The Christmas Hope (16 page)
Read The Christmas Hope Online
Authors: Donna VanLiere
“I can,” I said, leaning in. We talked for forty-five minutes and in that time Randy ate all six of the doughnuts in the bag. He was relieved to know he wasn’t legally bound to take Emily. We told him we’d call soon, and left. I walked into the hallway, leaned up against the wall, and exhaled.
“It’s not over yet,” Roy said. “Come on.” Roy flipped open his cell phone and picked up the guardianship document we’d found in the box at Hal and Greta’s. He began to call lawyers that we ran into on a consistent basis. No one was in their offices. I was getting worried. We needed a lawyer who could help us transfer legal guardianship to Mark and me. Roy called three more numbers with no luck.
I took the papers from Roy’s hand and read the letterhead. “I’m going to call this firm,” I said, handing him the papers.
“If lawyers aren’t working in the city there’s no way they’re working in smaller places like Jefferson.”
I held up my hand and dialed information. “This is for Jefferson,” I said, waiting. “Yes, I need the number for a law firm called Layton and Associates.” During the first year of Emily’s life, Tracy had lived in Jefferson. She chose a lawyer based on location. She wanted one that was close to her brother’s side of town so it would be easy for Randy to sign the papers. I was connected to the number. It began to ring. I paced the sidewalk in the front of Randy’s apartment building, trying to break ice with the heel of my shoe. I let the phone ring and ring. No one was working. I was about to hang up when it clicked.
“Layton and Associates. This is Jodie.”
“Hi,” I said, surprised. “I didn’t expect to get anyone today.”
“I’m not supposed to be here,” Jodie said. She was in a hurry. “I had to get a few files pulled together before I left town for New Year’s. Normally we wouldn’t be in.” I sensed that Jodie answered the phone because she thought I was going to be someone else, like her boyfriend, and that she didn’t want to be on the phone. I hurried through the situation, skipping over important details. She was quiet.
“You’re sure that Robert Layton’s name is on that paperwork?”
“I’m looking right at it.”
“It’s just that that work isn’t something that Mr. Layton normally does, but he has taken a lot of pro bono cases over the years. This was probably one of them.” She wasn’t in a rush anymore. “You don’t need us to put together paperwork, though. A lawyer closer to you can draw up the papers.”
“We can’t find a lawyer and we need one ASAP.”
“How fast?” she asked.
“Now.”
There was a brief pause. “Let me see what I can do.” She put me on hold and within a couple of minutes the phone clicked.
“This is Robert Layton.” I apologized for bothering Mr. Layton on vacation. I highlighted the story again: five-year-old orphan, mother killed in a car accident, legal guardianship rights. Could they be transferred?
“Is the brother alive?” Mr. Layton asked.
“We just met with him and he wants to sign over his guardianship rights to another couple.”
“And you need this done today?”
“I know it’s a stretch,” I said, “but we’re going to have to uproot this little girl again and—”
“It’s okay,” Mr. Layton said, stopping me. “I’m happy to help.” I gave Roy a thumbs-up. Mr. Layton was going to draft new paperwork and fax it to us for Randy’s signature. “Can you give me thirty minutes? I need to boot up my computer here at home.” I thought it would take him hours.
“Thirty minutes is great! Thank you, Mr. Layton. I hope you had a great Christmas.” I hung up and knew I’d never talk to that lawyer again. I didn’t know anything about him: his age, if he was married with kids or grandkids, or what kind of man he was, but I wondered if he would ever know what he had done or how he had helped.
God can use anybody or anything,
the minister had said so many Christmases ago.
Don’t ever underestimate who or what He’ll use to get something done.
We drove to an office supply store and waited for the fax. The cover page had my name and the words “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!” It was turning out that both of those were ringing true.
God can use anybody or anything,
the minister had said so many Christmases ago.
Don’t ever underestimate who or what He’ll use to get something done.
We drove to an office supply store and waited for the fax. The cover page had my name and the words “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!” It was turning out that both of those were ringing true.
Roy and I drove back to Randy’s apartment and knocked several times before he answered. He’d been sleeping again. Poor guy. I know he was glad to see us leave once and for all. We got back in the car and Roy dialed Lynn McSwain’s number.
“He’s not going to be available the day after Christmas,” I said.
“He’s the supervisor,” Roy said. “That’s what supervisors do. They make themselves available on any day at any … Hello, Lynn,” he said, glancing at me. “Patricia and I need to talk to you about something … . No, we need to do it today.” I closed my eyes. I knew Lynn had a house full of relatives and he was going to try to put us off till later in the week. “We can be there in an hour and thirty minutes.” Roy drove and this time we made the two-hour trip in a little over an hour.
We pulled into Lynn’s driveway and I grabbed Roy’s arm. I felt nervous and sick. “This is impossible,” I said.
He patted my hand. “Keep things in perspective,” he said. “This isn’t impossible. Finding good cell service is impossible.” Lynn opened the door before we knocked and we said hello to sons and daughters and grandchildren of all ages. Lynn led us into a small office and closed the door.
“What’s up?” I didn’t even know where to start but I told him about picking Emily up and taking her to Wesley House only to turn around and drive to our house instead. He held on to the ankle that was crossed over his knee and leaned on the desk, listening. He didn’t interrupt; Lynn had always been a good listener. He didn’t pull out papers to write me up for having a child at my house for five days, although I know the thought had to be in his mind. He remained quiet till I finished and then leaned back in his chair, pressing his hands together. “So this man is the child’s uncle and legal guardian?” He held the papers in front of him.
I nodded.
“But you didn’t know that?”
“I asked if he could take Emily but apparently I didn’t ask if he was the legal guardian.”
He was quiet again. He’d talk with me about how to do my job at another time. At that time he might even write me up for improper conduct and risking the life of a child by bringing her into my home. It was within his right to do it and I was sure he would.
“It was a mistake,” Roy said. “But sometimes mistakes are good.”
Lynn glanced at Roy and Roy stopped talking.
“So Randall Weist cannot take the child but will grant legal guardianship to someone who can take her in until she’s adopted?”
“That’s right,” I said.
“Are the people Randall has in mind relatives of the child?”
“No, but they care for her very much.”
“Have you been to the home?”
“Yes, I have. It’s a lovely home with a big backyard and a dog that’s crazy about Emily. The parents would provide a loving, stable home for her.”
Lynn raised his eyebrow and looked at me. “Any other children?”
“No.”
“And you somehow managed to find a lawyer to draft new paperwork today?”
I nodded.
“With signatures?”
I nodded again.
“Is this your home, Patricia?”
I bit my lip.
Lynn looked at Roy and then back at me. “Do you understand the needs this child is going to have?”
“I know loss, Lynn. I know what it’s like to bury someone you love. Mark and I both know. The world looks different after that, people sound strange, TV doesn’t make sense, losing twenty dollars or stubbing your toe in the middle of the night doesn’t matter anymore because your heart doesn’t beat the same. Everything changes. It’s like nothing matters yet things matter more than they ever have because your soul has been ripped apart.” I stopped. “No one understands that except those who’ve buried someone close to them. Mark and I have.”
Lynn leaned back in his chair and sighed. If Emily was going to stay in our home then a few matters needed to be cleared up. “Who exactly is the social worker for this case?”
“I am,” Roy said.
“As of?”
“Right now.”
Lynn smiled.
“Can you think of any reasons why the courts wouldn’t transfer rights to us as legal guardians?” I asked.
“Oh, I can think of several,” Lynn said. I felt deflated. “I know you want to provide some stability for this child before she’s adopted but the courts don’t move that fast. You know that. They’ll also see many variables as to why they shouldn’t move in your favor but in favor of the foster system.” It’s astonishing how fast a promising situation can become hopeless but there was always a part of me that expected defeat. That way, when the rug was pulled out from underneath me I wouldn’t be too upset or disappointed. I knew I couldn’t expect a miracle at every turn but I at least wanted to try everything I could, and I did. I needed to be happy with that. Roy put his arm around me and helped me to the car. The wind was up; it had turned so cold.
I called Mark and asked if he would drive Emily to the office. I needed to get this over with so we could all get on with our lives. I looked out the window. It was snowing again. I watched for Mark to pull into the parking lot and then walked out the front doors of the building. I asked Mark if I could drive and he let me behind the wheel. I turned to look at Emily. She tried to smile but couldn’t.
“Emily,” I said, “I know you don’t want to talk about this but can I at least drive you to the home you’ll be staying in so you can meet them?”
She looked out the window and didn’t answer me. Mark was quiet as well. I drove through the snowy streets, past Mom and Dad’s house and the city park that had been decorated by the local schoolchildren with various Christmas scenes and through the town square and past Norma’s bare fir trees. I drove down Elmwood Lane and every house on the street had huge red bows on their mailboxes. I turned onto Boxwood and then Maple and the snow fell faster, sticking to the windshield. I drove round and round until I slowly pulled into a driveway.
“Here we are.” I said. I drove up the driveway and saw Emily looking out the window. She sat up and looked through the windshield. “Do you think you could stay here?”
Girl ran to the car and barked, wanting us to get out.
“Well?” I said, “Girl’s waiting for an answer. Do you think you could stay here?” I asked, watching her face. Mark grabbed her and pulled her onto the front seat.
She threw her arms around my neck.
Lynn McSwain had said he could think of several reasons why the courts wouldn’t grant us guardianship. “But I can think of several more why they would,” he’d said, smiling. Who knew that miracles still happen?
Five days ago I had asked God for just one day of peace in my life. I picked Emily up and kissed her face. That day had finally come.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy.
—Proverbs 13:12
T
wo days later Meghan Sullivan awoke at one in the morning. “Ohh,” she moaned.
wo days later Meghan Sullivan awoke at one in the morning. “Ohh,” she moaned.
Nathan jumped to his feet. “Don’t move, honey,” he said, pulling on a pair of jeans and a university sweatshirt he had placed nearby in case of emergency.
“Aghh,” Meghan groaned, throwing her feet to the floor.
“What’s wrong?” Nathan’s dad asked, flipping on the light in the hallway.
“Grab the bag, Dad,” Nathan said, pulling on his shoes. Jack ran for the packed overnight bag as Nathan eased Meghan through the door.
“I’m not going like this,” Meghan said, turning toward the bedroom.
“Just get in the car,” Nathan said, directing her out the door again.
“I’m not going in my pajamas. I want my clothes!”
Lydia ran into Meghan’s closet and pulled out a pair of maternity pants and a top. “Do these work?” she asked.
“Great,” Meghan said, taking the clothes from Lydia.
Jack and Lydia scrambled back into their room to change into something for the hospital.
“Grandma’s still sleeping. Should we leave her here?” Nathan asked, yelling through the closed doors.
“I’m not sleeping,” his grandmother said, shuffling into the hallway. “You’d have to be deaf to sleep through all this!”
Nathan rushed Meghan into his truck and his dad, grandmother, and Lydia loaded into their car. His baby boy was finally coming!
Emily woke me that morning. Mia was being released from the hospital and she wanted to be there as she was discharged. At each visit we had seen the change in Mia; she was getting stronger every day. When Emily and Sandra and I arrived to see her leave, Dr. Andrews wasn’t there. “His wife had the baby this morning,” a nurse said. Emily was disappointed. I knew she wanted to see Dr. Andrews again. The nurse handed Mia to Emily and Emily made all sorts of goo-goo noises and faces.
“They told me Mia was leaving.” Dr. Andrews was standing in the doorway holding a baby wrapped in a pink blanket. “I thought I’d come see her off and show everyone my new bundle.”
Emily wrapped her arms around his leg, relieved to say good-bye. He leaned down so she could see the baby’s face.
“She’s so beautiful,” I said. “What did you name her?”
“Margaret Allison. After our mothers. We’ll call her Maggie.” Sandra and Emily cooed at the baby.
“Welcome, Maggie,” I said, bouncing her tiny hand up and down. “We hope you enjoy your stay.”
“I had my heart set on a boy but I think I could get used to this,” he said, kissing the baby’s hand.
I looked at Dr. Andrews. His face looked so much like Mark’s on the day I had Sean. “I’d ask how your Christmas was but I already know,” I said, brushing Maggie’s cheek. He beamed like first daddies always do and I smiled. Women go through the pain and work of labor and delivery and men parade the baby around as though they just happened to find her all snuggly and pink and beautiful.
“Mia had a very good Christmas with us,” he said. “We’re going to miss her around here.” He put his hand on Mia’s head. “She’s a strong, healthy baby. We’ll see her again in a few days for a checkup but I don’t anticipate any problems.”
“How was your Christmas, Emily?”
Emily held up the cross her mother had given her. “I got this.”
“Isn’t that beautiful,” he said, rocking Maggie on his shoulder.
“It’s from my mom.”
“Well, that kind of gift is too important for Santa to deliver. An angel put that gift under the tree for you.” He gave her a hug and said he hoped to see her again. Sandra and I shook his hand and thanked him for all his help and I watched as he left the room and showed Maggie off to everyone at the nurses’ station. We gathered Mia’s things and made our way toward the elevator, saying good-bye to the nurses who had been so good to Mia during her stay. I watched Dr. Andrews as we waited for the elevator. Funny, Mark and I had the name Nathan on our list when we named Sean. I looked up to see three nurses bent over the baby as Dr. Andrews watched them. My mind swirled with images and conversations from the past few days. “I got here at the crack of dawn,” he said on Christmas Day. I pulled out of my purse Sean’s note, which was still attached to the pocket watch. I thought I heard the doorbell at six that morning. The young doctor who told me that Sean had died was named something we’d had on our list for Sean. Was that young doctor’s name Nathan? Dr. Andrews laughed at the wriggling baby in his arms.
No, it couldn’t be him,
I thought
. There’s no way.
No, it couldn’t be him,
I thought
. There’s no way.
The elevator doors opened and Sandra stepped inside with Mia. “Hold on, just one second,” I said, running down the hall. I ran up to Dr. Andrews. He turned to look at me. “I just wanted to say …” I stopped. Everyone was looking at me. “I just wanted you to know that I’ve been to a lot of doctors and I know when I’m around a really good one. You’re one of the good ones, Dr. Andrews. Thank you for everything.” I ran toward the elevator and Emily waved at him as the doors closed in front of us. If I really wanted to know the name of that young doctor who told me of Sean’s death I’m sure I could make a call and discover who it was. Maybe then I’d learn if it was Dr. Andrews who left the gift on my front porch. But I wouldn’t do that because as Mrs. Burke told my mother, sometimes you just need to take the blessing and run.
It was a warm June day when Roy and Barbara married in our backyard. His sons had brought an arbor and decorated it with fresh roses for the ceremony. The weather was gorgeous. “Picture perfect,” the photographer kept saying. For the first time in his life Roy was speechless. He looked scared to death. He mumbled his vows and everyone in attendance strained to hear him.
“Louder,” Roy’s son yelled.
Roy nodded his head and repeated them with gusto.
Emily sat next to Jasmine and held her hand throughout the ceremony. Roy’s daughter sang “Ave Maria” and when the minister said kiss the bride, Roy dipped Barbara and planted the longest recorded kiss in the history of wedding ceremonies. The men cheered and when Roy let Barbara up for breath he pumped his fist into the air. We all released balloons and Emily and Jasmine jumped from their seats, trying to catch the ones that were caught in the trees.
After the ceremony, Mark and Dad positioned themselves at the grill and didn’t move. Dad slathered the ribs with sauce and Mark monitored the blaze. Mom and I fluttered back and forth between the deck and the kitchen refilling bowls of pasta and potato salad, refreshing trays of fresh vegetables and fruit, and carrying out countless trays of appetizers. Everyone from the office was there and all of Roy’s and Barbara’s families. Our deck and backyard were filled. Emily wore a purple dress she had picked out at the store herself based on how much it twirled when she spun around.
My brother, Richard, and his family arrived late in the afternoon. They were going to be with us for the next four days. “I stopped at Mom and Dad’s house,” he said, hugging me. “I assumed they had to be here. Are we breaking up a party?”
“Not at all,” I said. “We didn’t expect you till later but this is better because now I can introduce you to everyone.” Emily stood behind me holding on to my waist as I hugged Nancy and their three boys. I hadn’t seen Richard in over a year. He was heavier but still looked good. He peeked around me to see Emily.
“Well, hello there,” he said, waving. “Patti, did you know you have something on your back?” Emily giggled and held tighter.
“There’s something on my back? Get it off,” I said, playing along. Richard pretended to pull Emily from me, grunting for effect.
“It won’t budge,” he said. “I think you’ll need an operation.” Emily laughed and let go. “Oh, no. It’s gone now.”
Emily lifted her dress and rose up on her toes, embarrassed.
Richard extended his hand. “Nice to meet you, Emily. I’m Richard, Patti’s brother. So that makes me your uncle.”
She smiled and twirled, looking at the ground.
“We’re so happy to have you as part of the family.”
She rocked back and forth on top of my feet.
“And since I’m officially your uncle that means I need a kiss. Can I have a kiss?”
She shook her head.
“You won’t give me a kiss?”
She laughed.
“If you won’t give me a kiss then I’ll have to steal one from you!” He lunged for her and she shrieked, running through the yard. Girl followed as Richard ran in circles trying to catch Emily.
I don’t know when Mark and I decided to adopt Emily. I think I knew we would the night I met her in her home and she crawled into my lap. Mark knew it when we decorated the tree. But we put the thought out of our minds and kept it at arm’s length. We were too old, too broken and too wounded to start another life. That’s what we thought, but I don’t think our hearts ever believed it. From the moment I turned the car around at Wesley House and drove home I knew I was in for the ride of my life. Once we became Emily’s legal guardians we knew there was no way we could ever let her go. She had made a place in our lives and although she didn’t look like us or have our blood in her veins, we loved her as our own. She was ours. We love her as we loved Sean, as if she were born to us. We set up her bed and framed pictures of her and her mother and put them on the dresser and hung them on the wall. We didn’t want her to forget her mother and we understood, as Lynn McSwain pointed out, that Emily might have special needs in the future as a result of Tracy’s death, but that’s okay. Mark and I had special needs, too. We were all in this together.
“Mommy!” I turned to see Emily’s feet in the air. Richard was pumping her up and down. Mark and I never told her to call us Mom and Dad; we never discussed it with her. It was easy for her to call Mark Dad because she never had one, but it took a few months before she called me Mom. I didn’t make a big deal of it in front of her but afterward I went into the bathroom and cried. We were a family.
Roy’s sons tied tin cans to the back of his Dodge Stratus and we all threw birdseed as Roy helped Barbara into the car. We waved and followed them down the driveway. Roy honked the horn as Barbara swatted his hands, trying to make him stop. He was taking her to, in his words, “an undisclosed location” for two weeks. We watched them turn the corner and then we headed back toward the house. There was a lot of cleaning up to do. “I’m going to get married someday,” Emily said, holding my hand and Mark’s.
“Oh, no you’re not,” Mark said.
“Yes I am, too.”
“And just who are you going to marry?”
“I’m going to marry the prince.”
“Well, then, that’s okay,” Mark said. “Because he’ll have that really big castle that your mother and I can live in when we get old. But don’t ever try to bring home any other guy!”
She ran after Jasmine and they sat together on the same swing, giggling. I leaned my head on Mark’s shoulder and watched her. Who would she marry? What would she be when she grew up? How many grandchildren would we have? Mark squeezed my shoulder and kissed my face. We were both thinking the same things.
We were dreaming again.
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