The Chosen (47 page)

“You weren’t at breakfast.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“That doesn’t answer mine.”

She deepened her scowl. He held her gaze. However she was much more practiced in the art of patience than he was. He backed down first.

Shrugging he said, “Not long. Now why weren’t you at breakfast?”

“I wasn’t hungry.”

“Strange considering how long we rode against the storm,” he commented casually.

“Perhaps for pampered nobility,” she returned hotly. “I’m accustomed to eating less.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. She ignored him and stroked Lerina who was starting to sense the tension in Kathryn’s body.

“Is it any good?”

His question confused her. “Is what any good?”

David nodded to the book in her lap. “You were so focused on the story that you didn’t even hear me approach. I can only assume that it’s a good book.”

She glanced half-heartedly at the scroll. It really wasn’t that great of a book, just a distraction really. “It’s okay, it takes my mind off the…situation.”

“Funny, I see a warm bed, hot food, and a strong shelter to reside in during one of the worst storms I’ve ever seen, a stroke of luck not a situation.”

She had to tramp down the urge to blast him with a wall of water. Mockery was not something she tolerated, especially from him. “I just want to be home,” she finally said.

Lerina snorted softly, blowing spittle and bits of hay across Kathryn’s shoulder. A small grin tweaked the corner of her mouth and she gave the horse an affectionate pat.

He pushed himself off the door and came into the stall. “The maid who did your hair is going to be furious,” he chuckled.

“Why?”

“Because you are covered in hay,” he reached out to brush some hay off of her cloak, but truncated the motion when she flinched reflexively. His eyes hardened. “It happened here, didn’t it?” He asked.

She sent him a confused look, “Did what happen here?”

“The abuse, it happened here.”

She stiffened. “We are
not
talking about that. I think I’ve made that perfectly clear before.”

“Yes, but that was before we arrived here. I can see it in your eyes, Kath—Caterina. It happened here. If you were given the option, you would ride straight out into that storm and never come back, wouldn’t you?”

“You know nothing.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, “If you’re so adamant about it, then why don’t you come back inside?”

The idea chilled her and unfortunately he somehow noticed. He sat down next to her.               “What happened?”

“We aren’t discussing it,” she told him coldly.

“You need to.”

“I don’t want to, nor do I need to.”

“You can’t go through life alone.”

“With the…rest of you guys around, I’ll never be alone.”

He sighed. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.” He stood and brushed off the hay off of his clothing. “Come back inside. Please,” he added, “Amy’s worried to death but she can’t come looking for you herself. Let her see you and know that you’re still alive.”

For Amy she would. She reluctantly got up and followed him back into the manor.

Before they entered the manor, Kathryn took the time to pick out all the bits of straw from her hair. David inspected it and nodded his approval. “It looks alright.”

She returned the book she had borrowed to the library, picked out a new one, and made her way back to her room. Soon after her arrival a servant appeared bearing a tray. Savory scents wafted from the tray and Kathryn realized that, after going without dinner last night and skipping breakfast this morning, she was hungry.

Lunch consisted of a small roasted field bird, with two sauces for dipping, fresh bread, and an assortment of seasonal fruits. It was, admittedly, delicious. She kept away from the wine that had been sent with the fare and tossed the glass’s contents out of the window and into the storm.

Contentedly full, she relaxed against the couch and enjoyed a few moments of blessed peace.  A knock sounded at her door. She frowned. If it was David again she was going to stab him.

She was surprised to find Jenna standing outside her door and she quickly let her in. “We missed you at breakfast,” Jenna said gently, but without preamble.

“David mentioned something along those lines,” Kathryn said as she retook her place on the couch.

Slowly, Jenna lowered herself onto the settee opposite Kathryn. “Amy was worried about you,” she said quietly.

Kathryn suspected David was the one who had really sent her and tried to give a reasonable answer. “I’m not sure why, I’ve always worked to avoid such situations.”

“How did you sleep?” Jenna asked, and then she leaned forward and spoke quietly, “I’m asking you as a healer and a friend, and whatever you say won’t leave this room.”

Kathryn knew exactly how well she had slept –not at all—but she wasn’t comfortable divulging that particular fact. “I slept a little less than I normally do at home, which in a strange environment is to be expected I would guess.” Surely that was an answer that would satisfy the healer.

Jenna, however, frowned. “Considering how hard we rode and how roughly the storm battered us, you should have been tired enough to sleep a week.”

Kathryn frantically sought an answer. “It was the wind,” she said quietly. “I wasn’t used to its howling and it kept me up for a while.”

That seemed to appease Jenna who nodded, “It certainly sounds terrifying when you’re in a strange room all alone. I know I was scared, at least for a little while.”

“The lightning and thunder probably didn’t help either,” Kathryn added, surprised by the sympathy she was starting to feel towards Jenna. The girl was the gentlest soul Kathryn had ever met and had no doubt found this adventure trying. “I wonder why David didn’t just,” she paused, “you know…”

Jenna shrugged helplessly. “Maybe he didn’t feel he was strong enough?”

That was a reasonable conclusion. Usually a Guardian’s power wasn’t nearly strong enough to compete with a storm the size of the one that was still running rampant across the countryside.

Jenna spoke again. “So can I tell Amy that you’re okay and assure her that you aren’t dying?”

Kathryn felt a small smile part her lips. “Why don’t you just send her by later? She’ll still fret and worry after you talk to her until she actually sees me.”

The healer stood. “Okay. Will you stay in your room all day?”

“Probably.” Kathryn shrugged. “It’s not like we can explore the grounds in this weather.”
Not that I’d ever want to…

“True.”

Jenna left and Kathryn waited for the inevitable arrival of Amy. To pass the time she started the new book she’d picked out from the library. The first one had become too boring and too political to hold her interest and now that she started reading it she had to admit that the new one wasn’t that much better. She’d felt rushed in the library and hadn’t taken the time to pick out an engaging book, and she was afraid she’d pay for it with the inescapable arrival of more memories.

She did.

“Girl!” The shrill voice startled a weary Kathryn from a sound sleep. Already rolling out of bed she hurried to the kitchen where her aunt was impatiently waiting. Upon entering the kitchen she lowered her eyes to the floor and waited.

“You call this clean!” her aunt shrieked, shoving a cooking pot beneath Kathryn’s face. “It’s filthy! Everything is filthy. Clean it again! Clean everything again.” The woman threw the pot to the floor and it clattered across the flagstones. “And while you’re at it,” her aunt declared as she exited the room, “wash the floor too.”

Holding back tears, Kathryn knelt down and picked up the pot. It had several new dents in its side that would have to be pounded back into the correct shape…and it would take her radians.

Wearily she glanced toward the collection of cooking pots. It wasn’t a large collection, at least not compared to what would be found in a manor or palace, in truth it was a very small collection, but for a five-year-old girl it was a chore that would leave her exhausted. Resigned, Kathryn sat down on the kitchen floor and began to scrub.

Her arms began to ache a radian into the chore and they trembled constantly within the second radian, by the third radian she had finally managed to scour the pots until her own dingy reflection was reflected in the golden red of the metal. Just in case her aunt decided that the chore hadn’t taken long enough, Kathryn washed them all once more for good measure.

Then she started on the floor. Heating the water was the easiest part of the chore, but pouring that hot water into a bucket with soap scrapings was the hardest. She already had several burns on her arms and legs from not being able to control the heavy pot. Today was no exception. By the time the bucket was full of hot water, she had new burns on her arms and one on her chest.

Arms trembling and chest burning, Kathryn knelt and began to wash the stones.

A knock on her door brought Kathryn back to reality and she forced herself to move to the doorway.

“Yes?” She called through the heavy wood, vowing not to open the door to anyone but Amy.

“Lady Caterina? It’s Lady Amira,” Amy’s concerned voice came through the door. “Lady Jenevive mentioned that you weren’t feeling well.”

Sighing, Kathryn opened the door and let her friend in.

Amy took one look at her and her own brow furrowed. “You haven’t been sleeping,” she stated bluntly. When Kathryn opened her mouth to protest, Amy held up her hand. “Don’t bother trying to deny it. I can see it on your face. You may be able to fool Jenna and David, but we’ve known each other too long for you to be able to hide it from me.”

It was a testimony to her fatigue and emotional state that Kathryn realized she wanted to pout. It was humiliating. But Amy was right, she had seen enough of Kathryn’s late nights and midnight awakenings to recognize the signs.

“Fine,” Kathryn conceded. “I’m not sleeping. Happy?”

“No. Why aren’t you sleeping?”

Kathryn felt her eyes narrow. “Did David send you up here?”

“I sent David and Jenna to find you. Where in the kingdom did you disappear to?”

“I went to make sure Lerina was okay.” It was a lame excuse and Kathryn knew it, but even she couldn’t admit to Amy that she’d been hiding from everybody.

“All morning?”

“I had a bath first.”

“So you had a bath and then went to visit the stables…most noblewomen do that the other way around.”

Kathryn threw up her hands and turned toward the window. “I’m not like most noblewomen…what’s it to you?”

Amy ignored the jab. “You haven’t been acting like yourself lately. Are Natalie and Lindsey still bothering you?”

“No, we’re fine. I just…I don’t know…” She did know, but she didn’t want to get into it with Amy, David, Jenna, or anybody.

Her friend sighed. “I can’t stay long, but I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m alive, that will suffice until we get home.”

“You may be alive, but you don’t live,” her friend replied softly before exiting the room.

Amy shut the door and, fighting back tears, she moved to Jenna’s room. Inside both the healer and David waited, expectation written on their faces. She shook her head. “She’s not in a very cooperative mood,” she told them dejectedly.

“We didn’t really expect her to be,” Jenna reminded her softly.

“It’s like she’s a different person!” Amy exclaimed in frustration. “She practically took my head off and she’s never done that before. Usually she just changes the subject, but today…something is wrong.”

“I think this place is the key to Kathryn’s past,” David stated quietly.

Amy felt lightheaded. “Blackwood Manor?”

He nodded. “She introduced herself as Caterina to the Lord and Lady and hasn’t appeared at any meal. Whatever happened to her, it happened here.”

Jenna shook her head. “You can’t be sure, David. There could be any number of reasons for her to be acting strangely.”

“What else could make her act so wounded?” Amy asked tiredly. “She’s usually so unflappable.”

Jenna shifted uncomfortably. “I can think of one thing that might have caused her to…withdraw so much.”

Amy was completely lost. “What?”

“Something that could have happened at court…” Jenna looked like she didn’t even want to consider the possibility…like she couldn’t even speak it.

Amy was about to beg Jenna just to spit it out when she heard David’s quick intake of breath.

“You think she might have been…” he paused, as if searching for a kinder term, “…violated.”

Amy sat down on the bed—hard. “No. No way. Kathryn would never permit something like that, she’d kill him first.”

Jenna looked apologetic. “Kathryn’s very innocent in the ways of a married couple,” she replied quietly. “She might not have understood until it was too late.”

“No,” Amy replied firmly. “Kathryn may be innocent, but she wouldn’t let anyone get within three meters of her who would have been thinking about it.”

“She might not have realized it until it was too late,” Jenna reiterated…she paused and looked down at the floor. “I didn’t.”

Her words were barely audible but Amy felt a shock run through her. “Jen?” she whispered.

The healer looked up, pain written across her features. “All I’m saying is that you can’t always know.”

David placed a hand on her shoulder, “I am so sorry that someone put you through that,” he said quietly. “But in this case, I believe Amy’s right. Kathryn wouldn’t let anyone get close to her, she doesn’t drink wine so she would have been able to think clearly, and, let’s face it, Kathryn would kill anyone who attempted to force her to do something she didn’t want to do.
And if she couldn’t handle it, that crazy bird of hers most certainly would.” He paused, remembering Kathryn’s conversation with Roseanna while she had been clinging to Sebastian’s tower. “And I don’t think she’s as innocent as we think. She would know.”

For a few moments Jenna thought of how Destiny killed the boar and shuddered at what she might be able to do to a man. “It’s just a possibility,” she said quietly after a few seconds. “You could be right, David. It could be that Kathryn’s past is here…but we don’t know that for sure. She doesn’t talk about it and refuses any overtures we offer.”

David smiled grimly. “Actually, she did mention her past once to me. She mentioned learning hidden movement courtesy of Blackwood Manor.”

“Well then, I hope you’re right and not me, because I don’t want anyone else to go through what I did.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” David offered gently.

She gave him a weak smile. “Thank you, but no. I’ve talked about it and moved on. No sense in digging up what’s past.” The flicker in her eyes gave away her lie, but Amy knew that now was not the time to help their healer.

“If you’re sure…”

“Positive.”

He smiled at her. “Well then, we have several radians to kill before dinner. As much as I want to shake Kathryn and get her to listen to reason, I suggest we leave her alone for a few radians and let her collect herself for dinner. If I have to order her there I will, but it will raise more than a few eyebrows if she doesn’t attend.”

“Just make sure you’re wearing your arrow-proof armor,” Amy said. “If you have to order her to attend, in the mood she’s in, she’ll probably shoot you.”

“At least I can count on her excellent aim to make it a quick death.”

Amy snorted. “Don’t get your hopes up. With all the abuse she’s been through, she probably knows how to cause pain and make sure it lingers.”

“Thank you, Amy. I now bestow upon you the job of ordering her to dinner.”

“She’s a higher rank than me. You’re the only one in the family who can order her to do anything.”

He sighed. “I knew being a leader was going to be hazardous to my health.”

Dinnertime finally arrived and David stationed himself outside of Kathryn’s room. She had received his order with as much enthusiasm as Amy had predicted, but fortunately her bow had been nowhere in sight and he’d survived the encounter intact. Now he was waiting for her to appear.