The Circle (35 page)

It’s silent. There’s a table and chair in the middle of the room.

Nicolaus scans the deposit boxes. At the very top corner there is a small door with ‘1’ on it. He walks up to it determinedly and unlocks it.

Vanessa backs away when he pulls out the box, carries it to the table and sets it down. When she sees the shiny metal rectangle she is suddenly nervous. Nicolaus takes a step back and stares at it. It’s obvious that he’s also afraid of what the box might contain. In the world where Vanessa is now living, it might be a big black hole that sucks up the entire universe and turns it inside out. Or a miniature unicorn that spits concentrated acid.

Nicolaus reaches out to open the box, but stops short. He turns slowly and looks about the room. ‘Vanessa?’

She holds her breath.

‘I know you’re there.’

Vanessa doesn’t dare make herself visible since there must be surveillance cameras in the room. But she takes a step forward and touches Nicolaus’s coat in confirmation. ‘How did you know?’ she murmurs.

‘I didn’t,’ he answers. ‘I guessed. There was something in Miss Minoo’s behaviour that put the idea into my head.’

‘She was afraid there might be something dangerous in the box,’ Vanessa whispers.

‘And if there is, how are you going to help me?’

‘At least then there are two of us. And I’m invisible.’

‘Evil sees more than we think,’ Nicolaus mumbles. ‘You should go.’

‘I can’t get out –we’re locked in. You might as well open the box and get it over with.’

‘Then for God’s sake take a few steps back!’

‘I’m already standing a few steps back.’

Nicolaus takes a deep breath, as if he were going to dive under water. He reaches for the box, but stops short again.

‘What is it?’ Vanessa asks.

‘I’m shuddering at the thought of what might be inside it,’ he says.

‘You’re not the only one.’

‘You don’t understand. Ever since my awakening I’ve been wandering around in a fog. Now the moment has
arrived
when that fog might lift. I fear the answers I’m going to get. If I get any.’

All at once Vanessa feels an enormous empathy with Nicolaus. It must be difficult to fumble about constantly in the dark as he’s doing. Yet he’s stood faithfully by theirside. He’s always tried to help them find answers. Unlike the principal, who has the answers but won’t share them.

‘I can open it,’ Vanessa says.

‘No,’ says Nicolaus, and takes another deep breath. ‘This is my lot.’

‘Suit yourself,’ she says, and sneaks a little closer.

Nicolaus opens the box.

It contains a black book with two circles stamped into the cover. And next to it, a now familiar silver loupe.

‘The
Book of Patterns
,’ Vanessa says. ‘And a Pattern Finder. It’s like the ones the witches use.’

Nicolaus picks up the book. Lying underneath it is a white envelope with old-fashioned handwriting on the front:

Hand delivery to Nicolaus Elingius

He glances to the spot where he thinks Vanessa is standing. He’s off by about a metre. Then he turns the envelope over. A red wax seal. Nicolaus carefully breaks it, opens the envelope and pulls out a thin sheet of paper. Vanessa reads over his shoulder.

At the time of my writing this, I have spent five weeks in Engelsfors. Five weeks of clarity. As soon as I returned, the
veil
was lifted from my eyes and I remembered my purpose and my goal. Still I am plagued by a feeling that this condition will not last
.

My first intention was to write a complete account of my history and what lies in store in this Godforsaken place. Then it occurred to me that there is a risk of such a letter falling into the wrong hands, God forbid! This makes me choose my words carefully. I dare not disclose as much as I would like
.

Even if the self that is reading this letter has likely once again sunk into the haze, at least I will have help on the way. If I read this in some unknown future it is because my faithful familiar has led me here
.

Fear not, my lost self. Clarity will return. The cross of silver shall protect you and the Chosen One. In its vicinity you are as safe as you are at the sacred place
.

As a final word of guidance, I give myself this maxim, the full meaning of which I have tried to embed in my memory:

MEMENTO MORI

Minoo reads the last lines again, then puts down the letter on Nicolaus’s coffee-table. The silver cross hanging on the wall opposite her must be the one to which the letter refers. A few minutes ago it was just a strange artefact. Now it has an aura of mystique.

Nicolaus is sitting with the
Book of Patterns
open in front of him and is twiddling the dials on the Pattern Finder. Cat is lying at his feet purring.

Of course, the cat is Nicolaus’s familiar. Minoo can’t believe she failed to make the connection when the principal told them about witches and their ability to connect with animals.

Witches.

Like Nicolaus.

She picks up the letter, reads it again and tries to understand.

Even Nicolaus is a witch. Everyone’s a witch these days, except her.

Vanessa emerges from the kitchen and jumps out of the way when Cat tries to rub against her calf. ‘Couldn’t you have chosen a more hygienic familiar?’ she asks.

‘
Memento mori
,’ Nicolaus mumbles. ‘“Remember that you are going to die.”’ If only I could remember what exactly I meant by that phrase.’

‘Well, you remembered it when you wrote the letter,’ Minoo says, trying to sound encouraging. ‘So it’ll come back to you. And your powers.’

‘I hope to God you’re right,’ he says, and twiddles a little more with the Pattern Finder. ‘How does this thing work again?’

‘Like a radio,’ Vanessa says. ‘Sort of.’

‘At least we’ve learned one important thing,’ says Minoo, and points at the cross. ‘Kärrgruvan isn’t the only safe place for us to meet.’

‘That’s a relief,’ Vanessa says, and pulls on her jacket which she’d tossed on to the floor. ‘It’s useless having a place without a toilet. And we can meet here without Her Witchiness knowing about it.’

Vanessa zips up her jacket, and is clearly about to leave. It’s all moving too fast for Minoo. Everything has changed now. They need to sit down and think about what it means. ‘Don’t you think we should tell the principal? This means that you’re a witch, too, Nicolaus. She has to accept you now, doesn’t she?’

‘She may not be in league with demons,’ says Nicolaus, ‘but I’ve got a feeling we can’t trust her and that so-called Council.’

‘Suits me just fine,’ Vanessa says, shrugging her shoulders.

‘And the others?’ Minoo asks.

‘I’ll tell Linnéa,’ says Vanessa. ‘You can tell Anna-Karin.’

‘And what about Miss Ida?’ Nicolaus asks.

Vanessa and Minoo exchange looks. It seems wrong to exclude Ida. It goes against everything that Rebecka was talking about, everything that Minoo has tried to hold on to: that they have to work together. But can they trust Ida?

‘No,’ says Minoo. ‘We won’t say anything to her.’

‘I agree,’ Vanessa says.

‘She’s also one of the Chosen Ones,’ Nicolaus objects.

‘As soon as we’ve found out a little more, we’ll tell her,’ Minoo says. ‘We promise.’

Nicolaus looks at her doubtfully.

‘We can’t be sure she won’t tell the principal,’ she says.

It works. Nicolaus looks dubious, but he nods.

36

THE DOORS TO
the school cafeteria open in front of Anna-Karin. It’s dark in there, so dark that she can only just make out the contours of the people filling the space.

She doesn’t want to be here. She never asked to be chosen. But she can no longer control the admiration of those around her. It’s spread on to people she hasn’t even
tried
to influence. They are simply affected by the fact that
other
people seem to adore her. And this is the result.

The Lucia crown on her head is heavy. A few drops of wax drip on to the head cloth protecting her hair.

‘And one … two … one, two, three, four!’

The music and drama teacher, Kerstin Stålnacke, is counting enthusiastically. She’s waving with such exuberance that her Santa-red tunic is billowing like a sheet on a clothes line. Her hennaed hair is sticking straight up on top of her head. On ‘four’ the Lucia procession starts singing behind Anna-Karin.

‘
Natten går tunga fjät, runt gård och stuva
…’

Anna-Karin mimes the well-known but incomprehensible words as she marches slowly into the darkness.

The burning candles cast a warm glow around her as she
moves
. Faces appear out of the darkness. There’s Vanessa, breaking a heart-shaped ginger biscuit into three pieces. And there’s Minoo, watching Anna-Karin gravely. Kevin is rocking back on his chair and drumming his fingers on the table. Felicia and Julia smile like the fanatical members of the Anna-Karin sect they are. It was they who nominated her to be this year’s Lucia. The song seems never-ending.

‘
Natten var stor och stum. Nu, hör, det svingar. I alla tysta rum, sus som av vingar
.’

More drops of wax land on Anna-Karin’s headcloth as she walks through the darkened cafeteria. The air smells of alcohol-free mulled wine and warm bodies, and when she approaches the back of the cafeteria, where they’ve cleared away the tables and chairs to make room for the Lucia procession, she catches a whiff of coffee from one of the teachers’ tables.

When Anna-Karin takes her place at the front of the space, and the procession gathers in a half circle behind her, she sees the principal staring right through her. She starts to perspire with the heat of the candles, and a clammy sheen spreads across her face. The palms of her hands, in the traditional Lucia pose, are damp. Max is sitting next to the principal, smiling encouragingly at her. Petter Backman, known for putting his arm around his female students the first chance he gets, is on his other side and lets his eyes wander covetously over her.

Finally the song ends. Ida, who is a handmaiden and is standing to the right of Anna-Karin, belts out the final ‘Luciaaa’ so her voice carries above everyone else’s. It’s
obvious
that she wishes she could do a solo. Ida is used to being the school’s Lucia, and Anna-Karin hopes that she’ll resist the temptation to set fire to her hair with her candle. She is reassured to see the assistant principal, Tommy Ekberg, with a fire extinguisher at the ready.

One carol leads into the next, and Anna-Karin mimes through them. Kerstin Stålnacke flails her arms as if she has just stepped on a wasps’ nest.

Anna-Karin catches sight of Jari, who is skirting one of the walls until he’s standing just a few metres from her. He’s alone. And he has eyes only for Anna-Karin. Her smile is suddenly genuine. And he smiles back, glowing and sparkling more brightly than any of the candles. It’s nearly over.

‘
Hej tomtegubbar slå i glasen och låt oss lustiga vara
…’

Anna-Karin holds Jari’s gaze.

‘
En liten tid, vi leva här, med mycket möda och stort besvär
…’

Anna-Karin hears Ida get ready to belt out the final verse.

‘
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
–’ The high note gives way to a piercing scream. ‘…
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
’

Everyone in the cafeteria falls deathly silent. The principal leans forward, about to stand up. There is a loud thud next to Anna-Karin and she whirls around so suddenly that the crown of candles slips off her head and hits the floor, some of the candles breaking loose. The singers in their long white gowns jump away to escape the flames, and out of the corner of her eye Anna-Karin sees Tommy Ekberg running towards her with the fire extinguisher.

Ida has dropped to her knees. Her eyelids are twitching and her eyeballs have turned so far into her skull that only the whites are visible. Her lips are moving and Anna-Karin thinks Ida is saying her name. She leans close to hear better.

Ida is as quick as a cobra. Her hand flies out and grabs Anna-Karin’s wrist.

A white light flashes and Anna-Karin is blinded.

Anna-Karin sees a blue sky, and the edge of a roof. The roof of the school. She’s lying there feeling so tired, so dreadfully tired. A hard wind is whipping her face. Her head is buzzing and throbbing and she’s looking for Gustaf.

Gustaf. There’s so much love inside her for him. It even breaks through the awful pain in her forehead.

Anna-Karin realises she’s no longer in her own body. She’s inside Rebecka. As if she were a parasite looking at the world through Rebecka’s eyes. She can’t hear her thoughts, but each feeling and impression permeates her as if it were her own.

This gives way to longing for another person. Minoo. The only one who can help her. She fumbles for her mobile and pulls it out.