The Certainty of Deception (7 page)

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” a hysterical Olivia yelled.

Lucky for me, the week flashed by in a blink of an eye.  The anticipation of my trip kept me busy.  I was so excited that I almost forgot Olivia existed.  In all truthfulness, it had escaped me to even contact her about my weekend trip.  There was no need.  It wasn’t as if she and I were in a binding relationship.  “Hello to you, too,” I replied as she shoved her way into my house.

I stepped back, allowing her to enter, but what I really wanted to do was push her ass back outside and slam the door in her face.  “The last time I checked, it was customary to wait for someone to invite you in.”

“And what
was your plan? Leave me outside?”

“Thought crossed my mind.”

“Excuse me?”

My lips twitched into a lopsided grin as I mumbled, “There’s no excuse for you.”

Turning to face me, she propped her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes.  Olivia had always been pretty, in that pretentious sort of way.  She stood tall and very slender.  The only true curve on her was the baby bump that she showed off as often as she could.  Her dark brown hair was piled in a messy bun on top of her head and her black eyes flashed red.  It took everything inside me not to quack at her.  Between her stance and the bright yellow sundress she was wearing, she could’ve easily been mistaken for a rubber duck. 

“Whatever,” she huffed.  “When were you planning on telling me about this little excursion you have planned?” she demanded, tapping her foot.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  Play stupid.  A man’s best defense. 

I closed the front door and walked past her into the living room, wondering why I let her through the security gate in the first place. 

“Don’t play stupid with me, Drew.”  Damn.  She’s on to me.  “I know about the trip with Jared and Gavin.” 

“Okay.”  I shrugged.  “Good for you.  That still doesn’t explain the reason for your visit.” 

“It more than explains my reasoning.  I want to know when the fuck you planned on telling me that you were leaving?”

I whipped around, stalking toward her, my blood boiling.  I could feel the heat of my anger rising in my face.  “Now.  I’m telling you right now,” I sneered.  “I’m going on a trip with my brother and my friend, and there’s not a goddamn thing you can do about it.”

“Friend,” she scoffed.  “That’s a joke.”  She straightened to her full height, bringing her almost eye to eye with me.  “Besides, has it slipped your mind, or are you just stupid?  I’m
pregnant
.  You’re the father, and I need you where I can reach you at any given time.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to control my life.  I’m a single man and can come and go as I please.  I don’t need your permission.”

“Throw that in my face, why don’t you.”

“Throw what in your face?”

Nose to nose, I felt nothing but animosity toward this woman.  At one time, I considered her a friend, but she’d changed.  And it wasn’t a subtle change.  It was like one day she was a fun, interesting person and the next she was a conniving, vindictive bitch.   

“That you’re single.  You always have to remind me that we’re not together anymore.”

My teeth clenched to the point my jaw hurt, I balled my fists at my sides, fighting to keep control of my temper.

“That’s because you can’t get it through your thick skull.”

“You’ve made it perfectly clear how you feel, but that doesn’t mean you won’t change your mind.”

I threw my arms in the air.  “I give up.  It’s like talking to a brick wall.  Now, if that’s all you wanted, I’ve got to pack.  I leave tomorrow.  You know where the door is.  Make sure you let it hit you on the way out.”

Olivia gasped, her eyes widening.  Her hand flew to her newly protruding belly, rubbing it tenderly.  “How dare you speak like that to the mother of your child?”

“That’s still unconfirmed.”  I grabbed the rod
iron banister and bounded up the stairs.  I had stuff to do and she was taking up too much of my time.

“Oh, God.  You’re not talking about the damn paternity test again.  We’ve been over this.  It’s dangerous for the baby,” she yelled after me.

Yet another excuse with her.  She religiously claimed that the baby was mine, and I was inclined to believe her.  As far as I knew she’d been faithful to me, as her pursuit of me had been rather single-minded, but I made a promise to my father and with my background in family law, I agreed it was a pertinent move.

I entered my bedroom and groaned at the sight before me.  My bed looked like my closet had exploded all over it.  Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t give a damn about what clothes I took with me, but the stakes were high and I had to look my best.

“Are you listening to me, Drew?” Olivia yelled from the stairwell. 

She entered my bedroom, frazzled.  Her face was red and her jaw set in a hard line. I rolled my eyes and started sifting through my clothes.  “What do you want, Olivia?  I thought I made it perfectly clear that I’m not changing my plans for you.  If you have nothing further to add, I suggest you leave.”

“Where are you going?” she asked.

A part of me was relieved that my destination had not been revealed.  At least I knew Morgan had kept that part of my secret.  My future sister-in-law was the only person who could’ve leaked my forthcoming plans.

“None of your business.”

“What if I need you, huh?”

She picked up a t-shirt off the bed and held it out in front of her.  Disapproval rolled off of her, which told me it was the perfect shirt to take.  I ripped it from her hand and folded it neatly, placing it in my luggage.  “Call my cell phone or my office.  Ethan will be more than happy to pass the message along.”

“This is bullshit!  I have the right to know where you’re going.”

“Why?  What gives you that right?” I asked; tossing my Chuck Taylor’s into my bag.

Olivia marched over to the bag, grabbed my shoe and threw it at my head.  “I’m the mother of your child.  That gives me the fucking right!”

Thank God she was a bad aim because the shoe whizzed by my ear.  I stepped toward her, my pulse racing as my temper flared again.  It had been a mistake allowing her in my house.  I knew that the moment I opened the gate, but what alternative did I have?  She couldn’t be like any normal, sane person and call me with her grievances.  No, she had to show up unannounced and start a war.  And this wasn’t the first time she’d behaved like this. 

Several months back, she showed up unannounced.  While here, McKenzie called me.  She was very upset.  Before I could find out what had
McKenzie so distraught, she heard Olivia in the background.  Mistaking the reason for Olivia’s presence and needing to blow off steam, McKenzie took a midnight swim in the Gulf, which led to her catching a terrible cold.  I still blamed myself for that.  Had I sent Olivia away, I could’ve taken care of the girl that really mattered to me. 

I picked the shoe up off the floor and tossed it back into my bag.  “Don’t ever throw anything of mine again.” I growled.

Olivia’s brown eyes gleamed with spite.  Her lip curled toward her nose.  She marched to the foot of my bed and grabbed my suitcase. 

“Don’t you dare,” I warned her.

“What are you going to do?  Hit me?  Go ahead.  Hit me.” 

I stepped back aghast.  “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“You!” she screamed, throwing the suitcase off the bed.  “God dammit, Drew, I’m pregnant and you don’t give two fucks about me or this baby.”

“Where the hell do you get off?” I demanded.  “Have I not been to every doctor appointment?  Have I not taken care of your every financial need, even though you refuse to have a paternity test?”  My temper ignited into a rage of fury.  I could feel my pulse pounding in my temples.  I’d seen my father at this point of anger too many times not to know that my brow furrowed into deep lines and the vein in my neck pulsated.  “Have I not dropped everything in my life to be there for you and the baby?  I’ve done it all and I’ll continue to do it all.  But Olivia, that doesn’t give you permission to act like a lunatic bitch in my house.”

The silence from Olivia was deafening, and the evil asshole inside me pumped his fist at her reaction. 

“Financial help,” she swallowed.  “Yeah.  That’s all you give me.  Yet you won’t let me live here in this huge house with you.  You won’t even set up a room for the baby.”

I threw my arms up in the air.  “You want me to set up a nursery here?  Fine!  I’ll call a renovator when I get back if that’ll shut you up.”

“Shut me up?  Fuck you, Drew.  I don’t need your charity.”

“I don’t get you!” I screamed.  “Nothing I do ever satisfies you.”

“Where’s your compassion?”

“I show you compassion every damn day.  I don’t know what else I can do to make you happy.”

“You treat me like an investment!  I know what it looks like when you really care about someone, and the way you treat me doesn’t even begin to measure to that.  You loved me once!  I know you did.  And after the baby arrives, I know you’ll love me again.”

Shaking my hands in her face, exasperated, I emphasized once again, “I don’t love you!  I never loved you!  I will never love you!”

Olivia reached out, grabbing me by the shoulders and pulled me to her.  Before I could stop her, her lips crashed into mine.  My stomach lurched as she tried to slip her tongue into my mouth.  I jerked away, putting as much distance between us as I could.  My hand swiped across my lips in a vain attempted to expunge the putrid feeling of her mouth on mine.  There were no words to describe the amount of disgust I felt for her. 

“You can’t tell me you didn’t feel anything just then?” she sobbed.  Huge crocodile tears trickled down her cheeks, commingling with her black mascara.  “You felt it.  I know you did.”

“I felt nothing,” I spat.  “Don’t
ever
do that again.”

“Drew, please.”

“Please,
what
?  I’m done.  I won’t keep going around and around with you like this.  Let me say this for you as slow as possible to see if sinks into your head.  We’re. Not. A. Couple.  We’re never going to be a couple.  Do you get it?”

“Fine, but at least start treating me like the mother of your child and not a financial responsibility?”

“Have the paternity test done!”

“Treat me like I’m human.”

Frustrated, I linked my fingers over the top of my head, growling out my anger.  “I can’t win for losing here.”  I walked over to the French doors that lead to my balcony and threw them open.  A warm breeze from the Gulf poured into my room, heating my already hot skin.  The rain had dissipated days earlier, leaving the air hot and muggy.  I sighed, staring out over the shoreline.  Soft waves brushed across the beach.  A cloudless sky reminded me that the rain was gone, yet there was no moon to brighten the night.  “What do you want from me?” I asked, defeated.

“I want you treat me like you care.  You won’t touch me.  You only speak to me if I force you.  If I didn’t know better, I’d think you hated me and the baby.”

Keeping my back turned to Olivia; I dropped my head and sighed.   Not that I would admit it, but I didn’t care about her beyond the child.  She was the bane of my existence.  I didn’t trust her and I certainly didn’t love her.  The only connections we had were the baby and McKenzie, and in my opinion, it would remain that way.  But the fact that I felt no connection to the child ripped me to shreds.  What kind of a bastard doesn’t feel a bond to their baby?  I loved the child.  I didn’t want anything to happen to it, but I didn’t have that drive or yearning to be near Olivia’s stomach every chance I could get. And I knew that yearning all too well.  It was a feeling that haunted my dreams.  Time and distance hadn’t killed that memory.  Alcohol only numbed it.  No matter how I dissected the situation, the only logical conclusion I could contrive was the disconnection had to be in conjunction with my feelings toward Olivia.

“I don’t hate the baby.”

“But you hate me.”

I sighed.  There was nothing I could say.  I would never feel for Olivia the way she wanted.  The salty breeze caressed my face.  I closed my eyes, gripping the door frame.