The Coincidence of Callie and Kayden (29 page)

“Hey?” I graze my finger along the small birthmark on the side of her eye. “Are you okay?”

She blinks at me and I can tell she’s trying not to cry. “Yeah, I’m fine.” She squirms out of my arms and starts to climb over me. “Can you just give me a few moments?”

I’m worried. The sadness that washed away from her eyes momentarily has returned and is magnified. “Where are you going?”

“I have to…” She trails off as she stands up and pulls her bra and shirt back into place.

I sit up, reaching for her arm. “Callie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

She throws the door open and runs out without so much as an explanation.

“God, dammit.” I flop down on the bed, dragging my fingers across my face. Usually, I’m the one who bails out of these kinds of situations, which makes me wonder what she’s running from.

Callie

I have no idea what just happened. Well, actually I do. I had my first orgasm, simply by rubbing up against Kayden’s leg and then he finished it off with his hand. It felt so good, my mind could scarcely comprehend anything else, but when it’s over, everything piles on my shoulders like cracked bricks. Suddenly, I see
his
face instead of Kayden’s.

He’s looking at me with concern as I jump off the bed and race out of the room. Once I’m in the bathroom, I lock the door and collapse onto my knees in front of the toilet. I lift the lid, feeling the pain burn in my stomach. I want it out. So badly. I drop my head down, jab my finger down my throat, and with a sharp shove, I force everything to exit my body. My shoulders jerk as I hack on my finger and the vomit tears at my throat. My eyes water and my nostrils burn as I lean away and take my finger out of my mouth. The tip has a little blood on it and I wipe it off on a piece of toilet paper.

I rest my back against the cold tile wall and my head falls back. Hot tears spill out of my eyes and stream down my cheeks as I smear the vomit and sweat off my face with the sleeve of my shirt, my chest twitching fitfully as I work to breathe.

“I don’t want to be this way,” I whisper as my eyes fill up with tears. “I don’t want to be this way.” I yank at my hair and scream through my teeth, fucking hating the guy who did this to me with every single ounce of strength that I own. “I fucking hate you. I fucking hate you… I fucking…” My cries overwhelm me and I surrender, bawling my eyes and heart out.

***

I can’t stop thinking about Kayden and the way it felt when he touched me, how good it felt. I want to do it again. I just wish I could stop associating it with that one fucking time. That God damn time I wish I could forget.

I go back to the memory a thousand times, wishing I’d be able to see what was going on beforehand. I really thought he just wanted to give me a birthday present.

I followed him down the hallway so easily and into my room, actually glancing around at my bed and floor, searching for the present.

“Where is it?” I had asked him, turning around.

He was locking the door. Why was he locking the door?

***

A week goes by and I avoid Kayden at all costs. I ignore his calls, skip out on the one class I have with him, and don’t answer my door when he knocks. I feel bad, but I’m too embarrassed to face him. I assumed after what happened he’d just walk away, but it’s not the case.

At the end of the week, I sneak off to the library when I know he’s in Biology class to find some books for a paper I have to write about depression. The campus is fairly quiet since it’s so close to the holidays. My mom and dad are flying out to Florida to see my grandparents for Thanksgiving, so I’m not going home. I can’t afford the plane ticket to fly there with them, either.

While I’m searching a shelf, my phone buzzes in my pocket. “Hey, I thought you had class,” I answer it.

Seth says, “Shouldn’t I be saying the same thing to you?”

“I’m taking a break today.”

“A break from what, though?” he asks with insinuation.

“Life.” I skim my fingers along the titles, feeling the worn spines of the books. “Besides, I’m using my time to catch up on assignments. By the sound of that music playing in the background, I’m taking it that you’re watching reruns of
Pretty Little Liars
.”

“Hey, I’m not planning on spending all day in my room,” he argues. “In fact, I’m going to head out right now to see you. Where are you?”

I sigh, standing up straight. “I’m in the library trying to find this damn book on depression. The catalogue said it was in, but it’s totally not on the shelf.”

“What section are you in?”

“I’m in the back corner, near the window that shows the stadium.” I swallow the lump in my throat that forms when I think of Kayden.

“Are you going to be there for a while?” he asks and the television shuts off. “I’m heading out now.”

Standing on my tiptoes, I peer up at the top row of the shelf. “Probably. I’m too short to see the top.”

“Alright, Callie Girl, one knight in shining armor is on his way.” He hangs up and I put my phone into my back pocket.

I search the nearby aisles for a stepstool I’ve seen around a few times. Finally, I give up and go back to the spot. Propping my foot on the second shelf up, I check from left to right and climb up the shelf.

“There it is,” I say and grab the book from the row. I hop down and sense someone move up beside me. When I glance up, suddenly Seth’s little comment about a knight in shining armor makes sense. Kayden is in front of me, wearing jeans and a black hoodie, his brown hair disheveled.

“Hey.” His shoulders are rigid and his voice is tight. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Yeah,” I admit, fiddling with the corners of the pages. “I’m sorry about that. There was just some stuff going on.”

“You don’t need to be sorry, Callie.” He rests his arm on one of the shelves and leans his weight against it. “I’d just liked to know what’s going on… Did I… did I push you to do stuff?”

I shake my head. “Nothing about any of this is your fault, I promise. I wanted to… everything that happened, I wanted.”

His shoulders unstiffen. “Then why did you run off?”

“It’s complicated,” I say, staring at the spot on the floor in front of my feet. 

He angles his body forward and lowers his face to capture my gaze. “You could talk to me about it. Maybe I can help. I’m pretty good at understanding complicated.”

“It’s not anything that can be helped,” I say. “It’s just something I’ve got to work through.”

He lets out a gradual breath. “I completely understand that.”

“I’m really sorry for freaking out on you. I shouldn’t have just run off or avoided you for the last week. I just didn’t know what to say and felt stupid. I’ll try not to do it again.”

“Is there going to be another time for you to try to not do it again?”

I didn’t realize what I was saying. “I don’t know. What do you want?”

He chuckles lowly. “I think I’ve been pretty clear on what I want. So it’s really up to you. What do you want, Callie?”

My eyes travel up his long legs, his tight chest, and land on his eyes that care about nothing more than to hear my answer.
I want him. I want him.
I’ve scribbled it down in my journal many times because it’s the truth.

“I want…” I pause trying to figure out the best words. “I want to spend more time with you.”

His smile broadens and his posture loosens as he cracks his knuckles. “You were making me nervous there for a minute.”

I can’t help but smile at him. “I was just trying to think of the right words.”

His eyes move over my shoulder to the window where the sky is starting to turn pink as the sun descends below the hills. “I have to be at the stadium in like five minutes, but can you do something for me?”

I tuck the book under my arm. “Sure. What?”

“Can you come watch me play?” he asks. “I need someone to cheer me on.”

“Isn’t that what cheerleaders are for?” I joke.

“Cheerleaders are overrated.” He reaches toward my face, hesitates, and then grazes the pad of his thumb along my bottom lip. “Besides, I have a feeling you’ll bring me a lot of luck.”

I have to force my eyelids to stay open from his touch. “Alright… I’ll be there.”

***

The sky is grey, the lights are bright on the green field, and the metal bench beneath my butt is colder than a freezer. There are clusters of people around me, yelling, laughing, and waving their hands in the air. It makes me antsy, but I work through it.

“So what is it with football that makes people crazy?” Seth observes the field with wide eyes and then squints at the red digital timer on the board. “I really don’t get what the big deal is. I never have. I’ve even been to games before—watched… Braiden play—But I still don’t get it.”

“Maybe it’s fun to watch guys run around wearing tight pants,” I suggest with a shrug.

“You know what? You just made an excellent point.” His brown eyes sweep the field where the players are lined up as he tugs the hood of his jacket over his head.

Kayden is easy to spot because he’s one of the tallest. Of course the “Owens” on the back of his brown and yellow jersey is kind of a dead giveaway, too. I think he’s glanced up at me a few times, but it’s hard to tell for sure.

Five minutes later Seth grows restless, tapping his fingers on his bouncing knee. “I feel like I need to get up and dance or something. Liven up this party.”

I motion my hand in the air. “Dance away.”

He cocks his head to the side at the round man sitting next to him, wearing a beanie and a hooded sweatshirt, and stuffing his face with peanuts. “I wonder what this guy would do if I did.”

I laugh, tucking my hands between my legs. “Probably throw those peanuts at you.”

He pulls a face and then exaggeratedly rubs his belly. “Good, I hope he does. I’m starving.”

I glance up at the timer. “There’s only two more minutes left.”

“And are we winning or losing?”

“The score is twenty-eight to three.”

He raises his hands to the side, aiming me a “duh” look. “And who’s twenty-eight?”

I point at my chest. “We are. We’re winning by a lot.”

He bobs his head from side to side, eyeing the woman in front of us, inhaling a hamburger. “God, I’m so hungry.”

I sigh, pointing at the stairway. “Then go get something to eat. There are some booths outside.”

He stares at the stairs skeptically. “Will you come with me? Sports people are intense.”

Laughing, I get to my feet and he follows me. I say excuse me at least ten times while I accidentally step on people’s toes. When we are on the stairs, I let out a breath of relief at the open space and follow Seth as he trots down to the bottom.

“You’re not leaving, are you?” I hear someone shout over the rustle of the crowd.

Kayden is standing at the sidelines, looking extremely sexy in his uniform, his emerald eyes locked on me.

I shake my head, wrapping my fingers around the cold railing, and lean over it. “No, Seth just needs to get something to eat!”

“Good, because I don’t want you to take your luck with you!” he shouts with a wink and a smile.

I try not to let a big silly grin surface on my lips. “Don’t worry! I’ll be back!”

Wait for me afterwards
, he mouths, his lips moving slowly from beneath his helmet. Mesmerized, I nod and he turns back to his team with a spring in his walk.

I return my attention back to the aisle and almost run into Seth. “I thought you kept walking.” I brace myself against the railing and step back.

He gapes at me unfathomably. “I can’t believe this.”