Read The Collected Poetry of Nikki Giovanni Online
Authors: Nikki Giovanni
The Collected Poetry of Nikki Giovanni (26 page)
Poems
1991â1998
i move on feeling and have learned to distrust those who don't
i move in time and space determined by time and space feeling
that all is natural and i am
a part of it and “how could you?” they ask you had everything
but the men who killed the children in birmingham aren't on
the most wanted list and the men who killed schwerner, chaney
and Goodman aren't on the most wanted list and the list of names
unlisted could and probably would include most of our “finest
Leaders” who are WANTED in my estimation for at least serious
questioning so we made a list and listed it
“but you had everything,” they said and i asked “quakers?” and i asked
“jews?” and i asked “being sent from home?” my mother told me the world
would one day speak my name then she recently suggested angela Yvonne
why don't you take up sports like your brother and i sais “i don't run
as well as he” but they told me over and over again “you can have them
all at your feet” though i knew they were at my feet when i was born
and the heavens opened up sending the same streak of lightning through
my mother as through new york when i was arrested
and i saw my sisters and brothers and i heard them tell the young
racists “you can't march with us” and i thought i can't march at all
and i looked at the woman whose face was kissed by night as she said
“angela you shall be free” and i thought i won't be free even if i'm set
loose, the game is set the tragedy written my part is captive
i thought of betty shabazz and the voices who must have said “aren't you
sort of glad it's over?” with that stupidity that fails to notice
it will never be over for some of us and our children and our
grandchildren. betty can no more forget that staccato than i the pain
in jonathan's face or the love in george's letters. and i remember
the letter where i asked “why do't you write Beverly axelrod and become
rich and famous” and his complete reply
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i remember water and sky and paris and wanting someone to be mine
a german? but the world is in love with germans so why not? though
i being the youngest daughter of Africa and the sun was rejected
and all the while them saying “isn't she beautiful?” and she being
i thinking “aren't you sick” and i remember wanting to give myself but
nothing being big enough to take me and searching for the right way
to live and seeing the answer understanding the right way to die
though death is as distasteful as the second cigarette in the morning
and don't you understand? i value my life so surely all others must value
theirs and that's the weakness the weak use against us. they so
casually make decisions like who's going to live and who's
going to
starve to death and who will be happy or not and they never know
what their life means since theirs lacks meaning and they never
have to try to understand what someone else's life could mean
those guards and policemen who so casually take the only possession
worth possessing and dispense with it like an empty r.c. cola bottle
never understanding the vitality of its contents
and the white boys and girls came with their little erections and i
learned to see but not show feeling and i learned to talk while not
screaming though i would scream if anyone understands that language
and i would reach if there were a substance and Black people say
i went communist and i only and always thought i went and Black people
say “why howard johnson's” but i could think of no other place and Black
people ask “why didn't i shoot it out?” when i thought i
had. and they say
they have no responsibility and i knew they would not rest until my
body was brought out in tiny flabby pieces
the list is long and our basic Christianity teaches us to sacrifice
the good to the evil and if the blood is type O positive maybe they
will be satisfied but white people are like any other gods with an insatiable
appetite and as long as we sacrifice our delicate to their coarse we will sacrifice
i mean i started with a clear head cause i felt i should and feeling
is much more than mere emotion though that is not to be sacrificed
and through it all i was looking for this woman angela yvonne
and i wanted to be harriet tubman who was the first
WANTED
Black woman
and i wanted to bring myself and us out of the fear and into the Dark
but my helpers trapped me and this i have learned of loveâit is harder
to be loved than to love and the responsibilities of letting yourself
be loved are too great and perhaps i shall never love again cause i would rather need than allow, and what i'm saying is
i had five hours of freedom when i recognized my lovers had decided
and i was free in my mind to sayâwhatever you do you will not know
what you have done
we walked that october afternoon among the lights and smells of autumn
people and i tried so to hold on. and as i turned 51st street and eighth
and saw, i knew there was nothing more to say so i thought
and i entered the elevator touching the insides as a woman is touched
i looked into the carpet as we were expelled
and entered the key
which would both open and close me
and i thought to them all
to myself just make it easy
on yourself
diamonds are minedâ¦oil is discovered
gold is foundâ¦but thoughts are uncovered
wool is shearedâ¦silk is spun
weaving is hardâ¦but words are fun
highways spanâ¦bridges connect
country roads rambleâ¦but i suspect
if i took a rainbow ride
i could be there by your side
metaphor has its point of view
allusion and illusionâ¦too
meterâ¦verseâ¦classicalâ¦free
poems are what you do to me
let's look at this one more time
since i've put this rap to rhyme
when i take my rainbow ride
you'll be right there at my side
hey bop hey bop hey re re bop
(A Poem Commemorating the 10th Anniversary of the Slave Memorial at Mount Vernon)
No one asked usâ¦what we thought of Jamestownâ¦in 1619â¦they didn't even say⦓Welcome”⦓You're Home”â¦or even a pitiful⦓I'm Sorryâ¦But We Just Can't Make Itâ¦Without You”â¦Noâ¦No one said a wordâ¦They just snatched our drumsâ¦separated us by language and genderâ¦and put us on blocksâ¦where our beautyâ¦like our dignityâ¦was ignored
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No one said a wordâ¦in 1776â¦to us about Freedomâ¦The rebels wouldn't pretendâ¦the British liedâ¦We kept to a spaceâ¦where we owned our soulsâ¦since we understoodâ¦another century would passâ¦before we owned our bodiesâ¦But we raised our voicesâ¦in a mighty cryâ¦to the Heavens aboveâ¦for the strength to endure
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No one says⦓What I like about your people”â¦then ticks off the wonder of the wonderful thingsâ¦we've givenâ¦Our song to God, Our strength to the Earthâ¦Our unfailing belief in forgivenessâ¦I know what I like about usâ¦is that we let no one turn us aroundâ¦not thenâ¦not nowâ¦we plant our feetâ¦on higher groundâ¦I like who we wereâ¦and who we areâ¦and since someone has askedâ¦let me say: I am proud to be a Black Americanâ¦I am proud that my people labored honestlyâ¦with forbearance and dignityâ¦I am proud that we believeâ¦as no other people doâ¦that all are equal in His sightâ¦We didn't write a constitutionâ¦we live oneâ¦We didn't say “We the People”â¦we are oneâ¦We didn't have to addâ¦as an after-thought⦓Under God”â¦We turn our faces to the rising sunâ¦knowingâ¦a New Dayâ¦is alwaysâ¦beginning
This is not a poemâ¦this is hot chocolate at the beginning of Springâ¦topped with hand whipped double creamâ¦a splash of brandy to give it sassâ¦and just a little cinnamon to give it classâ¦This is not a poem
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This is a summer quiltâ¦log cabin patternâ¦see the corner pieceâ¦that was grandmother's wedding dressâ¦that was grandpappa's favorite Sunday tieâ¦that white strip thereâ¦is the baby who diedâ¦Mommy had pneumonia so that red flannel shows the healingâ¦This does not hang from museum wallsâ¦nor will it sell for thousandsâ¦This is here to keep me warm
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This is not a sonnetâ¦though it will singâ¦Precious Lordâ¦take my handâ¦Amazing Graceâ¦how sweet the soundâ¦Go down, Mosesâ¦Way down to the pastâ¦Way up to the futureâ¦It will swell with the voice of Marian Andersonâ¦lilt on the arias of Leontyneâ¦dance on the trilling of Battleâ¦do the dirty dirty with Bessieâ¦moan with Dinah Washingtonâ¦rock and roll through the Sixtiesâ¦rap its way into the Ninetiesâ¦and go on out into Space with Etta James saying At Lastâ¦No, this is not a sonnetâ¦but the truth of the beauty that the only authentic voice of Planet Earth comes from the black soilâ¦tilled and minedâ¦by the Daughters of the Diaspora
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This is a rocking chairâ¦rock me gently in the bosom of Abrahamâ¦This is a bus seat: No, I'm not going to move todayâ¦This is a porchâ¦where they sat spitting at firefliesâ¦telling young Alex the story of The Africanâ¦This is a hook rugâ¦to cover a dirt floorâ¦This is an iron potâ¦with the left over vegetablesâ¦making a slow cooking soupâ¦This is porkâ¦simmering chitterlingsâ¦surprising everybody with our ability to make a wayâ¦out of no wayâ¦This is not rest when we are wearyâ¦nor comfort when we are sadâ¦It is laughterâ¦when we are in painâ¦It is
“N'mind” when we are confusedâ¦It is “Keep climbing, chile” when the road takes the unfair turnâ¦It is “Don't let nobody turn you round”â¦when our way is darkâ¦It is the faith of our Mothersâ¦who plaited our hairâ¦put Vaseline on our facesâ¦polished our run down shoesâ¦patched our dressesâ¦wore sweaters so that we could wear coatsâ¦who welcomed us and our childrenâ¦when we were left alone to rear themâ¦who said “Get your educationâ¦and nobody can put you back”
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This is not a poemâ¦Noâ¦It is a celebration of the road we have traveledâ¦It is a prayerâ¦for the roads yet to comeâ¦This is an explosionâ¦The original Big Bangâ¦that makes the world a hopefulâ¦loving place
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This is the Black womanâ¦in all our trouble and gloryâ¦in all our past history and future forbearanceâ¦in all that ever made love a possibilityâ¦.â¦.â¦.â¦.â¦â¦. This is about usâ¦
bleached and naturalâ¦braided and straightened hairâ¦
made upâ¦orâ¦beaten up facesâ¦
tallâ¦shortâ¦statelyâ¦bentâ¦
CC Ridersâ¦junkiesâ¦whoresâ¦
wivesâ¦mothersâ¦grandmothersâ¦aunts
working in the home or outsideâ¦
working in the system or outsideâ¦
working praying working to surviveâ¦
giving prideâ¦giving succorâ¦giving voiceâ¦giving
encouragementâ¦giving whateverâ¦we can give
This is a flagâ¦that we placed over Peter Salem and Peter Poorâ¦the 54th Regiment from Massachusettsâ¦All the men and women lynched in the name of rapeâ¦Emmett Tillâ¦Medgar Eversâ¦Malcolm Xâ¦Martin Luther King, Jrâ¦. Thisa banner we fly for Respectâ¦Dignityâ¦the Assumption of Integrityâ¦for a future generation to rally around
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This is about usâ¦Celebrating ourselvesâ¦And a well deserved honor it isâ¦Light the candles, Essenceâ¦This is a rocketâ¦Let's ride
You seeâ¦I Know the Isley Brothers. Know where they come from. Know the high school they went to. Remember when they moved to Blue Ash. Knew their little brother Vernon who used to do a mad and wonderful itch. And who remembers the itch? But Vernon would stand on stage and reach around and swizzle his hips and the amateur night audience would be on their feet though Rudolph and O'Kelly were probably the beneficiaries of that energy butâ¦you seeâ¦I know them
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You seeâ¦We all come from Lincoln Heights which is an independent Black city just outside Cincinnati and we mostly say we are from Cincinnati because nobody knows Lincoln Heights but back in the old days when white people would periodically go crazy and need/want/have to kill somebody Black lots of Black people moved from the river front into the West End and when they could if they could out of the West End and into the Valley and in the Valleyâ¦you seeâ¦land was ten cents an acre which is not a lot today but from folks walking away from slavery and folks running from crazy folks who wanted to/needed to/were definitely going to/kill them ten cents meant the difference between life and deathâ¦But
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You seeâ¦it's like everything else so Black folks moved way out there and the Erie Canal was suppose to go from Cleveland down what ultimately became I-75 to connect the Lake to the River and if that had happened instead of it not happening then all the Black folks who scraped together a nickel or so so that they could get a little piece of land would have had worthless condemned land but the canal did not happen though Lincoln Heights did
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And then wars and stuff started happening and General Electric where progress is the most important product wanted to have a lot of land but they didn't want to have to pay for it so they split the
land and called it Evendale and what was left on the hill was Lincoln Heights and I'm sure I don't have to say which is Black and which is white but I bet you can guessâ¦So
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You seeâ¦The Valley Homes were built for folks to work in the GE plant not to mention folks needing some place to live and other folks not wanting to live near them though the Valley Homes were good enough for us which considering the alternative they were but that doesn't make it right but it was definitely O.K. because Lincoln Heights had great athletes who would have been famous if they had been allowed to go to desegregated schools so that Virgil Thompson went to West Virginia State but nobody much cared about talented boys from a small Black town that was incorporated and he came back
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You seeâ¦we had singers too and Pookey Smith could really sing and everybody loved to hear him at Christmas or any other time but Pookey and his brother didn't have a mother like Mrs. Isley who was determined that her boys were going to get out not because she didn't like Lincoln Heights or even the Valley Homes but she knew if she could get them out then the talents they had would have a chance to grow and that's more or less when they moved to Blue Ash and Vernon was run over by a car and all of Lincoln Heights wanted to see them become rich and famous since we already knew they were talented and beautiful. But Ernie came along and we all were happy though nobody does the itch anymore since that's what Vernon didâ¦And we all remembered.
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You seeâ¦When they started perfecting
SHOUT
and Mrs. Isley said she was taking her boys to New York and Elaine said she was going with Rudolph and Ronald used to date my sister but she had to go on to college and the Isleys know becauseâ¦you seeâ¦they are from Lincoln Heights that they had to take care of each other and they have done thatâ¦We all mourned when O'Kelly now called Kelly died because he was such a good friend to all of us and none of them ever forgot where they came from and how
much love all of Lincoln Heights still sends out to all of them and just recently
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You Seeâ¦I was home and it was Mother's Day at church and their Grandmother wanted to sing a tribute and she was still doing that Isley
SHOUT
at 92 and a lot of other people did that Isley
SHOUT
like the Beatles and Joey Dee and stuff but it was the Isley
SHOUT
that was our thing and other than the Beatles they have sold the most recordsâ¦and Lincoln Heights
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You seeâ¦Always knew they were special and that's why we know Brother Brother Brother may be an album title but it is a way of life with these powerful, wonderful sons of Lincoln Heights who are Brother to us allâ¦don'cha know
