The Child Whisperer (21 page)

Primary Emotional Need:
Support in sensing, exploring, and doing in the world

The Type 2 toddler can begin to gather more details about their world as they become more mobile crawling and walking. They want to connect with others, and this shows up in their speech patterns. Language skills develop in this stage and Type 2s start asking questions as soon as they can form the words.

A child’s diet usually includes a lot more variety in this stage of life. It is important to remember that Type 2s have the most sensitive nature of the Types in all aspects of their lives. Even certain foods can be too harsh for some Type 2s. I experienced this with my son, Chris. By 18 months old, he had eaten numerous food items that I had introduced into his diet, including cow’s milk, wheat and other allergy-prone foods. Chris developed numerous ear infections for several months, all treated by antibiotics that weakened his immune system. After much study, I discovered that his ear infections could be related to food allergies. I found a pediatrician who worked with me to clean up Chris’ diet and strengthen his immune system using natural interventions. Within six months, Chris was healthy and vital and I slowly reintroduced these foods into his diet. As I look back, I am sure that his more sensitive Type 2 nature definitely played a part in those early health problems.

Messages your Type 2 child needs to hear in this stage of life:

• It’s okay to be curious, to move, to touch, explore, and gather details about this world.
  
• We will make it safe for you to explore.
  
• You can be you and we will always love you.
  
• You can try out new things and find your own way of doing things.
  

• It’s okay for you to have questions and trust that your parents will have answers.
  
• You are so sensitive and kind.
  
• You are so pleasant and eager to make others comfortable; we are here to take care of you and make sure you are safe and comfortable.
  
• You bring peace to our family.
  
• I love you just the way you are.
  

Child Whisperer Tips to support this stage:
Type 2 children need to feel like they can move through the world comfortably and safely. Make sure your home environment supports them in moving freely. Consider that your Type 2 child will feel more comfortable and connected if they can see you while they play. Also make sure your Type 2 child has a quiet space where they can safely go by themselves to unwind and recharge.

Also pay attention to how your child’s sensitive nature responds to anything that may cause them discomfort from foods, environments, TV shows, and music that may cause them undue stress.

Pre-school 3 to 6 years

Primary Emotional Need:
Coming into their own identity and power.

You may find at this stage that your calm little Type 2 begins to get whiny, mopey, and grumpy. You may wonder where your calm, peaceful child went. These children get pouty and moody when they feel their feelings are not being heard, that they haven’t received enough attention, or that they are being pushed too hard.

They often come to realize that their soft-spoken nature doesn’t receive quite as much attention. Their whininess is just their misguided attempt to try and change that pattern. This is an important stage to recognize your child’s gentle voice and to make sure that they know you can hear it loud and clear. With how often these children hear the phrase, “Speak up,” a Type 2 child would do well to hear you say “I hear you” just a little more often.

Messages your Type 2 child needs to hear in this stage of life:

• It’s okay for you to take your time and think things through.
  
• You are learning what is right for you—trust your instincts.
  
• We are glad you are starting to think for yourself.
  
• We love to spend quiet time together with you.
  
• Your subtle and gentle energy is powerful. Trust it.
  
• You have great questions; thank you for always asking.
  
• Thank you for the peaceful energy you so willingly share with our family.
  
• You are an important member of the family. Your natural gifts and talents are a blessing to all of us.
  

Child Whisperer Tip to support this stage:
Since Type 2s experience the world emotionally, invite them frequently to share their feelings with you. Even if their language is not yet sophisticated enough to convey exactly what they want, this open invitation from you will lay a foundation of trust and openness. No matter how young they are, sometimes a Type 2 child just needs to be held and comforted while they process their feelings.

School Age 6 to 12 Years

Primary Emotional Need:
Fitting in, working with structure, knowing and learning

This is an important stage to watch for a child’s tendency to be
too
well-behaved. Are they sacrificing their true nature in order to feel liked or recognized in a group? Are they being too nice to so-called friends who take advantage of them? Are they always the peacemaker and the connector, getting caught in the middle of drama between friends?

During this stage, a Type 2 child might take on the belief that in order to fit in and have value, they need to take on and resolve others’ emotional problems. Help them clear this lie from their lives so they do not carry it into adulthood. How peaceful does your Type 2 child seem during quiet moments at home? That’s usually a good indicator of how well they feel their feelings are being heard and their needs are being met.

Messages your Type 2 child needs to hear in this stage of life:

• You are smart and brilliant, and you learn so intuitively.
  
• You are able to take whatever time works best for you.
  
• You can succeed at anything that feels right and honoring of you.
  
• Trust your emotional intuition.
  
• You deserve to succeed.
  
• Follow what is right for you. You don’t have to do things that do not honor you—and you can speak up about them.
  
• It is not your job to make sure everyone in the family gets along. We are in charge of our own happiness. We are in charge of our own feelings.
  

• Thanks for being so sensitive and easy to get along with.
  
• You never have to go along with something if it is not right for you.
  
• You have a right to have boundaries and know what is important to you.
  

Child Whisperer Tips to support this stage:
In this phase, Type 2 children enter school. Your Type 2 child will generally work well within structures presented to them. They are most likely to be polite, quiet, and well-behaved in classrooms. But don’t let that throw you off the trail of identifying your Type 2 child’s Energy Type correctly if they get a little rowdy in class or loud with their friends. Their movement is fluid and flowing, but that doesn’t mean these children are quiet all the time. In fact, some of them might even get a little
too
rowdy in social settings, especially when they’re trying to gain attention they feel they are not getting enough of.

Ask your Type 2 child often how he or she feels about their life. Read them the Type 2 section of this book or share this information in a way they will relate to. If you have not been parenting your sensitive child true to their nature by this stage of life, you will likely see signs of stress in their behavior and feelings, including emotional withdrawal and moodiness. You can easily heal this pattern together with your child by being honest and accountable as a parent.

High School 12 to 18 Years

Primary Emotional Need:
Separating and creating independence from the family

In this stage of a Type 2 child’s life, friends become very important. Due to their natural need for connection, they will form close friendships that they cherish deeply. Their peers enjoy their relaxing energy and often feel safe to confide in them.

Messages your Type 2 child needs to hear in this stage of life:

• You can connect with friends however it feels most comfortable to you.
  
• You do not need to please others to be loved.
  
• You can take all the time you need to grow up.
  
• We are happy with your choices.
  
• It is okay to make mistakes.
  
• You can take your time to make a plan.
  
• You can gather all the details that you feel are important to you.
  
• You don’t have to answer all the questions that come to your mind.
  
• Good for you to move forward with a plan you’ve made.
  
• You can develop your own relationships, interests, and causes.
  
• You can learn about sex and be responsible for your needs, feelings, and behaviors.
  

Child Whisperer Tips to support this stage:
In this stage you may notice a push-pull process going on with your Type 2 child. Their emotional development is encouraging them to become more independent from you and to learn to operate more autonomously in the world. With their nature being so oriented to connection with others, this can feel a bit awkward and scary to them at times. Be patient as your Type 2 moves through this emotional development reassuring them along the way that you are always there for them no matter what and you will always maintain a deep and lasting connection with them.

It’s Never Too Late!

Even if your Type 2 child has grown past any of these stages, you can still validate and meet their emotional needs. We are all every age we have ever been and we still carry our earlier unmet emotional needs with us. If your Type 2 daughter is 16 years old, you can still validate and affirm all the previous stages of her development. Even if your son is in his 30s or 40s, he would benefit from the messages in this book that he has not yet received from you as his parent. Your Type 2 child is sensitive at any age and will respond to your earnest attempts for connection. If you are a Type 2 adult, you can tell yourself the messages you did not receive during your childhood to heal some of your own inner child’s unmet needs.

Most of my work in the field of Energy Psychology helps adults heal their inner child’s unmet needs. What a gift when a parent shows up and meets their needs at any age! It’s never to late to become a better parent.

The Child Whisperer’s Top 10
Things

A Type 2 Child Needs From You!

To summarize, I’ve put together a brief list of what I feel are some of the most important points to remember when parenting a Type 2, sensitive child. This general list will be supportive to all Type 2 children. My goal with this list (and this book) is to bring out your own Child Whisperer gifts. As a Child Whisperer, you will receive your
own
inspiration, specific to your particular child. Make sure you write down those aha’s!