The Bull Rider's Collection (16 page)

James tuned him out, knowing that whatever they said about Jesse getting another manager, it was negotiations like this when another manager would never be able to talk Jesse into doing the right thing.

JR’s face popped into James’s mind.
What about me?
the imaginary child asked.
When are you going to be with me?

You have your mom. And I’ll be there, at least financially.

Lizzie might not even let him help there unless he forced the issue. Not after running out on the promises he’d made to his son.

He glanced at Jesse. Just like their mother had run out on them.

A knock on the door jolted Lizzie from replaying the weekend with James again while JR and Angie watched cartoons in the living room. She opened the door.

“Express delivery, Lizzie. I don’t think I’ve ever had an express for anyone on my route.”

Lizzie grinned at her mail carrier. He’d been on the same route since she was a little girl, seeing her through her
Highlights
stage as well as when she couldn’t wait for her
Teen Beat
to show up. “Well, maybe it’s from the sweepstakes people.”

“Wouldn’t that be a treat?” He handed her a form to sign. “Just write your address there, and sign in the three spots I’ve marked.”

Lizzie signed and took the thin envelope and read the Boise return address. George Baxter, Attorney at Law. She froze. Why would an attorney send her a letter?

“Thanks.” She slipped out the front door and sat in the rocking chair on the porch. Laying the magazines and envelopes down, she stared at the bright express envelope.

You might as well open it.

Shaking, she slipped her fingers through the seal and shook the contents onto her lap. Three thin sheets of paper. It didn’t look like legal papers to her. She peeked into the envelope. Nothing else. Pulling the letterhead closer, she read the two paragraphs.

In order to facilitate my client’s paternity rights, we are requesting you and the child in question comply with testing. The address and phone number of the testing site is enclosed. In addition, Mr. Sullivan has requested I forward the enclosed check to you for your personal needs until this matter is settled.

Please direct questions to me at the above number.

Stunned, Lizzie read the note again. James wanted a paternity test. He didn’t believe her.

Fingers shaking, she slipped the other page aside and there was the check. Five thousand dollars. More money than she’d ever seen in her life. And James expected her to what? Just take it? He threw cash on the dresser when he left her bedroom and then did this? She’d expected a little more from him. She imagined the conversation with her welfare worker.

JR’s father turned up out of the blue and decided to provide for us. Please close our case.

Just like that, no more feeling like she lived off her dad and the productive members of the community. Instead, she’d be a kept woman.

“I wondered if he’d do the right thing.” Angie’s voice surprised her and Lizzie glanced at the woman standing behind her. Now part of her son’s life and Lizzie guessed part of her own.

“I can’t accept this,” she said without thinking.

“He owes you more than that in child support,” Angie said ferociously. “You
can
accept this and you will.” She sat down on the rail in front of Lizzie. “Doesn’t JR deserve the love and attention of both parents? The financial security James can provide?”

“That’s cold, coming from you,” Lizzie shot back.

“I deserve that.” Angie leaned over and grabbed Lizzie’s hands. “But you know I’m right.”

And Lizzie did. But accepting money from James still felt wrong. Especially since he might as well have left this money on the bedside table, too. “Gratitude isn’t one of my strengths.”

“Then think of it as payback.” Angie squeezed her hands and let go. “He owes you. Probably more than I can imagine. But at least this is a start.”

“I could use it to get the cabins ready,” Lizzie admitted. She’d get the cabin rental business up and going to support her and JR. Then any money James sent could be put into a college fund. JR deserved that.

“That’s my girl. Sounds like we have a shopping trip to plan.” Angie grinned. “I’ll drive.”

Lizzie grinned. At least someone would enjoy spending the money. She hesitated briefly, then gave JR’s grandmother a short awkward hug. When she pulled away, Angie’s eyes glistened with tears. “Angie? It’s nice to have you here.”

Angie’s voice caught, “Darling, that means more than you know.” She rose and patted Lizzie’s shoulder. “You go make up a list and I’ll freshen up.” Then she hurried into the cabin, letting the screen door slam behind her. “JR, get some clothes on. We’re going shopping.”

Alone, Lizzie thought about the check. Leave it to James to do the right thing awkwardly. Because if sending her a check for her “personal needs” was the right thing for him to do, how come it made her feel more hollowed out than his request for a paternity test?

Sex with benefits, she told herself, wanting to cry. That’s all they’d ever be.

• • •

Packing in the last bag from Angie’s rental Jeep filled Lizzie’s small home to overflowing and made the living room seem more like a storage shed or a very large linen closet.

Angie had organized the day like a professional. She’d talked Martha and Dad into watching JR until tomorrow. He’d be dropped off about two, which gave Lizzie time to distribute the flyers she and Angie had designed in minutes at the printers, their first stop when they arrived in Boise. The printing had been ready for them to pick up on their way out of town.

Angie’d also talked her into doing cute little bookmarks to stuff in the paperbacks they’d bought at yard sale to stock the cabins and the main lobby. Bookmarks that would encourage visitors to take the books with them and pass along the bookmarks advertising Hudson’s Hot Springs.

“I can’t believe we got this all done in what? Twelve hours? And that’s with four hours drive time.” Lizzie sank onto the couch and leaned her head back. She hadn’t been this bone weary for years. It felt good.

“We’re not done yet, girl.” Angie pulled off her two-inch stacked heels and rubbed her feet. “My dogs are barking tonight. I probably should have thought about ignoring the fashion gods and wearing some sensible shoes. Like those.” She pointed at Lizzie’s feet.

“Thanks, but I only own two pair of shoes, well, three.” Lizzie pulled up her legs and popped her worn tennies on the coffee table. A habit JR had started to pick up as well, even though she yelled each time she saw him with his feet on the table.

What was it Mom said? Monkey see, monkey do.

She grinned, thinking about her copycat son.

“Three pair of shoes? Girl, you’re deprived. How do you accessorize with only three pair of shoes?” Angie gave her a horrified stare.

“Easy. Tennis shoes with jeans and shorts. Boots with jeans when it’s raining or snowing. And finally flip flops in the summer with everything else.” Lizzie watched the dismay grow on Angie’s face.

“If I’d known your clothing situation was this bad, we would have stayed in town overnight and got you a decent wardrobe. How are you going to run a successful business in jeans and flip flops?” Angie’s tone made the words
flip flops
seem almost X-rated and not in a good way.

“My clothes are fine.” Lizzie didn’t want to argue, she wanted a beer or a glass of wine. “What are your plans? Are you in a hurry to get back?”

“To my empty hotel room? Not really.” Angie glanced out the open screen door to watch the sun set over the mountain. “I’d like to stay and help you get the cabins set up if you don’t mind.”

“You don’t have to work,” Lizzie said quickly. “I’ve had a bottle of white zin in the refrigerator for six months that I never felt like opening.” Lizzie kicked her shoes off and slipped her feet back on the table. “I think we have some sharp cheddar and crackers to go with the wine.”

“No wine for me, thanks.” Angie shook her head. “I’m off alcohol now. But tea or lemonade sounds like heaven.” She sighed. “I have to admit, I hoped to spend a little time with the boys on this trip. I got a full day with Jesse, but James … .” Another head shake. “What happened wasn’t even close to want I wanted.”

So she meant what she said about her meetings. Good.

“James is complicated. I don’t know if I’m the best one to advise you there. I sure don’t understand what goes on in his head.” Lizzie groaned. “Look at me, I’m a mess because of that stupid son of yours. I was doing fine not knowing where he was or who he was with. Now? I want to kill him.”

Angie smiled. “Sounds like he’s under your skin.”

“Not again. I won’t go through this again.” Lizzie shook herself like a wet dog, throwing all trace of James’s hands, kisses, and body off her skin and out of her mind. “So, I ask again? Ready to celebrate the soon to be grand reopening of the cabins?”

“Stay where you are. I’ve poured my fair share of wine and I can pull together iced tea and a snack tray.” Angie jumped up and headed to the kitchen. “This is like a teenage slumber party.”

A slumber party with a decorate-for-under-a-dime theme.

At least Angie was happy. She seemed to thrive under stress. Lizzie had to block every thought of James and his impromptu stop last night followed by his under cover of moonlight escape and his pay-for-sex way of thinking he could take care of her and JR. When she was in bed tonight, she’d let tears come, but for one night only. Tomorrow she’d be back to business. Part of that business was making sure JR had time to spend with his dad. Time that didn’t include her.

Cabinet doors slammed in the kitchen. At least James talked to JR. He’d ignored Angie from the time she’d arrived in town until his quick departure. Lizzie knew JR’s new grandmother must be crushed — much as she was herself. Angie wasn’t that bad. Of course she hadn’t left Lizzie to fend with a little brother and a useless father either. James had good reasons to be cautious in freely showing his affection.

Despite their earlier talk, Lizzie wondered if maybe she should protect JR from her vanishing, too. The same way she should have protected him from James leaving. She thought about making a list of questions to ask Angie when she came back, but before she could open her eyes, she heard a noise.

“Here we go.” Angie set a tray of wine, ice tea, and snacks on the coffee table then poured a glass of wine and passed it to Lizzie. She pushed the glass closer when Lizzie hesitated. “This is the right bottle, right? I didn’t see another bottle chilling.”

“It’s the only bottle.” Lizzie shook her head, thoughts of grilling Angie leaving for the night. She took the offered glass and smiled. “Shall we find a movie to watch?”

“Perfect. As long as it’s not a robot cartoon or action flick. My late husband loved war movies. I could care less if I ever saw another reenactment of World War II in my life.” Angie sat in the recliner.

“Romantic chick flick it is then.” Lizzie scanned the piles of DVDs on the bookshelf, found what she was looking for, and slipped the DVD into the machine. The evening passed with very little conversation and a lot of wine. Lizzie hadn’t felt this relaxed for years.

Then the phone rang.

Not recognizing the number, she answered in full business mode. “Hudson’s Hot Springs, this is Lizzie. May I help you?”

“Hey, Liz.” James’s husky voice filled her ear and made her toes curl.

Mad, stay mad.

“James. What do you want?” Lizzie shot a glance at Angie.

“Sorry about this morning, I had a meeting with Jesse’s sponsor in Boise. I had to leave.”

The explanation sounded plausible. But Lizzie knew James. She stood up and headed to the kitchen.

“You couldn’t wake me? You left me a note?” She turned on the faucet and started rinsing the few dishes in the sink.

“I don’t want to fight.”

“You never do.” Lizzie turned off the water. “What do you want James?”

“Did you get the check?”

“I did.” Lizzie expected he wanted her to say thank you. She just didn’t have it in her.

The line was quiet. Finally, James said, “I’m seeing my attorney tomorrow.”

Fear gripped heart. “I’m scheduling the paternity tests next week. I only got the letter today, for god’s sake.”

“I want to get this arrangement formalized. JR deserves that, don’t you think?”

Lizzie’s emotions ran from fear to anger. “If that’s the way you want it.”

Neither spoke for what seemed like hours. Then James said, “I’ll be back in town next week. I’d like to see JR if that’s all right.”

“That will be fine. I’ve got someone here, I need to go.” Lizzie had to get off the phone before she asked what his plans were for her.

“You can’t even let the bed grow cold?” His words stung.

“It’s none of your business what I do with whom.” Old patterns, old words. Lizzie felt transported back to their senior year when they’d broken up over Jesse and she’d let a football player take her to a dance.

“Sorry, this time, you’re wrong. What you do in front of my son is definitely my business. If you’re going to act like a tramp, I’m going for full custody. JR doesn’t need this.”

“Neither do I, James.” Fury got the better of her. “I don’t need you dropping money on my table like I’m the tramp you want to believe I am, and neither JR nor I need you making threats like a child throwing a tantrum to get his way. Convincing a judge you can care for a five-year-old while you’re running from rodeo to rodeo will be a little tricky.” Her breath caught. James had the financial means to make this a battle and she’d spent the money he’d sent her on getting the cabins up and running. A bet that better pay off or she’d lose everything this time.

“Then I’ll hire a nanny for Jesse and take care of my son.” His voice was ice cold, petulant — and lost.

Damn it, James. If you were here, I could reason with you. Take care of you. Make things all right.

“You can’t take JR from me. He’s all I have,” she whispered.