The Clarkl Soup Kitchens (2 page)

I waived as he drove out of the driveway, and then I quickly tore open the envelope. The amount was just double Harry’s typical monthly check.

I quickly got into my car and drove to the bank. I paid my overdue mortgage and put some of the funds into my grocery card.

By the end of the day, I had brought home enough food for two months, including a half pound of coffee. I consider myself about three months from the day when the mortgage will be foreclosed.

April 19, 2137
 

The Reverend Wade and Mrs. Wade came to call this afternoon. I could put it off no longer.

Before they came, I was certain they wanted a donation for their church, perhaps in the form of a member. Widows are always being pursued, during these first few months, by people wanting money from the insurance payout.

“We want to talk to you about our work on Clarkl,” Mrs. Wade said after I had served coffee. “We hope you will find it of interest to you.”

I braced myself for the pitch.

“Yes,” the Reverend Wade continued, “our church has sent over ten thousand people to Clarkl, and we always are looking for intelligent women to recruit.”

“Where is Clarkl?” I asked. “In
Africa
?”

The Wades smiled. Mrs. Wade said, “We can’t see its star from Earth, but it was one of the first planets to invite Earthlings.”

“Whatever would you do there? Why would the Clarkl natives want missionaries?” I asked.

“We aren’t missionaries, primarily,” Mrs. Wade said. “Certainly, that’s our reason for going there, but the government on Clarkl wants us to help feed its population. It pays us very well for people who can farm and cook. Then, we have some spare time to spread the word. About Jesus, that is.”

“I have never farmed,” I admitted. “I like to grow some corn in the back yard, but it’s been too hot lately for good corn.”

The Reverend Wade nodded. He said, “I still remember those delicious cookies you served when I was here before. That’s what gave me the idea you might be interested in joining our group as a cook.”

I remembered those cookies. Helen had been too loaded down with pies and the leftover ham to take the cookies. They had come from one of the firemen’s wives.

“I’ll leave our brochure,” he said. “It tells how long a commitment you will need to make and how much you can earn. Perhaps you can share it with your children. They ought to be involved with your decisions, of course.”

I smiled and accepted the brochure. The Wades finished their coffee.

May 3, 2137
 

Today I looked at that pamphlet the Wades left about Clarkl. If I could cook, I could earn about $25,000 per year and some retirement funds. Of course, I would need to go to faraway Clarkl, and I would need to stay for at least ten years.

I’d better get down to the county library tomorrow to investigate Clarkl.

May 5, 2137
 

The reference librarian helped me with Clarkl, saying there had been a great deal of interest in that planet lately.

Clarkl is much colder than Earth, and it is very primitive in terms of the quality of life. Housing is the worst problem for Earthlings, but the terrible snowstorms are certainly another.

Clarkl has technology significantly more advanced than Earth, though. The spacecrafts from Clarkl land on Earth to pick up workers nearly every three weeks.

One bizarre note had the reference librarian hooting: there are seven sexes on Clarkl. The dominant entities are human types that walk upright, but that species has divided itself into seven subtypes. The librarian was unable to find information about other species living on Clarkl, so I don’t know if the other species come in pairs or in sets of seven.

The pictures of the New Christian Congregation’s compound are interesting, though. The workers live in single-person huts, each one with the charm and comforts of housing at Girl Scout camp. Flooring is rare, and a good roof is more precious than rubies.

Another Christian group is also there, also trying to feed the natives. I wonder what their deal looks like? If only I could cook.

I don’t believe learning to cook is beyond my powers. I just haven’t had much use for it. Everything comes in handy packages nowadays, and restaurants, with professionals, exist for those few special occasions when a good meal is required. I believe anybody can learn to cook, but few take the time to do so.

My grandmother could cook, so it couldn’t be that hard, could it?

May 7, 2137
 

The book I ordered about Clarkl arrived. I’ll look at it and then send it back for a refund.

The human-like beings are very ugly. The pictures of groups of them look like a Halloween party, without the candied apples.

The seven sexes are: Monarchs, Seekers, Drones, Batwigs, Slinkers, Carriers, and Wolpters. The Drones and the Batwigs are sterile, but the Batwigs are usually near the top of the social order.

Of course, the Monarchs are the rulers, but their status varies with the changes in the quality of life. If there is ample food, the Monarchs are revered and cared for. If rains and floods have washed away houses and crops, the Monarchs have to watch their backsides. I believe the Monarchs are the ugliest of all the creatures, with strange feelers on their heads.

Our clients are the Batwigs. These entities are very concerned about keeping the civilization alive, and they contacted the American government on Earth in the early 2070s to ask for help. These early messages indicated they had several rare elements to sell, including various types of uranium the government wanted. The President quickly realized they would approach other heads of state with the same offer, so the Secretary of State authorized five groups to develop proposals for efficiently feeding the masses on Clarkl.

The New Christian Congregation, founded in 2073 to meet the need for such a proposal, was the first group to be awarded a contract. The Fundamentalists of Christ also were awarded a contract. Both organizations continue to work on Clarkl today, and the government pays for the rare elements by underwriting the labor and supplies of the two religious organizations.

No info in this book on how much the Fundamentalists are paying for cooks, so back it goes. I’ll make copies of some of the pictures at the library before I take it to the Post Office.

May 10, 2137
 

The reference librarian was very interested in the pictures in the book.

Now, to learn how to cook. It can’t be that hard. The librarian gave me three basic books, but to read only in the library. Cream appears to be also a verb.

Seven hours in the library today with the cookbooks, taking notes. Then, to the grocery store. They have a special section, way in the back, called Raw Ingredients. I found flour and sugar, but they were out of baking powder, having, they said, not much of a call for it. I placed a special order for two cans, to be available tomorrow.

May 12, 2137
 

My first cake was a flop. Back to the library to compare pictures in the cookbooks with the mess that came out of the oven. Took notes, will try again.

My brochure from the Fundamentalists of Christ came today. They claim they pay up to $2,500 per month for a person to go to Clarkl. Hell’s Bells! $10 fits that description.

Their brochure, though, was much more oriented toward the Christian missionary aspect than the one from the New Christian Congregation. Spreading the Gospel while feeding the hungry. The New Christian Congregation seems to concentrate on making some money while you do a service for your country. I can’t get enthusiastic about either of these approaches, but I suspect I have five years of Bible study ahead of me with the Fundamentalists. I had better put them aside for now.

How can I call the Reverend Wade to ask the monthly salary without appearing too grasping? Maybe he has already seen the peeling paint on the garage.

May 15, 2137
 

A better cake last night. On to muffins and yeast breads.

With the house agents today. A woman sent me a fancy sympathy note when Harry died and inserted her business card into it. Is nothing too sacred? I called her about perhaps leasing the house, furnished, and she was delighted to come over here to talk today.

She thinks I can get the mortgage payment, the taxes, the agent’s fee, and the insurance plus about $1,500 per month. However, I need to finish nearly $10,000 in repairs before the place can be shown (she loved the furniture, for what that’s worth). Of course, some of that $1,500 I will need to spend for a storage locker. No need to let tenants paw through Grandma’s silver.

The mortgage will be paid off in eleven years. If I stay on Clarkl for ten years and pay one extra mortgage payment each year, I ought to have the house free and clear when I return.

If I stay on Clarkl for ten years, I will miss the childhood days of all my grandchildren.

May 18, 2137
 

Still working in the kitchen. Do they have electricity to run ovens and kitchen appliances on Clarkl? Ought to, with all that advanced technology.

I steeled my nerves and called the Reverend Wade today. He will come to the house tomorrow to answer my questions about the Clarkl project.

Talked to Susan and the twins about the possibility of taking a job out of town and leasing the house to make money. No objections. Of course, they may have had the idea I meant in
Indiana
or
Pennsylvania
. Let it sink in for a week or so. No need to mention Clarkl until I learn more about it.

May 19, 2137
 

The Reverend Wade visited today, wearing yet another good suit. I actually baked a batch of brownies from scratch with cocoa and served them with coffee.

Yes, they certainly need energetic people with cooking skills for the Clarkl team. All transportation is provided, to and from. All work clothes are provided. A small house (ha!) is provided. The natives are very friendly and anxious to help. The maximum term is eleven years and the minimum term is seven years. The monthly honorarium is $2,100, not subject to any taxes.

He left an application. Most of the questions are directed toward finding out if I am evading the authorities by escaping to Clarkl. I need to list my skills, and I am nearly ready to agree I can cook. (Unhappily, the raves over the brownies were not at the same level of enthusiasm as they were for those donated cookies. A little carbon on the bottom of a brownie never actually hurt anybody, did it?)

It appears the atmosphere is a little lighter. Do I have any trouble breathing at higher altitudes? Nosebleeds? Panting? Fainting?

There is a significant penalty for an early return, and they keep half your honorarium until that penalty is paid. Then, you get it back, with
Albany
interest, when you return or die, whichever comes first.

All this is guaranteed by the federal government. The New Christian Congregation, as a federal contractor, is audited annually.

The Reverend Wade told me, as he was leaving, that actually spreading the Gospel was optional. The natives don’t really have much interest in hearing about a Savior who never visited their planet. The less said about Him on Clarkl, the better.

May 21, 2137
 

I stopped by the Wades’ house today to deliver the completed application. The place was a marvel of the interior decorator’s art, and I was astonished at my own reaction to it. Surely there is something terribly sinful in living so well.

The numbers seem just about right. If the house does not need any major repair and if Patsy pays her loans on time, a ten-year stint in Clarkl will get me back on my financial feet and allow me to face my old age with the knowledge I can live comfortably in my own free-and-clear home, spending the money from my annuity. Of course, every cent I make during that ten years will go toward paying off the loans and the mortgage.

The Reverend Wade told me it will take about two weeks before the application is processed. I will continue with my attempts to teach myself to cook.

The recipes used by the Congregation on Clarkl have been published in a booklet, and Mrs. Wade gave me a copy. This booklet appears to be the centerpiece of a publicity campaign to allow Americans to know how their government is conducting the Clarkl relationship. Only thirty recipes are included, and the text assures Americans these dishes are the only ones served by the Clarkl contractors.

I’m working on the baked corn dish now. I burned my first batch this afternoon, but I’ll try again.

Corn is a staple, according to these recipes. Canned corn is used every day, and fresh corn is used whenever it is available. One of my main duties as a cook will be to can corn, essentially around the clock, when it is in season. All corn served on Clarkl is grown on Clarkl.

Approximately twenty percent of the entities on Clarkl eat exclusively at the American food facilities. Another thirty percent eat there from time to time.

We don’t give away food for preparation elsewhere. If Clarklians want groceries, they have to forage for themselves at their own facilities.

The booklet says the Monarchs rarely visit the American food facilities and the Wolpters and Drones visit frequently. The Wolpters account for forty percent of the meals served.