The Christmas Children (16 page)

Keith Garner half rose from the couch. “No! I can't face them looking the way I do.”

“If you won't assume your responsibility as a father, at least make some arrangements to give them up for adoption. They're terrified that they'll be separated if Social Services get involved. Miss Whitmore has volunteered to adopt them. She's financially able to give them a home.”

“Are you and the lady going to marry?”

“I'm only in New York for a leave of absence from my job in eastern Europe. I'm leaving the country in less than a week. Carissa will do it on her own.”

“I'd feel lower than a snake to give my kids away, but I'm afraid to take them. My record is so bad, I can't get a decent job. People don't trust me, and I don't even trust myself.”

“Mr. Garner, you have to see the children and tell them why you abandoned them.”

“They're too young to understand.”

“Believe me, Alex and Lauren have grown up mighty fast in the past five years. You can't walk out on them again without giving them some closure and making provisions for their future. Look me in the eye and tell me, man to man, if I can trust you to stay here in the apartment and see those kids tomorrow. It's the best Christmas gift you can give them. They're feeling very alone in the world.”

Keith Garner reached out his hand to Paul, and Paul clasped it firmly. “I'll do what you ask. I'll be grateful for a warm place to sleep.”

“Where have you been staying?”

“In the fishing huts on the lake at night and in the woods during the day. I've been here four or five days.”

Taking in the man's lightweight clothing, Paul didn't know how he'd survived the cold weather. And judging from the pallor of his skin and the lack-luster look in his eyes, Paul figured that Keith Garner was seriously ill. He knew he was taking a chance, but what else could he do? Perhaps he should guard the man all night, but first, he needed to tell Carissa what had happened.

“I have a disposable razor in the bathroom that you're welcome to use. I'll also lay out some towels and other things for you to use as you shower.”

When he returned to the living room, Paul carried two heavy blankets. “I'll leave the heat where it is, so you should be comfortable.”

“Thank you, Mr. Spencer. In spite of what you think, I do love my kids. I won't desert them this time.”

Paul didn't lock the apartment. If Keith Garner had a mind to, he could get out. But in his condition, he wouldn't get far before the authorities picked him up.

Right now, he was more worried about Carissa than he was about the kids or their father. She didn't know what she was getting into taking on the responsibility of caring for three children, but she would be disappointed if Keith Garner took them with him. Paul hated to disturb her, but he doubted she was asleep, anyway, and he had to talk to her before morning.

Inside the house he took off his boots and went quietly upstairs. He could hear Julie and Lauren breathing softly as he tiptoed across their room. In the faint glow of the bathroom's night-light, Paul saw Carissa sitting upright in the bed, her hand to her throat.

He went close to the bed and whispered, “Come downstairs—we need to talk.”

When she joined him a few minutes later, he said, “Let's go in my bedroom and close the door.”

There he motioned Carissa to a chair and sat on the side of the bed. “The kids' father is over in the apartment.”

Carissa gasped. “What!”

He put his hand softly on her lips in a bid for silence. “He's the one who's been watching the house. I saw him tonight and waylaid him. He's skin and bones, so it wasn't any trouble to confront him.”

“Where's he been for five years? And how did he find out where the kids are?”

Paul told her briefly what Keith Garner had said.

“What have you done with him?”

He explained how he'd found Keith Garner and brought him to the apartment, and left him there for the night.

“Is that wise?”

“Probably not, but I couldn't turn him out into the cold. He's been sleeping in the fishing huts on the lake.”

Carissa shivered and pulled her robe tighter.

“I don't want him to get away again. He's willing to let you adopt the children.”

“Oh!” Carissa said, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

“I still think it's too much responsibility for you, Carissa. Naomi will be back in a month. Where will you take them to live?”

“I don't know. I'm scared stiff, but I told them I'd adopt them if I could. I won't back out now.”

Paul leaned toward her, and she lifted her face to
his. “They couldn't find a more wonderful mother,” he said, “but I don't want you to do it.”

It flashed into his mind that without the children, he could take Carissa with him on the job site. It was crude living compared to what she was used to, but he figured she would be able to cope with the rigorous life. He thought of the sightseeing they could do in Europe—almost like a two-year honeymoon. But would he still feel the same if they hadn't been involved with the children, who had seemed to give them a sense of closeness they might not have had otherwise?

“What kind of man is he?” she asked, interrupting his thoughts.

“He seems to have some pride, and he probably could have been a useful citizen if he wasn't addicted to drugs.”

“Just like my mother. That's what started her downhill slide.”

He didn't want her to start thinking about her mother. “I shouldn't have bothered you tonight, but I thought you should know before the kids did.”

“I wasn't asleep, anyway. I heard you go out, and I was worrying about you. When I saw the lights on in your apartment, I was really scared.”

“It's nice to have someone worrying about me,” he said softly, taking her hands. She was so close and so desirable, but Paul set bounds on his emotions. He was in no position to offer Carissa anything
except this moment. So he lifted one of her hands and placed a kiss in the palm.

As she left the room, Carissa felt a deep sense of disappointment. Paul would soon go out of her life, and she couldn't do anything about it.

T
hey'd opened one gift each on Christmas Eve, but the thought of packages under the tree catapulted the kids from their beds as soon as it became daylight. Carissa hadn't had more than an hour of sleep, so she reluctantly left her warm bed to follow the girls downstairs to where Paul and Alex waited.

Paul and Carissa had agreed that they shouldn't go overboard in buying gifts, but each child had one large gift of clothing, and smaller gifts of books or games. They'd bought a piece of jewelry for each of the girls and a pair of skates for Alex.

Carissa's gift to Paul was a digital camera, and her box from him contained a diamond bracelet. Carissa's heart was touched by the gift, but her eyes promised Paul that she'd thank him properly when they were alone. His answering smile indicated that he understood.

“Let's pick up the paper and ribbons, then get dressed so we can have breakfast,” Carissa said.

“Want us to take our presents upstairs?” Lauren asked.

Carissa shook her head. “No, let's leave them under the tree for now.”

After the kids scampered to their bedroom, Paul said, “I'll check on our visitor. Shall I bring him over?”

“Might as well get it over with. If he's still here.”

“Do we have anything the children could give him as a gift?” Paul asked.

“I bought a tin container of butter cookies that hasn't been opened. Would that do?”

“I should think so. Undoubtedly, the man hasn't had enough to eat.”

“Should we invite him to eat breakfast with us?”

“Let's play it by ear—see how the children react to him.”

 

Keith Garner was sitting on the couch watching television when Paul entered the apartment. He'd shaved, and trimmed and washed his hair. He'd tried to make himself presentable, and it helped that his clothes were wrinkled but not dirty.

“I helped myself to another slice of bread—hope you don't mind.”

“Not at all.”

“Have you told the children I'm here?”

“No—it will be a surprise.”

“Maybe not a very pleasant one.”

“I don't know. They've opened their Christmas gifts, and they're dressing now. In the meantime, let's talk. If you do let Carissa adopt the children, their future is secure. But what about you? You can't be more than in your late thirties. I hate to see a man throw his life away. If Carissa adopts the children, I can at least do something for you. I'll pay for a rehabilitation program for you at a good facility.”

“It's too late for that.”

Suspecting strongly that Keith Garner didn't expect to live long, Paul still insisted, “It's worth a try.”

“I'll think about it.”

Paul went into the bedroom and brought out a heavy coat that he'd worn when he was several pounds lighter.

“Try this coat on. It will be warmer than the one you have. I'm not in this country much in the winter, so it's practically new.”

After spending a night in the warmth of the apartment, Garner appeared less haggard. Perhaps the children's first look at their father wouldn't be too shattering, but Paul figured that five years had made quite a change in Keith Garner's appearance.

When Paul and Keith stepped up on the deck, the children were sitting on the floor around the Christmas tree, examining their gifts. Carissa was working in the kitchen, and she looked up quickly when Paul opened the door.

Hiding Keith Garner behind him, Paul said, “Kids, you have another gift, too.”

He stepped aside to let their father enter the room first. Carissa came from the kitchen as Alex jumped to his feet, his face flooded with a mixture of emotions that she couldn't figure out. He was such a bewildering boy. What if he rejected his father!

“Papa,” Lauren cried, and she ran to him. “Mama died,” she said, sobbing and clinging to the man, whose own cheeks were stained with tears. He patted her back.

“I know, Lauren.”

Julie stared at her father as she sidled over to Paul and leaned against him. The questioning, lost look she turned on him threatened his composure.

“It's your father, Julie. Go speak to him.”

While she hesitated, Alex, who'd been standing like a statue, turned an angry look on his father. “Where have you been?” Alex said defiantly. “Mom wanted so much to see you before she died. I hate you.”

“I don't blame you, son. I hate myself.”

“Let's sit down,” Paul said. “Your father has a few things to tell you. Mr. Garner, this is Carissa Whitmore. She's been looking after the children for about a month.”

“For which I thank you, ma'am.”

When they sat down, Carissa coveted Julie's position in the safe harbor of Paul's arms. She felt alone and vulnerable. Lauren sat in the chair beside her
father. Alex stood in front of the fireplace, his back to the rest of them. A tense silence surrounded them.

Awkwardly, Keith Garner cleared his throat, and his hands moved restlessly on the arms of the chair he occupied.

“I've been a drug abuser since I was a young man, and I was too weak to break the habit. Anytime we had trouble of any kind, I'd forget my worries by taking drugs. It finally got me.”

The two daughters obviously didn't comprehend what their father meant. But the bleak look on Alex's face as he glared at his father indicated that he knew all too well what kind of life his father had led.

“Don't you see, son? You were better off without me. When I was at home, I'd use all of our money to feed my habit. You were better off without me,” he repeated, his eyes begging for understanding.

“If you really cared, you could have kicked the habit,” Alex said.

“Alex,” Paul said, “you don't know what you're talking about. You've never walked in your father's shoes. Try to be more understanding.”

“I've tried, Alex, I really have. I've been in and out of a dozen rehab centers, and I'd go straight for a while.”

“And that's when you sent us money?”

Keith Garner nodded. “But the addiction was too strong for me. With my record, it got harder and harder for me to find a good-paying job, and I didn't have much money to send your way.”

He started coughing and gasping. Paul put Julie aside and went to Keith. The children stared in horror as their father struggled for a breath, and Carissa wondered if they'd have been better off not to have seen him.

“Shall we have some breakfast? Maybe some hot coffee will help you,” Paul said.

Carissa bolted out of her chair, glad to have something to do. “You'll eat with us, please, Mr. Garner?” she said.

He was weak from the coughing spell, but he said, “Thank you. Something hot to drink would be fine.”

Paul pulled chairs around the table for the six of them and got everyone seated while Carissa put frozen waffles in the toaster. She poured orange juice, and filled Mr. Garner's mug with coffee, which he sipped gratefully.

Lauren eyed her father nervously all through the meal. He ate very little, but he asked for another serving of coffee. Paul didn't think anyone enjoyed the meal, for Keith Garner was uneasy, the children's insecurity had surfaced, and Carissa was edgy. When he invited the Garner family to return to the great room, he, too, was doubtful about the outcome of the reunion between this man and his children.

Carissa had been fretting about their Christmas dinner before the appearance of Mr. Garner, and she hardly knew what she was doing. Leaving Mr. Garner alone with his children for a while, Paul put a ham roast in the oven. Carissa prepared a packet of
dressing, knowing that her grandmother would have been horrified that she hadn't prepared it from scratch. She'd bought a cranberry salad, pumpkin pies and yeast rolls at the deli—all no-no's to her grandmother, who'd probably never heard of a deli. But Carissa was grateful for the advanced technology today, for her emotions were so mixed that preparing food was the furthest thing from her mind.

Would Keith Garner agree to let her adopt the children? What would happen to them if he decided to take his children with him? In less than a month, Carissa's life had become so involved with the three kids and Paul that she couldn't contemplate the future without them.

Perhaps sensing her confusion, Paul pulled her into a close hug.

“Everything is ready,” he said. “I've peeled the potatoes, and they'll cook slowly while we wait for the ham to bake. We might as well get this over.”

Carissa took the tin of cookies with her into the great room, where the children were showing Keith Garner their Christmas gifts. Lauren and Julie were chatting easily with their father. Alex had thawed to the point that he was sitting on the floor beside his father's chair, and Keith had his hand on Alex's shoulder.

“Lauren, would you like to give your father a gift?” Carissa asked, handing the box of cookies to Lauren.

Julie jumped up. “I want to give it to him,” she said.

“Why don't both of you hold it?” Carissa said.

Keith's head bowed over the gift. “Thank you,” he mumbled, and a sob rose from his throat.

He lifted his head and looked from Paul to Carissa.

“And I thank both of you for what you've done for my children. It gave me nightmares to think that they might have fallen into the wrong hands. If there is a God, I pray that He'll bless you for what you've done.”

“There
is
a God, Mr. Garner,” Paul said. “I've always believed that, but my belief was renewed last night when I again met the Son of God, Jesus, in a life-changing experience. He's already blessed us by giving us the opportunity to care for your children. Now the question is—where do we go from here? I'm sure the three adults in this room want the same thing—what is best for Alex, Lauren and Julie.”

“I understand, Miss Whitmore, that you want to adopt my children,” Keith said.

“I told them I would adopt them, but that was before we knew you were still alive.”

“I love my children,” he said sincerely, “but they'd have a worse life with me than they had when their mother was ill.”

“We'd take care of you, Dad,” Alex said, standing at his father's side.

“I know you would, Alex, but I can't ask it of you. I don't know Miss Whitmore's position, but it's
obvious she can give you the things I can't. A comfortable home, food on the table, nice clothes, a college education, maybe even love….” His voice trailed off, and he looked at Carissa expectantly.

“Yes,” she said simply. “I love the children already. I've worked most of my life establishing a good business and I've never married. I didn't know my life lacked anything until this month. Being with your children has brought a completeness to my life that I've never known before. To be honest with you, I don't know what kind of a mother I'll be, but in many ways, I can empathize with the children. My mother died when I was a girl, I never knew my father and my grandmother raised me. I know what it's like to be alone.”

“Kids, you need to be involved in this decision,” Paul said. “What do you want to do?”

“I want to stay with Miss Cara, but I want Papa, too,” Lauren said.

“That's what I want,” Julie shouted. “And Uncle Paul, too.”

Paul knelt beside her, his face white. “Julie, I've explained that I have a job. I still want to be a part of your life, but I have to work.”

Alex looked at Carissa. “Can't we just go ahead and live with you without you adopting us?”

Taken aback by this turn of events, Carissa hesitated.

Before she could answer, Mr. Garner said, “No, it won't work, Alex. Miss Whitmore has to have full
authority if she takes you. I don't want to be in a position to undermine her decisions.” He turned to Paul. “How soon can we sign the necessary papers?”

“I know nothing about adoption procedures, but there's a lawyer in Yuletide who handles my sister's affairs. He'll be able to advise you. I'll try to get an appointment for tomorrow. I've heard that adoptions usually take a long time, but since both you and Carissa are agreeable to this, there shouldn't be any hitches.”

Paul invited Keith Garner to stay in his apartment until they could find more information, so Keith went to retrieve his backpack from one of the fishing huts on the lake, and Alex went with him. Paul wondered if Alex wanted to keep his eye on his father, fearful that he'd disappear again. When they brought the pack to the house, Paul judged that it didn't weigh more than ten pounds. Was this all Garner had to show for a lifetime? No wonder he wanted something better for his children.

Keith asked Carissa if he could wash some clothes, and he and Alex spent time alone in the basement taking care of that chore.

Carissa hoped they were able to do some bonding as father and son. Alex needed to forgive his father.

 

After Paul arranged an appointment with a lawyer for the morning, he telephoned Belva Townsend, asking if she'd come to the house and stay with the
children while they were with the lawyer. At the office the lawyer explained the adoption rules, and Keith Garner signed the necessary papers to initiate the proceedings. Carissa gave the lawyer permission to check her financial standing.

Knowing that Belva would take care of the children, after they left the lawyer's office the three of them went to the café for lunch.

“I hope Alex won't give you any trouble, miss,” Keith said as they waited for their food to be served. “I don't want him to take after me.”

Secretly, Carissa had been hoping the same thing. She believed she could cope with the girls' problems, but she knew nothing about boys. Despite the fact that he'd abandoned his family, during the few hours she'd spent with Mr. Garner, Carissa had formed a better opinion of his character. Still, he'd admitted in front of his family that he'd started using drugs and alcohol when he was a teenager. Bitter as Alex was about his family life, would he follow his father's example? The possibility sent shivers of fear up and down her spine.