open my eyes, and he's staring right at me—through me.
"I love you so much," he mutters.
I open my mouth to say something. I'm not sure what I'm going to say, since my brain is heavily clouded with desire. But, before I get a chance to talk, his mouth covers mine again, and I'm lost to him. Completely under his spell.
He pushes me over so his body hovers just above mine. I can feel the lower half of him resting firmly against me, pinning me to the bed, refusing to let me move. I wrap my arms around his neck and lean up towards his face, the distance too much to bear.
Our lips never break as we continue to ravish each other. Each move he makes, I mirror it, relishing in his soft lips and thick hair. My hands tug and pull on him while his rake up and down my sides, passionately memorizing my entire body.
As we kiss, his hands grab a hold of the bottom of my t-shirt, and he pulls it up and over my body. Our contact breaks, but once the shirt is discarded, he kisses me again, barely leaving a second of time where we aren't kissing.
It's not fair that I'm shirtless and he's not. I move my hands from his hair down his back until I feel the hem of his black shirt. I want him completely bare, vulnerable to me. I pull the shirt up and over his head. Our stomachs are now bare and touching; the heat within me only intensifies.
He pushes up with his strong arms and sits back in his heels. He reaches down and lifts me up, so we're sitting face to face on the bed. Our eyes connect and it's like I can see our whole future together in just one nanosecond. A simple flash of potential. I make the choice to make love to him right then and there. I'm not sure if it's what I see in his eyes or my own need to be loved in this moment, but it's as clear as night and day. And I act on it.
Ari must see my decision written on my face, because a sly grin creeps its way up to his eyes. I absolutely love his smile. I reach forward and tug on his pants, undoing the belt and the buckle. He leans back, making it easier for me.
He climbs down from the bed, and shimmies his pants off, all while I watch from my vantage point on the bed. There's barely any light in this vacant room, so I can only make out his large silhouette. But the darkness only adds to the romance, the mystery, and allure of Ari. It makes me want him close again so I can see every part of him.
When he's pantless, he holds out his hand for me to take it. My mind slowly registers that in this moment, I can walk away. I still have time to make a run for it. But I ignore my mind telling me that this is wrong, and go with my heart—for once in my life.
I take his hand and let him undress me, slowly. His movements are a tease. I hold his shoulders for support as my shorts are removed and the heat from his fingertips pours into me. I'm fulfilled, like my entire life up to his point led to this single moment. As he bends down, he kisses my hipbones and then my bellybutton. He kisses my stomach up to my sides until he reaches the barrier of my bra.
His fingers trail a line of fire over my collarbone as I lean into his touch. I tilt my head so he has more access to me. He leans forward, his hands still on my straps, and he kisses the areas still scorched by fire with his gentle lips.
He works his way from the tip of my shoulder to the crook of my neck. When he finds the sweet spot behind my ear, he sucks it. His lips play with my neck and his tongue swirls, making my blood rush within me.
While sucking me, he reaches behind me and unhooks my bra in one swift motion. It falls to the ground like dead weight, but I swear it booms when it hits. It's the last piece of fabric between us. My last wall. I would think my nerves would envelop me, but they don't. I don't feel vulnerable. I don't feel naked or embarrassed. I feel right, as if my life makes sense for once.
He breaks his playful kisses and pulls away from me, stepping backwards so that there's a foot of space between us. He stares at me, openly, his eyes roaming up and down my body. We stand face to face. I step forward through the tension between us, drinking him in.
I reach for him first. I make the first movement.
I circle my arms around his neck and kiss his collarbone like he did mine. His naked body presses against mine as he tugs me against his chest. His hands rest just below my butt, and he pulls me up into his arms.
I wrap my legs around his waist, his erection firm against my stomach. The heat within me swells, making my body almost combust. He kisses me, but it's unlike before. His kisses are needy, primal, passionate. He's neither soft nor gentle. He's attacking me with his mouth. He's on a mission to fully consume me.
Before I know it, my back is pressing against a cold wall, and Ari's arms are on either side of my head, holding us in place and pinning me. I'm ready, and I need him now. I push up farther along his body and then sink right onto him, completely covering him and wrapping myself around him.