The Choice (22 page)

“Oh, that’s great. Congratulations. I’m glad you won . . . sounds like you had fun. . . . Oh, me? Nothing too exciting.”

Hearing Kevin’s voice while being so close to Travis was pulling her in two directions. She tried to concentrate and listen to Kevin, while sorting through what had just happened with Travis. The situation was too surreal to absorb.

“I’m sorry to hear that. . . . I know, I get sunburned, too. . . . Uh-huh . . . uh-huh . . . Yes, I’ve thought about the trip to Miami, but I don’t get any vacation days until the end of the year. . . . Maybe, I don’t know. . . .”

She released Travis’s leg and leaned back against the couch, trying to keep her voice steady, wishing she hadn’t answered, wishing he hadn’t called. Knowing she was only becoming more confused. “We’ll see, okay? We’ll talk about it when you get back. . . . No, nothing’s wrong. I’m just tired, I guess. . . . No, nothing to worry about. It’s been a long weekend. . . .”

It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth, either, and she knew it, which made her feel even worse. Travis was staring downward, listening but pretending not to.

“I will,” she went on. “Yeah, you, too . . . Uh-huh . . . yeah, I should be around. . . . Okay . . . I do, too. And have fun tomorrow. Bye.”

Hanging up the phone, she seemed preoccupied for a moment before leaning forward and putting the handset on the table. Travis knew enough not to say anything.

“That was Kevin,” she finally said.

“I figured,” Travis said, unable to read her expression.

“He won the best ball tournament today.”

“Good for him.”

Again, a silence descended between them.

“I think I need some fresh air,” she finally said, rising from the couch. She made her way to the sliding glass door and stepped outside.

Travis watched her go, wondering if he should join her or whether she needed to be alone. From his spot on the couch, her image against the railing was shadowed. He could imagine heading out to join her, only to hear her suggest that it might be best if he left, and though the thought frightened him, he needed to be with her, now more than ever.

He made his way out the door and joined her against the rail. In the moonlight, her skin was pearly, her eyes darkly luminous.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Don’t be. There’s nothing for you to be sorry for.” She forced a smile. “It’s my fault, not yours. I knew what I was getting into.”

Gabby could sense that he wanted to touch her, but she was torn about whether she wanted him to. She knew she should end this, that she shouldn’t let the evening progress any further, but she couldn’t break the spell that Travis’s declaration had cast over her. It didn’t make sense. It took time to fall in love, more time than a single weekend, yet somehow, despite her feelings for Kevin, it had happened. She sensed Travis’s nervousness as he stood beside her, and she watched him fortify himself with a last sip of wine.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” she asked. “About wanting a family?”

“Yes, I did.”

“I’m glad,” she said. “Because I think you’d be a great father. I didn’t tell you before, but that’s what I thought when I saw you with the kids yesterday. You seemed so natural with them.”

“I’ve had a lot of experience with puppies.”

Despite the tension, she laughed. She took a small step closer to him, and when he turned to face her, she slipped her arms around his neck. She could hear the little voice inside warning her to stop, telling her that it still wasn’t too late to end this. But another urge had taken hold of her, and she knew it was pointless to deny it.

“Maybe so, but I thought it was sexy,” she whispered.

Travis pulled her tight against him, noticing how her body seemed to fit against his. He could smell a trace of jasmine perfume on her, and as they stood holding each other, his senses seemed to come alive. He felt as if he’d reached the end of a long journey, unaware until this moment that Gabby had been his destination all along. When he whispered, “I love you, Gabby Holland,” against her ear, he’d never felt more sure about anything.

Gabby sank into him.

“I love you, too, Travis Parker,” she whispered, and as they stood in each other’s arms, Gabby couldn’t imagine wanting anything more than what was happening now, all regrets and reservations swept aside.

He kissed her, then kissed her again and again, leisurely exploring her neck and collarbone before rising to meet her lips once more. She ran her hands over his chest and shoulders, feeling the strength in the arms that held her, and when he buried his fingers in her hair, she shivered, knowing that this was what the weekend had been building toward all along.

They kissed on the deck for a long time. Finally she pulled back, and took his hand to lead him inside, past the living room and toward the bedroom. She motioned toward the bed, and as Travis lay down, she pulled a lighter from the drawer and proceeded to light the candles she’d set out earlier. Her bedroom, dark at first, gave way to a flickering glow that bathed her in liquid gold.

With shadows accentuating her every movement, Travis watched as Gabby crossed her arms, reaching for the hem of her shirt. With a single movement, she pulled the shirt over her head. Her breasts pressed against the satin outline of her bra, and her hands drifted slowly downward to the snap on her jeans. A moment later, she stepped out of the crumpled pile at her feet.

Travis was mesmerized as she moved toward the bed and playfully pushed him onto his back. She began to undo the buttons on his shirt and pulled it over his shoulders. As he wiggled his arms free, she undid the snap on his jeans, and a moment later, he felt the heat from her belly as it slid against his own.

His mouth met hers with controlled passion. Her body felt right against his, more right than anything she’d ever known, like missing pieces in a puzzle finally coming together.

Afterward, he lay beside her and said the words that had been echoing inside his head all night.

“I love you, Gabby,” he whispered. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

He felt her reach out for him.

“I love you, too, Travis,” she whispered, and upon hearing her words, he knew that the solitary journey he’d been on for years had somehow reached its end.

With the moon still high in the sky and the silver light illuminating the bedroom, Travis rolled over, knowing instantly that Gabby was gone. It was almost four in the morning, and after noting that she wasn’t in the bathroom, he got up and slipped on his jeans. He walked down the hall and peeked into the guest bedroom before poking his head into the kitchen. All the lights were off, and he hesitated for a moment before noticing that the sliding glass door was cracked open.

He stepped out onto the small deck, catching sight of a shadowed figure leaning against the deck railing off to the side of the house. He took a hesitant step toward her, unsure if she wanted to be alone.

“Hey,” he heard a voice call out in the darkness. Travis saw she was wearing the bathrobe that had been hanging in the bathroom.

“Hey there,” he answered quietly. “You okay?”

“I’m fine. I woke up and tossed and turned for a while, but I didn’t want to wake you.”

Stopping just short of her, he leaned against the rail as well, neither of them speaking. Instead, they simply watched the sky. Nothing seemed to be stirring; even the crickets and frogs were silent.

“It’s so lovely out here,” she finally said.

“Yes, it is,” he answered.

“I love nights like this.”

When she said nothing else, he moved closer and reached for her hand. “Are you upset by what happened?”

“Not at all,” she said, her voice clear. “I don’t regret any of it.”

He smiled. “What are you thinking about?”

“I was thinking about my dad,” she mused, leaning into him. “In a lot of ways, he reminds me of you. You’d like him.”

“I’m sure I would,” he said, uncertain where the conversation was going.

“I was thinking about the way he must have felt when he met my mom for the first time. What was going through his mind when he saw her, whether he was nervous, what he said when he approached her.”

Travis stared at her. “And?”

“I have no idea.”

When he laughed, she looped her arm through his. “Is the hot tub at your place still warm?” she asked.

“Should be. I haven’t checked it, but I’m sure it’s okay.”

“Do you want to go for a dip?”

“I’d have to get my suit, but that sounds great.”

She squeezed him tight against her, then leaned toward his ear. “Who said you needed a suit?”

Travis said nothing as they crossed the yard to his hot tub. As he lifted off the cover, he saw her bathrobe slip from her shoulders and glimpsed her naked body, knowing how much he loved her and that these last couple of days were somehow going to mark his life forever.

Fourteen

T
hough they both returned to work on Monday, over the next two days Travis and Gabby spent every free moment together. They made love on Monday morning before work, had lunch together at a small, family-owned café in Morehead City, and that evening, with Molly feeling better, they took both dogs for a walk on the beach near Fort Macon. As they walked, holding hands, Moby and Molly wandered the beach ahead like two old friends who’d grown used to their differences. When Moby chased terns and charged toward flocks of seagulls, Molly would hold her course, acting as if she wanted no part of it. After a while, Moby would realize that Molly was no longer alongside him and would bound back to her, and the two would trot happily together until Moby went nuts again and the whole thing repeated itself.

“That’s kind of like the way we are, huh?” Gabby remarked as she squeezed Travis’s hand. “One always chasing excitement, the other holding back?”

“Which one am I?”

She laughed and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. Stopping, he took her in his arms, amazed and terrified by the strength of his feelings. But when she lifted her face to kiss him, he felt his fears begin to melt away, replaced by a growing sense of completion. He wondered whether love felt like this for everyone.

Afterward, they stopped at the grocery store. Neither of them was very hungry, so Travis picked up the makings for a chicken Caesar salad. In the kitchen, he grilled the chicken and watched Gabby rinse the lettuce leaves at the sink. Curled up on the couch after dinner, Gabby told Travis more about her family, arousing a mixture of sympathy for Gabby and anger at her mother for failing to recognize what an incredible woman Gabby had become. That night, they lay intertwined in each other’s arms until long after midnight.

On Tuesday morning, Travis was at her side just as she was beginning to stir. She cracked open an eye.

“Is it time to get up?”

“I guess so,” he mumbled.

They lay facing each other without moving before Travis went on. “You know what sounds good? Fresh coffee and a cinnamon roll.”

“Yum,” she said. “Too bad we don’t have time. I’ve got to be at the office at eight. You shouldn’t have kept me awake so long last night.”

“Just close your eyes and wish real hard, and maybe your wish will come true.”

Too tired to do anything else, she did what he suggested, longing for just another couple of minutes in bed.

“And there it is!” she heard him say.

“What?” she mumbled.

“Your coffee. And a cinnamon roll.”

“Don’t tease me. I’m starved.”

“It’s right there. Roll over and see for yourself.”

She struggled to sit up and saw two steaming cups of coffee and a mouthwatering cinnamon roll on a plate on the nightstand.

“When did you . . . I mean, why did you . . . ?”

“A few minutes ago.” He grinned. “I was awake anyway, so I raced downtown.”

She reached for both the coffees and handed one to him, smiling. “I’d kiss you right now, but this smells great and I’m starved. I’ll kiss you later.”

“In the shower, maybe?”

“There’s always a catch with you, isn’t there?”

“Be nice. I just brought you breakfast in bed.”

“I know,” she said with a wink. She reached for her roll. “And I’m going to enjoy it.”

On Tuesday evening, Travis took Gabby out on the boat, where they watched the sun go down from the waters off Beaufort. Gabby had been quiet ever since she’d returned home from work, which was why he’d suggested it; it was his way of trying to put off the conversation he knew was coming.

An hour later, seated on Travis’s deck with Molly and Moby lying at their feet, Travis finally gave in to the inevitable.

“What’s going to happen next?” he asked.

Gabby rotated the water glass in her hands. “I’m not sure,” she said in a low voice.

“Do you want me to talk to him?”

“It’s not that simple.” She shook her head. “I’ve been trying all day to figure it out, and I’m still not sure what I’m going to do, or even what I’m going to say to him.”

“You’re going to tell him about us, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I really don’t.” She turned to Travis, her eyes filled with tears. “Don’t get mad at me. Please don’t. Believe me when I say that I know how this makes you feel, because it makes me feel the same way. In the last few days, you’ve made me feel . . . alive. You make me feel beautiful and intelligent and wanted, and no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be able to tell you how much that’s meant to me. But as intense as all this has been, as much as I care about you, we’re not the same people, and you’re not facing the same kind of decision that I am. For you, it’s easy—we love each other, so we should be together. But Kevin is important to me, too.”

“What about all those things you said?” Travis asked, trying not to sound as scared as he felt.

“He’s not perfect, Travis. I know that. And no, things aren’t great between us right now. But I can’t help thinking that it’s partly my fault. Can’t you see that? With him, I have all these expectations, but with you . . . I don’t have any. And if you reversed the equation, would any of this have even happened? What if I had expected you to marry me, but with him, I just allowed myself to enjoy being in the moment? You wouldn’t have given me the time of day, and most likely I wouldn’t have wanted you to.”