The Club Sin Series 4-Book Bundle (38 page)

On her knees, Cora bowed her head for what seemed like hours. All she wanted was to fade away. This wasn't
her
. She'd never been a woman who needed a man to be happy, nor had she depended on his embrace to fix her. Now those needs overwhelmed her, all because the man she craved had left the dungeon.

With a sigh, she cursed her reality, trying to find her way out of this hell. Until now, she hadn't realized the importance of her submission to Master Aidan. Without him, nothing made sense. She didn't know what to do or what to say.

She kept her hands splayed on her thighs and her body felt cold. At the sound of a slap against flesh, she lifted her head. Presley was bound to the spanking bench at her ankles, calves, arms, and wrists. Her ass showed the markings of a good use of the paddle, and Cora had counted at least ten wicked swats.

Cora doubted Presley had enjoyed them and figured she'd be a little bit teary-eyed. She had been there before and didn't doubt the pain would fuel Presley's orgasm, sending her into a mind-blowing release.

Master Dmitri shoved down his pants to his knees and growled, “Since you see me as a big, bad Dom, I suppose I'll act as one.” Then he fucked Presley with brutal, unforgiving thrusts. Presley, never a shy one with her voice, screamed sounds of pure satisfaction.

So very unlike him to be savage.

Big, bad Dom indeed
.

It usually aroused Cora to watch others engage in erotic adventures. The exchange between a Dom and a submissive was beautiful—a dance of trust between two people looking for something
more
. Tonight, not even an inkling of heat stirred.

Cora chewed her inner lip and all she saw was the action. She dragged her palms over her legs and pitied Presley's punishment. She hadn't seen anything beautiful in their exchange. It seemed like Cora was watching a video she wished she could mute.

Fingers stroked her hair, and she glanced up to find Porter talking to Club Sin Master, Sawyer. She hadn't heard a single word pass between them. But Porter kept her by his side, often
stroking her hair.

Staying next to him gave her the sense of peace her battered soul demanded. She was at least doing something and obliging an order. That was better than doing nothing. And it also kept other Doms away while she pulled herself together.

As each minute dragged out, Cora breathed easier. Her tight muscles relaxed, her chest lightened, and her thoughts quieted. The ache in her heart didn't go away, but it was manageable. Many more minutes went by before a finger tucked under her chin, commanding her gaze.

Porter regarded her before a sweet smile reached his face. “Ah, that's a better look on you.”

The music around her shifted from soft rock to harder rock—a little darker and grittier. “I feel better, sir.”

Porter cocked his head. “It's been a long time since I've heard you address me that way.” His eyes softened. “I like it.”

“I'm glad, sir.”

To her, the
sir
sounded different. With Master Aidan it held powerful emotion, but even Cora sensed little strength in her voice when she addressed Porter. Without the intense connection behind its meaning, it was only a word.

Porter shifted forward on his seat, leaning closer. “Master Dmitri offered me membership.”

“I'm not surprised.” Cora smiled. “I knew he would.”

Porter stared at her intently. “Therefore, since I'm sticking around, we need to discuss what's going on with you. I tried to stay out of this, Cora, but I can't allow that anymore. You were
my
submissive. I trained you.” His gaze hardened. “Yes, you received further training in Club Sin, but I don't like what I see.”

Her heart raced, and she attempted to lower her head. “I—”

Porter's fingers tightened on her chin. “You don't want to be touched by another Dom?”

Uncontrollable flushes of heat washed over her, and she shook her head. “I know I'll have to eventually address that.” Yes, she'd have to find the strength to stop waiting for Aidan and to move on. But there was no way in hell she could do that now. “I'm not ready to go there—not even remotely close.”

The light from the sconce highlighted the side of Porter's face, showing off the stubble
along his cheek. “Believe me, I get why you feel that way. However, I'm not talking about a sexual exchange. Right now I'm waiting on my clear test results that Dmitri requires to join the dungeon, so I cannot take you into a scene, anyway.” His eyebrows drew together, gaze hardened. “That said, let me take care of you. We can keep doing this—you being here with me.”

Cora stared at him, loving Porter for this reason. It was exactly why they'd remained close. He was an honorable man. He loved her enough that playing with others wasn't his top priority.

He wanted to help her.

Pushing up on her knees, she cupped Porter's face. “I don't know what I did to deserve such a good friend as you, but I'm a lucky girl.”

Porter grinned. “I am the best, of course.”

Cora laughed softly before she sighed away her mirth. “If I need you, and if I'm feeling that lost, I'll come to you. I promise. But after tonight, I think it's best if I take a couple weekends off from the dungeon.” She hesitated, wanting to drink in this moment and savor a little comfort in the current mess. “I don't want you to fix me. I can fix myself.”

“Now, that's the Cora I remember.” He placed his hands over top of hers. “You'll be okay. You know that, right?”

“Yep, I always am.” She couldn't change Aidan, no matter how much she wanted to. He'd made his choices. He'd showed up tonight and he had left. Tonight was her first step forward without him.

No matter how much that hurt. No matter that she wished things were different. She'd never allowed a man to break her, and she wouldn't allow Aidan to do it, either. She could—and would—move on.

Just not yet…

As she dragged her hands out from under Porter's and sat back on her legs, a piercing scream of pleasure cut through the air. She turned toward the sound. Presley writhed in climax and Dmitri roared out his release.

Cora sighed.

At least someone got something
good
out of tonight.

She fell into her submissive role and allowed her mind to go silent. Here, she was only expected to be quiet. Even if Master's Aidan's arms were what she craved, this was a good
alternative.

Cora had no clue how much time had drifted by when two black boots came into her vision.
Master Kyler
. Before she could look up, he asked in a low voice, “Can I take her?”

Master Kyler had clearly received a nod from Porter, since no words were exchanged. A finger tucked under Cora's jaw, and she looked to Master Kyler. He frowned. “You need to be hugged, woman. Come here.”

He gathered her into his arms and his spicy scent spun around her as he carried her across the dungeon into a dark corner. He took a seat on the couch and tucked her against his side, wrapping a blanket over her.

Cora tensed as Kyler's arms weren't the ones she wanted around her—her heart and her mind were with only one guy, had been with only one guy, and no one else could cure her—but she needed to be held.

God, she needed it so bad.

Cora exhaled long and deep, resting her head against his cotton T-shirt. She didn't look at Master Kyler. She didn't need to see the tenderness to know it was there in his gaze. Her pulse steadied as his warmth surrounded her.

His arm tightened around her back. “You don't need to worry that my holding you means I expect play tonight. This is merely friendship. It's me recognizing you need this.” He cupped her arm with a firm grip. “Do you understand, Cora?”

“Yes, sir,” she whispered.

They had always been close.

Cora met him at a club in San Francisco while she was traveling. During her aftercare after their mind-blowing scene, they talked about both living in Vegas and exchanged phone numbers. That later led to him arranging a meeting with Master Dmitri to discuss membership. The rest was history.

He pressed his chin against her head. “Cry, Cora” His chest heaved under her head before he added, “It's all right to cry now that Aidan's gone.”

His voice had softened, exuding a comfort that Cora hadn't known she needed. As if his order told her to unleash the sadness that crippled her. She grasped his T-shirt, and a sob broke free from her chest.

Reality smacked into her like waves crashing and pulling her under. Her soul emptied
that she had caused this to happen. If she'd said nothing to Aidan, it would've been fine. Why did his touch have to remind her of how she used to feel? Why did she recognize the distance in the scene? And why couldn't she have kept her mouth shut?

She'd known from day one he couldn't love her and if she were ever honest about her feelings it would push him away. Aidan's pain had destroyed him, but she'd slowly watched him come out of it.

Too see what Aidan looked like without restraint and distance brought hope. On their camping trip, he'd been carefree. There'd been no walls between, and maybe…just maybe…she thought he'd taken another step to leave his pain behind.

Perhaps she'd believed he realized how good they were together.

He'd made her laugh. He'd always made her feel like she was special. She adored that he always kept up with her sass. Deep down, Aidan was a good man who took care of the woman with him.

Why did she have to demand more than what he'd given her?

Now she had no part of him at all.

Hot tears rushed over her warm cheeks, and she couldn't stop them. The worst thing of all, Aidan was drawn back into his pain. All she'd wanted—all she'd been trying to do—was help him see past it. She hated that she'd pushed him into such darkness. If she could go back and not say what she'd said to him in the cemetery, she would.

She'd take back so many things.

When her breath stopped hitching under her sobs, she managed, “I didn't want this.”

Master Kyler hugged her tight. “I know, sweetie.”

She stared at the stone dungeon wall and clung to him. He didn't seem to mind her tears dampening his T-shirt. She couldn't get away from the horror of what Aidan was going through…
all alone
.

No matter how warm Kyler's arms were, they weren't the arms she wanted wrapped around her, and she ached for Aidan. “Is he okay?”

“He's fine,” Kyler said with a low, deadly edge. “No more talking about Aidan tonight. Close your eyes.” He squeezed his arms around her, as if he would never let go. “Think of this moment and that I don't want to be anywhere else but with you.”

Aidan entered Club Sin with one intent: Find Cora
.

He spotted her in the center of the dungeon, as if she'd been tonight's entertainment. Spotlights beamed down on her, making her flesh glitter under the light. He glanced around the dimly lit club, seeing no one else in the dungeon
.

Odd, though he didn't care
.

Cora had been bound to an office desk. Her legs were wrapped with crimson-colored ropes, so her thighs pressed against her torso. Then the rope ran down the desk legs and held firm. Her hands rested at each corner of the desk and her wrists were bound in a similar fashion to the front legs of the desk. Her long hair hung off the edge of the desk
.

Her beauty stole the air from Aidan's lungs
.

“Waiting for me, luv,” he said, when he reached her
.

Her pretty eyes cut to his, so deep in arousal. “I've been waiting a long time for you, sir.”

He brushed her cheek, admiring how stunning she looked, restrained and awaiting anything he wanted. His to command, to pleasure. His to play with in the way he wanted. His to fuck. His to love
.

A tray rested next to the desk, containing only two nipple clamps and a bottle of lube. He hadn't known who left it for him, but he took the invitation to enjoy a woman so perfect she left him breathless
.

He grabbed the nipple clamps, and then moved to her side. He squeezed her breast, massaging the heavy weight in his hand. Then he leaned over her and circled his tongue around her nipple before he sucked the bud deep into the roof of his mouth
.

With her nipple erect, he added the clamp, and Cora groaned as he tightened it, squeezing her nipple for sensation play. With the sparkling diamonds hanging off the clamp, she looked stunning
.

In fact, diamonds on Cora looked all too perfect
.

Without pause, he added the clamp onto the other breast. She arched, giving a soft moan
as he secured it. Her breath grew raspy, her face flushing deep in color
.

Tonight he wouldn't flog her. This wasn't about her. This was about his wants and desires. His need to play with her as he desired and to satisfy his craving to own her. Tonight she would feel every inch of him
.

Normally he'd bring pleasure, then pain. But no, he'd bring pain with both the clamps and his cock. Tonight he'd play different. New expectations. New demands. All on his terms. With that erotic pain, he'd watch her morph that slight pain into pleasure
.

He'd ask that of her now
.

He wanted—no, demanded—more of her
.

Shedding his clothes, he dropped them to the ground. As the warm air in the dungeon and the silence drifted across him, he grabbed the lube off the tray. Then he coated his hard cock in a thin layer of the warm liquid
.

The shine glistened off the spotlight above him. His rock-hard cock was greedy to claim her. He kept his gaze transfixed on her as he settled at her bottom, which hung slightly off the edge of the desk
.

Her heart-shaped ass drew his focus. She was spread open, all of herself totally exposed to her. Her bottom was his for taking. Her body was his to possess. “Whose ass is this, Cora?” He rested his heavy cock against the puckered knot
.

“Yours, sir.”

He pressed the tip of his cock against her straining hole. “My ass to fuck, if I'd like to?”

Her breath became raspy, her pupils enlarged. “Yes, sir.”

Cora grunted as he pushed against her puckered hole. When he popped in through tight knots of muscle, she moaned. Aidan shifted his hips and added pressure, sliding deep inside her. She squeezed him, nearly crossing his eyes. He grunted, loving how much force he had to add—how pleasurable the squeeze of her muscles was around his shaft
.

Each shift he made forward, she pushed against him. Her low moans indicated the lack of pleasure at the moment, the burn she experienced at the stretch to accept him into her anus. He didn't relent. She never said stop
.

He kept pushing deep inside her, as her tight muscles sent him tumbling into euphoria. When his pelvis pressed against her ass, he leaned down, cupping her face. “I'm sorry I've hurt you.” Pretty eyes, so lost in desire held his. “I don't deserve you, Cora. I've crushed you.”

“I don't need an apology, Aidan.” She gasped as he slid in and out of her bottom. “I've been strong for us both. Now I need you to love me.”

He groaned. She was treating his cock to a sensation so tight and favorable. “I'll give you so much more, luv.”

The moment the words left his mouth, all sensation vanished. Cora was no longer beneath him and bound to the desk. The club looked dark and abandoned. His throbbing, heavy cock rested against the wood, as if he'd never been inside her
.

As if Cora had never been with him
.

His world shattered. Her absence he couldn't endure. He nearly dropped to his knees and roared out his pain when a soft voice said, “Aidan.”

His heart hammered as he turned, and then the floor dropped from under him. Lily sat on the black leather couch by the dungeon's door. Her long brown hair flowed along her shoulders. Her white dress settled over her crossed knee. She looked like his angel that had been taken away from him all too soon. His heart ached; his voice became thick in his throat. “Why are you here?”

“I'm watching you live again.” She smiled at him with twinkling light eyes. “Forgive yourself and be happy with her, Aidan.”

Aidan woke with a gasp and sat up straight in bed. His pulse raced and his cock throbbed beneath the bedsheets. The sun beamed through the window, showing dust along his cherrywood furniture.

He ran his hands over his face, exhaling a long breath. His mind spun with the wicked thoughts of his dream and of Lily watching the exchange.
What the fuck was that?

Dropping his hands from his damp, warm face, he scanned his empty bedroom, hearing nothing but silence. A fast burst of ice coursed through his veins, softening his cock. His thoughts of Cora, touching her and commanding her, consumed him.

Instead of doing that with her, he sat in his house all alone. His heart clenched. He had nothing—no Cora, no Lily—and yet he could have it all. Cora had bared her soul to him and had offered him her love.

Why was he refusing her?

Aidan ripped off the sheets and approached his walk-in closet next to the master bathroom. Once inside, he reached for the memory box on the top shelf of the wooden cabinets.
He dragged his feet along the hardwood floors and returned to his bed. The sun shone through the window next to him as he opened the box. His hands trembled as he took out the photo album containing memories with Lily.

He shut his eyes for a moment, gaining strength. Then he flipped the cover open to a picture of Lily in their backyard. He stared at her, a woman he had loved beyond anything he thought himself capable.

With Cora heavy on his mind, and with Lily's voice in his ears, Aidan allowed himself to go deep into his soul. As if his past and present could no longer fight. The two women were woven into his life and had faced him in a dream.

He could no longer hide. Bringing Lily and Cora together had made him unable to run from the pain ripping him to shreds. He had lost Lily, but he couldn't stand the thought of losing Cora, too.

Aidan knew he'd gotten past Lily's death. His affection for Cora had brought him out of a dark place in his life. Her smile had soothed him. Her personality had made him laugh. She had brought him joy when he thought he couldn't possibly be happy again.

At the cemetery with Cora, he'd known that he no longer mourned Lily. Of course he would always miss her. But he had accepted her death. Though something else had kept him shadowed in misery, something he had refused to deal with. Now he knew that avoidance had only made it worse. He brushed his finger over Lily's cheek in the picture. “How do I fix this, Lily?”

She's dead
, his mind told him.

She can't answer you
, his heart bled.

Aidan had always listened to Lily's advice. She'd always known how to fix everything. He needed someone to answer his spun-around thoughts. He needed to shed the darkness in his soul. Maybe he'd been too quiet about what he went through. Perhaps he'd dealt with his pain alone, which had been the wrong thing to do. Even more so, he thought for the first time, he needed to lean on others.

As a Dom, he wanted to portray strength.

As a man, he knew hiding his weaknesses had broken him.

He couldn't outrun his
demons
. They had consumed him like poison in his veins. He'd become a man he couldn't be proud of. One he couldn't live with, and a man that would have
made Lily ashamed.

He hadn't fought back.

He'd run.

Aidan might have said goodbye to Lily and accepted a life without her, but he hadn't forgiven himself. He couldn't begin to understand what he needed to do to make that happen. To admit his weakness broke the very foundation of his Dom instincts.

Though, maybe that's exactly what he needed to do: admit that he had failed.

Aidan sighed, placing the photo album back into the box. He placed all his memories of Lily on the floor. He wouldn't put those items back in the closet. It was time for him to face everything he'd ignored.

His muscles tensed as he reached for his phone on the nightstand. He texted Kyler,
You up?

Kyler's reply came a second later:
It's Saturday—why are you texting me this early?

Up for a climb?

Pick me up in twenty
.

Two hours later, Aidan took in a blue sky that didn't have a cloud in sight. The air smelled clean and fresh, even if the dry humidity tightened his lungs. In the well-known climbing spot at Mount Charleston, the sandstone pressed against his chest as he climbed the rock face.

When he reached the next ledge, he clipped into the silver bolt. The climbing rope held snug as he maneuvered his way up the rock. Though his muscles burned and sweat covered his body, he welcomed the exertion.

Aidan needed to shed the angst invading him. His chest had never been so heavy and his head so murky. Squinting against the sun, he used the friction of his hand to hold his position. He examined his next move before he continued. Using his fingers, he gripped the rock above, and his legs bore most of his weight.

He paused, reaching the spot on the climb that called for a dynamic maneuver. A wide grin spread over his face. Adrenaline rushed like an energy drink into his body. He spotted the overhang above him, and he leaned against the rope, examining the rock.

Once he had the move well established in his mind, he pushed off with his feet and jumped, grabbing on to the overhang. With a grunt, his fingers wrapped around the pointed edge
and he held his breath, pulling himself up. Every muscle screamed in agony, forcing him to search deep and push past the pain.

When he reached the top of the rock face, he rolled over the edge. His heart pounded in his ears as he pushed off the ground. Then he anchored the rope into the bolt on top of the cliff. With wobbly legs and sweat coating his skin, he dropped onto the edge, dangling his feet over the rock face.

He glanced down at the bottom of the cliff and chuckled as Kyler struggled to make it to the top. Aidan hadn't picked an easy rock to climb—why would he? Kyler deserved some pain for the conversation the other night that Aidan hadn't stopped thinking about. Still, Aidan hadn't been too hard on him, since he knew he deserved Kyler's wrath, steering him to climb the right side, since it was easier.

Ten minutes later, Kyler reached the top and he pulled himself over the edge. “Bastard.” His gray T-shirt was soaked in sweat, and even his black cotton shorts stuck to his legs. “Easy climb my fucking ass, you prick.”

Aidan couldn't fault Kyler's exertion; he wasn't in any better shape. His navy blue tank top and khaki shorts were equally drenched, as was the hair under his baseball cap. He removed his hat, shaking the sweat from his hair. “You didn't cut yourself, and you made it to the top.” He grinned. “It wasn't
that
hard.”

“Bullshit,” Kyler muttered.

Aidan removed his harness, as did Kyler. After Aidan gathered the rope, he placed it and the harnesses into the backpack they'd left before their climb. With a long breath to settle the race of his heart, he returned to the edge of the rock and stared out into the forest below.

Beautiful
.

Some things could be so complicated. Others, like nature, remained the simple. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back. He didn't stress out in nature; everything went quiet and calm. There, he could always let it all go.

As the hot sun scorched his face, Aidan lowered his head. Kyler approached, offering him a beer. Aidan popped the top and took a big gulp, the crisp, cool liquid sliding easily down his dry throat.

Kyler gulped half the beer back before he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “All right. Talk.”

Aidan snorted because he'd been that obvious. Though he knew Kyler had been right about some things in their talk, he hadn't been right about everything, which was Aidan's fault. He hadn't let anyone get close enough to understand. With Cora's well-being on his mind, his pride to fight this alone no longer mattered. “You were right.”

“Yeah, I know,” Kyler said and snorted.

Aidan shook his head and grimaced at the typical Kyler answer. “You also had some of it wrong.”

Kyler leaned back on his hands, raising his brows in curiosity. “Oh, yeah, which part?”

Aidan glanced out to the forest below and a hawk soared above the treetops. “It's not that I can't move on from Lily and date another woman.”